Chapter Eight: I'm in Love with Another Man


Angela felt deceived. Lied to by the mendacious, conniving Sharon Cherjerksi who had somehow convinced Angela to stand in line holding three pregnancy tests and a pack of birth control pills.

When she got to the counter, Sharon had disappeared and the clerk was giving her a weird look. "It's a little late for this, don't you think?" She held up the birth control pills, giving Angela's cheeks ample excuse to turn red.

"Keep the change." She responded pulling out the fifty that Sharon had given her. At least she had done that much.

"So. Did you get it?" Sharon rushed up to Angela since she had apparently been waiting for her outside in the mall area.

"Yeah. Let's go." Angela grumbled, still embarrassed about earlier. Sharon looked at her confused. "If you're looking for change, don't. I give it to the clerk."

"Angela, that was--"

"Totally mortifying. Let's get out of here so you can take these tests."

"Oh no." She shook her head defiantly. "I'm taking them here. If my mom finds out about this … I'm screwed."

"And what if you really are going to be … a mom?"

"I won't." Sharon snapped, but the results of two out of the three tests said otherwise. The two girls bickered over whether or not to buy another test, but they ended up in Sharon's mom's car as far away from the scene of the crime as possible.

"I still have a third chance that I'm not." Sharon said to herself.

"Are you in denial much? Sharon, you are sooo like pregnant, which explains why you've been acting weird."

"I'm not weird, just discontent."

"So what are you going to do? And who's the father? Does he know?"

"Get rid of it. Bobby. No. And don't tell him. No one can know about this but us. You're sworn to secrecy." Sharon responded, using her mom's car phone to make a call about getting rid of the child she had known was growing inside of her for almost three months now.

Angela had gotten away from Sharon's grasp for a little while. This was without a doubt going to be a nightmare and hellish long weekend. Why she had agreed to the co-ex sleepover escaped her mind, but now she was on her way to go see Jordan.

She was going to meet him at Tito's house, where Sharon had dropped her off. Angela waved of her off again on again friend who had just told her that soccer boy would be at the sleepover.

How evil was it that Sharon had extended him an invitation without telling Angela? Now that she was here … she couldn't honestly not invite Jordan, especially because she really wanted him to be there.

Angela jammed her hands into her pockets to hide them from the unmerciful cold and headed towards the garage where she heard music being played.

The scene that unfolded was a mixture of teenage boredom and mild drug use. Surrounded in his usual cloud of smoke was Jordan, who barely acknowledged her and didn't bother to put down the joint.

"Jordan." Angela began, standing in front of her sitting boyfriend. "Babe, come on." She grabbed his free hand as he passed the marijuana onto someone else, but not before popping a pill into his mouth.

"Are you serious right now?" She wondered accusingly, losing more and more of her timid and silent self the more she found out about Jordan.

"What's … going on?" Jordan wondered in his very low, almost inaudible whisper.

"I want you to come out with me." She answered, wrapping her arms around him.

"Oh you do?" He choked out, coming as close to a true laugh that Angela had seen. "Hmm…" He kissed her as Angela tried to ignore the smell transference of weed onto her. "Where do you want to go? To Paris? To I-talia? To the moon … I'm there right now." He handed Angela a pill.

"No." She shook her head firmly. "I want to show you off at Sharon's house. I want to gift you what I promised." Angela finished, hoping that this would get him to start acting normal rather than … high. "Like …Come with me." She urged, engaging in a firey make-out session with him. "I love you Jordan."

"I know." He turned away from her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"So … that's it? You're like not going?"

"I can't. I have … work." Jordan looked down glad that there was a nicer euphemism for what he really was, a prostitute if you wanted to be politically correct, but a whore in everyone else's eyes.

"Work? Get someone to fill in for you." Angela demanded as he started to walk away. She followed.

"You don't understand red … I need the money. I like … can't bail."

"Fine." She pressed her lips into a tight line and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Don't be like that." Jordan popped a piece of gum into his mouth, taking her hands in his. "I promise you. Sunday. Like … whatever you want to do. I'll do it."

"I want to have sex with you." Angela said, but what she really meant was that she wanted to save him. She saw the good in Jordan. He was practically a virtuoso on the guitar, and from what others had been saying he took over the bass whenever Tito bailed on a gig, and had had his share of keeping the rhythm and playing the drums.

"Really?" Jordan smirked, looking Angela up and down. "Fine. Let's do it!" He yelled as Angela reached to cover his mouth.

"I don't want everyone to know." She explained. Jordan nodded and took her off into one of the empty forest lots that surrounded Tito's house.

With no hesitation, he kissed her as though she were his life force and the only way to survive was to keep his body pressed against hers. Angela tried to keep up with what Jordan was doing, but she was quite out of her element when it came to this kind of thing.

