Chapter 4

Days before Ace's Departure

"He found out," I whispered and held my shoulder. It stung. My father had never used his devil fruit against me, but out of some cruel reminder he had placed his hand on my shoulder and burned my flesh with his Ice. Five evenly spaced finger prints grazed my shoulder, a reminder to stay in my place.

Ace's eyes narrowed at the injury and Luffy's jaw dropped. They had been up in arms for days because I was dragged back into town to meet with my father. They had even come after me but by then I was released back on my own for a few more days. I had until Ace headed out to sea. I had been planning on leaving a few days after and following him somehow. I would have never dreamed that he would learn of my plans to head out to sea, and then threaten me.

"It is my fault. I stupidly wrote it down…" I trailed off thinking about the journal I had. That was the only way I could think how he had found out. No one else knew of my dream but these two. I found myself shaking as I held my shoulder tighter. The biting cold had yet to wear off and I had never felt so cold in my life. I couldn't bring a smile to my face for my two friends as we sat in the room filled with awkward silence.

"Jamie," Ace said quietly scooting closer to me. The way he said my name caused me to relax slightly. It was the same determination I often borrowed when I was away from them. It was determination that made us strong. I wasn't sure what he was determined about and I wasn't in the mood to ask.

"I just have to wait longer. I'll delay any arranged marriage… but I have to get stronger first before I head out to sea," I told them finally lifting my chin to meet their gazes. I still shook but that was a reaction I couldn't help.

Ace's eyes were hard and held that glint in them. In this state I knew he would tear down a house with ease because of his anger. Luffy looked lost. Not really gripping why I had to wait to go out to sea all of a sudden. This was the type of thing that needed to be spelled out for him. I knew he could tell I was upset but he didn't quite get why.

And I wanted to be distracted. I didn't want to wreck the last few days I would get with these two. Life was going to change, and change fast. We would probably never get another summer as peaceful as this, all together, for the rest of our lives. Tears sprung to my eyes as I jumped forward and landed on Ace's chest. I took one shaky breath and grabbed Luffy before he had time to tease me and hugged them both.

Ace's arm's wrapped around me timidly and Luffy protested loudly that this was weird but I didn't let go until I had completely regained my composure. I didn't want them to see me cry. Crying was a weakness and I was not weak.

"Let's build a fire," I told them and stood up suddenly. Ace's face was covered in a blush and Luffy was grinning widely. "A big giant fire," I said and grabbed my shoulder again. Maybe that would shake off this awful cold feeling.

()()()()()()()

"So fire makes you feel better?" Ace asked as we poked at the dying embers. Luffy's eyes were drooping as he shoved another thing of meat into his mouth. I swear one day he would develop a way to eat in his sleep.

"Fire is better than Ice," I said quietly rubbing a salve on my shoulder. For some reason I wanted Luffy to fall asleep and this conversation be just between Ace and I. It felt like it was meant for just us. Luffy was thankfully at least busy stuffing his face with the last of the food and didn't notice this.

"Why?" he asked. He seemed a bit more curious than normal about my opinion on something. Normally Luffy was the one to hound me with questions. But normally I just confided all my thoughts to both of them. I don't think I had ever been as guarded as I was tonight with them.

I paused trying to think of the best way to phrase my words.

"Fire is warm. Love is warm. I would rather feel warm than be cold," I said simply, shrugging my shoulders. My new scars were almost shiny in the dying light the embers provided.

Ace tossed a log onto the dying heat and a fire erupted and crackled along the new log.

"Fire is destructive."

He looked at me and it felt like a challenge. I had no idea why but I wanted to change his opinion on fire.

"Fire can be contained," I said moving to rearrange the rocks around the large fire pit we had created, "and when it's contained even if it is destructive it's warm. And being warm makes people safe. It keeps them alive. Take the sun for example," I looked over at him to see him hanging on my words.

"The sun gives life to all the earth. It lets flowers and plants grow, but it can be burning hot and create deserts. It all just depends on how it's used."

Ace's eyes were burning with a passion as an idea came over him. He smirked at me and pulled me closer to him. He pressed his lips quickly on mine and then pulled away. I felt a pit of warmth form in my stomach. I would live off these stolen kisses for the rest of my life. I grinned and sat down next to the fire, feeding it another log.

"See warmth is good," I whispered to myself. Ace cocked an eyebrow, hearing me, and both of our cheeks flushed at my stupid statement. I knew he felt the same thing I had felt.

Trying to lighten the mood, I turned to Luffy's now sleeping figure and chucked a rock at him. He blinked and sat up and chuckled about how that didn't hurt, before scooting closer to sit with us. We all talked and laughed until the sun rose on the horizon.

Bad days can always be put behind you with close friends nearby.

Present Day

I grinned in my sleep as the ship rocked me back and forth in my sleep. It was so soothing to be out on the open sea again. Maybe part of my instability had come from being in one place for such a long time.

