The Five Days of Schwarz

PART THREE

The doorbell rings, and Schuldig, clad in lounge pants and little else, is the first to answer. Without even looking through the window or the peephole, he swings the door wide open.
"S-Schuldig!"
The Japanese pronounciation of his name makes Schuldig inwardly cringe, but since it's Nagi, he'll forgive him.
"What, you've forgotten what I look like?" Schuldig mock pouts. "I'm wounded."
The girl next to Nagi, who is a few inches taller than him, Schuldig notes, looks between the two men before whispering something in Japanese.
"Would it kill you to put some clothing on?" Nagi's all flushed and Schuldig can't help but chuckle.
"We usually don't get people ringing the doorbell at, oh, half five in the morning." He gestures inside. "Come in before I freeze to death standing here."

The place looks the same as it did the last time he was here, Nagi notices. The door even squeals the same when it's closing. The living room has the addition of a Christmas tree tucked away in the corner with the lights still lit, and a cigarette is still smoldering in the ash tray on the coffee table. Nagi's companion wrinkles her nose at the smell.
"Where's Crawford?"
"Bra—" Schuldig pauses briefly, catching himself. "Crawford is indisposed." You woke us up, Nagichen. Did I mention that?
Nagi frowns at the old nickname. "I was hoping to introduce you to—"
"Tot." Schuldig flashes the blue headed young woman a grin. "Omoidase."
"Her name is Nanami," corrects Nagi.
"Whatever." Schuldig stretches. "I'll go get Crawford for you. No doubt that's who you're anxious to see anyway." He turns to leave, arms linked behind his head.
"Yo, Crawford!"

Nagi didn't know you could draw out 'r's for so long, but Schuldig, of course, manages. The noise sends a shiver up his spine.

-x-

Schuldig turns the corner and throws Crawford's bedroom door open, where it hits the adjacent wall and probably dents the plaster. He doesn't care, naturally. He also doesn't care that Crawford has jolted from his bed at the noise, which Schuldig thinks sounds like a gunshot, nor is he surprised when Crawford, who is naked from the waist up and sans glasses, also has a gun pulled. Schuldig's known Crawford sleeps with one under his pillow since he can remember.
"Guten Morgen," Schuldig says with a smirk. Crawford lowers the gun and rubs his eyes.
"Schuldig, it's five—"
"Tell that to Nagi and Tot."
Crawford stares blankly at Schuldig, like he doesn't know who either of those people are.
"Nagi und Tot," Schuldig repeats, the German slipping in due to Schuldig's sleep deprived state. "You know...Prodigy and the girl with the deadly umbrella." How much did you drink last night?

None, thank you, Crawford replies, and throws the sheets aside; Schuldig clucks his tongue in disappointment when he sees Crawford is wearing boxer shorts. Not that he can't make short work of them…
"Close the door."
Schuldig kicks it closed and, for good measure, locks it. Just in case, he says telepathically when Crawford gives him a questioning look. Just in case I don't like how those boxers fit on you.
"Why are they here so early?" He's pulling his trousers on.
Schuldig shrugs. "Dunno. Did you wrap the gifts for Farfarello?"
Crawford squints at himself in the mirror as he attempts to button his shirt.

"He prefers to be called 'Jei' now."

"Whatever. Answer my question."
"I left that to you."
Schuldig crosses the room and wraps his arms around Crawford's waist.
"You shouldn't leave that shit to me," he purrs in Crawford's ear, batting the precognitive's hands away as he redoes the buttons Crawford has a problem seeing. "You know I'll forget."
"Which is why I wrapped them after you went to sleep."

Schuldig rests his head on Crawford's shoulder. "You sneaky bastard." He lightly bites Crawford's ear lobe.
Crawford smirks, chuckles slightly. "That's what you love about me, isn't it?"
"Please. You know all I like is the sex."
"Is that why you're helping me button my shirt?"
Schuldig pulls away, runs a hand through his hair. "I don't want you looking disheveled. What would Nagi think?"
Crawford turns, grabs Schuldig's shoulder. "He would think I had too much to drink." He kisses Schuldig. "What would I do without you?"
Schuldig pulls away again, moves towards the bedside table where Crawford's spectacles lay. He hands them to Crawford.
"The same shit you always do."

-x-

"What do you want for Christmas? Crawford wants to know."
Nagi shrugs. "I can always use a new laptop."
Schuldig snorts as he reclines back on the sofa, cigarette in between his lips.
"Guess Takatori doesn't pay that handsomely."
Nagi's mouth presses into a straight line. "Unlike you, I've been planning a wedding, and that requires quite a bit of money."
"I don't have anyone to marry, and even if I did, marriage is not for someone like myself. I can't stick with the same person for all of eternity."
"Is that why you and Crawford-san have lived together for eight years now?" Tot asks innocently. Nagi stifles a laugh, and Schuldig nearly swallows his cigarette.
"Where is Crawford, anyway?" Nagi asks after sipping at some tea, now lukewarm from his neglecting it.
Schuldig shrugs. "Probably out to our financial advisor advising him on what to do with our money." He puffs on his cigarette, arms cradling his head on the arm rest. "I don't know why he bothers—what's the point in paying this guy exorbitant amounts of money so he can tell us what to do with our money, when Crawford tells himwhat to do anyway?"

Tot places her tea back down the saucer, straightens out the skirt of her dress, and looks at the floor.
"I've been told accountants are control freaks when it comes to their own money."
Accountants? Schuldig questioned Nagi.
You mean that's not what Crawford does now?
Nagichen... Crawford and I are still bodyguards.
So where did I get—

The door slams, and there is Crawford, seemingly out of breath, with a briefcase in his hand.
"Getting too old to use the stairs, ja?"
Crawford retreats into his room without a word to anyone. Nagi looks to Schuldig; Tot's eyes trail after Crawford.
Schuldig shrugs. "Means the stocks aren't looking too good. He probably had to sell at a loss or something." He fidgets, conflicted over whether to 'entertain' the guests as a good host does, or to go after Crawford and make sure he's not putting a gun in his mouth.
Schuldig drops his cigarette into the ash tray and, like a cat, stalks off in search of Crawford.

-x-

"Don't bother knocking," comes a voice from the other side of the door, right as Schuldig lifts his knuckles to knock.
"Is everything all right?" Schuldig opens the door.
"Unless you want to spoil your Christmas present, I suggest you leave."
Schuldig stands in the doorway still, contemplating the threat still hanging in the air. Crawford's on the floor by the bed, between it and the desk, and Schuldig has no idea why. He could try browsing through Crawford's mind for what's really going on, but Crawford is the only one whose privacy he respects enough to not go prying through.
Softly, "Are you okay?"
A pregnant pause, then, "Everything is fine," comes from the other side of the bed. "Tell Nagi and Nanami that I will be out in an hour or so."

Schuldig shuts the door behind him and pads on back to the living room, where he acts as if nothing happened.
"He's weeping gently over his stock portfolio," Schuldig says with ease.
"Crawford-san needs to get a girlfriend," observes Tot, and Nagi gives her a look.
"The problem with that is he'd need a girl who can put up with him," says Schuldig, assuming his previous position on the couch. "And the only one who's willing to put up with his shit is me."

Schuldig doesn't even try to prevent either of them from misconstruing his words.