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Disclaimer: I do not own The Host or any of its characters; they belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer. I do however, own the plot.
Wanda POV
Every single muscle immediately froze up when I heard the voice behind me. I knew that I was trapped and that I probably wouldn't make it out of whatever was going to happen to me next; the little pill was inside the Jeep. They would know as soon as I turned around who I was, and I'd be shipped off of the planet right away, letting the Healers put another soul inside of Pet's body, which would essentially wipe out the caves. Sunny could make it out all right, but there would be no hope for Melanie in the car still.
The hands on my arms started to push and pull me at the same time and I tried to resist; they wanted me to turn around and I wasn't ready to do that. Once I did I would be betraying every single person back home. The hands were much stronger than I was though and I stumbled when they pushed particularly hard and ended up turning around.
I had plenty of time to scream, I supposed and I thought that it was weird that Sunny hadn't yelled out or anything. I kept my eyes closed, waiting for what was going to happen next, but I wasn't expecting what did happen at all.
Instead of being taken away or something, I felt the hands leave my arms and felt a pair of strong arms embracing me. My eyes flew open at once and I started pushing the person away; I couldn't see their face and I was still slight freaking out.
"Wanda, it's me," Ian's voice said in my ear and I relaxed. After a few seconds I tensed up again though; why was he out of the caves?
"Wanda, are you okay? Is everything all right?" he asked, pushing me away from him slightly and looked me right in the eyes.
"Everything's okay Ian," I answered, smiling a little bit.
"Good. Let's go," he said, taking my hand in his and started leading me away from the Jeep.
"Wait. Where are we going?" I asked, slightly panicking at the fact that we were leaving the Jeep unattended.
"I'm taking you back home right now," he said, his voice firm and I knew that he wasn't okay about something.
"What about the Jeep though?" I asked, trying to stop, but he kept pulling me along; he was much stronger than me.
"Jared and Kyle will take it back. Sunny and Melanie will be fine. You and I are taking the car back right now. I don't want to be out here any longer," he said and I sighed, continuing to follow him.
"I hate to ask you this, but can you drive us out of the city?" I was nodding before he'd even asked me the real question. Ian shook his head and got in the passenger side while I got in behind the wheel.
"We will be switching when I say so," he told me, clicking his seatbelt on as I put the car into drive and pulled away from the curb.
As I drove by the Jeep, I noticed Sunny and Kyle standing in the parking lot beside the car and they were talking about something. Kyle looked around him twice in the small amount of time that it took me to creep by them and Sunny gave me a smile. I returned a little one and pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
Ian didn't speak to me the whole way through the city and I kept looking over at him to see if he was asleep or not. To any other person he would have seemed as calm as ever, but I knew better; I could tell by the slight look on his face that he was mad.
"Ian," I whispered to him, biting my bottom lip and looking at him once again. "Is everything all right?"
He didn't answer me and instead looked out his window, turning his face away from me. I sighed and merged onto the highway heading right out of the city. We continued driving along until he finally spoke to me.
"Pull over," he muttered but since it was so quiet in the car I heard him loud and clear. Rather than telling him that it was okay if I drove the whole way back, I pulled over and he was out of the car almost as soon as I'd put the car in park.
Ian was quickly over at my side and opening up the door before I had even got my seatbelt off. I took it off and slid over the centre console, falling slightly into the passenger seat as he got in behind the wheel and put the car in drive.
"You scared the hell out of me," Ian said and I breathed a sigh of relief; I didn't think that I could take the silent treatment from him anymore. I craved the sound of his voice and when he didn't speak to me it was almost the worst form of torture from him, almost; it was third to being strangled and hated by him, by far.
"Why were you out of the caves? I left you doing the laundry or something," Ian said, his voice hardening and I knew that I had to start explaining or he'd probably get really mad.
"It wasn't my idea at all and I really had no choice in the matter. Melanie essentially dragged me from the caves and out to the Jeep and then blackmailed me into going into the store with Sunny. I really didn't want to do it Ian, I swear to you. I wanted to turn around and go back right away; even before we'd gotten started, but she asked me to do this one thing for her and..."
"And you can't say no. You can never say no," Ian finished my sentence and I fell silent beside him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking down at my hands that were clasped in my lap.
"I'm not mad at you," Ian responded sighing, but I still kept my head down. "I'm really not Wanda. I'll admit that you freaked the hell out of me when I saw you out there, but I do understand. I just don't like how you can never say 'no' to anyone."
"Then why are you being so quiet and everything?" I asked gently.
