A/N: Due to a massive re-write of 3/4 of this chap, it's a teensy bit late. Apologies.

MUCHO ACTION NEXT CHAP!

16. Broken

During the twenty plus years Naruto had lived on his mountain, he'd been subject to large blocks of time where he would just shut down. With limited stimulation, virtually no human contact, and an increasing boredom with the wonders of himself, his mind would simply shut down; it had nothing to occupy it. Thus disconnected, Naruto was sometimes visited by waking dreams, vivid hallucinations, or deep cognitive revelations of insight to his surroundings. True, this could generally be summed up as a flirtation with madness, but just then, with the sound of Sasuke climbing up the shaft fading away, his mind shut down abruptly and was visited by one of those revelations of insight.

There were really only two thoughts. It's over and I can't have him. They were simple thoughts, but conveyed the truth of the situation in its most basic form. It was fact beyond dispute that what he had with Sasuke was over, and that despite his feelings and all they'd been to each other, he could not have the boy.

An advantage of these disconnected fugues was that his emotions were too far out of his reach to be a factor in the thoughts he entertained. So, though Sasuke's words had gutted him, and though he was teetering on the brink of complete despair, violence, and a psychotic break, he slowly and gracefully folded his legs under him and sat down. He neither saw nor heard anything but what was going on in his own mind. And now that he was stripped of outside stimuli, the blindness he'd been laboring under was also ripped away. He was able to see and understand what had been in front of him all along.

His first instincts regarding Sasuke had been right. He was too flawed, and too old, and too set in his ways to be with the boy. Instead of following his better judgment, he'd given in to his desires. He was honest enough with himself to know that this had probably been inevitable; he'd done nothing but follow his better judgment for the 39 years of his life, there had to be one time when he followed his desires. Especially since those desires had been woken for the first time, and stoked to an unbearable pitch by Sasuke's presence. He'd fallen in love. Fallen hard. But the boy was ill-equipped to bear the brunt of his undiluted obsession. Gone so long with nothing to stimulate him, Naruto's entire focus shifted to the one source of stimulation to come along, and the sheer weight of his love, the enormity of his absorption with Sasuke, had proven too much.

Case in point, this training. So fearful was he of losing Sasuke, so sure was he that Madara would snuff out the boy's life just when Naruto had found love at long last, that he'd thrown himself into turning the boy into an invulnerable machine with a maniacal single-mindedness. Sasuke had entered his life as a precious, delicate thing to be preserved at all costs, and he himself had effectively destroyed that thing. Just as he'd known he would. Back when they had first confessed their feelings, Naruto distinctly recalled thinking that he couldn't get involved with Sasuke for fear he'd imprint his own faults and imperfections onto him. That he was too fucked up to be around Sasuke without fucking him up too, and now he had. And he'd hurt him.

He'd hurt Sasuke.

This thought alone was enough to buckle his knees were he not already sitting. Sasuke was right to run from him. And in driving him away, Naruto confirmed to himself that he was nothing- nothing- but a crazed animal deserving of seclusion and solitude.

Sasuke stormed out of the closet and was surprised to see that it was still only midafternoon. Time seemed to stretch to infinity when he was down in that room. He left the bedroom by way of the veranda, breathed deeply of the crisp air, then took off running.

It felt good to run. He was furious. Howling mad. He needed to exert himself in some way, and did so by using his chakra and streaking through the forest until he was completely winded. Only then did he stop. He climbed up one of the tall trees and settled himself in the fork of two sturdy limbs. He hugged himself for warmth, and stared out over the undulating tree tops of the rest of the forest.

For a long time, his thoughts were a jumbled mess of anger and hate. He stared into the distance, peripherally aware of the day darkening around him, until he finally blinked and realized that he was waiting for Naruto to come and apologize. He frowned down at the forest and came to the conclusion that not only wasn't that going to happen, but that Naruto was probably too mad at him to consider an apology. Naruto had shown himself to be a sickeningly tyrannical person who didn't like to be bucked. Well, Sasuke had done more than buck him. He'd told him he'd hated him. And he'd meant it. He'd fucking meant it, Sasuke told himself. He hunkered down, hunching his shoulders as a gust of wind blew against him strongly. He hated Naruto, and the ass could rot in hell if he thought Sasuke would apologize first.

