ANFTA:
Myself: OH MY GOD CHRISTMAS!!
Me: . . . You just used the Lord's name in vain – ON CHRISTMAS EVE!! MYSELF YOU MORON!!
Myself: We didn't interview Daymond…
Me: Well… We could do that instead of writing a new chapter…
Myself: We could!
Daymond: … I get no say in this?
Me: Probably not, Daymond.
Myself: -puts pointy ears on Daymond- OH MY GOD AN ELF! Are you Santa's helper?
Daymond: … -sarcasm- of course. I escaped from the factory a bit early to check up on you so that I can report to the big man in red whether or not you're behaving; he said that if you didn't behave, you wouldn't be able to continue writing this god-forsaken fan fiction.
Myself: -gasps- REALLY?! So you're like a doctor?!
Me: … how does that have ANY relation to a doctor?
Myself: He's checking up on us! Doctors check up on you! I didn't think I had an appointment, though…
Daymond: Doctor? –Thinks; evil grin- Sure. Let's play "doctor". We'll start with an autopsy….
Myself: I do read! I know what that is! IT'S NOT GOOD! Run, Run away!
Me: Wow… Demyx much?
Myself: OH MY GOD DEMYX COMES WITH HIS OWN THEME MUSIC!
Me: Glad you like the song….
Daymond: Am I done here then..?
Myself: PLAY MY SITAR NIGHT AND DAY! –is off key-
Me: Run, Daymond, before she comes to her senses..
Myself: -is still singing-
--
"Aww… Daymond's still shaaaaking" Jessey cooed, poking Daymond's shoulder, as said temperamental Demi-God let go of Aurora long enough to glare at Jessey.
"…Poke me again, midget. I dare you." Daymond growled, still being held by Aurora. Daymond made a sound like purring as he buried his face on Aurora's neck.
"I'm not a midget and aaaaaaaaw Kitty cat!!" Jessey cooed again, poking Daymond, who growled dangerously, whipping around, grabbing Jessey's arm, twisting it behind her back, and with one violent jerk, breaking it as if it was a twig. Then he turned back to Aurora again, who began stroking his hair.
"Daymond's mad! HE BROKE MY ARM, JARRED!"
"Fan-freakin'-tastic, Jessey." Jarred yawned, stretching as he walked over to Jessey and placing his hand on the break in her arm. He mumbled something quietly, and within seconds, her arm was as good as new.
The other guys, Neil, Jay, Odie, Archie and Herry, were watching Daymond with daggers in their eyes and whispering amongst themselves.
"I can't believe him! Who does he think he is?!" Archie hissed, folding his arms across his chest.
"I have Theresa… must not touch… must…. Not….. touch…." Jay stammered, forcing himself to look away and close his eyes tightly.
"I can't… believe… I said that…" Herry blabbered, still blushing. That was the biggest slip up he had ever made.
"I can…" Odie mused, snickering. "All those years of not paying attention to girls caught up to you in the form of Aurora." Odie laughed; unlike the other guys, he found it quite easy to resist Aurora's charms.
Neil was pouting in a corner. "She's almost as pretty as me! Why does she like HIM?! He's not even that pretty! I mean, look at me! I'm so… so… pretty!" He cried, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at Daymond.
Daymond nuzzled against Aurora's neck, holding her tightly, as if it was his way of apologizing for almost killing her, which it was.
Everyone was lost in their private conversations, including Jarred and Jessey, so lost, in fact, that no one except Herry and Odie noticed the she-elf running away from the rent-a-cop.
"Is that…is that an ELF?!" Odie asked, nudging Herry, who was watching the elf running away with some amusement.
"I think it is. Think we should help her, Odie?" Herry asked, and Odie shrugged.
"Well… why not? Seeing as Neil, Jarred, Jay, Jessey, Daymond, Aurora, Atlanta and Theresa are busy, no one else is going to help the poor… thing." Odie stated, shrugging again, running ahead of Herry, who followed closely behind.
"WHY ARE YOU CHASING MEE!?" The elf wailed, pumping her arms for extra speed – the rent-a-cop was faster than he looked. Herry caught up to the elf first, Odie having fallen behind, keeping in step with the rent-a-cop.
