Thanks so much for the reviews! This is to follow the others...
Jen DeClan, I hope you like it!
New Year's Eve.
South Dakota was beautiful. At least, it was to Castiel. From Bobby's yard he could see an expanse of the black and blue velvet sky that displayed a smattering of constellations Castiel once knew by heart. They looked so much different from where he stood now, on the crunchy, frosted grass in Sioux Falls. It sort of made him understand why when humans looked up at the night sky they sometimes described it as looking up to the Heavens. there was something dauntingly massive but gloriously aesthetic about it.
"It's almost time," Dean's voice offered beside him. They stood shoulder to shoulder, staring out at the snow-laden trees twinkling subtly in the dim light of the moon and the shadow of the mountains in the distance.
"Ready?" Dean asked. And Castiel nodded.
"Ten, nine, eight," Castiel closed his eyes as Dean began to count, "seven, six, five, four," he felt Dean move closer, wrapping a strong arm around his waist, "three, two, one..."
Castiel's eyes stayed closed, waiting.
Dean moved so both his arms were around Castiel, "You feel any different?"
Castiel furrowed his brow, looking down at the ground as he contemplated his answer. Then a look of disappointment crossed his face, as if he was somehow bad at being human because he couldn't physically take note of the passing of a year.
Dean noticed the look and smiled to himself, watching Castiel close his eyes again as if to try harder and make himself feel it. Dean pulled Castiel close, tipped his chin upward, and kissed him on the lips.
"How about now?" he asked quietly once they had parted.
Castiel smiled, his eyes still closed. That he felt.
"It's not complete until you kiss," Dean mused.
Castiel tipped his head to the side, wondering, blue eyes blinking up at him and Dean explained, "It's tradition. When the countdown ends and there's that split second between the end of the last year and the start of the new one, you're supposed to kiss someone."
Castiel smiled curiously, "Why?"
"Actually," Dean laughed a little, "I dunno. Start the thing off right, maybe?"
"Humanity certainly does seem to center a good deal of its traditions around, what did Bobby call it?... Locking Lips."
There was a sincere, almost scientific fascination to Castiel's observation that made Dean laugh again. "True Cas, very true. You sayin' you mind it?"
"No," Castiel answered quickly, still not entirely able to tell when Dean was joking with him and when he was sincere. Of course, Dean made it difficult on purpose - he had to have his fun. Castiel was, after all, something to see in those moments of oblivious conviction. Like right now. Cas held onto Dean tight, admitting too sincerely, "I find I am very pleased with the culture-wide desperation for physical contact during an important holiday moment."
"Yeah, I bet," Dean teased. And Cas looked back up at the sky again, Dean moving behind him, hugging him to his chest and resting his head against the man's shoulder.
Dean shivered slightly and Castiel leaned back into him a little more.
"Friggin' freezing out here. C'mon," he tugged Cas' arm but Cas stayed put.
"Go on, I'll be in in a minute."
Dean gave him a questioning look but the smile Cas returned left no doubt that he just wanted a moment, maybe to wrap his head around the idea of another year passed, the next one being spent with humanity. Dean got that. He gave him a quick kiss on the temple, smiling as he felt Cas lean into it, and went back to the house.
Castiel put his hands in his pockets and gazed up at the stars. "Father?" he asked, feeling awkward about it. He hadn't prayed yet, not as a human, not since the last time when he'd begged for a sign. In a way, Castiel had been begging his Father to come back, to stop him by force. He knew that now. And he knew that his Father couldn't. It had been Castiel's choice to make - to not make deals with demons, to not do something that felt so wrong. And he'd failed that test. He knew that now.
Yet, somehow he was granted mercy. Somehow, he lived.
Somehow, he'd woken up the past week to the warm, strong arms of his Hunter wrapped around him, and had days full of smiling green eyes to look forward to. Their relationship was fairly innocent still, physically speaking. But Castiel didn't mind. He found that Dean was rather enjoying it, even if he refused to say so, and Cas was plenty happy to indulge him.
He never thought he'd been so content, at any rate. He was gracious.
"I haven't spoken to you in some time," he started, not allowing his voice to betray him by showing how nervous, how emotional he really was. "I have made some rather grave misjudgments of late. And I..." he looked down at his shoes, building the courage to face the sky again. "I apologize, for my behavior. It was... a betrayal. Of everything you made me to be. But... Father, I'm sorry. And I thank you. For allowing me this time, this human life. Perhaps it is my fondness for humanity that makes me this way," he laughed to himself, "but I find that, despite your absence, I love you still." Castiel felt a recently familiar tightness in his throat. "If there is one thing I have learned from Dean Winchester, it is that a man like us never stops loving his Father. No matter how old he gets, no matter what trespasses he may have felt his Father bestowed upon him. I hope..." he faltered for a moment, "I hope, that by being a better man, than I was an Angel, that I may earn your forgiveness."
There was no answer to be heard, but Castiel felt that the fact that he lived at all was answer enough. He smiled to himself, knowing that everything that needed to be said, had been.
Dean plopped unceremoniously onto the couch beside his brother, who was watching the distorted image of the celebration at Times Square on Bobby's old Tv. He smacked his hand on his gargantuan brother's knee.
"This year's gonna be different, Sammy." And for the first time he wasn't lying, he really believed it, that things might be better for them.
Sam laughed, and it wasn't the cynical, doubtful thing Dean expected. It was warm, genuinely amused.
"You're only saying that because it's New Year's Eve and you actually had someone to kiss," he teased. Sam knocked his shoulder against his brother's, smirking at Dean's blush. Sam hefted off the couch when he heard Castiel come in, and went over to him smacking him on the back with a smile. "Happy New Year, Cas."
Cas returned with a small but honest smile, "Happy New Year, Sam."
"Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. If you two are gonna celebrate," he sent Dean a shit-eating grin that only magnified when Dean clenched his jaw and glared, "try to keep it down."
Dean threw a pillow at Sam as he receded up the stairs, laughing.
Castiel sat down beside Dean, smiling at the blush on his cheeks and the way he muttered to himself. Dean focused his attention on the Tv, and when some announcer made a joke about a Mayan prophecy, Dean gave a mirthless chuckle. Castiel looked up at him as if to request clarification.
"World's s'posed to end now,Cas. Didn't ya hear?" Dean stated, obviously not believing it.
Castiel's head tilted to the side. "How so?"
"You know, Mayan Calendar, 2012..."
"I have no idea to what you are referring, but it sounds absurd."
Dean knew that was Castiel for "please, don't worry". It was sweet in his way, you just had to know him to know that. And then Dean saw a curious expression cross Cas' face, a sort of mischievous amusement, that he tried to hide. He stared at him, waiting for him to speak.
"Although, if it does happen to be our last night on Earth, you made me a promise some years ago that I would not die a virgin."
Dean all but choked on his own throat. He laughed a little, feeling his heart flutter in a fashion he would die before admitting to. "I think I just fund my resolution," he joked.
Castiel smiled at him with questioning eyes, and Dean groaned a laugh. He wrapped his arms around Castiel, settling back into the couch. Castiel laid his body tightly against Dean's, noting the man's smile. Dean kissed the top of Cas' head as the smaller man fit into his side, resting his head onto Dean's chest. And the contented sigh that Dean gave, the way his arms wound so tightly around Cas, the smirk on his lips, it all told Cas - soon. Dean would keep that promise. Not tonight, but soon.
He nuzzled into Dean's warm body, feeling the man's fingers carding absently through his hair, and he smiled.
Optimism was a uniquely human emotion. And Castiel supposed, it was perfect for this particular holiday.