Mutinous thoughts of righteous rage kept him toasty for a while, but it didn't last. Not that he wasn't capable of sustaining a grudge, he was. But away from Naruto, and with time on his hands to really think, his anger slowly faded. When it was gone, he felt…clean. The absence of bitterness and resentment that had been cooking inside him for the past few days.

He didn't feel good, not by any stretch of the imagination, but now he at least felt like his normal equilibrium could return. He'd been operating off balance for a long time; first with being so in love, then being kicked out by his brother, and then trying to navigate the world of sex, desire, and adulthood. He'd grabbed onto Naruto as the only stabilizing force around, and then had been rudely awakened to things in the man's personality he'd been unprepared for. He'd lost himself, Sasuke realized, even going so far as to define himself as someone who loved Naruto and that was it. Well, fuck it. He wasn't 'found' or anything, but he knew he was more than that.

And that was as much introspection as he was capable of for the moment. He sensed he was in a mess, knew he had a lot of thinking ahead of him, and just didn't feel like dealing with it right then. He dropped down from the tree and started walking.

He was hungry, but didn't have a cent to his name to buy food, if he chose to go down to the village for it. And he had too much pride just then to admit he needed or wanted anything from Naruto's house. Besides, what he really wanted was to sleep. This was his usual response to anything negative that happened in his life. Sleeping cleared his head and put distance between himself and whatever had happened. He invariably woke up with an ability to see the situation objectively and work out a solution. Even if he couldn't, though, after a nap he at least felt like the problem wasn't as big and important. Like the nap had thrown a muffling blanket around the whole mess and thus made it easier to deal with.

The one exception to this rule had been those two weeks he'd been away from Naruto. Then, sleeping or waking, he'd been in a fever of need to get back to Naruto. This time was different.

He swished through dead and fallen leaves for over an hour, by which time it was early evening. He found a safe-looking patch of ground at the base of a large tree and settled himself against it. He knew this stretch of the forest very well, thanks to the amount of time he'd spent in it with Naruto. He knew animals did not venture this close to the bungalow; Naruto's scent kept them away. He was sleeping soon after he curled up on his side.

-oOo-

When he woke, it was completely, with no lingering grogginess. He turned onto his back, put an arm behind his head, and bent one leg at the knee. He rested his other hand on his stomach and thought, All right. Now.

For a while, he just lay there, looking up at the fragments of the night sky he could see between the trees. He thought about one thing and one thing only: How deep was the shit he was in?

The question had quite a few variables to it. First and foremost, he didn't hate Naruto. He'd hated him at that moment, but the moment was past. He'd hated training, but only because he'd wanted to spend time in bed, being worshiped by Naruto. He didn't really have anything against the training itself. However, the training had shown another side to Naruto, so the question became, did he still want Naruto?

Yes. He was angry with the guy, but he loved him too much to consider leaving. Now that he was calmer, the memory of just what Naruto meant to him came back loud and clear. His feelings before training, while severely bruised, were still strong and insistent.

Next. Naruto. What to do about him? He knew what he wanted, but Naruto had said some pretty shitty things to him. And Sasuke would dearly like to know if the words had been meant, or if they were just things said in the heat of the moment, the way he himself had done. The answer to that would depend on just how Naruto processed things, Sasuke thought.

Fuck, his head was beginning to hurt from all this thinking. Rubbing his forehead with his grimy fingertips, Sasuke mentally plodded along, trying to untangle the huge snarl his relationship with Naruto had become.

Usually when he fought with Itachi, he would curse Itachi out, then go to his room and be pissed. At some point, Itachi would start talking to him again about random shit, and the fight would be forgotten eventually. Sometimes they hugged it out, sometimes they just ignored the fight until it was forgotten, but the point was that a fight had never gotten to where it was insurmountable. And he'd said he hated Itachi plenty of times. Itachi either laughed it off, flipped him the bird, or ignored it. Sasuke belatedly realized that his brother had an enormous capacity to ignore his shortcomings. This was something he'd unconsciously counted on, he further comprehended; he could say whatever he wanted to Itachi because his brother was aware of his true feelings, the depth of Sasuke's love for him, and so didn't put much stock in things Sasuke said in anger.