"Hi – who are you?" Herry asked casually, as if they were jogging in the same marathon. The elf had her eyes closed, focusing on running. She was panting heavily – apparently she had been running for a while.
"Name?.. Zene…" She gasped, holding her side. "Oww…"
"What's wrong?"
"Broke… rib…." She wheezed, her running slowing significantly. Herry watched her, looking concerned. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that Odie and the rent-a-cop had stopped running and were yelling at each other.
"He's not following you any more.." Herry stated, turning back around as the elf stumbled and fell. Herry, acting faster than any would have thought possible, leapt in front of Zene and caught her before she hit the ground.
"Good." She wheezed, trying to take deep breaths, but that broken rib wasn't making it an easy task. Herry lifted her with ease, walking slowly and carefully over to Jarred, who was arguing with Jessey. Over Muffins.
"Muffins are cupcakes!" Jarred yelled, his arms flailing.
"NO THEY'RE NOT!" Jessey yelled. "THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! There's icing on cupcakes!"
"You can have icing on muffins, too!"
"Muffins are made of fruits and vegetables!"
"THERE'S NO VEGETABLES!"
"WHAT ABOUT CARROT MUFFINS?" Jessey demanded.
"WILL ONE OF YOU TWO SHUT UP LONG ENOUGH TO HELP ME?!" Herry yelled, making everyone stop yelling at each other – except in Daymond's case, as he had fallen asleep on Aurora.
"Eh?" Jarred blinked at Herry, then at Zene. "Who's the elf?"
"That's an elf. That IS an elf. THAT'S AN ELF?! Nope. Sounds strange however you say it." Jessey shrugged, shaking her head. Herry sighed heavily as Zene shrieked in pain.
"Jarred, she has a broken rib. Are you going to help her or not?!" Herry asked, and Jarred blinked.
"Broken rib? That's kid's stuff…" Jarred yawned.
"Then help her!"
"Okay, okay…" Jarred grumbled, placing both of his hands on Zene's lower torso, mumbling a couple words quietly, then stepping back. She wasn't breathing as hard now, but it was obvious that she was still sore.
"…And on a completely random note, I'm hungry." Neil complained loudly, making everyone look at him. "What!? I haven't eaten since breakfast!"
"Me neither, but I'm not complaining!" Jessey pointed out. Jarred rolled his eyes.
"Yes you did. You were just eating a sandwich."
"No I wasn't!" Jessey coughed, hiding half a sandwich behind her back.
"I need food." Daymond said bluntly as he woke up, pulling Aurora into his lap and burying his face in the back of her shirt. "Jessey, toss me a sandwich."
"OKAY! I… mean… what are you talking about?! I don't have a void where I store sandwiches!"
"Yes you do. I gave it to you last week, moron. NOW GIVE ME FOOD BEFORE I EAT YOU!"
"Okay!" Jessey squeaked, tossing sandwiches to one and all.
"Hey I thought that you didn't have any food in your pockets." Neil complained pointedly, placing his hands on his hips. Jessey frowned at Neil.
"What are you TALKING about?! I never said I didn't have food in my pocket! ARE YOU DAFT MAN?!" Jessey purred. Jarred snickered.
"Yeah – she only said that she hadn't eaten, not that she didn't have food, but her saying that she hadn't eaten was a lie as well…"
Herry wasn't paying attention to that conversation anymore. He was talking with Zene. Odie was now running away from the rent-a-cop.
"So you're from where, again?" Herry asked, Zene brushing her snow-white bangs out of her one black eye and her one orange eye.
"I told you – Hyrule. Not that you'd know where it is… No one does."
Jessey ran up. "I DO! I know Hyrule! I visited once! How's Link doing? I haven't seen him in YEARS!" Jessey said, sitting herself beside Zene, who looked at her like she was from Mars.
"Uhh…. You know Link?"
"Uhh… yeah?" Jessey raised an eyebrow. "Why? Don't you? I thought everyone in Hyrule knew Link!"
"Oh… I know Link. I just don't know how you know him."
