Rachel woke to an empty bed, her hand reached out and played at the cold sheets beside her, she sighed and buried her head into the pillow that had been Quinn's, she could barely pick up her scent, but it was there. She groaned and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling, her thoughts as always, consumed with Quinn. She'd messed up, that much was obvious, but she didn't know how to make any of it right again. Still a little stunned that Quinn had walked out, she made her way into the kitchen, checking her answer machine on the way, her Dads voices filled the room, wishing her and Quinn a happy new year and it only compounded her sorrow. She made a fresh pot of coffee, only to scald her tongue in her eagerness to drink it. 'I will not cry.' She told herself, but a tear had already made it's way down her cheek. She defiantly wiped it away and picked up her cell.

"Hey, you free?" she asked.

"I am, but why I should be available after you ran out on my party is another matter Ms Berry." Jesse scolded her.

"Meet me in 30, the coffee shop on the corner?"

"Sure, you okay?" Jesse's asked confusedly. "I thought it was all Quinn for the next few days?"

"I'll tell you when I get there." Rachel said before ending the call, she rushed to get changed and out onto the street, she didn't want to be in the apartment a minute longer, it just felt so empty without Quinn there today and that fact surprised her the most.

"I want to know everything." Jesse demanded the second he saw her, he was sat at their usual table with Rachel's coffee ready and waiting and she mouthed 'thank you.' Before taking a sip.

"She left," Rachel couldn't hide her sorrow. "went nuts and then left. I'm guessing she got a flight or a hotel, shit I have no idea, but she told me to think things over and left, I should call her..." Rachel scrambled in her bag for her cell but Jesse reached out and stopped her.

"What the hell did you do?"

"She heard me talking to you, what did I say Jesse?" she pleaded.

Jesse grimaced and then placed his hand on top of Rachel's. "Well, you pretty much said that you had sex with her in Lima because you needed to prove to yourself that she was worth being with, that's how I interpreted it anyway, and then you also said that it hadn't proved anything."

"Fuck." Rachel slumped back in her chair. "I didn't mean that. I really and I mean really like her."

"Then fight for her Rachel." Jesse stood in a display of camaraderie, but she knew she was being mocked and just rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't know what to do."

Jesse sat forward and took both of Rachel's hands in his. "Do you want her? Do you love her?"

Rachel tried not to make eye contact, she wasn't ready to answer those questions even to herself, but a firm squeeze as Jesse tightened his grip made her look up. "I care about her a lot. She makes me feel so good and yes, I do want her."

"I so don't need to know about your sex life." Jesse joked.

"I didn't mean that, but yeah that too." Rachel couldn't help but smirk. "She's Quinn Fabray, the girl I wanted as a friend throughout high school, she's now a Hollywood hotshot and wanted by everyone, yet she likes me. It's a lot to get my head around."

"And?" Jesse pushed.

"I'm so scared." Rachel whispered, her own honesty ripped through her.

"Why? You are Rachel Berry, you know what you want and you get it."

"It's not so simple when it comes to Quinn, nothing is and it never has been. We did a dance at school and it was a mess. She had Finn, I had Finn. Now it turns out all we both wanted was each other and that just seems crazy."

"So Q is right, you do need to figure some things out."

"I do and I don't. I know more than I want to, I know I lo..I like her and I know that she makes me feel so good, that hearing her voice each day has been the thing I have lived for these last few months and I know that the five years in between, well I missed her. Not everyday, but if I thought about feeling sad it was her. It was Quinn that I missed and then that letter came and I had no choice but to go and see if what had been in my head was actually real."

"And was it?"

"Yes."

"So why are you sat here talking to me instead of flying to the West coast and kissing and making up with Grace Kelly?"

"Because..."

"Yes?"

"Because she's still Quinn and that terrifies me."

"I don't believe you."

"Fuck you."

"You won't! That's the problem." Jesse quipped before holding Rachel's gaze. "You are a passionate woman, stop being so scared of it."

"What if she..."

"Doesn't feel the same? I think she does, but do you need proof?"

"Maybe, I know she said all the right things, but saying them is one thing, showing is another and when I went to see her, well she was so different Jesse, she was guarded and I felt insecure and I can't help that I felt that, I wish I hadn't but it was there and I don't know if that's how she will always be."

"You'll have to find out, you can't just not try because of someone putting up walls. From what you've told me, Quinn is the queen of defenses so you will have a lot of walls to climb before she falls in love with you."

"I..." Rachel closed her eyes, she knew Jesse was right. "Well, the 2000 mile wall is soon going to disappear, so maybe that's a start."

"It is and if Quinn doesn't sweep you off your feet when you arrive, well then you'll have to be sure to wear lots of short skirts."

"Huh?"

