5
The idea came to me when I had no preparedness.
That was a day I finished my class, walked into the hall. Then I heard one teacher who passed me said "….one person's retina could transplant to two people. each retina for one person. People can live with one eye have seeing. It's not…."
My blood was boiling, my face was burning. Yeah, yeah, it is. Have no donator doesn't matter. Waiting list doesn't matter. I am a person who can live with one eye.
I came to hospital right after my work finished. I got into the Dr. Jones's office and told him I want to be a donator.
He refused me. Of course he would. It didn't matter. I wanted to give Rachel my eye, then I would do anything to make it happen. I have money, I inherited a fortune from my grandpa two years ago, I didn't use it. I could donate the hospital so that they would accept my project.
"Ms Fabray, I have to refuse your suggest. It's your willing to donate our hospital, but I can't accept your project."
"Why do you say you can't? It's legal. An organ donator could be a person who alive. Both of my eyes are good. They can see for miles. Giving Rachel one retina is not unaccepted, I can live with one eye."
"What if any accident happen, just like what happened to Rachel? And with one eye, do you realize how much you would have some difficult in fixing on position? How about in the darkness, imaging you will reduce the seeing degree because of losing one eye."
"It's ok. I will be careful, and everyone has some difficulty and diseases. My seeing degree may reduce, just as some myopic. It will be ok, it's not so difficult to live with. But Rachel is blind. How would she go with it? She wants to be an actor, she wants to go to Broadway and storm over it. She has a gift. She is talented, genius! You must have listened her singing…." I paused, for the first time of whole time, my eyes were watering up, finally. Dr. Jones's face was unclear, I only could see his glasses glinting, reminded me of the shimmering light in one's eyes. "She must be the star, she will be. All it takes is that you sign this contract. You would bring light to Rachel. Rachel, the girl who still smiles at you when she cannot see you, the girl who is so king and sweet, the girl who sings her heart out, who writes her heart upon her sleeves, the girl who cried to sleep just because she was suffering from a stupid, terrible person but she never ever mention her to her parents. "
I wiped my tears away, seeing the doctor looked down at his desk and sighed. He took off his glasses, wiped them with hem of his white clothes. When he put glasses back and looked at me, I knew I succeeded.
He sighed again, then looked at me in the eyes, "May I know that why you do such a sacrifice to Rachel? You never got into her room, you didn't talked to her and you don't want us mention you to her. You bring her flowers and CDs and whatever , you watched her all days like the world doesn't exist. Now, you just give her you own retina. Why do you do this? "
Why? Why. I ask myself. Until now I ask myself, now I realize it was so complicated. Pleading the doctor, begging him to give my eye to Rachel. Why?
"I don't know.." I murmured.
"Do you want the Berrys to know it was you?"
"No." I say firmly. "Don't tell them, especially Rachel. She hates me, and I ….."
And I …. Just at this second, the memories fulfill my mind. I closed my eyes. I see Rachel in her plaid skirt, brushed some hair behind her ear beaming at me. That's when we first meet. Rachel was 13 and I was 14. She has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seem, she has the brightest and warmest smile I have ever see. She is the girl I played jokes when we were young. She is the girl I tortured for a whole year.
She iss the girl who has a heart for every human and animal. She is the girl I grew to knew more when she was far far away from me than she was actually with me in the same place. She iss the girl who can sing me into smile and tears. She is the girl who I talked to every single night and day.
She is the girl I will do anything only to make her look at me.
She is the girl I liked at first sight, the girl I had a crush on when she cried over a steak, the girl I fell for when she slapped me on arm grinning and saying, "you're so cheesy, Quinn."
She is the girl, who I don't realize I have loved for exactly four years.
I love her.
She hates me.
It's not fairytale. It's reality. I will do anything for her, but she will still hate me.
She would never look at me. But it's ok. She can see again, with my eye. And I can see her too. We shared my eyes, and she would never know. Quinn or Lucy, they will exit her life. They will not show up again. It's for the best. No heartbreaking anymore. No tears shed of her gorgeous eyes anymore.
But it's ok. It's fair. She can see again and I know my heart. I would never regret my decision. It's the destiny.
The moment I woke up I open my eyes. Well, it's not much different from before. I can see clear. I used one hand cover each of my eyes to check that my left retina already transplanted. I felt peaceful, and joyful. Until the dizzy feeling was gone, I pushed the calling bell. Doctor Jones was right here two minutes later.
"How, " I cleared my dry throat, "how is Rachel?"
"She is fine. Just wake up as well. She can see now, not so clear. Wait some phase of adjusting passed, she would see as clear as you are. I came from her room. Do you want to see her? " he looked at me with a little sad smile. "She will going back to sleep half an hour later. And I told her to resting her eyes more. She won't see you."
"Thank you." I whimpered.
"Oh, don't cry." I can hear his sorry for me. He put his hand on my shoulder. "You are fine. Rachel is fine. It's what you want, isn't it? "
"It's happy tears." I told him.
"A little much, uh? " he chucked a little. And I followed. I was so happy. When I saw Rachel through the window I smiled softly at the sight. I can see the smile on her face. She didn't frown. I loved the sight, how peaceful and lovely she is. She is breathtaking. She is heartbreaking.
Rachel was out of the hospital four days after the surgery. I hide behind the building cross the street, seeing her laughing with her fathers. She still had to walk slowly, but she was recovered from the accident.
I was happy now. I will always be happy when I thought of Rachel was back to fine and on the way to her dream, becominga star. When I look up to the sky, I always smile. Perhaps one day I will get over her, perhaps one day I will fall in love again. At that time, I will go after my love instead of ignoring my real feeling. I will fight for them. Perhaps at that time, I will be loved back.