I didn't have haunting memories any more. Although, sometimes I would reminisce of a sweet memory when nothing else was going on, this was actually pretty rare. I would think back to when my biggest worry was escaping out to sea unnoticed by my father. The older I got the more I appreciated him. Everyone had all but forgotten that he was my father, and he had never really made much of an effort to look for me. I blame his laziness. I did worry about bumping into him at sea but it seemed like an odd chance. A select few in the Marines remembered me but no one really cared. Thanks to Ace I went by Lioness as my surname in my wanted poster.

Lioness Jamie – Wanted – 40,000,000 berri

Flashback

"You actually stood up to that crazy old man. You're like some type of beast!" Luffy exclaimed jumping up and down clearly ecstatic over the fact that I got special treatment from Garp.

"You're like the Lion and he's the Lamb," Ace teased. "Miss Lioness. Right this way if you please," he said extending his arm in mockery and leading me over a puddle. I found a shrill mocking laugh escape me.

"Oh Mr. Portgas, you are just so delightful. I could just pinch your cheeks," I mocked and made a grab for his cheeks which he dodged.

"Uhh… you two are so weird," laughed Luffy.

"Come on Ace, Lioness. The woods await us!"

And he dashed forward ahead of them.

"The woods await us?" I asked Ace, "who talks like that?"

"Don't ask me. He's so lame," Ace said shaking his head but taking off after his brother anyways. "Come on Lioness," Ace teased as he disappeared behind the tree line.

End Flash Back

It was a beautiful morning. The sun shone above as I exited the room I shared with Robin and Nami. I had actually started to be trained to read Poneglyphs in case anything should happen to Robin. In short I was her apprentice.

I wasn't useless in fights either. As the days passed I sometimes spared with Zoro or practiced throwing knives at targets with Ussop. Sometimes I relaxed and read with Robin or helped Chopper do some drug experiments with medicine. Franky never asked for help unless no one else with small hands was available but his own extension of hands was pretty useful and I had no real urge to build things. Brook would ask to see my panties and sometimes I would show him just to get a laugh at his reaction and the crew's before Nami scolded me. Nami was really the only one able to keep me in line although we often had more of a love hate relationship. Sometimes we got along very well and other times our personalities just clashed. We were too similar yet too different to get along all the time.

Since our little show down in our room we had been friendly to each other and occasionally attempted to get along for the sake of just hanging out together. We did well when we tried. Most of the time our teasing is the same as Zoro and Sanji's just something to test our intellect with a heated argument, to keep ourselves on par with each other.

Then came the day when we were exploring an island and we stumbled upon something that obviously was a devil fruit.

I found it so Luffy said I could take the risk if I wanted.

I thought of all the times Luffy went overboard and had to rely on someone else to jump in and save him. I thought of the time I had nearly drowned from an alligator and a water logged dress. I turned my nose up at the thought of being so helpless and being surrounded by such a vast sea.

"No," I said and placed it back where I found it. The rest of the crew that weren't already devil fruit users didn't want to take the chance either, and that was that.

It didn't occur to me until several days later when I was studying with Robin the real reason why I had refused the fruit.

I didn't trust berries. A berry was the reason why Ace had been so feared even without his origin being known. A berry was the reason why Ace couldn't jump into the Ocean anymore or take a swim with me out on the sea (had we ever gotten the chance). A berry was a curse. A berry had taken away from me my one true love in life. For had he not had his powerful berry he would have just been another strong pirate that the world would have ignored. A berry was bittersweet just like my ending.

Baccivorous, feeding on fruit, was the definition I had been searching for. I would never become that kind of baccivorous, and I would never have that in common with Ace. That was a temptation I would never give in to. That was a thing that set me and Ace apart. I would rely on my own strength and never a simple fruit's. Feeding on fruit was a deadly sin, and I already gave in to several deadly sins in my life. One was falling in love with a fruit. I fell in love with fire.

Days passed, adventurous came and went. The crew was as strong as ever and then one day I realized something just as terrifying as Ace's death.

I hadn't thought of him in weeks. I still love him unconditionally. I can't even begin to share all our memories because they are our memories, they are sacred treasures. And while Chopper applauds this as moving on and healing I can't help but feel as if I'm more broken because of it.

Only I'm not broken because I have my younger brother Luffy. I'm not broken because I have Chopper fixing any wound I might have. I'm not broken because I have a perverted cook named Sanji feeding me encouragement and offering me nourishment. I'm not broken because Ussop and I practice on our targets for hours on end, and Zoro and I spar or work out together to train our bodies. I'm not broken because Brook sings beautiful cheerful songs. I'm not broken because Nami and I are actually friends and like to disagree on things to test our intellect, I'm not broken because Franky built this wonderful ship that will surely never sink. I'm not broken because Robin is the most patient teacher in the world and has told me so many secrets to keep me occupied. I'm not broken because I have the Straw hats.

I'm not broken because Ace loves me and is waiting for me after this adventure.

Maybe I am baccivorous. I just only like one fruit in particular, a real fruit not a devil fruit.

Strawberries.

A/N: See I said it at the beginning of the story. This story was going to be longer than I planned on it being. Hahahaha. I wrote an Epilouge as well. I just want to let this story sit for a little bit and see if anyone is interested in reading it. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed you guys rock!