"Because I thought that you were somewhere safe and sound and then I randomly found you outside of a store while we were sitting there deciding if we should get more supplies or not. That's why I was initially mad; it wasn't at you, just the situation and everything."
"Oh," I replied and felt the car bump slightly as we got off of the highway and onto the dirt of the desert. Ian got out to attach the small tarp to the back of the car and was back in the car very quickly. They had that down to an art, but I still hadn't mastered it just yet.
"So what were you guys out there for?" I asked once he'd gotten back into the car and started driving out into the desert.
"Some small supplies. Doc wanted another box of Heal just in case; he seems to be going through it at a rapid pace and Jeb wanted to make sure that we had enough just in case," he was being very cryptic and I wasn't a fan of that.
"Just in case of what?" I asked, turning in me seat so that I was facing him. Ian looked over at me and took my hand in his, giving it a light squeeze.
"He's just afraid that once we get people up on ladders cleaning the mirrors that there might be a few more accidents than normal, that's all."
He was lying. Ian wouldn't look at me for a few moments after he gave that excuse and I frowned, not understanding why he would feel the need to lie to me again. After all that we had been through I would have thought that he trusted me enough, but apparently not. Sitting in the car wasn't the right time or place for that conversation; it would have to wait until we were back inside the caves and not out in the open.
"So what were you guys out there for anyway? I didn't get a good look at the store that you were in," Ian asked, smiling widely at me.
"A wedding dress for Mel," I replied simply and he nodded.
"Did you find one?"
"Yeah we found a really pretty one for her. She wanted me to go with them because I knew what her dream dress looked like from when I was inside her head and we needed Sunny for a model. Plus, having two souls in a store like that is way better than just one; it would have raised a lot of questions. We had to make up some story about how Sunny was still tracking down her 'mother' but she'd be there in time for the wedding," I explained and Ian chuckled.
"I still don't know how you guys get away with lying to them like that. You're horrible liars," he said and I stuck my tongue out at him, which made him laugh harder.
"Who does that?" he said, looking over at me and I shrugged.
"I do I suppose," I answered and he laughed again. Hearing the sound of Ian's laughter was very magical to me; it made me feel better in an instant and it didn't hurt that I loved to hear the sound of it either.
"I don't think I've had anyone stick their tongue out at me like that since like, grade school or something," he said, and I could tell that his mind was miles away. "I remember that in grade two I told this girl that I liked her and she stuck her tongue out at me, told me I was 'icky' and ran away from me. That was probably the last time."
As Ian reminisced about that time in his life I couldn't help but to feel a pang of jealousy shoot through my chest. I told myself that it was stupid to feel that way; he like that girl back when he was eight years old, but the thought of him liking someone else made me feel a little insecure about our relationship. I knew that it wasn't rational to think like that; surely he'd had girlfriends back before everything had happened and everything. I was sure that I wasn't the first person that he'd had feelings for before in his life, but I supposed that the reason I felt so strongly about it was because I had never had feelings like that for anybody else on any of the planets I'd been on. I sat there and listened to him laughing as I thought about all of that.
"In all seriousness though, how did being in that store affect you?" Ian asked once he'd calmed down a little bit.
"What do you mean?"
"Like, were you happy to be in there and shopping for her like that?"
"Well, yeah, I guess it did," I responded, shrugging a little bit. "I mean, watching Sunny dress up and everything was pretty amusing to watch. Especially since the girl with us didn't exactly pick out the most wonderful dresses in the world."
"Sounds like it was fun for you two," Ian commented, giving my hand a light squeeze.
"I guess. I think that it was nice because I kind of forgot all about the situation that we're all in. I felt like a normal...well, not human because I will never be... but you know? Obviously it wasn't normal at all and everything, but it just... it was kind of an...escape. That's not the right..."
"Because you could forget about absolutely everything?" Ian asked, his voice a little harder than before.
"Well, yes, but..."
"Because you could forget about me and be a normal soul like you should have been?" Ian interrupted me and I turned to him, frowning and shaking my head.
"Ian. No, I..."
"Can you run inside while I get someone to unload?" he cut me off again and I noticed that we were in the rocky cover by the caves and I nodded my head, but I wasn't ready to be done with our conversation.
"We can talk when we get back to the room, okay? I want to finish this, but we can't do it while we're unloading and stuff." He could probably see the look of resistance on my face as he quickly started talking again.
"Look, I'll get someone else to take the car back to the rockslide; it'll be okay until I find someone to do that but please Wanda?"
"Fine," I agreed, letting go of his hand to take off my seatbelt and he was by my car door opening it up for me in an instant.