"Rachel honey, Quinn Fabray has been ogling your legs for years, even I noticed it all those years ago, I just didn't realise why."

"She did?" Rachel grinned at the thought of Quinn checking her out and made a mental note to pack some short skirts and denim shorts.

As they left the coffee shop Jesse hooked his arm in Rachel's.

"And proof would help?" he asked just as they were waiting to cross the road.

Rachel's brows knitted together at his question. "of?"

"Quinn's romantic intentions...a bit of jealousy could do the trick?" He mused as Rachel pursed her lips, still not sure what he was on about.

"It'd help to know what she felt I suppose...and she always seemed the jealommphhh" Rachel was cut short as Jesse's lips suddenly met hers. The kiss left her stunned, when she realized what was happening she quickly pulled away, using her hands to push him off but he just laughed and it only made her mad.

"What the hell?" she screamed at him, but her words were lost in the New York traffic as a bus screeched to a halt at the stop sign, before she could berate him further Jesse had grabbed her arm and pulled her across the road.

"Just wanted to prove something." He said smugly when they got to the other side, ignoring Rachel's flapping hands and outcry as he continued to walk.

"I don't want that, not with you."

"But with Quinn? Maybe I just did you a favor." Jesse smirked. He'd seen the pap from across the street and knew a kiss between him and Rachel would make it to print. He knew he was was hot and Rachel was an up and coming star, so if Quinn Fabray needed a push, then he was sure this would work.

xxx

Rachel couldn't be bothered to make sense of Jesse so she left him on the corner and went back to her apartment, she began to pack her bags, but her mind never strayed far from thoughts of Quinn. Talking to Jesse had helped, she knew she couldn't not be around Quinn, she liked her too much. He was annoying and the kiss was unwarranted but he did help her see sense, she just wished she'd seen some before she'd let Quinn walk out of her apartment the night before.

Rachel had wanted to be close to Quinn for so long that she thought she'd rushed into things, she'd always waited in her past relationships, but with Quinn she just felt she needed to be with her, the desire she felt was as frightening as it was amazing. The last few months had been the best she'd ever known, but their time together had been so sparse and it only made the interactions incredibly intense and it was because of this that Rachel hadn't wanted to trust that her feelings were genuine, it didn't make sense to feel so strongly about someone so soon, yes she had known Quinn for years, but this development in their relationship was four months old and the actual time spent together in that time amounted to mere days.

Maybe she had wanted it too much and now she had messed things up, the thought of not being with Quinn hurt and that was enough for Rachel to know she had to get to the West coast and make it right.

xxx

It was another two days before her flight, Kim had grilled her before she left, but she barely paid attention to what the woman said, she had two things to do and she could easily handle the work side of things. Quinn was another matter entirely and she wasn't about to let Kim in on the latest developments, knowing it would only lead to a conversation or criticism she wasn't ready to hear. She put New York out of her mind as she made her way out of LAX and was glad that Kim had booked her a car, with someone on hand to help her with her excessive amounts of luggage.

After an hour stuck in traffic on the 405 she was finally at her rented accommodation, after finding places to store her things, she took a long hot shower and then made the call. It had been three days since she saw Quinn and she'd not been in touch in that time. It was the first time they'd not spoken on a daily basis, but she hoped a bit of time would have been good for them both. Quinn had been mad and she'd also been right. Rachel didn't want to make contact until she knew she could answer Quinn's questions and she also knew she couldn't do that on a phone, not when she was so far away. Quinn picked up after the third ring.

"Hey." Her voice filled Rachel's ears and made her smile.

"I'm here." Rachel announced boldly but was met with silence. "Maybe we could talk?" she added hesitantly.

"I can do something tomorrow." Quinn was short and Rachel tried to ignore it.

"That would be lovely, do you want to come here? I can cook?"

"Yeah, send me the address. What time? I should finish on set by 6pm."

"Be here about 7.30pm. It'll be nice to see you again."

"OK."

"Quinn?"

"Rachel..."

"I know we parted on bad terms and maybe I should have called you, but you said to think about it and..."

"I see you did that." Quinn replied curtly.

"I did." Rachel was confused why Quinn was being so off.

"I saw."

"Saw what?"

"Nothing. I'll be there tomorrow. You can tell me to my face. Night."

"Night..." Rachel replied but the line was already dead.

xxx

Rachel spent the next day trying to familiarize herself with the city, but it wasn't happening. She'd collected her hire car that morning and felt brave enough to take it for a spin, mostly because she was too scared to use public transport, it wasn't as hectic as New York, but she was still a little jittery and a few drivers had honked their horns while she did some questionable maneuvers, but finally she managed to get some groceries and chose a good bottle of red for their dinner, then remembered Quinn would probably drive and she didn't want to be presumptuous that she'd stay, so she put it back and decided tonight would probably better be done sober anyway.

