With Each Passing Day
By Dimgwrthien
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or affiliates.
When the doorbell rang in the morning, Mac silently thanked God for the distraction. Claire had already had enough time that morning to show off her cooking skills, which didn't take long. For years, her motto to Mac about cooking was: "If it's dinner, I'll be the chef. If it's breakfast, a newborn could make better pancakes than I can." Within an hour of waking up and several half-hidden curses from Claire, Mac had enough sense to leave to pick up breakfast.
Mac opened the door and saw Stella standing there, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail that still looked as though it was loose. She wore a thick sweater that had several snowflakes still on the woolly fabric.
"Hey," she said, smiling nervously at Mac. "Bad time?"
"Depends. You like kids?"
Stella's smile became more confident, and Mac realized how much her face brightened up when she smiled. "Love them."
"Then you came at a perfect time."
"You have kids?" Stella raised an eyebrow, exaggerating a frown to hide her grin. "I never put you down as -"
"I don't." Mac motioned behind him. "Claire's sister is here. Two of the most amazing children you'll ever meet, but the most annoying mother." Mac smiled wryly. "Sorry for ruining your Christmas."
Stella laughed. "I'll always take a chatty woman over a boring Christmas, Mac."
"That's good." Mac smiled and moved out of the doorway to let her in. "Want anything?"
"No thanks." Stella raised one of her arms, showing a large bag in the crook of her arm. "Did bring presents, though. Should I put them somewhere?"
"Just follow the trail of Claire's decorations," Mac joked, leading her into the apartment. "At the end, there's a Christmas tree. You shouldn't have, though -"
"I'm a good guest." Stella raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Besides, we all know the true meaning of Christmas is in the presents."
Mac laughed. "Alright, most people can't argue with that." He shut the door after her. "I'll take them for you. Make yourself comfortable. Let me give you some advice, though…" He stopped her before they got into the living room so that they were still mostly hidden. "Don't sit near Charlotte. That's the dark-haired woman. And James is safe to sit near, but not too close. Charlotte would start talking your ear off about him. The kids are safe to sit near. Very sweet. Then Claire is always the safest bet beside me."
Stella grinned and laughed. "Is this the introduction I'm getting?"
Mac nodded. "More or less."
"Alright, alright." Stella grinned. "C'mon. Let me meet everyone the right way."
They entered into the room. Claire looked up from where she sat with Anna in her lap. She gave Stella a bright grin. "Hey!"
Stella gave her a small wave and sat down. Mac smiled when he realized that Stella had followed his advice and sat close to Claire. Claire leaned over and gave Stella a one-armed hug.
"Say hi," Claire said to Anna, who smiled and waved shyly at Stella. Stella returned the wave again, still grinning.
Mac put the bag beside the tree and sat down beside Stella. Greg moved from James' lap over to Mac, sitting beside him.
"Everyone, this is Stella." Mac motioned pointlessly to Stella.
"She works with Mac," Claire added. "You're in… narcotics, was it?"
Stella nodded. "Yeah. Been thinking about moving into the 'bigger lab' lately, though."
Mac raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Really?"
She turned to him and nodded again with a smile. "Yeah. It's always looked appealing, you know?"
Mac smiled in return.
"That's Charlotte." Claire pointed over to Charlotte, who smiled at Stella. Stella smiled in return, then glanced at Mac to give him a defiant look. Claire tried not to notice. "Her husband, James, and their kids, Greg and Anna."
James leaned forward, shaking Stella's hand. "Hey there."
As Stella replied, Mac watched the group interacting. Now, on the outside, he could see how gentle Charlotte was with strangers rather than the forceful maternity he saw from her with everyone else.
He glanced at Claire studying her face for a moment. Her eyes were concentrated on Stella and James, and Mac allowed his eyes to wander through her hair that always darkened to a brown in the winter, along her half-visible eyes, down the curve of her nose.
Claire's eyes flicked over to him. Mac apologized without words by smiling, and Claire grinned back. She flicked her eyes to the kitchen, then raised an eyebrow. "Help me in the kitchen," she said to him, then glanced back at where Stella was talking to the two kids before standing up. Mac followed quickly.
Claire beat him into the room, where she was leaned against a counter.
"You're helping me with the cooking," she said, the smile still on her face.
"For some reason I don't think that's what you mean."
"You're right."
Mac smiled and tried to peck her cheek with a kiss. Claire turned quickly, as Mac was so used to, and caught the kiss full-on.
