A/N: Hey guys! I'm SOO glad I decided to extend this story to three chapters. I got some really great ideas from you guys, but the one that really got me excited to go ahead and write something already, was one sent in by DreamDark. So...full credit to her for the idea. You have her to thank for this one, ladies and gentlemen. I did tweek it a little bit to fit the way I wanted the story to go, but I figured she wouldn't mind. (Please don't kill me!)
Hmm...so I was having kind of a crappy day today, and it got me thinking. What do you guys do when you're having a bad day to make yourself feel better? For me...I watch this Youtube video called The Marfan Dance. LOL...I love that video, and I don't know why. It's pretty stupid... But it never fails to cheer me up. So what do you guys do? Just curious.
So without further ado...I present to you, my tenth installment of Just One of the Guys.
Chapter 10: Me and a Couple Bats Go Down in St. James History
Blair's POV
It was ten past 7:00 by the time I finally made my way down to the fully packed dining hall from the steamy bathrooms. I had limped down the large staircase after dropping my razor in the shower and stepping on it, managing to slice my foot to ribbons in the process. Man...wasn't I just having an excellent day so far? On the way down, the thought of leaving had weighed heavily on my mind. Unfortunately, my clouded thought cycle had no way of debunking the problem at such early hours. I'm hardly able to remember the left-right sequence of walking when I wake up, let alone strategize.
Nevertheless, I stumbled into the noisy hall with as much of a fake grin on my face as I could muster, and looked around for anyone recognizable. I couldn't make out much of anything, though. Today, the hall seemed unusually crowded and bustling. In fact, I hadn't seen anyone in the bathroom's either. How odd, but it seemed to me that the entirety of St. James' student population had congregated in the dining hall. I pushed myself through a throng on chortling boys, noting that the kids seemed to be encircling something at the heart of the commotion.
"What's going on?" I asked a boy next to me, standing on tip-toe to try to see over the broad-shouldered giant that towered in front of me. The boy chuckled under his breath, a raspy and mean sound. I cringed.
"You didn't hear about it? Some guys played a prank on some poor guy. It was hilarious, you should've seen it." An image of Mikey in a glass case in nothing but his underwear immediately jumped into my mind, and I began to push fiercly through the crowds, abandoning my information source. What I came upon when I finally got to a break in all the people was not Mikey being humilated in undergarments, but something just as equally umpleasant happening to someone else familiar.
T.J. had been duct taped to one of the tables, his body parts held steadfast at his sides, useless. His glasses had been swung off onto the floor, where they lay, broken and twisted. His face was caked with a thick layer of off-color foundation, his mouth mutilated by stark, red lipstick, and his eyes shrouded in smears of blue eyeshadow and thick liner. He also had purpling bruise marks on his throat where he had evidently been held down by his attackers. I pushed my way into the hollow ring of space that surrounded the table and rushed to his side.
"T.J.!" I exclaimed in horror, watching his eyes go wide at the sight of me. "Oh my god, what happened to you? And where the hell are the teachers?" He shook his head frantically, struggling against the thick bonds of tape.
"I don't know, I was bored last night, and I couldn't get to sleep after that dance, so I decided to walk around the building a little bit. Ya know...explore. And all the sudden, I was being ambushed. There must have been five guys. They jumped on me and then dragged me down here where they taped me to this table, smushed some makeup on me, snapped a couple pictures, and left." I gasped in disbelief.
"You've been down here all night?" I asked incredulously. He nodded in a somber fashion, forming his hands into fists as he wiggled around on the table like a fish out of water. All around us, kids were laughing hysterically and trading whispers with eachother, cruelly. I scowled at them fiercly before studying the layers of tape that held him to the table. There were just too many of them. "Shit, I'm gonna need a knife or something." I muttered to myself, pulling uselessly at a knob of it.
"You mean like this?" I heard a voice behind me say. Gerard and Frankie stepped out of the crowd, both brandishing sharp objects to cut the tape with. Gerard had a bread knife from one of the tables in his hand, and Frankie clutched a pair of office scissors, probably borrowed from Clarette, who came running in behind them.
"Dear God!" She exclaimed, scampering towards me and past the two boys. "Who did this?" I shrugged my shoulders before catching sight of something that made acid climb up my throat. Eric was standing at the border of the crowd, surrounded by his usual cronies, snickering at the sight of poor T.J. being publicly humilated. I swallowed the venom to speak.
"I'm not sure, but I think I have a pretty good idea." I grumbled, giving Eric a death glare. He just smirked and then dissappeared into the crowd with the rest of his buddies. "Where are all the teachers?" I demanded as Frankie armed me with another pair of scissors and we all got started with freeing T.J.
"We had a staff meeting before breakfast today to discuss the cleanup of the party. It was only supposed to go to 6:45, but it ran late. Whoever did this must have heard about the meeting and decided to have a little fun." Clarette answered, circling around us as we worked away.
"Yeah, I'll bet he did..." I muttered to myself. Suddenly, Gerard's face was across from mine, grinning playfull as he sawed through a particularily thick wad of tape.
