Monday approached faster than expected for the students of Hogwarts. It was the first day of P.E. and it was now common knowledge around the school that the new teachers did not go easy on you just because it was the first day.
On Friday, Hermione, having had one of the teachers before, told Harry and Ron some tales about her that weren't so pretty.
"She gave me detention on the first day of school because my gym clothes didn't have my name on them!" she had said, throwing her arms in the air.
Ron gaped at her and, not comprehending anything except the words 'Hermione' and 'detention' in the same sentence, merely said, "You've gotten detention before?"
Now it was Monday and the school was grim, the sky was grim, and Trelawney was, once again, seeing the grim. The reflecting scene of the sky above the Great Hall was a dull grey and covered in clouds, the sun barely shining through the blanket above.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," Hermione said after everytime she would bang her head on the table. "This-" bang "-totally-" bang "-sucks."
"Hermione, now, as your friend, I would advise you not to bang your head repeatedly on the table," Harry said, trying to hide his amused face as Hermione continued to bang her head. "No matter how funny it may be."
"Wassup my home skillet biscuit dawgs," Jenny said sitting down next to Harry. She didn't notice this at first, but when she did, her ears went pink. She then fingered her earrings, which today were one big hoop and one big, black stud.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at her.
"It means hi," she replied to their confused look.
"Then why don't you just say that?" Ron asked.
"Maybe it's because she doesn't feel like it! Gosh!" Ashley said from across the table.
"Well, maybe she does feel like saying that but doesn't want to!" Ron retaliated.
"Well, your mom goes to Hogwarts!"
"Oh no, here comes the momma jokes," Jenny said, shaking her head.
"Your mum is so fat that…she's fat!" Ron said, obviously not knowing how to keep himself in this game.
"Well, your momma so fat that when a school bus went by she said, 'Catch that twinkie!'" Ashley said.
Echo's of "ooo" and "burn" went around the surrounding students as they listened.
Harry thought of a joke and a sly grin came across his face. He waited until Ron was finished with his attempts at a joke then looked at Jenny and said, "Your mum is so fat that she makes my Aunt Marge look like a pixie."
"Oh snaps," said a girl named Caroline who was standing behind Ashley. They had all heard the story of how Harry blew up his aunt the year before.
"Oh yeah?" Jenny challenged. "Well, your…um…" She looked for a family member to diss but realized that his parents were dead, he had no known living relatives, and he could care less about his muggle aunt and uncle.
"I win," Harry said, grinning.
"Cheater. You did that on purpose," Jenny said, her ears going pink again.
"Nope, not cheating, it's strategy. A strategy I didn't plan, but still."
She smiled. He was smiling, too. Ashley, who was now looking back and forth between the two, stood up and forcibly made Jenny stand up with her.
"Classes are going to start so we, um, like, gots to get outta here. Now," she added firmly when Jenny didn't move. After a couple minutes of tugging, Ashley finally managed to get Jenny to move in the general direction of the double doors leading to the entrance hall.
Harry followed them with his eyes until they were out of sight. What just happened? He could have sworn he felt something sweep over him when they made eye contact. It was like someone filled him up with hot water from the top of his head, making him heat up and steam; not literally, of course, that would look ridiculous.
"Harry? Harry?" Hermione said waving a hand in front of his face. "Harry!" She snapped her fingers in front of his face. Harry jumped and focused on her, as if just realizing she was there.
"I didn't do it," he said automatically…and somewhat randomly
"Honestly," she said like she always did when one of the boys did something wrong. ""C'mon, she's right. The bell is going to ring and I don't want to be late for Charms. And I still have to buy my gym clothes."
"We've already got ours," Ron said, gesturing at him and Harry. He reached down to his book bag and pulled out a shirt and shorts set. "See," he said proudly, laying them on the table. The shirt was grey and had the Hogwarts crest on it in color, but beneath it read, "Physical Education Department" and held a white box for where you would write your name. Ron's shirt already read, "Weasley, Ron" on it. The shorts were plain black except for writing that read in gold, "Hogwarts Physical Education" above a white box, also for your name. Ron's already read, "Weasley, R".
"Oh, well, come with me to get them. I don't want to go by myself," Hermione said, shrugging, and pulled Ron out of his seat by the arm. Harry automatically stood up and followed them, not really noticing them, though. He was now thinking about who he was going to ask to the Yule Ball. And even though it was months away, he already had someone in mind.