Naruto wasn't Itachi. Far from it. Naruto did not know him like Itachi knew him, and only knew of Sasuke's feelings what Sasuke himself displayed or told him. He didn't know if Naruto intuited just how much he meant to him, but what if he didn't? That would mean he'd believed Sasuke just now when he'd said he'd hated him. Especially, Sasuke now remembered, given how inexperienced Naruto was around people. Above all, Naruto trusted him. That much Sasuke knew. When he'd told Naruto he hated him, the man had probably believed it and…and was probably hurt.

This left behind a creeping, awestruck sense of dawning horror.

The unseen insects and whatever other wildlife that made up the background music of the forest abruptly silenced themselves as Sasuke shot up from his reclining position, quickly oriented himself with a glance at the stars, then broke into a dead run.

It wasn't that he'd hurt Naruto and was sorry that had him pounding uphill on his way to the clearing. Nor were the hurtful words Naruto had said to him in turn forgotten. True, he did realize that Naruto had likely been afraid for his safety, which had prompted the training, and everything else, but this wasn't what scared him. What scared him was a simple little thing he'd understood about Naruto even though he'd come to the conclusion that he didn't really know the guy. If he knew nothing else, he knew this: Naruto's mental state was a thing of exceptionally delicate balance.

And he might have upset that balance with his pigheadedness.

He went left when he should have gone right, and ended up halfway back down the mountain before he saw his error and doubled back. The trees were thick, the branches snapping at his face before he finally lost all patience and called up his recently learned lightning chakra to singe the things out of his way as he ran.

Naruto had been tortured into complete madness and had only fought his way back to sanity by dint of sheer will and the construction of carefully crafted rules and routines. Sasuke had known most of this, though not the torture part, soon after meeting Naruto. He'd known that the guy had issues and that it was best not to try fucking with those issues. It was why he'd worked so hard to fit into Naruto's lifestyle. Why hadn't he just insisted on talking to Naruto instead of keeping shit bottled up inside? He was sure a solution that they both would have been comfortable with could have been reached. No, instead he'd had to go and act like it was Itachi he was dealing with, and completely forget that Naruto was OCD, and tended to obsess over shit. He'd just missed when it was sex the guy was obsessing over. Fuck. Fuck!

-oOo-

He hit the front door so hard that he heard something crack in the jamb as it flew open. He was down the hall and pounding on Naruto's closed bedroom door before the front door could swing shut, though.

No answer. Not even a demand for him to go away. He called Naruto's name a few times, and still received only silence. He lowered his hand and stood thinking a moment.

He was sure that Naruto was in there. He could feel him. They were long overdue for a talk, but if Naruto didn't want to listen then it might be difficult. He himself was still breathless with adrenaline and the run back to the clearing. Finally, he went to the kitchen; he was hungry and he needed to think some more.

He'd never cooked for himself in Naruto's kitchen. Naruto always did that. He made sure to clean up after himself as he worked, but he didn't think the guy would be coming out of his room anytime soon. He ate quickly, then prepared what was left on a large tray. As an afterthought, he got two cups of instant ramen from the cupboard and prepared those too. Balancing the tray in his hands, he walked back down the hall to Naruto's room.

He had to kick at the door to knock, since his hands were full. "Naruto?" Another light kick. "Can you open the door, please?"

No answer. Sasuke put the tray down, drew back his foot, and slammed his heel against the door as hard as he could.

Which nearly broke his foot. He tried again, ignoring the pain to put some chakra behind the kick. This time he fared a little better. The racket was horrendous, and all the while that he was smashing his way through the solid wooden door, he expected Naruto to flare up on the other side and unleash his temper in a mighty display of outrage. Instead, the lock finally gave on the tenth kick and the door creaked open. He scooped up the tray and went inside, ready to begin explaining.

The bedroom was empty.