"Thank you," he said, smiling at me and I half-returned it, but I started walking towards the truck, my mind running a mile a minute with the endless questions that were swimming around in it.
I grabbed a larger box of Heal, which Ian took from me and replaced with a smaller one, and headed towards the entrance. I ducked inside and was met by a few people who seemed to be just milling around the doorway, apparently waiting for us to return as they rushed forwards as I entered with Ian close behind me.
"Where is everybody?" Jeb immediately asked. "Aaron, take that box from Wanda or Ian and I want answers before you two move again."
Aaron followed Jeb's instructions and took the box from me while Brandt took the stuff from Ian's hands and disappeared down the hallway. I was nearly knocked over then by something that had run directly into me. I could tell by the person's overall size that it was Jamie and I tentatively wrapped my arms around him.
"Are you okay?" I asked gently and he shook his head, backing away from me.
"Where were you? I was looking for you and Mel and you were gone!" he said.
It was interesting to hear Jamie talk because his voice had started dropping which I was told was a normal part of a male's development, but it still shook me as funny when he talked. I just wasn't used to hearing it so low. Mel, Jared and Ian liked to make fun of him when it fluctuated between being high and low, but I always stood up for him.
"Mel, Sunny and I went shopping for something. It was all your sister's idea; we really had no say in the matter. I really didn't want to go, but you know her," I explained and I could see Jeb shaking his head out of the corner of my eye.
"Do you have any idea how much fuss that caused around here? The three of you are gone with the boys out already; people were freaking out!" Jeb said, immediately starting to chastise me and I ducked my head.
"It was so dangerous for the three of you to just leave like that. I thought that something had seriously happened and put everyone on red alert! They're all ready to leave at a moment's notice, and I know for a fact that many of them are not happy about this. Imagine my surprise when I went to go and check on how the laundry was going and I just find a basket down there unattended!" Jeb continued to half yell at me and I could feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall at all.
"Hey! There's no need to be yelling at Wanda because of this. If you've got to tell anyone off, it should be your niece; she's the one who had the brilliant idea in the first place," Ian interjected and I could hear his footsteps echo off of the walls around us before I felt his arm wrap around my stomach and it pulled me back slightly until I was pressed up against him.
"I was just telling her about the consequences of their actions, that's all," Jeb said defending himself and I nodded in agreement to his defence.
"Don't you think that Wanda of all people knows what the consequences would be?" Ian asked and no one answered his question; his words just seemed to hang in the air around us. When it remained silent until we could hear more footsteps coming towards us, Ian backed the two of us up a step and I had no choice but to follow him.
"Right, are we done here?" he asked and I looked up to see Jeb nod and Jamie walk towards the door, presumably to get more of the boxes from the car. "Good. The car still has stuff in it and then it needs to be taken back to the rockslide. Can I trust that you'll get someone to do that for me?"
"Sure thing, Ian" Jeb responded, but I could tell that he wasn't done with the conversation or the rant that he seemed to be on.
"Come on, Wanda," Ian whispered in my ear and started leading me away. He let his arm slide out from where it was wrapped around me and he took my hand in his instead.
When we reached the main plaza I could make out the noise of a bunch of people talking and figured that it was the place that Jeb had everyone waiting in case they had to leave at a moment's notice. We entered the space and they all fell silent and I could feel everyone's eyes on us.
"You can all go back to what you were doing before, everything is fine," Ian addressed everyone, his voice echoing around the large space.
"Says who? Jebediah wanted us all here so that we could leave quickly!" Maggie called out from within the crowd of people. I knew it was her voice, even though she wasn't visible to me.
"Yeah well I just talked to Jeb and he said that you can all relax," Ian responded, tugging on my hand a little so that we could continue walking. I followed behind him as we left the now grumbling crowd behind us as they dispersed to wherever they wanted to go.
"You okay Wanda?" Ian asked me once we were away from the majority of people and just about to enter the tube that lead to the spider web of sleeping hallways.
"I'm fine Ian. Are you okay?" I responded, nodding up at Ian and giving him a small smile.
"Of course I am. But I wasn't the one that Jeb was yelling at out there," he said and I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'm fine."
"You didn't seem to be so fine when he was doing that," he said, leading me down the hall towards his room.
"Because I guess I didn't expect him to really yell at me like that. But I get it. It scared him and everyone else, and that was partly my fault for leaving with them," I said, firmly believing that.
"Are you kidding me? You don't ever deserve to be treated like that, no matter what happens!" Ian said incredulously. I frowned a little bit before I realized that he obviously hadn't noticed how people were really treating me around the caves or he would have made a fuss about that too.
"It's nothing Ian."
