The Five Days of Schwarz

Finale

The sun hasn't risen yet, which provides Crawford ample opportunity to place all the remaining presents under the tree, giving the little ones the impression that Santa Claus has come. Plus everyone is asleep, so Crawford doesn't have to worry about being spotted.

That is, Crawford thought everyone was asleep. Upon turning on the tree, Crawford spots a very familiar red head kneeling underneath the tree in absolutely nothing. Nothing except for some red ribbon tied in some rather strategic locations. Crawford has to give Schuldig credit - he is surprised.
"Knew you'd be up this early." His voice is low, the look on his face suggestive, and Crawford is finding his sleep pants are way too tight.
"What are you doing?" Crawford whispers.
"Waiting for you to unwrap your present."
Crawford kneels down in front of Schuldig and carefully undoes the ribbon.

"You do realise I was joking when I said I wanted you for Christmas, right?"
Schuldig purrs. "That's not all of your present."
Crawford raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.
"The rest will come later though." Schuldig spots the small box with his name on it still in Crawford's hand. "What's that?"
"A Christmas present."
"For?"
Crawford sighs. He's barely gotten any sleep. "You."
Schuldig leans closer. "Can I open it?"
Crawford offers it to him. "Go ahead. It's Christmas anyway."

Schuldig gets up and sits on the couch, seemingly forgetting he's naked. Crawford sits next to him, his face a mask of calmness even though his mind is going five hundred miles a minute. There's nothing remarkable about the box, and Schuldig opens it to find some sort of jewelry box inside. In the dark, it's hard to tell what kind of jewelry piece it's made for. He pushes the lid open, and even though the light is dim, he can still make out what's inside.
"It's a ring." Schuldig's voice is laced with disbelief. He looks from the ring to Crawford. "You got me a ring."
Crawford takes the box and the ring from Schuldig, and after removing the ring from its casing, offers it to Schuldig.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Crawford turns the light on, the one closest to them, and moves the ring so Schuldig can see the inside of the band.
"Read it."

I'm a fool.

Schuldig blinks, realisation dawning on him. That night a few months ago, after they returned from Japan to visit Nagi...

"I'm a fool." Crawford's well put together sentence comes out in a whisper against Schuldig's lips.

At first, Schuldig doesn't understand what Crawford means as he pulls away from him, looks at him questioningly.

"A fool?"

Crawford lies back down and waits. Waits for Schuldig to understand. He stares and his eyes seem to penetrate the darkness, and Schuldig stares back, hoping the answer will just magically appear in front of his eyes.

And then, Schuldig laughs. It starts out slowly, like a small chuckle, and accelerates quickly to actual, wholesome laughter.

"Brad Crawford is a fool."

"Dear God," breathes Schuldig. "You really are a fool."
"You have something for me as well," says Crawford. "Don't deny it."
Schuldig scoffs. "Okay, fine." He shoves a hastily wrapped gift into Crawford's hands. "Happy now?"
Crawford opens it and smiles, actually smiles, which freaks Schuldig out just a bit.
"What was it you said that night? 'Guess that means we can be fools together then'?"
Schuldig runs a hand through his hair. "I knew that was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Last time I get drunk on my birthday."

Crawford kisses Schuldig, and Schuldig doesn't protest when Crawford slips the ring onto his finger before slipping Schuldig's present onto his own.

Then, of course, Schuldig turns out the light and shoves Crawford against the back of the couch.
"Time for part three of your present, Brad," Schuldig purrs as he deftly undoes Crawford's pants before kneeling down in between Crawford's legs.

Crawford decides, as his fingers grip Schuldig's hair, that Christmas is his favourite holiday.

-x-

"Everyone stop clamouring around the tree and let Santa Crawford give out the gifts, okay?" Schuldig hasn't had enough eggnog in his system to deal with this shit, he thinks, and snuggles into the warmth of his jacket. For some reason, Nagi has to have the windows open, for he feels 'stifled'.
I'll show him stifled...
Crawford glares. Santa Crawford?
Shut up, the kids enjoy it.
"Do me first," says Nagi. "I'm the youngest of the team."
Schuldig nearly snorts his eggnog.
"Nagi-kun," Tot scolds, "you've had too much to drink..."
"Aww, let the kid enjoy it for once," interrupts Schuldig, as he elbows Nagi in the side. "Oi, Brad! Give it to Nagi first."

As Crawford goes about doling out presents to Nagi and Tot (and two of Farfarello's children so they'd stop shrieking like banshees), Schuldig tries to ignore the thoughts swirling around him basically all asking did he just call Crawford 'Brad'?
Nagi rips into his present and sees the word TOSHIBA staring up at him from underneath the wrapping paper. He looks like he's just won the lottery.
"What about Schuldig-san? Doesn't he get anything?"
Crawford stares at Schuldig.
Do something, Schuldig says.

Crawford pulls something out of his suit jacket pocket, something wrapped in what appears to be a handkerchief. He hands it to Schuldig without a word.
Open it and pretend to be surprised.
Schuldig undoes the handkerchief and behold! a shiny new Glock was in his hand, emblazoned with 110470187 - Oracle on the side of the barrel. Schuldig angles it so no one can see the writing on it.
"You know me so well, but perhaps we shouldn't shop at the same places." Schuldig reaches inside his jacket and forks over his gun to Crawford.
"Well, a gun is practical," says Crawford, as he examines - or pretends to examine - the Desert Eagle pistol engraved with 032775089 - Schuldig in the same place as Crawford's.
"You guys need to think of something new to give to each other." Farfarello idly plays around with a custom made knife his wife bought for him, from her and the children.
"Jei, honey," coos Sally, "you ask for the same thing every year too."
"So does Nagi," remarks Schuldig. "God, we're all really that boring, aren't we?"

Crawford chuckles. "It's better than an ugly sweater from Grandmother."
"Or that really heartfelt card from your mother," Schuldig adds. "Or a ring from your significant other."

Everyone stares at Schuldig.
"What? Marriage is so overrated these days. Everyone does it. There's nothing special about it anymore."
Smooth recovery, Schuldig.
Danke, Oracle. That means a lot coming from you of all people.
"Who wants more eggnog?"
Nagi's glass is the first to be shoved in Schuldig's face.

I didn't know you were such a big drinker.

I'm not. I just want to forget everything that happened tonight.

Author's Note: Thus concludes the Five Days of Schwarz! I hope you all have a very merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/winter solstice/holiday and a happy and healthy new year. See you guys in 2012!