"Good morning..." he said rather sarcastically, brandishing the knife. I felt my face heat up, but returned the gesture, nearly stabbing myself in the eye. A couple minutes later, T.J. was tape free and climbing shakily to his feet, trying to wipe some of the makeup off of his face. I shook my head. We were going to have to do something about this. I turned to Gerard who was standing by me as we watched T.J.'s efforts to scrub the traces of hooker makeup off.
"Where's the rest of the guys?" He shrugged.
"I think Bob and Ray might've made another grocery run. They must be late. It's lucky for them that all this happened. With all the commotion, no one will even notice they're gone. As for Mikey...I don't know. I guess I thought he would be with you." I shook my head, wondering if Mikey had somehow overslept. With everything that had gone on last night, did we remember to set the alarm? I looked back at T.J. He was still trying desperately at the makeup.
"I'm gonna take T.J. to the bathroom to wash his face off. When you meet up with everyone, tell them to meet me in the library thingy we found, after breakfast." I informed him, a plot already in my head. Gerard looked a bit confused.
"Not that I care, but just so you know...we have classes, right?" he told me. I shrugged.
"Screw classes! This is much more important. I'll explain in the library. Right now...I've got a cosmetically abused teenager to tend to." I limped over towards T.J., careful not to tread too hard on my sliced foot.
"Hey, why are you limping?" Frankie asked, catching my little stumbling actions. I saw Gerard look at me quizically out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh...that. I cut my foot with a razor in the shower this morning." I explained nonchalantly. Frank cocked his head to the side.
"How'd you cut your FOOT?"
"I was shaving my legs, duh." I blurted without thinking. Both Gerard's and Frank's eyebrows shot up. I think I even saw Clarette do a double take. "Uh...joking, joking..." I covered myself quickly. It took them a minute, but they soon broke out into light laughter. I nodded in encouragement as they chuckled before grabbing T.J.'s sticky hand and dragging him as fast as possible out of the hall and away from any more chances for me to embarass myself.
"God, I'm so fucking tired of this!" I spewed venomously, pacing back and forth on the tiles of the bathroom. T.J. was positioned at the sink, splashing water on his face and scrubbing violently with an already makeup-caked paper towel. "Don't they have anything better to do than humiliate people? It's pathetic." I slammed my fist against the wall to emphasize my point. T.J. looked at me cautiously.
"Jeese...it's okay. I'm used to it..." he said tentatively, not looking away from my fuming figure as he resumed his scrubbing.
"No! It's not okay! And it really pisses me the fuck off!" For some reason, the whole ordeal had really struck a nerve. Whether it be the knowledge that now was my last chance to put a stop to this, or just that I had grown weary of Eric's stupid antics, I didn't know. All that occurred to me was the desperate need for revenge. And nothing was going to come between me and getting it. "T.J...we have to do something about this. Immediately."
"Like what?" he asked, grabbing a fresh paper towel. "We're the weaklings, remember? They're the big, popular guys who own the school and get away with everything. It's been documented in every high school movie since the beginning of time. The risks outweigh the benefits. We'd be killed!" I shook my head.
"We may be the so called 'weaklings', but what we lack in muscle, we make up for with brains, strategizing abilities, and a hunger for revenge. Trust me...we could do this. Don't you want to humiliate Eric like he does to you? Doesn't all the bullshit he pulls on you make you ravenous?" I encouraged rage to boil over inside of a relatively calm person. And judging by his expression, I was getting nowhere fast.
"Well...yeah, I mean...sure, I'd like to get back at him. But I'd also like to keep my internal organs, thank you very much." He finished getting the makeup off, and leaned back against the sink, folding his arms. "Besides...everyone always talks about revenge, but they never actually DO it. Also...there's only two of us, and like...five of them. We don't stand a chance." I grinned, knowing that I could counter everything he had just said.
"First of all...I don't just TALK about it, I most defintely attempt it. Years of experience have taught me that. And secondly, it's not JUST the two of us. I also have five very willing guys who will surely help us out. In fact, I doubt they'll even think twice about it, 'cause Eric really pisses them off too." T.J. looked puzzled, as though wondering who I could be talking about. I rolled my eyes. "I'm talking about my friends, T.J." He finally nodded in understanding.
"Well...what have you got in mind?" He asked rather suspiciously, eyeing me with a curiosity I could see burning in his eyes. Ah...so I had finally convinced him to stand up for himself, eh?
"You'll just have to wait and see. I'll explain everything when everyone's together. I told them to meet us in this library thing we found the other day. It's past the teacher's rooms. Come on...I'll show you, and then you can help me get everything together. We're gonna turn it into our revenge headquarters!" I grinned eagerly and started to walk towards the exit. T.J. staggered after me, finally smacking into a wall.
"That sounds great and all, but can I go grab my spare pair of glasses? I can't see a damn thing." I rolled my eyes. I was beginning to realize that some of my friends were just a bit nerdy. I watched as T.J. fumbled with an inhaler. Yup...only a BIT.
