Chapter Nine: I May Be Dumb But I'm Not Stupid

Angela woke up in Sharon's house. Still. By that afternoon, the motives for her weird phone call earlier were starting to make since. Sharon had said that she wasn't going to have this child.

And this person was here to make sure that her erratic protests became a reality…

Angela Chase didn't know if she was just that naïve or really more helpless in the world that she ever realized, but when that person came in bringing those strange tools, she didn't protest.

She did not stop her. She did not tell Sharon that she was crazy. Angela sat there, like a mute until it was over and Sharon's face was wet with tears.

This was murder. Angela Chase had consented, by not protesting, to this act. She had contributed to Sharon's pain, a pain and memory that would haunt her and remind fastened to her side until she no longer had a mind or body or spirit.

"Angela. Can you get me something … just anything. Anything." Sharon sniffed, obviously very taken aback by everything.

"Yeah. I'll be right back." Angela held in her utter disgust. Sharon held in her desires to cry out and plead to undo the damage. They both repressed themselves and Angela went so far as to dump a glass of cold water on the desk beside Sharon before running out of the house completely.

She could not deal with this. Not now. Not now …

Relief. That was the number one feeling Angela Chase felt once she had successfully fled to her home. The urge to pace back and forth crossed her for a moment and then Angela started searching for it.

Something. She didn't know what it was, what it would be until she found it. She just needed to get her mind off of Sharon's broken face.

And that's when she came across it. Somehow Angela thought that she tossed it, or coincidentally misplaced it, but instead here it was, crumpled and greatly dilapidated from her countless readings of it.

Even now Angela could almost recite the whole thing without even opening it. BRIAN'S NOTE.

Angela had almost forgotten that he'd written a new one and that … she jammed it into her pocket. In the new note he called himself NYU and the letter read:

'I sit here and wish for you.
I close my eyes so I can see your face.
Remembering the last time we were together is tearing me apart.
I hope you felt what I felt
when I kissed your lips and whispered: I Love you.
All you had to do was say the word and I would have moved
heaven and earth to stay by your side.
You never did.

By NYU'

Her heart dropped and Angela concurrently felt overwhelmingly inspired. She was completely, totally inspired … to go and tell Jordan how she felt. Then and there, Angela felt foolish for even thinking about 'soccer dude.' She didn't need anyone else but Jordan.

Jordan was in the middle of starting to light a cigarette, but it didn't take. Smoking made everything seem clearer or … maybe it did the opposite. Regardless, the smoke had some kind of healing power for him.

In this case, he wouldn't have to think about the woman last night or the one before her. Some were married, some separated and some recently divorced.

But they were all the same to him, sad lonely women who just wanted a soft body next to them. They wanted to feel wanted and loved and be lied to, lied to so that they could feel a moment of bliss in their lives of hollow darkness, of a constant torturous life than seeming impervious to ending.

He rubbed his hands together, trying to cool them down from the winter breeze. It was going to snow today, definitely. Jordan could feel it. He leaned on the outside of his car at Tito's house, even though no one was there.

Avoiding home had become one of his pastimes. He owed his stepmom money. Her commission for finding his clients, but Jordan had no intention of paying her. He had no intention of ever seeing her again, if he could help it.

As he tried his lighter again, a red head appeared and stepped out of the cab. It was Angela. "I've been looking all over for you."

Jordan tossed the cigarette into his pocket and brushed back his hair insecurely. "How did you find me?"

"I have to like tell you something…" Angela began, looking extremely flustered. "Jordan … I don't want to wait any longer because I want to me with you. I want you to like know how much I love you."

Jordan looked down, taking in a deep breath. He had dodged this bullet with Angela before. He brushed it off. Now, it was just the two of them.

There were no excuses. There was no way out.

"I love you." Angela explained again with more force, launching herself into Jordan's arms and kissing him with great zeal. "I want to do it. No excuses this time."

"Okay." Jordan whispered, agreeing to something that he had wanted for so long. Angela Chase was … the one miracle in his life.

Brian could not let it go. He could not let it go. A month after his kiss with Angela and his passion for her had not dimmed at all. It was as though he would always be thinking about her, her pale smooth skin, the way she laughed and thought that everything he said was a joke.

There was no getting over her.

So, Rayanne's advice on the party didn't work out so well but … with flowers in hand, Brian felt completely equipped and ready to deal with the situation.

The situation was his thirst for more of her. But first, he had to break down her wall and get Angela to really hear what he was saying.

When he arrived at the Chase house, Danielle answered after two knocks. "Brian." Her eyes glistened.

"Is Angela here?"

"Yeah, I'll go get her." Danielle rushed up the stairs as Angela walked past her.

"What are you doing here Brian?" She sighed, not even able to get really upset because of what happened with Jordan. Or rather, what was repeatedly happening with Jordan. Practically every time he saw her, they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

"I brought you these." He handed Angela some flowers, distracting her from her wondering mind.

