Summary: When Tala's taxi runs out of gas, Bryan's plans for a relaxing ride to cure Ian's silly fears goes horribly wrong. But when the British taxi really does appear in the woods and chase them down, how will Tala and Bryan save their little friend from the mechanical onslaught?

Disclaimer: Beyblade does NOT belong to me, however much I might wish it does.
The plot is inspired by this freaking brilliant episode of The Regular Show, so if anyone's reading this and thinking, 'Heyyy, i've seen this somewhere before' then well, yeah, that's why. I'm not claiming it's brilliance! DDDDDD:

Thanks: Kiray Himawari; chocolatexloverx16; Spinster-magic95 and AquilaTempestas for their reviews on the previous chapters! Love to you :3

4. I'm No Gov'nor!

"Whadd'ya mean we're out of gas?"

Ian was sitting in the back seat, sweating in panic. He was practically pulling his hair out in fear, and his eyes kept darting nervously out of the back window.

"I mean, Ian, that I've worked my baby too hard and she's exhausted. I'm sorry, my little darling," Tala said, stroking the steering wheel apologetically with a mournful look in his eye, "I should have taken things a little slower."

Ian looked at his red-headed friend, totally perplexed. They were stuck in the middle of the woods with no gas and a killer British taxi surely right behind them, and all Tala could worry about was the stupid car? He looked nervously back out of the window, but there was no sign of the Taxi. Yet.

Because it was surely coming, Ian knew this. It wouldn't stop coming until it had his blood.

His eyes then fell Bryan, who was still drooling all over the window, sleeping like a baby. How could he sleep in this situation? They were all about die, and Bryan was snoring like he didn't have a care in the world.

Ian grabbed the back of his friend's seat and began to shake it, shouting right in his ear, "BRYAN!"

"Huh - arghh wh - WHAT THE FUCK IAN?"

"BRYAN! The British taxi's after me, man! And we're stuck here! We ran outta gas!"

Bryan blinked away his confusion. "Out of – what?" He look out of the window towards the trees. "Where the hell are we?"

"In Tala's stupid relaxing wood, and we're outta ga –"

"Yeah yeah, I get it! We're outta gas." Bryan clawed through his hair in irritation and Ian ducked under the back seats, covering his head with his hands. He was not a happy bunny. "Come on Tala," Bryan said, "we'd better get out and push or else we'll be stuck here all night." They both opened their doors and made to get out of the car, but then Bryan twisted around and raised an eyebrow at Ian who was still hiding under the seats. "Hey, you helping or what?"

"NO! Are you stupid? I'm not moving out in to the open where the British taxi can get me!"

Bryan rolled his eyes, already too tired of the little midget's stupidity. "T''chh, fine. I guess me and Tala'll push you all the way home then."

Bryan and Tala then began to push the car back towards where Ian was sure he saw the British taxi. Ian, realising where they were going, began to fidget nervously in the back of the car, staring outside the rear window. "No no no, not back this way! This is where the –"

His sentence was cut short when he saw a pair of headlights in the distance, traveling straight towards them. Ohmygod, ohmygod, the British taxi had found them.

Bryan and Tala were grumbling in annoyance as they pushed the car backwards, when Tala looked up and spied the pair of headlights in the distance. It looked like they were heading right towards them. "Oh, look Bryan, help has arrived!" He then stepped to the side of the forest road and began to wave his pimp cane around as if he was hailing down a cab.

"Oh, yeah… Hey, over here!" Bryan began to wave his arms around too, just so the driver wouldn't miss them.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH! IT'S FOUND ME!" Ian came tumbling out of the car and began to sprint in the opposite direction with his arms waving around like a mad man, almost knocking down Bryan.

"Hey, dude, stop!" Bryan said, "Don't go running into the woods, you'll get lost! And help's just arrived!" Bryan shouted.

Then he looked towards the car. It was closer now, and he could see it more clearly. It was tall, and black, and had a very distinctive radiator grill. In fact, Bryan thought, they looked strangely like teeth.

'...Ello Gov'nor!"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S REAL! TALA, RUN!"

Bryan grabbed Tala by the elbow and began to run in the same direction as Ian. "But Bryan, what about my baby?"

"Dammit Tala, there's no time!" They both looked backward in time to see the British taxi smash right into the New York cab. The yellow car was completely obliterated by the onslaught of the British menace. Bits of yellow metal and shards of glass went flying everywhere, and a single tyre bounced lamely on the ground.