"That's it...just a little to the left...There! We got it!" Me and T.J. were maneuvering a large whiteboard on wheels into the "Secret Library", as we had dubbed it not five minutes ago. We had found the lonely whiteboard lurking in the corner of a deserted classroom, that had probably been the old history classroom judging from the many maps and large posters of important historical documents.
I dusted it off, pleased with our progress of transforming the Secret Library into our headquarters of sorts for all our plotting schemes. Needless to say, the immenent thought of leaving St. James had abandoned my mind recently, leaving the space to be occupied with revenge tactics. And boy, was my head swarming with them! About forty-five minutes, give or take, had passed since I had left Gerard in the dining hall with the request that he tell everyone to meet me up here.
As was the case, I was expecting them any time now. I took a step back to admire our work. Along with the whiteboard we had moved in, there was also a long, wooden pointer we had found accompanying it. We had pushed two square tables together to form a rectangular one in the center of the room, with chairs positioned around it. The one window on the door had been papered over with yesterday's math homework so that no one could see inside. I sighed, proud of my work, not hearing the door swing open in my distraction.
"You didn't set the alarm, dickwad- Whoa..." Mikey had stepped into the room, grumbling about the alarm predicament until he caught sight of the 'redecorating' I had done. "It looks like a freaking CIA headquarters! You're not gonna flip a switch that makes panels in the wall flip around to reveal computers and all sorts of fancy monitors and surveilance screens, are you?" I shook my head.
"Sorry..I didn't have QUITE enough time to pull that off. You'll have to be satisfied with what I've got." I gestured to the table, telling him to sit down.
"Umm...might I ask why exactly we're supposed to meet everyone up here? It better be pretty important, 'cause I'm missing Latin for this. And we have a test coming up." I rolled my eyes.
"As I've told everyone who's asked so far, I'll explain when everyone's together." I tapped my foot impatiently as we waited for the others.
"Who's that?" Mikey asked under his breath, referring to T.J. who was standing awkwardly by the white board and glancing at his watch every few seconds. I shrugged.
"That's T.J. He's a friend of mine." I said nonchalantly, looking at the door, eager to begin. Mikey looked back and forth between the two of us.
"Does he know about your...situation?" he whispered so that only I could hear. I shook my head, imploring him not to bring it up right now. I had too many things running through my head. He was opening his mouth to say more when the door opened and the rest of everybody poured in. Bob and Ray seemed extremely out of breath, bursting in and almost flopping into any available chair. Frank and Gerard strolled in casually behind them, shutting the door and looking around.
"Hmmm...why do I feel like something exciting is about to happen?" Frankie asked, a hopeful expression on his face. I grinned.
"Maybe because it is..." I hinted. "Where have you guys been? Breakfast ended ten minutes ago." Frank rolled his eyes.
"We were waiting for these two losers to get back from their little shopping spree." He pointed to Ray and Bob, who I noticed were still clutching bags in their hands.
"You guys JUST got back?" I asked incredulously. "How did no one notice you were gone?" They both shrugged.
"Eh...it's a big enough school. No one really keeps tabs on anyone until class starts. So, in that case...we've all been missing for ten minutes." Ray explained, catching his breath. "Anyways...we got food and that's all that matters." He grinned widely and held up two plastic bags which he clutched proudly in both hands. Bob raised his miraculously, too.
I grabbed one, and Frankie grabbed the other two, and we started to take things out and plop them down on the table. I was ravenous for something to eat, not having noticed how hungry I had been getting what with all the plotting I'd been doing. I had to restrain myself from tearing open any of the boxes. Finally, we had everything unpacked and everyone was seated, eating. A few people asked me quietly who T.J. was, but they didn't seem particularily bothered by the fact that he was there.
I sighed as I munched happily on a chocolate chip granola bar and sipped at a cup of orange juice. This seemed like it was going to turn out to be an alright day afterall."So..." Frankie huffed, slamming his own cup of OJ down on the table. "What bringeth us today to this humble abode, dear sir?" He swung his arm heartily, picking up a heavily accented voice to go along with it. I stood up from my seat and proceeded to march towards the blank whiteboard at the head of the table. Everybody's eyes were trained on me. I took a deep breath.
"Allright...I've called everyone here today to discuss the topic of revenge." I grabbed a black whiteboard marker, and wrote across the top of the board 'Revenge'. Everyone stared at me with curious expressions. I cleared my throat, picked up the wooden pointer, and continued. "As some of you know, us 'weaklings' have been the target of vulgar pranks, tricks, and jokes. We have been opressed and stepped on. And these oppressors are none other than the very own assholes that this school has picked out as the 'good kids'. The five main offenders..."
I wrote the names that I knew of the five guys that had tied T.J. to the table earlier.
Eric
Max
Mystery Asshole 1
Mystery Asshole 2
Mystery Asshole 3
Mikey raised his hand almost tentatively. I pointed at him with the pointer to let him know he had the floor. "Er...what does...'Mystery Asshole one, two, and three mean?" He questioned, obviously confused. I nodded.