Looking at the open door that led to the veranda, Sasuke swore. Naruto had probably left while he'd been kicking the door down. Sasuke put the food on the bed. After a few minutes, he sat next to it and dropped his chin in his hands. Now what was he supposed to do? He couldn't even feel Naruto, which had to mean the guy was masking himself or was already so far away as to be unreachable.

Naruto didn't want to face Sasuke. The boy had left and spent the rest of the day away from the bungalow. He'd surfaced from the training room and his introspective contemplations, and thought, Well, good. Now that it's over, let it really be over. Let him go and forget I ever touched him. Let him get over the mess I've made, and hopefully heal from whatever damage I've done to him. He'd spent his own afternoon sitting on his bed, staring at the large sketch Sasuke had done of him.

The knowledge that Sasuke wasn't completely his, as he'd erroneously thought, was somehow almost worse than the knowledge of how badly he'd fucked up. The boy considered his brother, not Naruto, to be everything to him. He'd felt nearly done in by this, but maintained himself through brute force of will. He faced the truth grimly: Sasuke was his life and soul (hence the cause of the current mess they were in), but Sasuke didn't feel the same. Couldn't feel the same, now that Naruto took the time to think about it. No matter how much the boy loved him -and Sasuke loved him tremendously, he knew- it would never compare to what he himself felt for Sasuke. Naruto had nothing but Sasuke to love. Sasuke, on the other hand, had family. A brother. A life. Not a great life, but better and fuller than what Naruto had. It therefore stood to reason that he would be incapable of reciprocating Naruto's feelings with the same intensity.

He really had fucked up in loving the boy. In acting on it. He loved Sasuke too much, too hard, and Sasuke was simply unable to respond in kind. Sasuke wasn't broken enough, withdrawn enough, or unstable enough to love as Naruto loved, and that was a good thing. Yes, it was. But it also hurt almost more than Naruto could bear.

It was over, but the idea of formally telling Sasuke to go was too much to bear. He wasn't strong enough to do it. So it was good that Sasuke had left. He could sense the boy a few miles away, but surely Sasuke would leave the mountain. The rage on his face, the fact that he hated Naruto (and if ever Naruto had wondered what it would be like to be dealt a mortal blow, he'd found out at hearing those three words), and the insult he'd taken over his brother all but ensured this. He simply needed to wait until Sasuke left the mountain, have someone at ANBU reprogram the barricade, and make sure that Sasuke was unable to approach him ever again.

Something in him scoffed: if Sasuke ever left him, he'd be after him in no time at all, pulled against his will by his feelings. Still, weak as Naruto was, Sasuke would go. Maybe Naruto could persuade Itachi to take the boy out of Konoha.

He certainly hadn't expected Sasuke to come back to the house and knock on his door. Something, some need to be completely closed off had prompted him to lock the bedroom door when he'd come up from the training room earlier, and for that he was grateful. He didn't think he could take the sight of Sasuke just now. What did the boy want?

But then Sasuke had gone to the kitchen and Naruto had smelled cooking food. He'd sat on his bed, back straight, hands fisted in the quilt, alert and perplexed. Sasuke hadn't sounded angry. He was cooking, which wasn't an action that leant itself to the theory of Sasuke leaving. Naruto had experienced a roiling upsurge of hope in his breast, a desire to fling his door open and grab Sasuke to him and never let go…which he tamped down ruthlessly. This time he would exercise proper judgment and stay away from Sasuke, but…well, why was the boy still here? He couldn't have forgiven Naruto, could he? No. No. The temptation to believe that was too great.

He heard Sasuke coming back down the hall, and this time the knocking was harder. He was requested to open the door, and Naruto nearly did. He'd had time to bring his self-control firmly back in place while the boy had done whatever he was doing in the kitchen, and he had his thoughts and confusion neatly tucked beneath the surface once more. He would open the door and tell Sasuke to leave.

Except…he didn't trust himself around Sasuke. He didn't trust himself not to beg the boy to stay, nor did he trust himself not to screw up again in some way. His control, his sanity, was only recently reacquired and he couldn't risk it retreating again, not until he'd had a chance to firm it into the impenetrable wall around his emotions that it had been prior to his fateful drive into town this summer. He left while Sasuke was kicking his door down, and used chakra to put himself several miles down the mountain.