"Thought you were worried about the kiddies." Claire smirked and kisses his neck.
"They're in the living room," Mac answered. He hugged her tight, kissing her forehead. "We're in here. Besides, I bet Charlotte's already giving them 'the talk' a hundred times."
Claire laughed quietly. "I really do worry about you loving my sister now. It's bordering obsession."
"We hurt the ones we love," Mac joked.
Claire pulled him into a long kiss, sending a warm rush through Mac as he returned it. He could feel a small smile tugging at her lips, could feel her shoulders relax in his arms. Her hair brushed against his hands, and he twirled the ends.
"Didn't think you were one for wall-sex." Claire slid her hands up Mac's chest, finally wrapped him around his shoulders.
"Who said anything about sex?" Mac reached up to the shelf above her, seeing Claire's eyes drift upward to watch his hand as he grabbed a bowl from the cabinet. "I thought we were cooking."
Claire laughed again and kissed him lightly. "Alright, alright. Cooking time." She turned, and Mac let go of her. "We can keep Anna and Greg distracted later -"
"Distracted?" Mac asked, and Claire covered her mouth to stop from laughing again.
"Alright, keep them busy later by having them make cookies or whatever."
"I thought that you just gave the kids their presents to keep them busy." Mac raised an eyebrow. "Unless Charlotte and Jim are able to create superhum-"
"Don't even start." Claire covered her face with a grin. "We're doing that after we eat. I don't want to deal with a mess when I'm cooking, and those are messy." Claire pulled out a stack of plates. "Go set the table and make sure they aren't eating Stella alive, alright?"
Mac grinned and kissed the top of her head. "Alright."
He left the kitchen, plates stacked in his arms. As Mac walked along the edge of the couches where the rest were, he watched them.
Anna sat close to Stella, much like as she had with Mac earlier. Stella combed Anna's hair back slowly in her fingers, almost unconsciously. Greg remained on his father's lap, looking up at his father's face as James spoke to Stella and Charlotte.
At the sound of the first plate clinking down onto the table, Stella glanced up, looking over her shoulder, and grinned at Mac. She raised her hand as though in a wave. He could see her lean forward and whisper into Anna's ear. The girl nodded and jumped off Stella's lap, moving over to Charlotte.
Stella stood and walked over to Mac. "Need any help?"
Mac shook his head. "No thanks. I've got this." He set out the last plate and stood to face her. Stella's arms were crossed over her chest, and the smile still hadn't faded from when she first entered the apartment.
"Does Claire need any help?" she asked.
Mac laughed quietly. "It's alright, Stella. Just sit back and relax. It's Christmas."
She shifted on her feet, still smiling. Mac could see the small look she threw over her shoulder. He nodded in understanding. "They aren't all that likeable are they?"
Stella let out a small, disbelieving noise. "They're likeable - I mean, they're nice people."
"Just not your kind of nice people?" he offered when Stella fell silent.
"Exactly." She smiled shyly. "I hope that doesn't sound -"
"Not at all." Mac grinned and clapped her on the shoulder. "Maybe Claire'll rethink the rest of the holidays she's planning when she realizes this is common consent."
Stella laughed quietly again as he led her into the kitchen.
Claire glanced up as soon as they entered, a surprised look on her face. "Stella," she greeted. "Hey, Mac. What've you done this time?"
"Turns out I'm not the only one who hates your sister," he joked.
Stella's eyes widened. "I didn't -"
"It's alright," Claire sighed. "Mac hates her, too." She lowered her voice. "Neither of us can honestly figure out how she got married."
Stella laughed. Mac traded another look with Claire, and they both started to laugh. It made Mac oddly comforted, seeing the two of them having such peaceful interactions, and he couldn't help but share it.
Claire stopped suddenly, though, her eyes concentrated behind Mac. He turned quickly, curious as to what had made her pause so suddenly. Anna stood in the doorway, her pale eyebrows raised.
"Uncle Mac?" she asked, then opened her mouth to ask another question.
Mac glanced at Claire and Stella quickly, then walked over to kneel in front of the girl. "Do you like dress up?" he asked her quickly.
Anna nodded, a smile appearing on her face.
"You know, your Aunt Claire has a closet full of shoes and clothes." Mac gave Anna a smile, and she grinned. Mac turned to give Claire an apologetic look, and she raised her knife threateningly.
"Sorry," he mouthed. Mac turned back to Anna. "Race you there?"
Anna turned and ran for the bedroom. Mac stood up quickly and pressed a kiss on Claire's lips before running after Anna.
