Title: Rectangles and Squares
Author: Minch
Summary: Merlin waxes philosophical. A square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle is not always a square.
Rating: K+. Nothing graphic, just a thought I had one late night and decided to write a one-shot about.
Spoilers: Everything and anything from the first four series.
Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin", or anything to do with "Merlin". BBC and Shine, Limited own it. The only thing I lay claim to are my own imagination, of course.
RECTANGLES AND SQUARES
I remember one time I overheard some ladies of the court giggling over Arthur. They all thought he was so heroic and virtuous. One said that she would marry him in an instant if he looked her way. I had to beat it before they heard my laughter. Arthur, virtuous? There is not much virtue in him when he piles chores one after the other on me.
They only know Arthur as a distant, but beloved, king of Camelot. They think that because they know him so well, or at least they think well, in one respect, they could love him forever. They have not seen his other sides.
If I had to make a list, I would probably start with the Arthur I have had to put up with ever since I came to Camelot. The prat Arthur who teases me mercilessly, even when I am doing everything exactly as I should. The clotpole Arthur who could not see magic if it was performed right in front of him, (it has been performed right in front of him on numerous occasions, but he's only caught on once or twice.) The dollop head Arthur whose royal backside I have saved so many times, I have lost count.
Then there is his fighter side. The warrior who rides into battle even if it means certain doom. The knight who asked the enemy for single combat instead of a bloody war, and then spared his opponent when he had every right to kill him. The man who would lay down his life for anyone, fellow knight or lowly servant.
The king aspect goes far deeper than those love-struck ladies could see. He is unlike any king anyone has known. He would do anything for his people, and that means all of his people, not just his nobles. He is just and fair, loath to execute when second chances, imprisonment or –p at worst– exile, are all options. He stood up for a village in a foreign kingdom against bandits. He promised equality and an end of persecution to a people his father hunted down ruthlessly. He is prophesied to reign over a united land of Albion, to usher in a time when magic is not only permitted, but embraced.
He has a friend side, too. I have seen it in him with the knights. They still respect him as their sovereign, but he is also their pal. Sometimes, surprisingly, he even shows his friend side to me. The great irony, it seems, is that one of the only times he told me plainly how much of a friend I was to him, Morgana had enchanted me to kill him.
Gaius was cleaning out some of his books a while ago. He happened to open an old geometry book to a page about how a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle is not always a square. By definition a rectangle has four sides, the parallel sides being equilateral, and four right angles. That definition also fits squares. However, all four sides of a square are equilateral, not just the parallel pairs.
All those different faces of Arthur are squares, but they are not the true rectangle of Arthur, if that makes any sense. In other words, all of those different qualities are always Arthur, but Arthur is not all of them all of the time.
What of my life? Arthur would publically say that I am a clumsy, blundering idiot servant. Privately, he might say I am loyal above all else and a true friend. Good luck trying to pry it out of him. He does not know my every square, the Dragonlord and warlock squares in particular.
Ever since my father died and I drove Kilgharrah off with a single command, I have discovered another side of myself. Before, I only spoke to Kilgharrah when I asked for advice. As he pointed out several times, I sometimes chose not to follow him advice. I made promises to him that I could not keep. But now I know of my kinship to him and his kind, of my power over him. It is a useful power to have, but one that is so easy to abuse.
Being a warlock and having magic is not just a part of me, it is me. I can never share that with him, not even when I already know him inside out. On good days it is just frustrating that he does not, and cannot yet, know the real me. On bad days, it is agonizing. But sometimes I wonder if there are faces of me that I do not want him to know. I am not certain if I want him to know Emrys.
I have come to think of Emrys as the darker side of my being a warlock. Emrys will stop at nothing to protect Camelot and her Once and Future King. He cannot stop for anything. Not even for mercy. He poisoned a friend when her magic played host to a deadly sleeping spell over all of Camelot. He killed several Sidhe when they threatened to kill him or Arthur. He caused the death of a treasure hunter when the man tried to steal a dragon egg from a booby-trapped tomb. He killed the king's traitorous uncle with a single unspoken spell.
There have been times when I am forced to betray the duties of one role in favour of another. The friend helped Arthur smuggle a druid boy out of Camelot when the warlock knew that boy is prophesied to be his doom. The servant cowers in battle so that the warlock may protect Arthur without anyone noticing. The warlock hides in plain sight while the friend lives in agony from having to lie to almost everyone he cares about on a daily basis. The Dragonlord stole keys from the servant's master so that the way to the last dragon egg could be revealed.
I fear what Arthur will do on the day he discovers the warlock. I, the most powerful wielder of magic to ever live, fear him. Rather, I fear his reaction. I know he will be upset that I hid something this significant for years, but what will he do? Will he exile me? Will he accept me for all of who I am, not just the servant and the friend?
Whatever the outcome, I live to ensure that one day Arthur will unite the land of Albion. I will be the other side of the coin till the day I die. He is my destiny, and I am his.
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I've got a few multi-chapters brewing, but I need to go on hiatus for the next few months. I'm going to be on the stage crew for Annie. So excited for Tomorrow!
Until next time, fare thee well. May your imagination never cease to exist, and may your writing continue to give purpose to your life.