"Good question. The term refers to the three dicks whose names I do not know, that are in Eric's little 'posse' and who are also routine offenders. This group of...sickos have been harrassing my friend, T.J. here, with no mercy. Not only has he been taped to the dining hall tables and smeared with makeup, but he has also been the victim of several other pranks and random acts of attack. Right, T.J. ?" He nodded, seeming almost unsure that he was welcome here. I didn't wait for anyone to respond before I continued.
"So...I think it's hight time that we plotted a little revenge on them. Give them a taste of their own medicine. So who's with me?" Immediately, almost everyone's hands shot up. The only hands that remained down belonged to T.J. and Mikey. I sighed. "What seems to be the problem here?" T.J. shrugged.
"I don't know...I'm not gonna have to really DO anything, am I? I really don't wanna be sent home to my parents in pieces." I rolled my eyes.
"No, T.J. You don't have to DO anything if you don't want to. At least not on the main battlefield anyway. You'll be fine." I turned to Mikey, a death glare in my eyes. He seemed rather immune to my death glares. "And what's your problem?"
"I don't know...I'm not really much of one to break serious rules...I mean-" I cut him off.
"What the hell are you talking about? So far you've started a food fight, participated in the devouring of possibly illegal food, and now you're skipping class to meet in an off limits library. I'm not really sure you have much of a chance at the model student award anymore, Mikey." I informed him swiftly, eager to get over introductions and onto the actual planning part of this whole thing. When Mikey didn't say anything for a long time, I took it that he had given up with his protests, and went on to continue with my little speech.
"So...there are a few key things that can tear apart people like Eric and them. Trust me...I know from experience." I picked up the marker again, and started to write while I spoke. "Numero Uno...they have zero tolerance for humiliation. If you embarrass them even just a tiny bit, they have an internal breakdown. They can't take it. Number two...all guys like him have a dirty little secret that will embarass them until the day that they die. Something that's SOOO humiliating, they can't even tell their closest friends."
I pointed to each segment of scribbled writing, going down the list of key points. "And finally...if you can combine what humiliates them with a way to make it amusing to us and to other people...we have revenge. Any questions?" They all stared blankly at the board. "Okay...great. Now...the first step in planning a great revenge is to decide what kind of revenge it's going to be. In my book, there are three categories of revenge." I started writing again.
"Retaliation, meaning that you do to them what they did to you, pranking, or somehow making them feel guilt. Which route do you wanna take?" I stared at all of them, waiting for anyone to say SOMETHING. Gerard finally spoke up.
"Umm...pranking sounds kinda fun. I haven't pranked anyone it awhile." Everyone else started to nod in consent. I erased the board, and wrote 'The Prank'. At the top.
"Okay...now that we've decided what kind of revenge we're doing, we have to research the victim. Or, in this case, victims." I put five bullet points on the board. "So...one thing we know about each of the targets." I waited, but no one said anything. As it turned out, no one knew particularily anything about any of them. Well...except for Mikey who apparently knew that Eric had "really flowy, blonde hair". To this, he earned the chucking of food items from each of us.
"Well, looks like we have some dirt to dig up. Whose ready to get their hands dirty, boys?" I asked, a hint of evil in my voice. A grin slid on to every face in the room.
"Station 2, Station 2...reporting to Station 1. Come in Station 1, are you there?" Frankie was hissing into a walkie talkie. He and I were crouching secretively behind a large potted plant on the West Wing. We were waiting for a boy named Shane to pass through the hall. Shane was, according to T.J., Eric's roommate. We were hoping that Shane would be able to shed some light on our information crisis. It was almost 9:00, just about time for classes to switch. And, as we had been informed, Shane would be exiting the classroom directly across from the potted plant we had concealed ourselves with. The walkie talkie Frank was holding suddenly crackled, letting us know we were about to get a response from Station 1, which was Mikey and T.J. peering into the classroom from outside, through a window. They were concealed by a thick layer of bushes.
"This is Station 1 reporting to Station 2. We have confirmed sighting of the Armadillo." Mikey's voice crackled over the walkie. Me and Frankie looked at eachother quizically.
"What the fuck is 'the Armadillo'?" Frankie hissed into the speaker.
"Oh, it's the code name I made up for Shane. They always have cool code names for the subjects in spy movies." Frankie rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Okay...anyways...We are waiting for the signal that the...er...Armadillo...is on the move. We're ready whenever you give the signal." There was a momentary pause, and then Mikey came on again.
"Roger, that. Station 3, what is your status?" Another crackling whoosh, and then it was Gerard over the walkie this time. He was stationed just outside the door of the classroom.
"I'm ready on your signal." he said. "What's Station 4's status?" Ray and Bob were Station 4. Waiting inside the supply closet a little further down the hall. Suddenly, Ray was on the walkie.
"We're all good." I nodded to Frankie, who started to speak.
"Alright...commence operation sequence...NOW!" And Gerard entered the classroom. Our plan was for Gerard to get Shane to stay inside the classroom until the halls cleared of students. Then...Mikey and T.J. would alert us when Shane was on his way out, and me and Frankie would ambush him, dragging him off to the supply closet where Ray and Bob were waiting. A few silent minutes passed, and suddenly, the doors burst open and students came pouring out.