"I swear," Claire sighed, but Stella noticed her smile. "If they do anything…"
Stella laughed again. "You'll probably just get some worn-out shoes. I remember watching my neighbor's kids once. They played in my closet for a few hours, and nothing was really ruined."
Claire nodded. "True. I'm kind of hoping Mac stays on his half of the closet though." She grinned.
"A little girl in a business suit." Stella snorted. "That's something I want to see."
Claire looked amused. "You'd be amazed at what Mac has in there, if all you think all he wears are business suits."
(With Each Passing Day)
"Claire, I need to take you shopping." Charlotte leaned over the table, putting a hand on Claire's. "When I saw little Anna come down in those shoes -"
"Thank you, Charlotte," Claire sighed, shutting her eyes. She chanced a look at Mac, who smiled.
Anna was already picking as her fork, her feet barely holding on a pair of black high heels. She waved her legs until they threatened the fall off.
"This looks great, Claire," Stella said quickly, glancing sideways at Mac with a smile. Mac smiled back.
"Thanks." Claire gave a pointed look to Charlotte, who raised her eyebrows and tilted her head with a mocking smile.
"I like your potatoes, Aunt Claire," Greg said through a mouth full of them. James fought with the child for a moment, trying to get him to swallow before talking.
"Thanks, Greg." Claire grinned at him. "What is it with you and potatoes?"
"He's insane about them," Charlotte sighed, wiping Anna's mouth. "Do you know what starches -"
"Potatoes are great," Mac cut in, smiling at Greg. Greg grinned and took up another forkful.
Stella laughed quietly and tried to cover her mouth. Charlotte glanced at her, and Stella sobered up instantly.
"I'll be right back," Charlotte said quickly, standing up.
They watched her leave, and Stella shifted in her seat. "I'm really sorry," she muttered, glancing down at the table. "I really didn't - Should I go?"
James grinned and put a hand on Stella's shoulder. "No, it's not your fault. Charlotte does that on an hourly basis, I swear. She'll forget everything by the time she's back."
Stella gave a strained look to Mac and Claire.
"It's alright," Claire said, starting to laugh. "Really. I hate to say this about my own sister, but Charlotte's a bit of a-"
"Bitch," Mac supplied.
Claire glared at him. "No," she snapped.
"Anna?" Mac asked, turning to the girl, who looked up. "Do you think I could borrow your shoes?"
Anna kicked them off, and the shoes landed in front of Mac's feet. He bent down to pick them up and waved them in Claire's face.
"Aren't these your favorite shoes?" he asked with a smile.
Claire grabbed the shoes and put them back on the ground. "Alright, she insults my cooking and shoes -"
"And your age," James added.
Claire glanced at him, then back to Stella with a smile. "She's a bit cruel, and she knows it. You didn't do anything wrong, Stella."
Stella glanced at the door Charlotte had left through. "Still, I -"
James stood up. "I'll talk to her. I love her, but she's overreacted before."
"Besides, we all know I made the insult," Mac added. Claire shot him another look.
"Mac," she said slowly, warning in her voice.
"I know." Mac stood up as James left, but Claire grabbed his arm. She stood instead, moving over to the side of the table where Anna and Greg were.
"I have an idea." She put a hand on each of their shoulders, smiling. Mac tried to stop the smile starting on his lips. Claire always looked like a true mother when she did that, and it honestly impressed him how quickly she could control children. "In the kitchen, there's a stack of books with some cookie recipes. Both of you agree on one and come back and tell me so that we can make them, alright?"
Both nodded quickly, and Greg jumped out of his chair before his sister could. They left the room at high-speed, almost shouting out their suggestions.
Claire rounded the table with a sigh, sitting in her seat again.
"Now that they're out of the way…" Mac started for her.
"Don't even start." Claire crossed her arms and leaned back. "First off, Stella… Please, please, please don't feel bad about any of this, alright? Mac's right - it was his fault." She turned to him, pointing a warning finger at him. "Don't start talking, either. I know what you're going to say."
Mac raised his hands in defeat.
"Please just give my sister a second chance. She'll be over her fit in an hour."
"It's alright." Stella played with the buttons on her shirt, still looking awkward and out of place. "It really is. Besides, I should be heading back soon -"
Claire sighed as she covered her hand with her hands. "Stella, I'm so sorry about all of this. You can stay longer if you don't have any other plans today. I hope we can spend more time together when my sister is -"
"Far, far away," Mac finished. Claire didn't bother to look at him.
