A/N Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed. I'm changing the status from complete to in progress. There will be at least one more chapter after this one. I'm having fun trying to get inside the twisted mind of Gregory House.

Disclaimer I'm still slaving away for the government, so apparently, I still don't own House.

Lisa Cuddy shut her front door and trudged into the living room. She really resented having to spend her Saturday morning at the hospital. She dropped her purse and bag on the floor. She shrugged off her coat and tossed it over the back of the sofa. A sigh of exhaustion escaped as she surveyed the chaos in her normally pristine home. Dolls, Leggos, and the pieces to a tea set were scattered over the floor. The coffee table was piled high with medical journals, Dr. Seuss books and empty cups. The familiar wooden cane was leaning against the sofa.

A search of the kitchen revealed more of the same disaster. Lunch was in the oven. Pots, a skillet and various utensils were scattered over the stove top and the counters. Dirty dishes were piled in the sink. An empty milk jug and a pile of soggy paper towels adorned the bar.

Cuddy shook her head and went in search of the culprits. The sound of a deep voice singing softly drew her towards Rachel's bedroom. She stopped at the door and watched the two of them. House was sitting in the rocking chair with Rachel cuddled against his chest. She was resting her head on his shoulder and as he sang 'Hey Jude' he rubbed and patted the toddler's back. House raised an eyebrow but didn't stop singing as he met Cuddy's stare.

He finished the song and then whispered, "Are you okay now?"

Rachel nodded and House grimaced as she obviously wiped her nose on his shirt. Rachel's head shot up and she turned to the door when he said, "Your mom's home."

Cuddy smiled and crossed to kneel next to the rocker. She gave both of them a kiss before she asked, "What's going on?"

"I got owey," Rachel answered before House could.

Cuddy looked to him for an explanation. "I was reading and Rachel was playing in the living room. She tripped over something and fell and hit her head on the coffee table."

House pushed Rachel's hair back and showed Cuddy the knot above the toddler's right eyebrow that was already turning purple.

"I put ice on it and I've been checking for brain injury every thirty minutes. I started to take her to the ER; but, her pupils are equal and reactive. She never lost consciousness, she didn't vomit, and she hasn't been dizzy. I'm sorry. I should have been paying attention to what she was doing." He finished in rush and waited for the butt chewing he knew was sure to come.

Cuddy surprised him when she focused on Rachel. "Does your head hurt, Sweetie?"

Rachel shook her head and Cuddy placed a soft kiss on the bump before she instructed, "Then why don't you go put your toys away. I bet lunch will be ready in a few minutes."

Cuddy waited until Rachel slid to the floor and scampered to the living room before she sat on the floor and looked up at House.

"Cuddy…" he began only to have her cut him off.

"House, I'm not angry. I'm relieved she had you here looking after her. Yes, it could have been serious, but you knew what to do. Not every little girl is lucky enough to have a world famous diagnostician patch up their boo-boos." Cuddy could see the guilt in his expressive, blue eyes. "She's a child, House. Kids have accidents. You can't watch her every second. It could have happened if I had been here with her. Please don't beat yourself up over this."

House ran an unsteady hand over his face. "I was worried. I didn't want to have to explain that your daughter had a concussion because I suck as a babysitter."

Cuddy patted his leg. "You don't suck as a babysitter. You knew exactly what to do and you did it. I'm serious, House. I don't trust anyone else with Rachel half as much as I do you."

She stood and held out a hand to help him out of the rocker. "Now, come on. I skipped breakfast. I'm starving."

House climbed painfully from the chair and shot her a rueful look. "Rockers aren't exactly easy on a cripple."

"I'm going to go change clothes." Cuddy kissed him softly and moved to the door. She stopped in the hallway and called to her daughter. "Rachel, please bring House his cane."

She turned back to look at House as he stood with his hand pressed to his thigh. "The way you keep running around without it makes me think I need to superglue the thing to your hand."

His snort of laughter followed Cuddy down the hallway. She also heard Rachel dragging the cane down the hall. She stepped into her bedroom and leaned against the wall. She put her hand over her mouth to stifle her sigh. This wasn't the morning she had wanted or expected; but, all things considered, it could have been much worse.