"Sit down! Now!" Professor Page called through the newly constructed gym. His voice echoed, making all the students jump.
The gym had wooden floors with many different colored lines for different indoor sports; the stucco walls held several basketball hoops, and the opposite walls had bleachers that weren't pulled out at the moment. It had high ceilings with electric lights and a skylight, making it very light inside. It was a big contrast compared to the stone floors and walls of the Hogwarts castle.
"Ok, when your teacher calls your name, come sit down on the number your teacher calls out," Professor Whipple said. "The letters are here-" she gestured to letters on the north wall "-and the numbers are over there." She pointed to the numbers one through thirteen which were painted on the east wall.
"And you will be in alphabetical order and this spot will be your permanent spot for the rest of the year, so no moving," Professor Page said before picking up a clipboard and saying, "Hannah Abbott; A-1."
While he started on the names of his class, Hermione, Jenny, and Ashley were in a group on the floor along with Ginny Weasley, the girl named Caroline, Lavender Brown, Parvarti Patil, a girl named Alex Cave, a girl named Lindsey Giaccio, and a girl named Luna Lovegood. She was the only person there not from Gryffindor.
"Jenny Barley; E-3. Christine Brace; E-4. Lavender Brown; E-5. Alexandra Cave; E-6," Professor Whipple called.
"See ya!" Alex said as she stood up and walked bouncily to her spot.
"Bye, honey!" Lavender said. She blew the group a kiss, and as she walked away, she swung her hips a little too noticeably.
"Wow, this is boring," Luna said.
"Yeah, I could be doing so many more productive things right now," Parvarti said, examining her fingernails.
It was so boring, in fact, that the authors of this story have decided to let the readers decide who goes where and how long it took, since we are too lazy to tell you and make up that many characters.
"Now, as you may all know, you are starting gym this year and we will be your new teachers for the rest of your lives at Hogwarts," Professor Kvidahl started. "You might have a different teacher next year, and the year after that, but the rules do not change. You must wear your gym clothes every day you have gym and you can wash them on the weekends-"
"You mean we only wash them once a week? That's disgusting," Draco Malfoy said from Professor Osborne's class.
"Zip your lips, Draco!" Whipple called.
"Maybe I don't want to," Malfoy said, loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Take a lap, Malfoy!"
"But don't you care that it's our first day and that I don't know the rules?" he said in a false sweet voice that fooled no one.
"I'm a teacher, I don't have to care, now go!" She pointed towards the metal, double doors that led to the track outside. Malfoy huffed and stood up, walking lazily over to the doors. When he reached it, Osborne said, "Two laps."
Malfoy rolled his eyes and walked out the doors, letting them slam behind him.
"Now, where was I," Kvidahl said. "Oh yeah, rules. Well, you all are going to get a paper from your heads of houses shortly with P.E. requirements, sports, and rules, so I guess I won't talk about it."
"Great, now it's exercise time," Whipple said, grinning slyly at the students sitting on the floor. With the five teachers standing in front of them, if someone were to walk in right now it would look as if the teachers were about to whip them. "Stand up!"
The students groaned and stood up reluctantly.
"Never mind, sit down." She waved carelessly at them.
The students groaned again and sat down. Hermione looked over at Page's class and saw Harry and Ron exchange looks and then look over at her. She gave a small wave and they tried to grin at her, but managed a grimace instead.
"Right leg out, left leg in. Either reach for your ankle or your toes," Osborne called. A lot of the students could barely reach their shin. Hermione, having taken dance before Hogwarts (and we're saying this because it is possible), easily grabbed her toe and brought her head down to her knee.Lindsey, who also took dance classes, did the same. She then lowered herself into her full right splits, giggling when she noticed the other students gaping at her in amazement. Harry and Ron, who were struggling to keep a grip on their ankles, looked over at Hermione and gawked at the sight. She had never seemed to be the flexible type.
"Switch," Osborne called lazily. The students then put their left leg out and their right leg in. At that moment Malfoy walked back through the doors, a little red in the face and breathing heavily.
Again, Harry and Ron struggled with reaching their ankles and again Hermione was too flexible for her own good.
"Look at her," Ron whispered to Harry, since they sat next to each other in their rows. "That's creepy."