The halls eventually cleared, and now we were just waiting for Mikey's signal. Suddenly, there was that crackling noise again. "The Armadillo is leaving the ranch, and is headed for the desert road! I repeat, the Armadillo is leaving the ranch, and is heading for the desert road." Mikey was yelling into the walkie.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Frankie asked in bewilderment.
"I repeat...the armadillo is-" There was a fumbling noise, and suddenly T.J. was yelling into the walkie.
"He's coming! Hurry!" Me and Frankie looked at eachother and nodded, bracing ourselves. Suddenly, the door opened and a tall boy with long, dirty blonde hair and a bad case of acne came out. Immediately, me and Frankie jumped out from behind the plant and attacked. I jumped ontop of him while Frankie whipped out a bandanna to gag him with.
"What the?" the boy named Shane yelled before Frankie got the gag in. Gerard slipped out of the classroom and used duct tape to bind his hands behind his back. Then all three of us dragged him towards the closet. We tossed him in and onto a chair, locking the door. It was pitch black. Suddenly, I light was shining directly on Shane's face. It was in Bob's hand. He ripped the gag off of Shane. "Who the hell are you? What do you want? I don't want to be in a gang!"
"Where were you on the night of May 5th?" Bob asked suddenly, shining the light harshly on Shane's face. He squinted in confusion as well as from the brightness.
"What?" And suddenly, Bob slapped him. I lunged forward.
"Okay...lets not be MEAN to the hostage. We only want to ask him a few questions." I said calmly, searching for the actual light string.
"Sorry..." Bob murmured, "I've just always wanted to try that..." I finally found it and tugged it on. It exposed all of us, crowded into the small room and Shane's confused, frightened expression.
"Maybe I should do the talking..." I suggested. I plopped down on a discarded mop bucket, and cast my eyes to Shane, who sat petrified in the chair. "You're Eric's roommate, right?"
"What? Yeah...I am...Do I know you people?" he blundered about in his words, glancing terrifiedly back and forth between everyone in the room. I shook my head in an answer to his question.
"What can you tell us about him?" I pressed for information, leaning forward and placing my chin in my palm.
"If you wanted to know about Eric, why didn't you just kidnap him?" he asked, flinching away from my sudden closeness.
"Yeah, why didn't we just capture him?" Frankie asked from over my shoulder, crossing his arms.
"Because, then he would have been expecting something. And that's the whole point of a prank...to NOT be expecting it." I explained calmly. "Now...I'm sure you know him well enough. What is he afraid of? Does he have any embarrassing secrets?" At this, everyone in the room inched forward, waiting for Shane to respond.
"What, you mean like that he's never been laid, or something? Eric doesn't really have any embarrassing secrets. He's kind of just...a douche..." We all looked at eachother.
"Well, the feeling's mutual." I told him, trying to get him on our side. "And we'd really like to get some revenge. Eric's been pushing our buttons for far too long and we feel it's about time that he learns his lesson. But...in order to do that, we have to get some dirt on him. So tell us what you know. What is Eric afraid of?" There was a long pause while Shane sat and thought about it.
"If I tell you what I know, will you promise to let me go?" he asked suspiciously, looking over my shoulder at the locked door. I nodded eagerly.
"Pinky swear..." I stuck my pinky out at him hopefully. He, along with everyone else, just stared at me as though I had just proposed some alien ritual. Which, in this case, I might have. "Er...never mind. Just...spill, and we'll let you out. I swear." The whole room held its breath while he contemplated.
"Look...the only thing that I know for SURE that he's afraid of...is spooky stuff. You know...things that go bump in the night, and ghosts and stuff? He's really superstitous. And, I'm pretty sure he's scared of bats, too." He looked frantically at us, obviously hoping that he had satisfied our request. And, oh he had...
I turned to everyone and grinned. "Boys...I think we have a plan." Everyone started to laugh evily. And then there was a tiny cough that interrupted our little celebration. It was Shane, shifting awkwardly in his bonds.
"Umm...could you guys...let me go now? I mean...I gave you what you wanted and all..." Me and Frankie looked at eachother.
"Yeah, sure, no problem." We said in unison. He looked relieved until we hoisted him up, and started to drag him out into the hall.
"Hey! What are you guys doing?" he asked earnestly, twitching. We set him by the wall, still tied up, and started to walk away. "Hey, guys! You can't just leave me here like this! Guys...guys!"
"Come on, we've got some things to get together." I said proudly to my minions. We all chuckled, knowing what the next phase was, and ran off to go find T.J. and Mikey to share the news with.
I tapped my foot impatiently on the tiles of the bathroom. It was quarter past 11:00, and me, Gerard, T.J., and Bob were hiding out in the bathroom, waiting for news. Ray, Mikey and Frankie had been sent out about forty-five minutes ago to pick up supplies.
I was beginning to wonder why no one was scouring the school for us. I mean...here we were, seven missing students, wandering around the school, leaving the grounds. You'd think SOMEONE would've noticed by now! It got me thinking that maybe the teachers really didn't care about it as much as they let on. Probably just a show for Kirk. Maybe they were fed up with his bullshit, too. Or appalled by his gap. Either way, we had had no trouble getting to and from places, and we felt no need to hide from something we knew wouldn't come.