"Well… once upon a time… I knew a fairy that knew a fairy that knew Navi, who knew Link, of course. And then I was like, 'Yo.' And he was like, 'Sup?' and—"
"Okay okay, I get it."
"So how do you know Link? All I know is that he was fighting a giant tree with Navi..."
"Uhmm… he's my father." Zene said, frowning at Jessey.
"So you're the child!"
"Well, I'm A child..."
"A child?!"
"Yeah… I mean, other Hylians have kids too, you know.."
"REALLY?!"
"No, she's lying." Daymond growled into his sandwich.
"Jessey, will you… uh.. go away?" Herry asked, looking at the ground.
"Why? … OH! Herry has a cruuuuuuuuuush!" Jessey giggled.
"Huh. I figured this would happen eventually." Odie said, as he stopped running, Ron running past him, oblivious. Odie walked back over to Herry, patting him on the shoulder. "This time it's real, and she's not going to lure you to her cave and eat you, right?"
"That only happened once! It wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know she was a giant vampire bent on conquest who wanted to eat Hera and I?" Herry grumbled, blushing furiously, Zene was just smiling politely.
"Aww…" Atlanta cooed, clasping her hands together; Archie glared at her.
"Shut up." Archie demanded, folding his arms across his chest. Apparently he still wasn't impressed with Daymond.
"NO YOU SHUT UP! Aww…"
"AND THAT'S WHY YOU DO NOT OGLE AT STRANGE WOMEN!" Theresa growled, slapping Jay across the face as she turned to Aurora. "No offence, by the way."
"None taken. Happens all the time." Aurora said, waving her hand off-handedly. "Keep hitting him for all I care. Make him learn his lesson! Daymond agrees."
"…What?!"
"Yes. See – Daymond agrees."
"I do no such thing…"
"Sure ya do!!"
"… Why?"
"Because you love me and she's slapping Jay."
"WOOT! YOU GO GIRL!"
"That's probably the most energetic response you'll get out of him all week."
"Unless you tickle him!" Jessey chirruped, appearing over his shoulder.
"Touch me and die."
"…Anyway. Why are you 'Aww'-ing, Atlanta?" Theresa asked, walking over to the other girl. Atlanta pointed at Herry, who was still blushing as he stammered at Zene, who was smiling brilliantly, as if amused that someone so strong could be scared of a midget elf such as herself. Theresa smirked.
"Cute. Atlanta, let's take her shopping. Leather tunics don't fit in in this day and age."
"I totally agree. Hey, Elfie!"
"… H-her name's Zene." Herry growled at Atlanta, frowning slightly.
"Whoa. Calm down there, Romeo." Theresa laughed. "Zene, come with Atlanta and I – we're gonna take you shopping – your tunic makes you stand out."
"All right." Zene said, smiling at Theresa as she stood up and dusted herself off and walked over to Atlanta and Theresa.
"This is going to be fun." Atlanta said, her hands behind her head, making an upside-down 'v' shape.
--
ANFTA:
Me: Wow – is that really a seven page chapter in MSWord?!
Myself: HOLY CRAP!
Zene: Crap is not… Holy….
Herry: Y-yeah!
Me: Herry, don't hurt yourself.
Herry: Eh..?? –blush-
Myself: Aww… so cuuuuuuuuute… -giggle- What's our word count?
Daymond: … you have issues. Why do you want to know the word count? You all ready know that this is the longest chapter yet… just because you couldn't stop writing, Me, doesn't mean that you have to bore us with your word count.
Me: But it's a lot of words….
Myself: YEAH! You Grinch!
Daymond: … You know what… I'm going to go sleep until Christmas is over.
Myself: GOOD!
Me: oO;;
Jessey: WORD COUNT WORD COUNT! –chants-
Aurora:
Odie: Your word count is… -checks- 1,972. Congratulations.
Myself: OH MY GOD!
Me: Oh joy. No wonder my fingers hurt…
Myself: I wonder if we can get 2,000 words…
Me: Well… We only needed five more when you asked…
Myself: OH MY GOD 2,000 WORDS!! PARTY!
Me: Or we could just… not… and we could just get ready for chapter seven…
Myself: We could do that, too!
Odie: The final word count is 2,043, so you know.