"It is not nothing," he said a bit harshly, stopping us in the middle of the way to look right down at me. I couldn't help but to meet his gaze with one of my own; silver meeting blue and felt a little intimidated by him.
"Ian..."
"Don't try and brush me off, I won't let that happen. If I need to keep standing up for you again and again I will. I definitely will. But you need to start seeing that you shouldn't be bullied around like that by him or Melanie or anybody. You're stronger than that, Wanda," he said to me, tucking a stray piece of golden hair behind my ear. "I know that you are. You're one of the strongest people that I've met before."
At his words I started shaking my head and broke my gaze from his, looking down at the floor.
"What?" he asked and I could see his shoes take a step closer to me. I noticed that they were getting a little ratty; I would have to get him a new pair the next time that I was out.
"I'm not strong. You guys are. You've all survived through everything that you have been through. That's something that I can't say. I just went along my merry old way and didn't think anything about my life or what we were doing to the species that we took over. So it's you who are the strong ones," I said and he pulled me forwards again in silence until he reached the doors.
Ian let go of my hand to push the door aside and then motioned for me to go first into the room. I entered and stood awkwardly in the entranceway; even though I had been living in there with him, I still felt as though I was intruding on his space, though that wasn't the case at all. Ian sighed after he'd put the door back in place and gave me a sad smile.
"Sit down or something. I hate it when you act like an outsider in here. This is your room too, I want you to feel at home," he said gently and I nodded, settling down on the edge of the bed while he came to sit beside me.
"Wanda, you really don't see yourself clearly, do you? Even after all this time with us, you still don't see how strong you are?"
"Well, I just think that you all have been through way more than I ever have; even though I'm very much older than you and have experienced a lot more. Technically I'm still a baby on this planet compared to the rest of you. So no, I don't think that I'm strong at all," I responded, focusing on a little crack in the floor as I spoke.
"It takes ones hell of a strong creature to stand up and resist against their own kind," Ian pointed out and I sighed before I lay back on the bed. I stared up at a crack in the ceiling, but all I could see was the black night sky above; there wasn't even a star in that little space that I could look at.
"What, you don't think so?" he asked and I felt the mattress shift with him as he lay beside me and the distribution of weight made the bed flop a little bit.
I glanced to my right and saw him looking down on me from where he was positioned with his left elbow propped up and his head resting on the same hand.
"It's not the same," I finally answered him, turning my head back up to the ceiling above.
"I beg to differ," he scoffed and I shrugged, not willing to continue that conversation. I knew that it was sometimes better to let him believe what he wanted and not always contradict everything; it never got us very far anyways.
A certain stillness fell upon us then until I felt Ian's hand start to sweep through my hair and it felt good to me; Pet had always enjoyed when Cloud Spinner would play with her hair and it was a trait of hers that I enjoyed as well. There was just something calming about the action. Granted, it didn't calm me nearly as much as when Ian touched the scar on the back of my neck, but just having any part of him touching me did the trick nearly every time.
"Wanda about earlier... I know that you probably won't want to talk about it, but I have to know," Ian started to say before sighing heavily and I instantly knew what he wanted to talk about.
"Did you really mean it when you said that you liked being able to forget everything?" I could hear the sadness in his voice and though it wasn't very prominent in his words, I knew that it was the undertone that drove him to ask me that.
"Ian," I breathed, rolling over onto my right side so that I could look right at him and try to make him understand what I really meant.
"I didn't... I mean..."I paused for a second to collect my thoughts so that they didn't come out all jumbled and make him even more confused.
"What I mean to say is that yes, I liked that I was able to forget; but the feeling only lasted for a moment or two at the most. The rest of the time I was nearly paralyzed in terror at the fact that Melanie was out in the Jeep and could have been discovered at any moment. I was also concerned for you as well," I said, trying to make him grasp what I was saying.
"Why?" he enquired and reached his right hand out to brush it through my hair again. "Why would you be concerned for me?"
"Because we had just up and left the caves. I was worried that you would discover that I was missing and then do something rash and stupid and get yourself hurt or worse in the process. I tried so desperately to speed along the appointment to get back as fast as possible Ian, I really did."
I ended up pleading with him because I could see that he still wasn't totally convinced with what I was trying to convey to him. I knew that he wouldn't demand any more information than I would willingly give him, and I could see the exact effect that my earlier words had on him and I didn't like that one bit.
"Ian, I could never forget about you. You're a very, very important part of my life and it would take a whole lot more than just going out and shopping with Sunny for an hour to make me stop thinking about you. And although it was nice to pretend that I was 'normal'," I used air quotes with my left hand as my right was trapped under my body. "It was just that; I was pretending. I could never go back to that life, not now, not ever and I hope that you realize that. All of you down here have had a profound impact on me and I don't ever want it to change."
