Author's Note: i feel like i've been neglecting you guys im sorry lol i've been really busy but here you go :)

For once in a long time, I woke up on my own. No alarm clocks, no annoying cell phone, no too-bright suns, just waking up because I was done sleeping. I rubbed my eyes, then remember Clare had spent the night. My head began to whirl. It felt so much like a dream, but in the pit of my stomach, I knew that it was true.

I didn't want to wake her because I had no idea when she had last slept, so I started making breakfast. Bacon and eggs - keeping it simple. When I was just about done, she walked into the kitchen - her clothes clinging to her. She was rubbing dull mascara and eyeliner away from her eyes and her hair was more crazy than before. I smiled at her. "Morning, sunshine,"

She didn't respond - just sat down at the table and picked up a fork. She started twirling it in her fingers.

"Hungry?" I asked, pulling the pan off the stove.

She nodded and I slid two eggs onto her plate. She reached over and grabbed some bacon. I took out two glasses and filled them with milk, then sat down across from her.

"Thank you," She said before digging in.

I smiled. "You're welcome. When was the last time you ate anyway?"

"Before last night? I'd say about four days ago. I'm usually too high to remember that I'm hungry,"

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I had nothing to say to that.

We ate in silence - neither of us knowing what to say. It's not like I knew her that well before and the fact that she had changed so much made it way more awkward to have a conversation.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" She asked, finishing the rest of her milk.

"No, go ahead," I put a couple more pieces of bacon on my plate.

After I was finished eating, I cleand up the table and went into my room to change.

Clare was standing next to my bed, bare naked, staring at her clothes.

"Whoa, uh, I'm sorry," I muttered, covering my eyes and looking down.

"Don't be sorry," she said. "It's your room,"

"What, uhm, what exactly are you doing?"

"Considering putting my clothes back on. I've been in them for five weeks now,"

I sighed and walked over to my dresser, throwing a pair of boxers and a t-shirt on the bed. "Here, wear these. I'll throw your clothes in the wash," I walked over, carefully avoiding her body, and took her clothes.

They smelled like cocaine and beer and cigarettes and dirt and anything else you can think of. I threw them in the washer, then walked back into my room. She was snorting coke off of her hand again.

"You gotta stop that," I said.

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me?"

"Me," I said. "I'm going to make you. I'm not gonna let you throw the rest of your life away,"

Clare laughed. "Take a look around, baby, it's already thrown out!"

"You can still clean yourself up and go home,"

"Like I want to," She scoffed and poured more cocaine onto her palm.

I walked over and smacked her hand, the white powder falling onto the carpet.

"What the fuck?" She yelled and stood up. "Do you know how much that costs? Do you know what I had to fucking do to get that coke?"

"I don't care," I said, shrugging.

"Fucking dick," She mumbled and started towards the door. I put my arm out in front of her. "What now?"

"I'm not letting you go back out into the streets. You're staying here,"

"You can't fucking make me stay here, Eli. Move,"

"No,"

She slapped me across the face. I was stunned by it and the backlash made me drop my hand. She pushed me out of the way and walked out the front door, slamming it. I sighed and grabbed my car keys just as it started to thunder.

Author's note: what even? irdk.