And here he remained, walking now, and getting farther from his home. He could admit to being cowardly, but better that than making things worse with Sasuke. He just needed a little more time in which to smooth down his raging emotions. His love for Sasuke was a raw, messy hole inside him, one that called out with painful intensity for him to reunite with Sasuke in anyway possible, but he could and did force himself to keep walking. Head lowered, fists clenched, stride long and sure, he stalked through the forest as a lion moves through its territory, and used the time to tamp down his hurt and guilt.

Sasuke dozed. Laying awkwardly on the bed beside the tray, he dozed uncomfortably. He woke when the veranda door opened, and was in time to see Naruto pause on the threshold of his bedroom. He got up hastily, wiping at the drool on his chin.

He got a good look at him. Naruto looked…indifferent, yet intent. Almost blank. The way he had in the store that day; focused, yet oblivious at the same time. A glance at the window showed it to be completely dark outside. Sasuke braced his suddenly sweaty palms against the mattress behind him and wet his lips. "H-hi."

Naruto used the excuse of closing the veranda door to buy himself time. He hadn't expected the boy to still be here. So lost in thought was he as he'd trudged back home, that he'd already opened the door and seen Sasuke sleeping there on the bed before he'd sensed him. He gauged the expression on Sasuke's face and decided that there was no anger. He leaned against the door and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Sasuke," he said in answer to the greeting.

Sasuke felt stricken by the lifelessness of Naruto's response. Naruto had never looked at him with such dispassion before, not even when he'd first begun coming to the mountain. He opened his mouth to apologize, to explain how he said stupid shit like that all the time and didn't necessarily mean it…but he knew Naruto wouldn't understand that. Seeing him standing there, Sasuke suddenly wanted Naruto's arms around him more than anything else just then.

Occupied with their own thoughts, they stared at each other for a long time. Face to face at last, their fight seemed to echo around the room. The words said, the insults hurled, the anger, the hate…it filled the silence, and filled their minds, and for both of them it was as if the world had stopped turning. How could they have said those things? How could they have felt those things? Where was the beautiful desperation of their former interactions?

-oOo-

Naruto was too inexperienced with love to know that people fought and got over it, that events like yesterday were in fact common. He was likewise too old, and had been through too much, to remember the precise way he had dealt with people before coming to the mountain. He remembered bits and pieces of his interactions with his team, a few things from The Academy, nothing more. His childhood was a complete blank to him, a fact he never thought about. Things were pretty much black and white for him, and after spending the majority of the day doing nothing but reconstituting his mindset pre-Sasuke, he was of the firm belief that his time with the boy, and the boy's time on the mountain, was at a definite end. He could spend the next 40 years of his life getting over the pain, but right now the boy had to go.

Sasuke was inexperienced with love too, but he did have experience with relationships. Well, the one with his brother anyway. He knew, at least, that fights happened and people moved on. He did not have the fatalistic view Naruto did, and did not see things in black and white. He also knew what compromise was, and displayed a bit of insight now in realizing that Naruto was too screwed up to understand that basic concept. He decided to try and explain after all. Maybe Naruto could be made to understand.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For what I said, for how I've acted. I should have told you how I was feeling instead of just expecting you to know. And I get that you went all out on the training because you were worried about me. You were only worried so much because you love me. I get that too. So I'm sorry. " That was it. Naruto would have to take it from there.

He didn't. Not really. Naruto's expression didn't change, but the hands in his pockets loosened somewhat. Sasuke saw the fists unclench a bit. He waited.

After some time, Naruto said, haltingly, "Do you hate me?"

"No." He had hurt Naruto. "God, no. But I hate what you said."

Naruto took his time digesting this. This conversation was acid to his newly rebuilt protective walls, but he had to know…"Do you…are you going to leave? Me? Are you going to leave me?" he asked in a firmer voice. Better to know, even if the answer hurt.

Sasuke took half a step from the bed, then stopped. "Never."