It surprised her at how easy it was to fall under his spell and let him mold her, use her the way he wanted to. What happened in the woods that afternoon wasn't what Angela had expected.

They hadn't slept together after all, due to her protests but … something had definitely gone on. Angela just felt differently. When Jordan had detached himself from her, Angela pulled back on the clothing she had lost, buttoning her pants and questioning him with only her eyes.

Jordan evaded her glance, reaching for her hand blindly and taking her to his car. On the way to Sharon's house, Angela tried to find the words to say. She tried to ask him like what exactly had happened.

She only got as far as half-opening her mouth and then shutting it again. When they had parked in front of the Cherjewski's Jordan rubbed her face, carefully and told her that she was his 'rock,' his constant …

and Angela knew that she was just as infatuated with loving him and saving him as figuring him out completely. There was so much more to him than she had ever anticipated and Angela felt that she didn't know him as well as she used to.

Avoiding him didn't work. Bobby must've had some sort of expert radar. Now, Sharon was in her bedroom alone with him and he was angry about something again.

This was the exact reason that the word 'pregnant' would never come out of her mouth in front of him. Sharon simply did not know how he would react or if he would hit now and talk later.

He liked to do that a lot. Deep in the core of her heart, she wanted to break it off. Bobby wasn't good for her. Bobby was going to make this hard. It shouldn't be.

It was just high school and people broke up all the time but … not Sharon and Bobby. She sighed, trying to diffuse the situation. By now, he had thrown her against the wall and had wrapped his arms around her neck.

The pain was unbearable. The panic, inevitable and the air coming in through her windpipes was less and less with each tightening grip. Sharon hit the wall twice as though to tell him to quit it.

She got it. She was sorry.

It was Angela who stopped Bobby this time. "Sorry." She mumbled, her eyes growing wide and Bobby letting go immediately. Angela rushed down the steps to think about what she had just witnessed, while Sharon ran after Angela and Bobby after Sharon.

"Don't go." Bobby's voice boomed as if possessed by some supernatural strength or demon.

"I have to. She might tell." Sharon called back. She caught up Angela, Bobby stood next to her and she proposed, "Go home tonight. Let me talk to her."

When Bobby had given up and left, Angela started to apologize, explaining that she was waiting for soccer boy and got nervous and wanted Sharon's help.

Was it cheating to meet up with him?

"Not if you're doing so only to tell him that you're in love with another man."

"Yeah." Angela nodded.

"Where are you meeting?" Sharon wondered.

"On the patio."

"Well, let's go." She escorted Angela there only to find that 'soccer dude' was a no show. Instead, there was Brian Krakow out on the patio with a few scattered girls who were wrapped up in there own world. The scene made Sharon smile, but Angela cringe. How sweet.

Brian scooped up Angela and kissed her in a way that would make any girl stand up and take notice. It wasn't just a kiss, but many kisses, kisses that Angela didn't remember getting but somehow they were receive. It didn't seem to phase her because Angela wasn't just any girl, she was the unattainable, the dream.

And so of course, Angela didn't feel the same and was disgusted. "You're really sick!" She yelled. "How can you do this knowing how much I love Jordan?"

"Maybe he doesn't love you like you love him like … I love you." Brian spewed, obviously a little tipsy. "Angela. I just like…"

"Don't touch me." She answered bitterly. "Go... No I'm going. I was supposed to meet someone here…" Angela muttered, not relating Brian Krakow to 'soccer dude' because it was just impossible and ridiculous. Soccer guy was smooth, suave, muscular, gorgeous things that Brian Krakow could never be.

"Wait." He cried out desperately. "Take this." He grabbed a folded wad of paper from the pocket of his jeans. "Please read them. All of them. They're for you."

Jordan lay in the hotel room beside Leann, one of his regulars. She had the same small, expressive eyes as her daughter, and almost twice the bust line, but to Jordan she was just a regular.

She was his most generous benefactor and he treated her well.

Tonight they had gone out somewhere, nearly an hour out of the way so that no one would recognize their rendezvous. They had ended up at some hotel, entering separate elevators and not showing that they knew each other until Jordan knocked on the door.

By now it was around 2am and she was sound asleep, curling her body around his. Jordan knew that he should get up and leave. There was no reason to stay but … he was deep in thought.

Thinking about Angela, his number one, his muse. During times like this, the only thing that he could do was write what was on his mind. He grabbed the notebook pad with hotel stationary and wrote out his songs in a way that only he, and other dyslexic people, would understand.

After being deciphered, the lyrics read something like this:

'And I'd give up forever to touch you,

Cause I know that you feel me somehow.

You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be

and I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment.

And all I can breathe is your life.

When sooner or later it's over,

I just don't want to miss you tonight…'


(A/N: Review. Luv. --NL)