"I'm sorry," Claire repeated. Mac thought she looked like a defeated homemaker for a moment, the type to spend a month planning her party only to realize she forgot to cook the turkey. "I'll be right back. Need to make sure the kids aren't breaking anything."
She stood up and left into the kitchen quickly, where Mac and Stella couldn't see her.
Mac laughed quietly. "We're all a little mad here, I suppose."
Stella wrung her hands nervously, then placed them, palms down, on the table as though to relax herself. "Again, Mac, I can't believe I made an ass of myself."
"Better be careful using that word around Claire." Mac smile and raised his eyebrows. "She's going insane because of her family. I say we should get rid of them."
Stella laughed, and it sounded calmer than before. "You know, Mac, I think I figured it out."
"Figured what out?"
"Well…" Mac could almost see Stella shrink back into some dark corner of herself, shy and awkward once more. "Today, everyone's been running around, trying to get everything done. And you've been… just… relaxed, I guess. Even in the office, even if you're not exactly the same, you're always level-headed, I suppose."
"Sometimes you just have to learn to be that." Mac shrugged.
Stella leaned in and kissed him. It took Mac a second to think to fight her.
When he pulled away quickly, surprised and feeling numb and surprised, he looked straight in the direction of the kitchen.
Claire stood in the doorway, completely still as though frozen into a block of ice, and staring just behind the two. Mac felt a cold wave of numbness spread from his mouth into his chest. He wanted to shiver it off, but knew that nothing would help in the long run.
"Fuck," Stella whispered, so low that Mac wasn't sure if he had heard it. She stood up quickly, standing opposite Claire. They looked strange there - Claire the shorter of the figures, but her spine painfully straight while Stella bent slightly, raising her hands in defense.
"I'm so sorry, Claire," Stella said, and Mac could tell from her voice that she felt the same freezing he did. "I didn't mean -"
Claire shook her head, finally seeming to focus. "It's alright," she said softly, and Mac couldn't remember the last time he heard her voice like that. She sounded reassuring, as thought she had no plans to even mention this again.
"I'm going to go," Stella said, running a hand through a hair and turning slightly on the spot. She seemed lost, and Mac understood the feeling. "I'm sorry." She didn't look either in the eye. "Merry Christmas."
Stella turned and left as quickly as possible. The door closed almost silently behind her.
Claire looked at Mac. He finally noticed that she was leaned against the wall.
"I always told myself that… that I wouldn't mind if I found out my husband was cheating on me, just as long as he was honest." She shook her head when Mac started talking. "I know, just a kiss. The usual excuses people get. It still counts, Mac. I always told myself I would never mind that. I've been rebellious, I've cheated on a boyfriend. I'd be a hypocrite to get angry and leave you." She crossed her arms tightly. "I just didn't know it felt like this."
Mac stood up quickly, moving closer to her. "Claire -"
"No." Claire turned slightly. Mac felt his heart thud faster and faster. He wanted to reach out to her, tell her it was a stupid mistake, but he knew that it couldn't do anything.
"Claire, I swear I didn't know what was going on. She kissed me, and I didn't realize what was happening -"
"I know." Claire nodded slowly, refusing to meet his eyes. "I understand it."
"Then why -?" Mac forced himself to stop.
Claire gave him a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. "It still hurt like hell, Mac. How would you feel if you walked in on me with someone?"
"I have." Mac knew he would regret it, but there was too much that needed to be said. "Practically, having to meet you when you had a son."
"That's not the same."
"It is!" Mac wanted to find a point to be made, but when he looked at Claire, he remembered what she looked like when they first met. Just out of the strains of pregnancy, but didn't look it. Hell, he hadn't been able to tell until she told him, and it still surprised him. "It's like walking into a relationship and finding out you already have a son!"
"Reed's not yours," Claire answered venomously, and Mac took a step back. She rubbed her arms as though to keep warm, then looked Mac in the eyes. She smiled softly. "Look, Mac, I'm going to take a walk. I don't know if I'll be home tonight. Maybe." She put a hand to his cheek. The old, familiar Claire. "Before I go, I want you to know I love you. I've never stopped loving you, and I know I won't ever stop."
Claire started to walk away, following Stella's shameful steps, and Mac couldn't stop himself from saying one last thing. He knew he wouldn't like the answer even as he thought over his words.
"Why're you going, then?"
Claire paused, giving him one last smile. This time, it was depressed and shamed and pitiful. "To make sure," she answered, and was gone.