Although, I will admit, I nearly jumped ten feet in the air when the door to the bathroom finally swung open. Thinking it was finally one of the teachers (or even Kirk, himself!), I prepared to run for the nearest stall. But it turned out just to be the rest of the guys returning from their shopping trip, looking absolutely delighted, but empty handed. "Where's all the stuff?" I asked, confused.
"We took the liberty of setting everything up for you. Hope you don't mind. But everything's ready to go. All we have to do now is find a way to make sure that Eric and his buddies are the first ones down on the way to lunch." Ray explained everything, hoisting himself up so that he could sit in the edge of a nearby sink. T.J. was pacing nervously.
"This is never gonna work...We'll never be able to pull it off." he muttered anxiously, probably not meant for anyone to hear.
"Relax, T.J. Everything's gonna work out just fine. Trust me...We planned carefully. This thing is gonna go off without a hitch." I punched his shoulder to imitate what every guy seemed to do to offer someone comfort. Unfortunately, I think I did it a LITTLE too hard. He tumbled sideways and smacked into a wall.
"Ow! Mason! What was that for?" he cried, rubbing his shoulder and looking up at me through furrowed brows. An expression of sympathy flooded my face.
"Woops, sorry...Guess I underestimated. Sorry about that." I bit my lip and looked away. Hey...at least it wasn't something humiliating like it usually was. But T.J. shuffled away from me a little bit, continuing to rub his shoulder. "So...how're we gonna get those assholes down to lunch before everyone else?" I asked, trying to change the subject and draw attention away from the fact that I had just punched my friend. People started to ramble off ideas. Everything from a hostage takeover of the school, to hiring a member of the Mafia that was related to Bob's Uncle somehow.
Unfortunately, we had neither the time nor the money for anything major. I was pondering fiercly when Bob's face lit up. "Hey!" he said, obviously excited to come up with a possibly good idea to get into the air. "Do you think we could get a little favor from that hot secretary down in the office? You know...the one that gave us food that one night?"
"Clarette? What could she do?" I asked, trying to see how his suggestion fit in with the whole scenario.
"Well...we'd just get her to...maybe like call them down to the office or something. They'd all come into the Great Hall at roughly the same time, that way. And...it's pretty much foolproof. I mean...they can't say NO if they're called down to the office." I thought about it for a minute. And the more the idea lulled around in my head, the better it sounded, until it became the perfect solution.
"Brilliant!" I said, excited to be finally getting everything in order. "Great...Well...if she'll do it..." I tacked on doubtfully.
"Hey, you never know until you try..." Frank said, walking towards the exit. "Besides...if all else fails...I'm sure my STUNNING good looks will win her over in the end." He winked at us and flipped his hair majestically. I rolled my eyes and got up to follow.
"Sure thing Frankie...Tell you what...if everything else goes down the toilet, we'll make sure to get that in there..."
"But of course! I would love to finally get some revenge on those boys! They're always picking on people. In fact...if I wasn't so concerned about losing this job, I would've kicked their asses a LONG time ago!"
We all stared wide eyed at Clarette as she sat, grinning, behind her little desk. "Are you serious?" I asked her. "You're not even gonna...lecture us, or something?" She shrugged her shoulders.
"Do you want me to lecture you?"
"No, no...That's okay! We're good!" we all said, trying to avoid anything that was avoidable. And hey...if she wanted to help us so willingly...it's not like we were gonna argue with her.
"So..." she said, standing up from her desk eagerly, "What do you need me to do?"
"All you need to worry about doing is going to the classrooms of these five guys and telling them they need to come down to the office. This will get them exactly where they need to be in the great hall." I told her easily. "After that, you're free to go." She nodded, clearly ready to do what was asked of her. "Okay, but also, we need the names of these three guys we don't know. They hang around with Eric and Max alot?"
She thought for a minute before her face lit up. "That would be Mike, Jordan, and Kellan, no doubt. Those boys have been inseperable since day one when they first got here in freshmen year." She sat down at the desk and began to type something into her battered computer."I can look up what classes each of them are in, and then I can go ahead and go down there whenever you're ready." Her eyes didn't leave the screen as her fingers moved in blurs across the clicking keyboard.
I turned to Ray. "Are you POSITIVE that it's all set up?" I asked, wanting to make absolutely sure that everything was prepared so that nothing would go wrong. The timing needed to be absolutely perfect if this was going to work. He nodded solemnly. I glanced at the small clock mounted on the wall behind Clarette's desk. It was nearly quarter to 12:00. "Alright, Clarette, whenever you're ready." She hopped up, pressing her hands to her mouth to contain a squeal, and ran out of the room, carrying a sticky note on which she had written the classrooms down.
"Alright...positions everybody." I said and everyone saluted. Well...aren't I a special snowflake today...