Ian appeared to be digesting my words as he got sort of a faraway look in his eyes before he sat up abruptly and turned to help me up as well. Once I was upright he twisted his entire body so that it was facing mine, with his right foot flat on the floor and the left one curled in front of him.
"Are you sure you would never want to leave this place?"
"I could never leave you," I said fiercely before realizing that it had happened to us twice before. "I will never leave you ever again," I reconciled, fixing my words to get the point across.
"I believe you," he whispered gently and I could feel his breath softly fan across my cheek as he leaned closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulder to cup the back of my head while scooting a little nearer to me.
"But just so you know, if you ever get tired of me or you want out of our relationship, please just tell me and I'll let you go. I won't hold you back from that, ever."
"I could never get tired of you, Ian," I said, offended that he would think that I would just up and leave like that. "I believe that our souls are intertwined and that we're meant to be together, if that makes sense. I never want to leave your side ever again. But just so you know, if you ever get bored, or tired of defending me or sticking by me, you're free to go as well."
"I'm not going anywhere," Ian told me in a firm voice, cupping my cheeks in both of his palms. His hands still nearly covered my entire face and it felt like there was a fire burning just under the skin where he touched me, but I liked it. I liked it a lot.
Ian smiled broadly at me and I returned the simple gesture and before I knew what was happening he had leaned in close to me and kissed my left cheek. His breath tickled my ear as he whispered,
"I'm sorry that I accused you of that before, it was wrong of me."
"It was my fault. I worded the explanation badly," I said and he chuckled, the sound making my insides squirm.
"Please stop trying to blame yourself, Wanda. We were having a good time," Ian teased and I shook my head back and forth, gently pulling his face away from mine so that I could look at him. "What, we weren't?"
"How come you don't kiss me?" I asked just before my face flushed scarlet with a very different kind of heat.
"What do you mean, I just kissed your cheek?" Ian inquired with a slight frown creasing his brow while I reached up to smooth it out with my fingers.
"No, I mean like really kiss me," I attempted to make it clear to him what I meant, even if it was only embarrassing me further.
"Oh," he said simply and I nodded, looking away from him.
"It's okay, I was just wondering..." I trailed off as he interrupted me.
"Please don't be shy about it, I'm glad that you asked," Ian informed me and I could detect the smile in his voice even though I wasn't looking in his direction at all.
A few seconds later I felt his calloused fingers under my chin lifting it up with a gentle force and I had to comply. I peeked up at him then and noticed that he was indeed smiling like a loon and his face was also getting closer to mine. On instinct, my stomach began doing somersaults inside like it always did when we got that close together, and my heart sped up to about a million beats a second, the blood pounding through my veins.
"To be quite honest with you," he began, whispering to me and touching our noses together. "I was trying to give you some space after what had happened. I didn't want to rush you into anything that you wouldn't be comfortable with, that was all."
"It's fine Ian," I whispered back.
"Good," he murmured just prior to dipping his head down a tiny bit and capturing my lips with his.
At first I was surprised that he'd done it so soon after I'd brought the subject up, but then I closed my eyes and began to return his kiss. I was vaguely aware of his hands being on my back and neck, gently tilting my head back a bit, but Ian's mere presence consumed me so much that I didn't even know my own name for sure anymore. I had been waiting for that moment for awhile and I wanted to cherish it as it just proved that we were taking another step in the right direction.
The slow fire that had been building inside of me for all the time that I had known Ian had finally ignited into something bigger and better with that one kiss. It was just the same as that gasoline to a lighter feeling that Mel got when she was with Jared and I found that it completely filled me up inside.
Several moments later, much to my dismay Ian broke his lips from mine and proceeded to place tiny kisses all over my face; showering my eyelids with gentle caresses before he laid one more kiss on my waiting lips. I let that one linger a bit longer before it became absolutely necessary for us to breathe.
He pulled his face away from mine just a tiny bit and as I panted for air I noticed that somehow I had become seated on his lap and had both of my hands wrapped in his hair. I felt a little self-conscious about that, but I knew that none of it mattered the moment that I looked into Ian's eyes. I realized then that he had felt the same thing that I had and I couldn't resist but to place another kiss on his lips. I understood then that we would be just fine.
A/N: All right. School is done. Tryouts for skating are done. Now all I have to do is work, but I've got the next week off anyways, so I'll have the third chapter out on Sunday!
Review! : )