"Thanks. They're nice." Angela reached for the front door, opening it and motioning for Brian to leave. He started to oblige when Danielle appeared, scantily dressed and with bright red lipstick on.

"Why don't you stay for dinner Brian?" She offered, bouncing down the stairs as her breasts moved with her. Show off. Angela rolled her eyes and confined herself to the sofa knowing that there was no way she'd be able to sneak out and see Jordan now.

It was probably best since he'd been a little MIA lately.

"Why don't you two get caught up?" Angela wondered, deciding that a phone call would be better. Only this time, he didn't pick up.

By the time Mr. Chase had successfully prepared dinner, Angela started to think about Jordan and when she would see him again, so much so that she hadn't eaten anything.

"May I be excused?" She left without waiting for permission with Brian following shortly after. "Stalking me?"

"No. I'm just wondering why--"

"What?"

"You're like different?" Brian inquired as cowardly as usual.

"Really?" She gushed. "How so? And is it good?"

"No, it's really, really bad."

Sharon Cherjewski was disgusted with her mother. Very grossed out. And the image of her and Jordan Catalano together was plaguing her.

She had to tell Angela. Angela deserved to know after everything she had done for Sharon. She just had to figure out how to do it and quickly …

The opportunity came to her more quickly than she was prepared for.

"I haven't like seen Jordan in a while … is that bad?"

"Yes… I mean … how is everything going with you two? Are you happy?"

"Very." Angela smiled. "But I'm confused. I thought that once you did it with someone, that things would change."

"Like everything would magically be perfect?" Sharon wondered thinking about Bobby. "It doesn't work that way." She shook her head.

"What?"

"Oh Angela … I really wish that you had waited until you knew about Jordan and who he really is." Sharon sighed.

"Says the baby murderer." Angela shot back, defensively.

"No. Says the girl whose mom is sleeping with your boyfriend."

"You lie."

"I have no reason to. If you don't believe me they're meeting again tonight at this hotel." Sharon sighed, handing Angela a piece of paper with directions. "I'll take you if you don't believe me."

After everything, Jordan Catalano turned out to be just as no good as everyone thought he was. He was sleeping with Sharon Cherjewski's mother, a crime for which there was no absolution.

For now, Angela just needed to take a walk, go somewhere. In her half-torn clothing and over-sized plaid shirt, she probably looked like a hobo who was slight schizophrenic, but her focus was not on what she looked like.

She was going to walk and keep walking until something came to her and her life made sense.

Two hours later and she had gotten nowhere. Nothing had been solved or changed, except that Brian had driven by in his car and U-turned upon passing her.

"Go away Brian." Angela grumbled instinctively as Brian lounged out of the car, leaving the hazard lights on.

"What happened?"

"Jordan Catalano happened."

"Did he hurt you? I swear, I'll like--"

"Who invited you in my life Brian? Who said you had a right to comment or ask me things or to write stupid love letters like a pathetic loser. Just go away!"

"I won't." Brian pouted, crossing his arms. "This is like so … stupid." Angela kept moving.

"Why do you want to be with a guy who doesn't know how to treat you right when I'd do anything to be with you?" Brian inquired, saturnine.

"Please stop saying that." Angela said, stolidly.

"Fine. Look at this." Angela was handed another poem of Brian's. She looked at the first couple of lines which read,

'Could you whisper in my ear, the things you want to feel? I'd give you anything to feel it coming. I want to wake up where you are. I won't say anything at all. So why don't you slide? And I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete…'

"I mean it. All of it." Brian uttered, reaching for Angela's hair.

"Stop being stupid Brian." She crumpled the words, immediately detaching herself from them and pushing Brian away.

"I'm not. I'm not!" Brian yelled, growing irrational and thinking that the only way to prove his point was to kiss Angela with conviction.

With a sigh Angela looked up at Brian who hadn't let go of her. Her gut reaction was to punch him, but Brian looked so pathetic and … the way he just kissed her really made her think …

"Do you really like love me?" Her expression softened.

"Yes. One hundred percent." Brian reassured her by pressing his lips against hers once more. The passion that he executed wasn't felt in the least by Angela, but she was just as desperate as he.

Jordan was the object of her affection and if he could so easily throw around his 'love,' then so could she. She would do it out of spite and make sure that Jordan knew that she could hurt him just as much as he hurt her.

"Kiss me again." Angela begged as Brian eagerly obeyed. She pressed her lips together and walked back towards his car. A car was where she and Jordan had done it so…

"Not in the car. My parents aren't like … home."

(A/N: Is anybody out there? If you are and this chapter doesn't wake you up, I don't know what will… BTW, I know what you're going to say about Angela but I had to criss-cross what I was going to do with this story and I Shouldn't… because I started writing the wrong storyline in the wrong story! This sticks to the title and the other one will too. –NL)