Chapter Two: We Have Forgotten How it Used to Be

"Mom, can Sharon stay the night?" Angela asked as the two piled into the house with the awkward silence still following them.

" Sharon? Sure honey." Ms. Chase answered happy not to be hearing Rayanne's name mentioned so much in the house. She and her husband exchanged looks of surprise while the two teenage girls rushed up the steps.

"Do you remember where everything is? I know it's been a while..." Angela began feeling this strong urge to be a friend to Sharon, something she hadn't felt in a while.

"I remember Angela." Sharon sighed, walking into Angela's room and trying to find a place for her purse, but there was stuff everywhere, literally. Sharon started to ask her something, but realized that she was the only one who had walked into the bedroom.

"Okay." She muttered to herself looking around. This was not the Angela she remembered. Sharon found herself observing the contents of the room very closely.

Plaid button-down shirts, old fliers from the club they had just been to, … a Nirvana CD. Sharon felt like she had just entered an alternative universe. It sort of was. Neither of them where the sweet little girls they had been not too long again. Life had been—

"Here." Angela tossed a long t-shirt to Sharon. "For you to sleep in."

Sharon nodded, watching Angela maneuver seamlessly about the messy room as she waited until the coast was clear. She didn't want Angela to know, or to ask things.

This was Sharon's problem. "Can you knock before you come in … not trying to be bossy or anything, but I heard a few things about you and Rayanne together and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I like boys."

Angela just nodded and scurried out of the room, closing the door with a force that shook the room, just slightly, but enough so that Sharon knew that Angela was less than thrilled.

Sharon shrugged. So what if she had made a snooty comment? She grabbed the night shirt in her hands, carefully removing her jumper dress. Pausing before putting on the pajamas, Sharon couldn't help but look at it. It made her nauseous to think about it and it was growing. To know that there was something growing inside of her that she couldn't stop drove Sharon insane.

A little Sharon and Bobby. How disgusting. She had to keep this secret as long as possible. Maybe she would be one of those girls that never looked pregnant. No one would have to know.

Her stomach barely looked any bigger and at least three months had passed. Sharon had this urge to touch it, to see if it was real or if she had just been imagining it. That kept happening and she hated it, she wouldn't touch it. Sharon wouldn't.

"You won't win." She whispered down to her silent belly, which seemed to smile in its eerie silence. "Shut up!" Sharon yelled her voice echoing in the room. She needed to get out of this reality and quick.

Sitting on the bed dolefully, nearly jumping up from the severe pain she was feeling on her lower back. Sharon had pushed it from her mind, the way Bobby had thrust her against the wall. Sometimes he got carried away.

"Knock knock. You done?" Angela's annoyed voice asked as Sharon tossed the shirt over her head.

"Sure." She answered after a short pause.

"You can sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the floor." Angela muttered.

"No, it's yours. What I said before was so like … not cool. We can share. Just like we used to." Sharon answered as Angela shrugged, sliding onto the left side of the bed.

"You know there's like no room, right?" Angela asked, feeling constrained to the one spot she had placed her body in.

"Can I ask you something Angela … like something real?" Sharon wondered, her mind racing like crazy.

"As long as I don't have to answer it."

"Are you still into Jordan Caralano?" Sharon finally asked after a long pause. "You were at his music thing tonight and that's totally not your scene."

"I enjoy the music."

"Oh. It's just … one of my friends, you know Catalina, is like really into him and she wanted me to know out if he's seeing anyone." Sharon continued.

"We're not together." Angela answered emotionlessly, hiding it in her voice and keeping it all bottled up inside.

"But are you into him?"

"Jordan Catalano is an ass. He's no good for me and we're like from completely different sides of the … thing … You know what I mean Sharon. No and no. Stop asking me about him. I'm going to sleep."

By the time school rolled around again on Monday morning, it was as though the entire weekend didn't even happen, like Sharon didn't stay over and they didn't have a reconnection, well … almost. Let's just say, Sharon didn't waste any time getting back to normal.

Angela watched her with Bobby who had her pulled so close to him that it looked like a death grip. Sharon didn't seem to mind though. She also didn't seem to notice Angela who had literally saved her butt that weekend.