Tales of the never ending sunshine were soon forgotten when she got caught in a torrential downpour just as she got back to her place, rushing to and from the car, she ended up soaked to the bone and shivering. Drawing a long hot bath, she climbed in and let it wash her thoughts away.

An hour later and she was busy getting the dinner ready. At 7pm her nerves kicked in and she regretted not getting the wine. By 7.45pm she was pacing the small living area and at 8pm she was collapsed on the couch, trying not to let her anxiety consume her.

Finally at 8.06pm there was a knock at the door and she ran to open it.

"Hi." Quinn half smiled as Rachel opened the door.

"I was getting worried." Rachel took the wine that Quinn had brought and was eternally grateful, as she rushed to the kitchen and rummaged for a corkscrew.

"Filming ran on and then the traffic...I'm sorry I'm a bit late." Quinn shrugged as she followed Rachel.

"This is a really nice bottle." Rachel poured a glass and began to pour a second, but Quinn's hand moved over the empty glass that Rachel had placed on the table.

"Not for me, I just thought I should bring something, but I'm driving and don't want a late night and stuff."

"Stuff." Rachel mumbled. "Soda? Coffee?"

"A coffee would be great, I can barely keep my eyes open this week. Mmm that smells good." Quinn gravitated towards the stove as Rachel lifted the lid on the saucepan.

"I hope it tastes good." Rachel offered Quinn the spoon to taste and as a little sauce dripped onto her chin, she couldn't resist wiping it away, Quinn slightly leant into her touch before closing her eyes and Rachel didn't miss the pained expression that ghosted across her features, it was quickly replaced by a fake smile and Rachel felt her heart drop.

"I love your cooking." Quinn said through the smile and Rachel turned away. She stirred the sauce and then took a large swig from the glass of wine she'd just poured. Quinn was obviously still upset with her, Rachel had noted there had been no kiss as she greeted her, but this was just the start of the evening and she knew she had some making up to do.

"It's ready, I've just been keeping it warm, but we could talk and then..."

"No, lets eat. We don't want to ruin it and I'm starved, I only had a salad at lunch."

"Great, I've cooked a lot." Rachel topped up her wine before she served their dinner. Quinn barely spoke as she ate, just words of praise or thanks, Rachel decided to play along.

"Delicious. Thanks for inviting me." Quinn said as she cleared her plate.

"Quinn can we stop?" She'd finally reached her limit of platitudes and knew it was time to say something.

"Stop what?"

"Fine." Rachel huffed. "I'm sorry you heard what I said, I'm sorry I did the things I did and I wish you hadn't run out of New York, but we're here now and I want to make things right, I have so much to say, so many things..."

"That's just super Rach." Quinn said sardonically.

"Quinn, I'm trying to make things better, why are you being so difficult?" Quinn just scowled at her. "Look, I know I didn't call but really what is your problem?"

"My problem? Fuck Rachel." Quinn turned her face away, before looking back, her anger still visible even though she had tried to hide it. "I said figure out your feelings and you sure did."

"I did." Rachel grinned, but it soon faded when she was met with Quinn's dry laugh.

"I can see." Quinn paused and took a deep breath before looking at Rachel solemnly. "Look I'm happy to still be friends and I want to be around for you when you are in L.A. because I know how empty and lonely it can be. I still care for you deeply, but I can't carry on being messed about. So it's best we just forget and move on."

Rachel felt like she'd been hit in the stomach, her hands moved to the place she'd thought she'd taken the blow, gripping it as she tried to make sense of Quinn's rebuff. She tried to swallow the lump that had quickly formed in her throat but struggled, Quinn's eyes were locked on her, cold as ice, almost. Rachel could see something flicker behind the hazel glare, Quinn's acting still had the same flaws as when they were younger, she reached out her hand but Quinn swiftly removed hers from the table.

"I can't forget and move on, Quinn please, don't do this. I wanted to make things right. I spent the last few days in New York figuring it all out and I wanted to wait to tell you until I was face to face."

"I already know, everyone knows."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why do you insist on playing games? Do you think you can just do that behind my back?"

"Do what?"

"Rachel?" Quinn pleaded, but Rachel just looked at her confusedly, she shook her head in resignation. "I saw the pictures."

Quinn stood from the table and reached into her bag, pulling out a copy of the magazine that had been haunting her. She threw it onto the kitchen table, stopping to look at Rachel's face as she took in the image in front of her, before turning on her heel and making her way towards the front door, slamming it shut, she walked out for the second time in the last few days, leaving Rachel in a stunned silence. The photo of Jesse kissing her in New York staring back at her from the table under the heading 'Broadway Lovers share a walk and kiss on New Years Day'.

xxx