The Ultimate Plot Device II
"Destroy All Enemies!"
Written by Sheo Darren under threat of death from Gouki for calling him by his bastardized Capcom USA name
Conceived by Sho Tsuzuku and Sheo Darren on a boring day with too much booze at hand with Gouki within hearing range
Six
Game Over
(Hide And Seek)
Disclaimer: None of the mentioned games are mine.
Gouki felt cheated.
He had traveled to the massively-fortified, heavily-garrisoned island the Americans called "Shadow Moses" in search of worthy foes. A single foe, to be exactly, that moved quickly and eluded his hunting efforts completely.
At Shadow Moses, he found many foes, some of them briefly worthy of attention: a giant of a man carrying a monstrous multi-barrel machine gun (Gouki took several Hadokens to defeat him, the giant was pretty well-armored); a psychic who could levitate objects and read his mind (Gouki canceled out the precog advantage by simply moving much faster than the psychic could react); a sniper woman who hid in the midst of raging winter and rabid wolves (Gouki torched the whole forest that the coward hid in; those who fought from concealment did not deserve his disgust…)–
Seated upon his throne within his mighty Tower, one foul fowl-named crime boss sneezed.
"Ah, Terry seems to be calling my name in vain again. Useless."
–and a cyborg ninja armed with superhuman agility, invisibility and a katana that could cut through anything– including Gouki's fireballs. Now, that last man was a true joy to fight!
His most epic battle, of course, was against the massive robot bristling with guns and armor. (Though it was not as exciting as his fight with the cyborg ninja. Ninjas were always fun to fight. The Mugen Tenshin and Shiranui clans continuously proved that adage. So did that Strider Hiryu boy.) Gouki was impressed that the robot was immune to his attacks. Hadokens and Shoryukens could not damage its armor. Shun Goku Satsu did not affect it due its lack of a soul.
Then he figured out the one weak spot– something called "radar"–, a fact helpfully pointed out to him by the very same ninja he fought earlier. And despite his wounds, the newly-arrived ninja took out the radar before dying at the feet of the robot. Gouki gave honor to this nameless warrior by taking down the now-open cockpit with a single, well-placed Hadoken.
The pilot proved to be no pushover. He was surprisingly strong and showed no qualms about fighting Gouki hand-to-hand. In the heat of battle he declaimed demeaning lines about his brother (or clone, whatever that was) in reference to their father (or original specimen). And he did so in a very oily British accent.
That last struck a nerve. Gouki was not bothered by sibling rivalry, since he himself killed his own brother to assume the title of "The Ansatsuken Master". But he had a hard time understanding foreign languages. Especially English. Most especially British English. Heavily-accented British English.
So, to give vent to his rare annoyance, he declared three words:
"Shun Goku Satsu."
In the end, he was indeed disappointed. Disgusted, even. For each interesting opponent, there were so many who got in his way. Weak soldiers who possessed a single and simple skill: generating an island-wide alarm for all of fifteen seconds. It was a minor irritation to avoid them all so as not to waste his time and energy with them, but no true challenge to one like him. And one was so pathetic as to suddenly develop diarrhea when taken by a case of nerves.
It was almost as bad as that other island he thought to use as a training ground– which happened to be where the Japanese government sent entire classes of high school students to kill each other. Even Gouki recognized that act for the evil it was. Unskilled and inexperienced children had no place in bloody battle. What a waste of young lives. He put a permanent end to that silly exercise as well.
So now he stood, alone, bare feet sinking slightly into the sandy beach several miles from the patch of choppy blue water where Shadow Moses once jutted out of the sea, his eyes burning, his qi in turmoil.
What a waste…
Suddenly, Gouki stirred. He felt it. That aura that led him to Shadow Moses. It was here! Nearby!
He turned around. No one. He spun about in a complete 360 degree circle. Nothing.
That is, nothing aside from a big cardboard box sitting by its lonesome ten feet away.
TWITCH
Gouki blinked.
Did that box just move?
He walked over to it.
The box moved an inch away.
Very curious now, Gouki took hold of the box and lifted it up.
"!"
"Snake? Snake? Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!"
GAME OVER
CONTINUE?
E X I T
A/N: Guess which game this is from? Also, Battle Royal reference and Geese Howard Engrish quote.