Oh well, such was life. Angela turned her attention back to her chipped navy blue painted locker that she once shared with Rayanne, but now had the luxury of having to split with no one.

It did make the locker more spacious, a little less messy, and it didn't have that booze, cigarette smell that was synonymous to Rayanne Graff, but it was all too reminiscent of that boring cute blonde girl that had no clue how to adjust to high school.

And even now she still had that same lost little doe look. The red hair had been growing out and Angela thought it was for the best, but now that her edgy façade was fading, Angela wanted more.

She needed to find out who she was and obviously, this was a task that was going to be done solo. No wingmen of any kind to aid her in the journey. That was alright. Angela still had her petty high school obsessions and now her mom was on her back about the SATs and which college she wanted to go to.

Angela had plenty to occupy her thoughts, but nothing raced through her mind more than Jordan. "Hey." She mouthed as he gazed at her and smiled.

Angela started to say something else until she noticed an athletic Indian girl brush past her.

"Hey you." Jordan greeted her with the same smile he had given Angela. She cowered away, leaning on the nearest locker, trying to pretend like she wasn't watching their every move.

The girl turned her back to Angela so that she could no longer see what they were doing or hear what they were saying, but even an idiot could see the on-going flirtation.

Now, Angela was really losing it inside. She knew that there was someone there watching, someone who had the same questions as Sharon, who just wanted to know the real deal and Jordan.

At that moment, Angela wanted to be invisible. She was already feeling invisible, but everyone could see her waiting around in the corner for Jordan as he continued to become more and more involved in this girl and less aware of Angela's existence.

Something kept Angela there. It was like holding your breath and waiting for your deepest desires to come true. Angela would have held her breath forever if it meant that Jordan would look at her. He didn't even have to say anything or apologize for what he had done. Angela just wanted him to look at her, see into her mind, her thoughts, and world.

Once Jordan and the girl cleared the hallway Angela could finally breathe again, but now that she could, she didn't want to. She guessed that her dream wouldn't be coming true anytime soon, at least not today.

She roamed through the hallway, aware that the late bell had already rung, but studying the crevices of her shoes so carefully that she didn't even notice the path she was taking. Angela didn't really care.

High school was just like a repeat of a bad day sometimes, and the boring teachers with their boring lectures … like God did they think anyone would care? Like Angela would be thinking about Shakespeare's characterization of Lady Macbeth or Beowulf. God, life could be so like … predictable and mediocre.

Angela's feet dragged even slower at the prospect of having to spend more hours being "educated" so when her shoulder collided with someone else's body, she stumbled backwards. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"No. It was like totally my fault." The person answered causing Angela to look up, wondering who would be so apologetic.

"Hi, Angela." Brian Krakow looked at her. For once, she took the time to look back and noticed how … down he looked, like something had beaten him up or something. He was like wearing the same dorky button-down shirts all tucked in, but his stance was a little less dignified, his posture a little flawed which was more than just a little unlike Brian Krakow.

"Hey Krakow." She sighed in response, looking back down at the ground. Soon after, the second late bell rang. "You're late."

"Yeah … I have a pass." He held up the pink slip in his hand.

"Oh."

"You could like … have it if you wanted." Brian offered, not taking his eyes off of Angela for a second since they bumped into one another. Angela, being trapped in the ongoing circles and scenarios that floated through her brain, could only truly think about one thing, Jordan. "Do you want it?"

"What?" She wondered, distracted.

"My pass. It'll excuse you from being late. Take it." Brian handed Angela the paper.

"Are you trying to buy my friendship Krakow?"

"Do you have many choices … like … you're number of friends is like limited."

"That's a nice way of saying non-existent. Why don't you just keep your pass, wouldn't want to mess up your perfect attendance record or whatever." Angela handed it back.

"Thanks." Brian accepted the paper back, his hand slightly touching hers as the paper transferred back to its previous owner. He paused to watch Angela slowly drudge through the hallways as though she were avoiding her death bed or something.

He watched in admiration and concern, admiration because she was so brave and concern because Brian could see that Angela was all alone and he didn't want her to feel that way. He just wanted to help her in any way possible, whatever he could do, he'd do without hesitation.

(A/N: It's a late update, but please review this chapter anyway. Love and kisses! –NL)