"Just a little bit," Harry said tearing his gaze away from a girl with mismatched earrings at the back of Whipple's class in the last row.
"Ok, time for push-ups!" yelled Professor Page. "One!" Only about two students (Hermione included) could do an actual push-up. "Two!" I can't do this! thought Harry. He fell to the ground along with about 50 others, and a painful zap went through his body.
"What was that?" Harry and Ron said at the same time.
"Do your stretches correctly and that won't happen!" said Professor Whipple.
The same thing happened while doing crunches, jumping jacks, and burpees. Some people had given up entirely and were just letting themselves get repeatedly electrocuted.
After about thirty minutes of that the students (some of which smelled like roasted chicken) were exhausted, which was a little pathetic considering they barely did anything compared to what they were in for…and what the authors put up with every day.
"Ok, now, we're going to go out to the track and run a mile just to see where you start off at--" Page said, but was cut off by students groaning.
"HEY!" Whipple yelled. "You wanna make it two miles?" The gym was silent. "That's what I thought. Page's class, break on one. Ready…break!" Page's class made a "We Will Rock You" sound once, then got up and walked to the double doors.
"Go around the classes," Page yelled as some kids – mainly the boys – started to walk through the other classes.
"My class, break on two. Ready…break!" Whipple yelled and her class breaked and walked out. When Hermione got up she ran to catch up with Harry and Ron, who were already outside. When she saw them, she sped up and deliberately bumped into them.
"Told you so!" she said squeezing in between them.
"I know you did, now go away, you're so annoying," Ron said. They were silent for a couple seconds until they all broke out in laughter.
"Like, OMFG, no way!" said a voice behind them. It was Ashley, who was wearing blue and orange striped socks that reached her knees, even though her gym shorts only reached her knees, too.
"Why do you two keep turning up even though we barely know you?" Ron asked.
"I dunno, it's in the script," Jenny said, fingering her hoop earring.
"What script?" Harry asked.
"Uh…" Jenny and Ashley exchanged worried glances.
"Script? Who said anything about a script?" Ashley, looking anywhere except at the Trio.
"You just did, just-" Ron said but was cut off by Jenny.
"No! I didn't say anything about a script. You know, Ron, even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign."
"Why do people keep saying things that sound oddly familiar?"
"'Cause we're cool like that," Ashley said and they walked off.
The Trio gazed after them, wondering if they would ever really tell them why they kept hanging around them…or if they could possibly find anyone more annoying. They already knew the answer to that one – no.
"Could we possibly find anyone more annoying?" Hermione asked.
"Ahh! They oddly familiar-ness! It burns!" Ron shrieked, spinning in circles. Harry and Hermione exchanged looks before stalking off, leaving Ron looking like a total idiot in the middle of the grass.
The mile run had to be the worst thing ever invented, was what every student with third period gym was thinking. The third period kids walked into the Great Hall, red faced and sweaty, not wanting to do anything except collapse onto the benches and go to sleep. Unfortunately, they still had three more sixty minute (or more or less, since these authors don't like math and don't really want to figure it out) periods left.
"I hate gym," Hermione said, sitting down next to a second year named Kelsey, who was short and had blonde hair and blue eyes.
"Yeah, me too," Ron said, plopping down next to Hermione and collapsing onto the table. He had learned to not be so oblivious now and was actually, somewhat, paying attention to some things that Hermione says.
Hermione, taken aback that Ron had heard her, merely smiled in his direction and put her elbow on the table and held her head in her hand.
"What was your time?" Harry asked, just now getting his breathing back on track.
"Umm, eleven fifteen I think," Hermione said. They didn't say anything. "Don't laugh! I suck at running."
"We noticed," Ron said after exchanging looks with Harry. "I got, umm…"
"Nine forty six. We ran together, smart one," Harry said, throwing an eraser at him. "That's another thing that's changed this year. We have pencils."
"Uh huh," Hermione said, not really caring that much. "I'm gonna go. I'll see you guys in potions." She walked off, slowly, and with a slight limp.
"What has gotten into her?" Ron asked.
"Dunno, but we should follow her," Harry said, gesturing in her direction with his head.
"Yeah, ok." They stood up and walked away from the Gryffindor table.
On their way out of the hall, they walked past Jenny and Ashley. Harry smiled at Jenny and she smiled back.
There's something about her, he thought. Something…