Naruto searched his face, looking at the dark eyes. He wouldn't believe that the scene downstairs had been nothing more than a tantrum. It had been serious. Real. Sasuke had said things…And so did you, he thought in shame. Had he meant them? At the time, yes. And to some extent he did now, but he didn't feel that way anymore, so maybe Sasuke was telling the truth, which meant… "I mean something to you then?" He could barely get the words out, and cringed inwardly at the needy quality of the question.

Sasuke's voice was equally hushed. "More than I can say."

"But not everything," Naruto pointed out. He felt an odd mixture of relief and dissatisfaction at hearing Sasuke's answer. "I don't mean everything to you."

Naruto shut his mouth, aware now that the hours spent trying to erect a wall between his mind and his feelings for Sasuke had been pointless. The boy was in him. And while Naruto was around him, he was weak. He needed Sasuke, and that was that, and if the boy wasn't leaving, then Naruto would live with that. He would live with it happily. Despite this, he didn't see how things could go back to the way they were. He just didn't.

Sasuke walked away from the bed slowly, but stopped several feet from Naruto. He tried to put his thoughts into words. "You mean what I said about Itachi. About him being everything to me." He sighed, digging at a splinter in his hand that he'd picked up somewhere during the day. "It's hard to explain. I mean…you're everything I want and love and need. Itachi…he's everything inside of me. He's the good and bad in me. My home. My mother, father, and brother. You're my heart and soul. He's my blood. I can't live without either of you, and I can't choose between you because I need you both. You're both everything to me."

Naruto wondered how Itachi had ever let his brother go. The boy loved him so much, and Itachi had turned the boy loose. Just as you yourself did. Naruto blinked at this realization, and wondered if there would come a time when he stopped fucking up so badly.

It was a new and uncomfortable process, but he realized that they were rebuilding the bridge between themselves. Their connection. Their relationship. Naruto opted for honesty. "What I said about Itachi was the truth, but you're right. I shouldn't have said those things. Not like that." He risked a glance at Sasuke's face and found the boy staring at him. "It's just… I don't like sharing you with him, Sasuke."

"Well, he's a part of me. I'm not giving him up."

"But he disowned you," Naruto said hopefully. "You have to."

Only by reminding himself of how messed up Naruto was, was Sasuke able to keep from getting angry again; Naruto really believed the things he said. "I'll never give my brother up. Just like I'll never give you up. Never, Naruto. It's not happening. You don't give up the ones you love just because they're mad at you, or you're mad at them."

And so Sasuke would never be completely his, Naruto saw. There would always be other things in the boy's life. His budding hopes crashed in flames of renewed jealousy. Naruto felt a ghost of his anger return, and with it his resolve to let the boy go. He straightened up, head held high. "Well, it doesn't matter. You're a child and have no business being secluded up here with an old man like me. I'm afraid it's time you left." He walked across the room to hold his broken door open for Sasuke. "Go on. Get out."

Sasuke had been afraid of this very thing happening. He swallowed hard, prepared to resist. "No. Weren't you listening to what I just said?"

"I heard what you said. Now-"

"Do you hate me?"

Naruto blinked. "No. I don't believe I ever could, though you really tested my patience."

"Then why are you kicking me out?" He wanted to keep Naruto talking.

Naruto looked down at where his hand was holding the door, thinking. "Sasuke, this can't work-"

"Why? Because you said so?"

"Because you're too young."

That wasn't the answer Sasuke was expecting. "I…don't understand." Naruto was scaring him now. "You didn't think I was too young before."

"I did," Naruto sighed. He reluctantly let go of his door. It creaked shut. He leaned his back against it, and folded his arms. "If you'll recall, I did voice my misgivings when this whole thing began between us. It's why you left that first time, remember?"

"But you took me back." Sasuke fought to calm his rising panic. "I thought that was settled."

Naruto studied him. "I was selfish. And weak. What's changed, Sasuke, is that though the realization is enough to kill me, you really don't belong here. You have your whole life ahead of you, and all I want to do is keep you up here on this mountain with me. That's no life for someone as young as you. It's not a life for me either, but it's all I'm capable of. And that's okay. I'm ruined. My life is pretty much over. I know that. But it isn't fair for me to foist the same restrictions on you just because I love you."

