"John, you've got to stay with me." James was clutching John's blood streaked hand in his own, begging him to hold on. "We've got things to do; you've got to tell me all about those kids of yours. What were their names?" James remembered of course, but it didn't matter, John had to keep fighting. The TARDIS shook violently as Gallifrey rumbled and groaned beneath them, but he didn't care, couldn't care about any of that.
"Sarah," John's voice was hoarse and blood leaked out from the corner of his mouth. "She's so much like her mother. And Mickey-" He started to cough and James tightened his grip, blinking back his tears. Rory had done his best, he had found bandages in the TARDIS and patched John up quite neatly, but it didn't seem to be enough.
"His blood pressure is still dropping," Rory pulled the stethoscope from his ears and looked apologetically at James. "I think he's bleeding internally." It was difficult to look at James, his eyes filled with such desperation. "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do." Rory lowered his gaze, unable to stare into those eyes that now filled with so much pain. James swallowed, fighting the urge to scream and shout about the unfairness of it all. But he knew it wasn't Rory's doing, and so he just nodded once, the defeat washing over him like a cold shower. "Sorry." Rory repeated once more before stepping back, giving them a moment alone. James returned his attention to John who seemed to have stopped coughing.
"Yeah, what's Mickey like? Is he like his dad?" James asked, trying to plaster a brave smile to his face. John was having trouble speaking, the blood gurgling up between his lips, so he just nodded. He turned to the side and spat, crimson spraying across the TARDIS' floor. "It should have been me." James helped John sit up and cradled his head in his arms. "I'm sorry, it should have been me." He kept shaking his head, the strain fracturing his carefully constructed mask.
"Rose," Was all John could say before another coughing fit overtook him.
"Oh gods." James ran his hand down his face. He hadn't thought it could be any worse, watching this man die in his arms. But there was more to consider than just his own sense of loss. "What can I tell her? Oh god, what do I say to Rose?" John gripped his shirt then, staring up at him with pain-streaked eyes. He pulled him close and struck him with his forehead using surprising force. James was momentarily stunned by the display of strength, but it faded as he crumpled back into his arms. And then the memories flooded into him like a tidal wave. Sarah's favorite color ribbon for her hair, Mickey's collection of action figures, their favorite places to hide when they were sneaking about the house, Rose's habit of tearing up old receipts. It was the whole of John's life since that day he had been created on the TARDIS. It made it all the more painfully clear what he had missed. James had done so much more in his time, and yet it now seemed so insignificant. So meaningless. "Why? Why are you showing me?" He felt his face contorting with his misery, John's eyes fluttered as raised his hand and patted James' cheek with a weak smile. And then he understood. "No," He shook his head resolutely, angry tears falling from his eyes. "I won't do that; I won't take that from you. John, she doesn't love me anymore. I've seen it in her eyes, she loves you. You have to stay. You must!"
"James," John still smiled but what little life there was in him was trickling away faster. "You're going to be a father." The words didn't make sense, and then it felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room. He saw it, the small bulge in Rose's belly, the feeling of life kicking away inside, the hope that it brought. There was going to be a baby.
"I can't…" James gasped, shaking his head. "Oh, I just can't. You're better; you're a better version than I ever was. Oh John, I can't replace you."
"For Rose." John took a deep ragged breath. "Have to be-" His eyes rolled back in his head and he choked out the last. "Better." A long shuddering sigh followed the word, and John fell limp in his arms.
"Don't you dare," James threatened, shaking him once. But John's eyes remained shut and he did not stir. "I'm sorry." He gathered him up in his arms then, unwilling to let him go. He clenched his eyes shut and sobbed, rocking John in his arms. "I'm so sorry." He whispered again, his voice just as broken as his spirit.
A/N: As a side note, I do actually like meta crisis. But I also like killing characters...soooo...yeah.