"Oh, NOOO! My darling! My beautiful baby!" Tala was heartbroken. His second most prized possession was destroyed by that horrid other taxi. He wrenched his arm away from Bryan, stood still in his tracks and turned to face the British taxi, brandishing his pimp cane in front of him. His eyes were like ice, and his whole body was stiff with rage. "You destroyed my love." He held out his arms in front of him, with his pimp cane high in the air. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Bryan looked around to see Tala standing right in the middle of the path and screaming like a pillock. What the fuck was he thinking, he was going to get flattened by that British taxi! Bryan turned around quickly and managed to rugby tackle Tala to the ground before he was murdered by the rogue automobile. "Dude, what the fuck? You almost got yourself killed!"

"THAT car destroyed my beloved taxi! Now it has to pay!"

"Tala, that British taxi wasn't even after your car anyway, it was after – oh my god, it's after Ian." The pair's eyes met in a moment of understanding, and then they both got up and began to run after the British taxi, shouting, "IAN!"

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Ian didn't understand why these things kept happening to him. Why was the British taxi after him? Sure, he broke the tape, but couldn't they just sit down and talk about it over a nice cup of tea? It was British! It was supposed to like tea, dammit, not the blood of poor small frightened little people like him!

As Ian was running through the undergrowth and jumping over fallen logs, he chanced a glance behind him. Tala and Bryan were nowhere in sight, he sure hoped they were okay. He'd just left them in the clearing without a warning like a coward. But they should have listened to him in the first place. Stupid Bryan. Ian wondered if they believed him now.

Just then, the British taxi surprised him by zooming out towards him from the side. It was all Ian could to to roll away to the left and dodge it. Then he picked himself back up and began to run again.

'Ello Gov'nor!'

Shit, it just didn't give up! Ian was running as fast as his legs could carry him. Unfortunately, he didn't have the advantage of long legs like Bryan and Tala and Kai, or strong legs like Spencer, so his fastest just wasn't fast enough. The British taxi was gaining on him, Ian could here the growling of its engine right behind him. He was sure the taxi could've overtaken him in a second, but it didn't. It was just playing with him.

Suddenly, the taxi must have gotten impatient of its game, because it swept past Ian to the side and circled around him, blocking off his path. Ian tried to backtrack and run in the other direction, but the British taxi swept around again, and blocked him off once more.

Terrified, Ian began to step backwards, and found himself backed up against a tree. He was staring into the headlamps of death, and the British taxi was just staying still in the middle of the clearing, watching him. Grinning at him with it's spiky teeth.

"Hey, there he is! That crazy British taxi's gonna eat him! We gotta do something! Hey, IAN!"

Bryan and Tala came running into the clearing behind the taxi, and were heading straight for Ian. They split up before they reached the taxi, and ran on each side of it. However, before they got any closer, the sneaky British taxi opened both of its front doors, and Tala and Bryan ran straight into them and were knocked down. Ian watched as they fell to the floor, completely dazed by the blow.

Then, the taxi began to advance towards Ian. It was creeping slowly towards him, stretching out the moment. With every inch the growling of the engine got louder, and the glare of the headlights got sharper. Ian gulped.

'Ello Gov'nor…'

No, no no no, Ian didn't want to die. He shouted, "I'M NO GOV'NOR!" and then shot out to the side, away from the taxi once more. Unfortunately, his valiant attempt at an escape was foiled when he ran head-long, straight into a branch.

Dazed, with his head spinning, Ian found himself lying flat on his back on the ground. His ears were ringing, but he could still hear the growling of the British taxi's engine over it.

He looked up, and sure enough, he saw a pair of headlights creeping towards him.

'...Ello Gov'nor'

Ian narrowed his eyes with fury. He was fed up of this shit. He rolled over onto his front and pushed himself up to his feet. His head was throbbing from where he'd hit it on the branch, and the world was swaying a little around him, but he didn't care. He wasn't running anymore.

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a pair of snake shaped knuckle-busters. He slid them on slowly, before looking at the British taxi with narrowed eyes. "The name's Snakes," he spat.

Then, like lightening, Ian's fist flew out and punched one of the taxi's headlamps. He then punched out the second headlamp, and the clearing went dark.

"I hate you, you stupid thing! Leave me alone, you piece of crap! Stop following me!"

With every sentence Ian uttered, he punched at and tore away at a piece of the taxi. He ripped off the little glowing 'taxi' sign on the roof, he punched through the windows, he kicked off the exhaust. The clearing was filled with the sound of tearing metal and shattered glass, and not one piece of the taxi was spared from the pure, undiluted rage of Ian.

AKA. Snakes.

A/N: I know I know, a bit of an abrupt ending to this chapter, but I didn't want it to be substantially longer than any of the others. The next one will wrap everything up and put an end to this craziness.
In the meantime, YAY for tough-guy Ian. :) Who knew he actually had a pair of snake-shaped knuckle-busters? I bet the guys will think twice about teasing him after watching him tear that taxi to pieces. LIKE A BEAST! 8D

Next chapter: Monday