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After lunch, House put Rachel to bed for her nap while Cuddy cleaned up the disaster that was her kitchen. When she finally made it to the living room, she was surprised to see that House had tidied the room. He was sitting on the sofa using her laptop. It was balanced on his lap and he was wearing the wire-rimmed glasses that Cuddy secretly found extremely sexy. His sneaker clad feet were resting on the coffee table.

Cuddy sat next to him as she asked, "Are you incapable of keeping your feet off of my antique table?"

Without looking up, he toed off his shoes and flipped them to the side. "Better?"

"Marginally." She took another look at the pricey athletic shoes. "Are those new?"

"Yep," he grunted as he typed in another web address.

She laughed as she stretched out and put her sock-clad feet next to his. "I feel like I'm dating Imelda Marcos. You have more shoes than I do."

House stopped scrolling through the website he was reading. "Until I was in college, I never had more than one pair of sneakers and one pair of dress shoes at a time. They were usually the cheapest ones John House could find."

Cuddy laid her head on his shoulder and whispered, "Bastard."

House returned to scrolling through the website. "Cuddy, can I show you something without you getting pissed at me?"

She looked up at him and smirked. "Depends on what you want to show me," she said suggestively.

He just smiled down at her. "Not that. We don't have time before the kid wakes up."

Cuddy pretended to pout. "I would have thought you of all people would have heard of this revolutionary, new idea called a 'quickie'."

House laughed one of those genuine, deep laughs that were so rare for him. "Dam, Cuddy. I always suspected you were a sex fend."

"Ha!" she exclaimed. "You're one to talk, House. Besides, I figure we're making up for the past twenty years."

He shook his head and grinned that wicked, sexy grin. "And, Little Greg appreciates that. But, I don't want to be interrupted by a cranky toddler. When I get you naked later, I intend to take my time with you."

Cuddy tried to ignore the thrill than ran through her at his husky words. "Then what did you want to show me?"

"I've already admitted I suck as a babysitter. And, we both know I don't the first thing about raising kids. I don't want you to think I'm criticizing you. When Rachel fell, I was surfing parenting sites. I was reading this."

House handed her the computer and waited quietly as she read. He could tell from her sudden intake of breath that she had reached the paragraph that had caught his attention. He concentrated on their sock clad feet as she scrolled through the rest of the site. He waited patiently as she shut the laptop and laid it on the sofa cushion next to her.

"You must have skipped class that day. I found the same thing in a couple of other sites," he remarked without any criticism in his voice.

"I was sleep deprived and stressed over missing so much time from work." Cuddy ran a shaky hand through her hair. "Well, apparently I suck as a parent."

"Hey! None of that." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer. "I'm the only one around here who's allowed to feel that way."

"But, you're supposed to limit time-out to one minute for each year of age. I made a two year-old sit for fifteen minutes." Cuddy fought the urge to either cry or scream in frustration. What must he think of her after she had tried to sound so knowledgeable about the subject? And, Rachel must have been traumatized by the experience.

"You're a wonderful mother, Cuddy." He placed a kiss to her hair. "Like you told me, they don't come with instruction manuals. I believe I'm the expert on child abuse here. I speak from experience when I say I know you didn't deliberately make the punishment too harsh."

"Are all parents this incompetent the first time?" she questioned softly.

"You aren't incompetent. You're doing a great job. Yeah, all parents screw up and this probably won't be the last time." He hugged her to his side as his brain made one of its uncanny connections. "You sentenced her to solitary confinement. I nearly let her bash her brains out. You said you weren't mad at me. Why are you mad at yourself?"

"Because…" she trailed off as she really thought about what he had said.

Cuddy could hear the smugness in his voice when he asked, "Because, you're her mother?"

"Well, yes. I should know better." She stopped and looked up at him. "Did that sound as absurd as I think it did?"

"Yep." House smiled. "Being a parent doesn't make you omniscient. We're well educated, extremely intelligent, middle-aged people who don't know jack about raising a kid. I figure the best we can hope for is that we don't screw her up as much as our parents did us."

"The poor thing." Cuddy nudged an elbow in his ribs. "And, who are you calling middle-aged?"

