8
I was still waiting for Rachel. And something changed. Rachel knew me was there. She would glance around when she got out the theatre, I knew she was looking for me. And I didn't waste time to hiding. I wanted her to see me. With the long, silent, dark distance, her eyes glimpse at me then looked away. Sometimes, when she got into the cab, she straightened up to look at me, who standing across the street leaning against the street lamp. In those several seconds, I smiled at her, I had no idea whether she saw the smile or not, but I smiled. Sometimes I thought I saw her looking at me with thoughtful eyes, her hand on the cab door lifted up a little as if trying to wave at me.
It must have been imagine. But Rachel was always so polite. Even though I was the person insulted her in high school, causing her run away from a café shop and hit by a car, she still came to me and save me. What if it was not imagine? I really had no idea what to do, how to respond.
Two months later, the air in the night became to warm up. I can smell the summer was coming. I was waiting again, remembering the Spanish appendix of irregular verbs. People passed by me, it's the time the casts were about to appear. I waited patiently, seeing Rachel as her usual routine, saying goodbye to them and went to the cab.
She stopped at the door, said something to the driver. The car drove away.
There was nothing between us, I saw her looked straight to me.
We stood like that. I leaning against the lamp, smile faded.
She walked cross the street, direct to me.
"Hi." she greeted me a little uncertain.
"Hi." I said back, straight up.
After a few heavy minutes, she said, "do you want some coffee?"
I blinked several times, unsure if I heard right. "Yeah.. Sure.."
She nodded a little, "come with me."
She leaded the way, I followed like a puppy finally find her master. I saw her from behind. She was still short, under the average, she was slim. She wear a pair of tennis shoes, a black design dress hug her well. Her long brown hair waving and reflecting the light like silk. She was beautiful. And became more beautiful every single day.
We walked pass two block and go into a small coffee shop. She stoped and looked up at me, "Hot Latte with cinnamon ,no sugar?"
I nodded. Until her ordered I realized that she remember what I said to her when we were web friends. A silly smile crossed my eyes. How easily did I get happy?
I rushed to the casher wanted to pay. "My treat." Rachel simply said. I said nothing, waiting for our coffee. I got the coffee followed Rachel to a table.
She sipped her black tea, looking outside the window. I cupped my coffee, uneasy about the situation. I glanced at her and the room, I didn't know what to say.
"How was your day?" she suddenly asked, looking at me.
"Good." I replied. After thought, I added, "my job tired me."
"You got a job? Didn't you go to college?"
"I did. I am in NYU. Study in literature." I remembered that she already knew that, "I got a part-time job at Mcdonald's. "
She smiled softly, "Great."
"How was your day?"
"As usual, rehearsal. I went to the helps to build camps for homeless men, and went to the central park fed the pigeons." She peered at the window thoughtful. "I thought it's you who sent me to the hospital. I heard you before I was unconscious. But when I woke up my dads said you were gone."
I looked down at my hands, and then looked at the window. I saw her reflection in it.
"Yeah. I sent you to hospital, I left until you fathers went there. "
"Didn't come back?" she saw me in the mirror-like window.
I averted my sight, "no."
She nodded.
Then we went back to daily life. Our talk were short, Rachel's always longer than me, but not as long as her usually speech. I tried so hard to keep myself from staring at her. I glanced at her in the mirror-like window, I glimpsed at her through my lash, I peered at her when she smiles at me. The warmness in the room brought some flush to her check. I tilted my head to see clearly.
Everytime she smiled, everytime she amused waved at me, everytime she laughed throwing her head back, I can't help but raised the corners of the mouth. I felt so silly and childish. But I was happier more than ever. I felt so completed from the first time in my life. Even happier than the time I arrivedNew Yorkwith an idea that I was in the same city with Rachel.
Out little chat last to the mid-night. Rachel got her purse, I walked her to her cab, looking her went away.
Day by day, night after night, Rachel may wave at me when she saw me standing somewhere. And where I stood waiting for her was become more near the theatre. I didn't need to hide myself, I can receive her smile, her wave. I can see her clearly, the glinting in her eyes.
Sometimes, Rachel came to me and we went to the same coffee shop to get something warm, chatted about the weather and how about each other's day. I still followed her every twitter so I already knew hers. To my surprise, she enjoyed my boring daily life. Or maybe it's because I talked about it in an entertaining way. I was good at words.
I got some article published. Though they were not onNew Yorktime, they were in some literary magazines. So I insisted that payed the coffee each time after my works published. Rachel was happy for me, I knew that she was sincere. The way her eyes shined was no way to mistake.
But my poor precious time was not frequently. Other nights, after I received nothing but a glance, I went to the bar nearby, got drunk, got laid with any pretty brunette.
I think this will be the rest of my life. Rachel and I was acquaintanceship, and that is enough for me. I slept with every same type brunette when I horny and drunk, never loved another one and never be loved back. I rejected some kindly sweet girl, who trying to rescue one hopeless dispirited blonde. I refused to let anyone love me. I refused be loved, if I would never be loved by the only one I loved.