"But-"

"And speaking of my love…Sasuke, I don't know much on the subject, but I know that my love will destroy us. Eventually. It's too heavy for either of us to bear and remain sane. Look at what happened. The training. I'm jealous of your brother. You-"

"But I'm sorry," Sasuke sobbed. He tried to go to Naruto and stopped when the older man held a hand up. "Naruto, please! I don't hate you, I swear. I'll never say that again, I swear on my life."

Naruto hung his head. The boy was making this so difficult. He wanted nothing more than to give in and accept him back, but Sasuke had unwittingly done him a service by inciting his jealousy and anger a few moments ago. It gave him the strength he needed to do what had to be done. "You're willing to give up your life to be here with me-"

"Yes!"

"-and that's wrong, Sasuke."

Scared to death now, Sasuke ran and threw himself at Naruto. He hung on, burying his face in Naruto's chest. "You can't. You can't give up on me, you can't cut me loose. I won't let you."

"Sasuke…" Naruto hesitated only a moment before putting his hands on the boy's shaking shoulders. "It's for the best."

"You said you couldn't live without me."

"I can't. But I can't knowingly screw up your life, either."

"You're not! What about Akatsuki? You said you'd keep me safe from them, aren't you afraid they'll get me?"

"Your brother is exceptionally cunning. And you've remained safe all this time, as you've repeatedly said. I was wrong to push you the way I did with training-"

"I can't be without you, Naruto, I can't. I said I was sorry. We love each other, so there's no reason to do this."

"Your life-"

"I had no life before you came along!" Sasuke yelled through his hitching breaths. "You're it for me." He lifted his face, desperate to make Naruto understand. "If you cut me loose too, after my brother already did, it'll fuck me up worse than staying with you ever could. I mean it."

Naruto gazed long and hard into those leaking black eyes, trying to maintain his stance. It was right. He knew in his heart of hearts that letting Sasuke go was right.

But it was no use. Really. He was only so strong, and could only be so responsible. He'd tried to do the right thing, but whatever was between them had a mind of its own, and so help him God, he could fight it no more. He gave up. Gave in.

Seeing his victory in the blue eyes, Sasuke went briefly limp. Naruto caught him as his knees went weak, and held him against his chest. Sasuke rested his head against that slow, steady heartbeat, nearly faint in the aftermath of his fright…which hadn't entirely left, if he was honest with himself. There was defeat in the way Naruto leaned his head back against the door, but no victory. Sasuke had been wrong to think there'd been a victory here.

Some time went by before Naruto looked down and found Sasuke looking up at him. Their reconciliation wasn't all rainbows and angelic crescendos. It was bittersweet, tinged with Naruto's knowledge of his weakness regarding Sasuke, and Sasuke's guilt at having said what he'd said in the training room. Hard things to overcome. It was in the back of both their minds that Naruto was right and things should end between them here and now, but they both also knew that it was beyond them to survive such a break. They were stuck.

Sasuke leaned up and uncertainly kissed Naruto's sad mouth. He wasn't sure if it would be received well, but he needed it. He needed Naruto.

The kiss was allowed. Returned. Expanded as Naruto lifted him, and suddenly the fires of their need burst free of all that had transpired between them. And it was enough. Enough to burn away their doubts. Enough to reduce the bitterness to ashes so that only the sweet remained as they feasted and gorged themselves on each other's missed taste.

Sasuke ripped Naruto's shirt from his back even as his teeth drew blood from the man's mouth. Naruto turned and lifted him against the door, held him there. The orange tracksuit that had survived so many years finally met its end as it was torn away from the body Naruto wanted. Sasuke whispered his name as two fingers were suddenly deep inside him. He arched from the door as his arousal flooded his senses, but then Naruto was entering him, pushing past the pain and sting to seal their bodies together. Sasuke wrapped his legs around that lean waist and locked his arms around the solid neck.

The fires of longing and desire may have burned away the rougher edges of their situation, but it didn't change what was. They were still broken, but neither of them stopped. Not for a long time.