"The average life expectancy for a female in the United States is seventy-eight. So…" She could hear the smugness in his voice again.

"Ass." Cuddy slapped him lightly on the chest. "At least I haven't lived half a century."

House laughed before he said, "Hand me the laptop."

He opened it and returned to the home page. "I wanted to show you something else."

Cuddy watched as he entered a new search. "I hope it isn't more parenting advice. I think I've had enough for today."

"Nope." House scrolled to a picture he was looking for and then passed her the laptop. "How cool is that?"

"House?" Cuddy's eyes widened in shock. "It's a castle."

"Yep." House smiled. "A totally bitchin' castle."

Cuddy was speechless as she studied the picture. The toddler bed in the middle was topped by an arch. On the right, a staircase wound up to the second level. The left side had a slide that curved down. Turrets topped with spires that served as book cases flanked both sides of the bed. There were spires and a balcony on the second level. The entire thing was painted to look like white marble.

"House, I just planned to buy her a normal bed." Cuddy was still in shock.

"Normal beds are boring. What little girl wouldn't want her to have her own castle?" House pointed to the next picture. "Look at the arch above the bed. It has recessed lighting so when she's older she can lie in bed and read."

"This is a four thousand dollar bed." Cuddy couldn't wrap her head around the idea.

"We're doctors. Well, at least one of us is." House was interrupted when Cuddy smacked him on the chest again. "We can afford it."

"I just think this is a little extreme." Cuddy scrolled through the pictures again. "I'll need to think about it."

"Actually…" House studied his fingernails.

"House?" She leaned back and studied him. Cuddy could read all of the varied expressions of Gregory House like a book. "You look guilty. What did you do?"

"I ordered it." House tried for an innocent look. "They only had one."

"House! Tell me you didn't order a four thousand dollar bed for my daughter." Cuddy didn't know whether to be angry or worried.

"I can't. You made me promise not to lie to you again." House couldn't tell if she was angry or ecstatic. "Look, I wanted to do it. I can afford it. Consider it a make-up for the birthdays and Christmases I've missed."

Cuddy scowled. "This is too much. You have to cancel the order."

"Can't." House didn't even bother with trying to look repentant. "I already showed her the picture and it's being delivered Tuesday."

"You really are insane." Cuddy was still horrified. "I can't believe you did this."

House clicked the curser on another gallery of pictures. He clicked on the one he had seen earlier and opened it. This one, an elaborate fort, was obviously designed for a little boy.

"I saw this and thought about how much I would have liked it when I was her age," he admitted softly.

"I should be angry that you did this without talking to me first." Cuddy smiled. "Instead, I'm touched by how incredibly sweet you are."

"Let's see. I'm a marshmallow, a softie, and sweet?" House pretended to think for a few seconds. "Nope, that definitely doesn't sound like me. You must have me confused with your other boyfriend."

"Deflect all you want." Cuddy closed the computer and laid it on the coffee table. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him. "You are incredible."

House removed his wire-framed reading glasses and put them on top of the computer. He wrapped his arms around her and twisted so that he was lying on the sofa with Cuddy draped across left side. Cuddy made sure she avoided his damaged thigh. He deepened the kiss as he ran his hands under her shirt and over her back. Cuddy had the fingers of both hands buried in his hair as she tried to get closer.

"Mommy?" At Rachel's soft inquiry the adults pulled apart and looked to the side. The toddler was looking at them with wide eyes. They were both surprised when Rachel climbed up on the sofa and then laid down next to her mother on House's chest.

"Do I have Serta tattooed on my backside?" House groused as he wrapped his arm around Rachel. "Why do the two of you think I'm the most comfortable spot in the house?"

House scowled when Rachel responded, "You snuggly, Hows."

Cuddy was laughing as she said, "And, there's another perfect adjective to add to the list."

"You two are going to destroy my misanthropic reputation," he complained as he held them closer.

Cuddy placed a kiss on his whiskered cheek. "Don't worry. You're secret is safe with us."

A/N The bed will be delivered in chapter five. I hope no one expects that to go smoothly. The inspiration for the castle bed can be seen at sweetdreambed(dot)com. The deluxe model is actually $40,000. I figured even House isn't that crazy.