The great hall stood completely silent, dazzling in all its dark beauty and quiet. Almost breathtaking, if you ask me. Well...not that I was doing much breathing anyways. I was totally nervous and trying to stay completely silent. Ray, who was stationed with me, saw my face and gave a low chuckle. "Mason, relax...Your face is turning blue. You're no good to anyone dead." I nodded and tried to get my lungs under control. I just had this aching feeling that something would go terribly wrong.
If I was expelled or suspended, how was I possibly going to get any information for Maggie at all? The feeling of guilt started to seep into my insides. I had occuppied half of my day so far with plotting a prank when I should have been spying on Kirk or reading files, or something productive. "Snap out of it Blair!" I told myself in my head. "This is no time to be thinking about that. As soon as this is done, you'll get right to hunting for some clues. It'll work out just fine..." I finally calmed myself down enough to breath correctly, and my face started to return to its normal flush.
Suddenly our walkie-talkie crackled on, startling me, and almost causing me to jump ontop of Ray. He pushed me off as kindly as he could, rolling his eyes, and picked up the walkie. Mikey's voice crackled over the speaker. "He's coming!" And then all was silent again. I took a deep breath. Ray glanced down at me.
"You ready for this?" I gulped, but nodded. He swiftly bent over, allowing me to hop on his shoulders. The long, black hooded cape I was wearing nearly covered both of us, it was so long. The only visible part was Ray's feet. He staggered a little at first under my weight, but then steadied himself out and proceeded to walk to his position by the corner that blocked us from view just on the top of the main stair case. I heard footsteps and then two voices in the hall.
"I can't believe we got called to the office." One of them said.
"Yeah...Hey, is that Eric and Max?" another questioned. Their voices sounded unfamiliar so I assumed they were the three boys whose names I hadn't know.
"Yeah, guess they got called down here too. Small world." A third person added. More footsteps clacked into the hall. This time, Eric's voice could be heard loud and clear. That stupid arrogant voice of his made the acid in my stomach churn.
"Shit...my dad's gonna be pissed if I'm in trouble." he said. Their footsteps came to a halt and they greeted eachother. Suddenly, the lights in the great hall went out. It was pitch black. "Wh-What's going on?" I heard Eric say urgently, and fought to contain my laughter. Eric was afraid of the spooks? Well...I guess we'll have to give him a show, then. I grinned.
"Come on...let's do this..." I whispered in Ray's ear. He nodded, and we started to walk out into view, though no one could see us yet because of the darkness. And then Bob, who was working the lighting, snapped on the dim lights on the stairs. They were embedded into the stairs, and only cast an eerie glow over us. We could see their terrified faces turn to face us as we stood grimly at the top of the stairs. They all began to whimper.
"What...what is that thing?" One of the boys asked, trembling.
"That's your que..." I hissed to Ray, nudging him in the shoulder. He quietly cleared his throat and then began to boom out in a loud voice:
"Those who have sinned shall be punished! You who have wreaked havoc on the lowly of this world shall rot in your selfishness and your own internalized misery! You are condemned to be forever haunted by the visions of those onto whom you inflicted such misery! Let this serve as a reminder that you will get what is coming for you!"
They all began to shake. "Oh god! I knew it was true! Bad karma! It's finally come back around!" Max shouted, positively quivering with fear. It took all I had in me not to break out into hysterical laughter. And then the lights snapped off again. Ray silently descended the stairs, moving to creep behind the little shaking group they had formed. It was time to play with their heads.
"Wh-Where'd it go?" an unfamiliar voice said quietly. We were finally behind them now. And then the lights to the stairs came on again. They were all facing away from us, staring at the stairs. They didn't pay me and Ray any attention.
"Oh my god!" One of the guys shouted. For while the lights had been turned out and me and Ray had been sneaking around, Gerard and Frankie had worke their magic with the special effects. They had been concealed behind the slightly cracked open door to the basement that was right next to the stair case. The stairs were now painted with "blood", which was actually just some Ketchup from the local Walmart. And at the bottom of the staircase, his shirt soaked in it, was T.J. , playing dead. "Holy shit! That's that kid we were giving a whirlie to this morning! I guess he really did die!"
Then the lights went out again, giving T.J. a chance to make his escape. Finally, the whole great hall was lit up again. Ray leaned in real close to their little group. "Boo." was all he said, but they all started screaming like little girls, and they ran rampantly around the room. And then Bob killed the lights again so we could make the infamous cleanup. Man...Bob was really doing a great job with the lighting. Gerard and Frankie rushed to the stairs with rags and mopped up the ketchup, using the tiniest of flashlights.
The boys were all too busy running around and screaming to notice any small lights cropping up. And I hopped down from Ray's shoulders, and we both ran to get to the basement door. Thankfully, the switches for all the lights were in there, so Bob didn't have to make a run for it once the lights were on. "Everyone back in?" I aksed. I heard them all respond and then motioned for the lights to turn back on. Not paying any attention, the boys continued to run in circles and scream.
I couldn't hold it back anymore. We all started to laugh so hard that we were beginning to cry. Even T.J. , soaked in Ketchup was chortling. I handed him a spare T-shirt to change into. "Boys, we've done good." I told them proudly. "Bob, excellent job with the lighting Gerard and Frankie, you guys had some kick-ass special effects, and Ray...you made a great demon guy." They all beamed proudly.
Suddenly, there was the loud sound of hundreds of kids filing into the great hall. What they came upon was Eric, Max, Mike, Jordan, and Kellan all running around like scared children, screaming. Then we saw Headmaster Kirk descend the stairs.
"What on Earth is going on down here?" he shouted over the confused murmurs of the students that had just walked in. Max suddenly fell to his knees at Kirk's feet.
"It's coming for us! The demon, the monster! It wants to punish us for what we've done!" He cried, looking on the verge of tears. The other boys came forward as well. Eric lagged a bit in the back.
"It's true, Headmaster! He came down the stairs and there was blood all over and everything!" They all yelled at once. And then a great silence fell over the hall. Suddenly, the whole student body burst out into roars of hysterical laughter. It was as though nothing as funny as this had ever happened before.
"Psychos!" Somebody bellowed from the crowd. At this, everyone laughed harder. Headmaster Kirk was shaking his head. We were all laughing again, and then I realized that Mikey was nowhere in sight.
"Hey, where's Mikey?" I asked. We all looked around, but could see no sign of him. And then...we heard something that no surprise will ever top.
"Unleash the fucking bats!" Mikey's voice echoed through the room. He was nowhere in sight, but suddenly, a small swarm of bats soared into the hall, and dive-bommed directly at the boys and Kirk.
"Ahhh! I hate bats!" Eric yelled. "Get it away! Get it away!" And the whole group of them, including Kirk started to run for the main doors that led outside, the bats chasing them wildly as they went. A little bat picked up Kirk's wig and started to fly away. A stunned silence filled the hall.
And then everyone burst out with cheers and clapping. I had a grin a mile wide on my face at the mere sight of it. "Come on..." I said to everyone. "Let's get into the lunch hall before anyone notices us." The kids were all too busy celebrating to see us quietly slip through the doors to the Dining Hall. We seated ourselves comfortably at a table and began to fill up our plates. Looked like burgers was on the menu today. Along with fries, a large salad, and a geletin mold. We were beginning to eat when Mikey rushed in.
We all stood up and clapped. "Dude, that was awesome!" Ray yelled proudly. Mikey blushed and beamed at the floor. Gerard swung an arm around his little brother.
"Ya know, Mikes...I never thought I'd say this, but...I'm proud to be your brother. That was awesome." This cause Mikey to grin even wider. Ah...brotherly love. Where would we be without it? None of us even bothered to ask where he'd gotten the bats. We didn't particularily want to know. 0_o
Gradually, the Dining Hall filled with students and everyone started eating, laughing and joking loudly about what had just happened. None of the teachers were even here yet. They were probably chasing bats around the building on Kirk's orders, trying to get his toupee back. I laughed at the jovial thought. With a mouth full of burger, the doors burst open and Kirk swarmed in.
"You!" He yelled, pointing directly at our group. His wig was lopsided. We looked up at him with our mouths stuffed as he came to tower over us. "You were the only students missing from class today! It had to have been you who planned this ridiculous prank! There's no one else it could've been! What on Earth are you playing at? You'll all be expelled for this!" Before any of us could swallow our food to say anything, a voice came from behind Kirk.
"Headmaster, I'm sorry, did I forget to tell you?" Clarette clicked up to stand next to him. "I had them in the office all morning doing some work around the place. I was with them the whole morning, there's no way they could have done anything. I was with them the whole time. I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to notify their teachers! How silly of me!" She winked at us when Kirk wasn't looking.
"You-You did?" he asked incredulously.
"Why, I most certainly did, Headmaster! I'm sorry to have forgotten and caused so much trouble." she said, pouting slightly. We all grinned.
"Well..." Kirk cleared his throat. "I guess you're off the hook then. For now... But I've got my eye on you." He narrowed his already beady eyes to slits.
"Yeah, I'm sure you do, you pedophile..." Frankie muttered under his breath. We all snorted, but turned it into a coughing fit.
"Well, Clarette, that was irresponsible. I guess you'll just have to make it up to me later." He grinned suggestively at her and bumped into her sexually as he passed by, straightening his wig. Clarette rolled her eyes and flipped him off, sticking her tongue out at his retreating form. Then she smiled broadly at us and went to take he seat at the teacher's table. We stared wide-eyed and forever greatful after her.
"I think I love that woman..." Ray said in awe. We all nodded.
"You know...something tells me that this prank is going to go down in history here, guys." I said. "Like in fifty years, everyone will still be talking about the epic prank that was played out in the Great Hall." Everyone beamed.
And for now, everything was A-Ok. I wasn't worried about time limits or snooping, or even my girl situation. Here I was, sitting with my friends, eating burgers and laughing about an amazing, historical prank we had just pulled. Oh yes, life was good.
Even if it wasn't really MY life.
A/N: Special thanks to anyone who submitted ideas. Love you guys. Next chapter should be up soon enough. Thank you for your amazing patience and committment to this story. Each and every one of you is absolutely amazing! :D