Chapter 19: Fun at the Ranch
Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit. I'm just playing with her peeps because I love them. This fic belongs to me, as do the babies. Please don't copy it.
'Loves Me Like A Rock', by Paul Simon, belongs to its respective owners. Lyrics from 365lyricsdotcom
Smurfette doesn't belong to me either. Nor do Star Wars, Star Trek or anything Disney.
Learn about polo at wwwdotsportpolodotcom
Valentine's Day to February 15th, 2014
Angela's pov:
It was the best Valentine's Day of my married life, because I was free. Ben knew everything, and he had accepted the Cullens' apology, and accepted the mythical creatures despite their differences. He was now a Secret Keeper like me.
After dinner, Claire handed around chocolate to everyone, and we moved to the great room to socialize for the evening. Rose got out Emmett's guitar, and before we knew it, a typical Cullen-style sing-along was in progress.
Jacob was sitting quietly to one side, half-asleep. He refused to move upstairs to his bed. He insisted on staying within range of Nessie.
Alice and Rose sat with me, chatting and asking questions about acquaintances back in Forks, and laughing with me about different things the Denalis had done.
Emmett had asked, through the heavy, metal infirmary door, if the family would sing the song Bella had mentioned earlier in the day, so we set up into two groups, and those who knew all the words sang the main part, and those who didn't sang the responses. Half the people got up and danced while they sang, and those who didn't dance clapped along.
(Ooohh..)
When I was a little boy (when I was just a boy)
And the Devil would call my name (when I was just a boy)
I'd say "Now who do, (who-oo)
Who do you think you're fooling?" (when I was just a boy)
I'm a consecrated boy (when I was just a bo-o-o-y)
I'm a singer in a Sunday choir (oooh)
Oh my mama loves me, she loves me
She'd get down on her knees and hug me (ahh a-a-ah)
(oh)She loves me like a rock
She rocks me like the rock of ages
And loves me
She love me, love me, love me, love me
When I was grown to be a man (grown to be a man)
And the Devil would call my name (grown to be a man)
I'd say "Now who do, (whooo)
Who do you think you're fooling?" (grown to be a man)
I'm a consummated man (grown to be a ma-a-a-n)
I can snatch a little purity (oooh)
My mama loves me, she loves me
She'd get down on her knees and hug me (ahh a-a-ah)
(oh)She loves me like a rock
She rocks me like the rock of ages
And loves me
She love me, love me, love me, love me
And if I was the President (was the President)
The minute that Congress called my name (was the President)
I'd say "Now who do, (whooo)
Who do you think you're fooling? (who do you think you're fooling)
I've got the Presidential Seal (was the president)
I'm up on the Presidential Po-o-dium (oooh)
My mama loves me, she loves me
She'd get down on her knees and hug me
(oh)She loves me like a rock
She rocks me like the rock of ages
And loves me
She love me, love me, love me, love me
(loves me like a rock)
We enjoyed a few more response songs and rounds, like we used to sing at camp. Then, the couples in the group started to drift away from the group. Finally, it was down to Carlisle, Esme, Bella, Rose, Alice, the newborn baby girls, and the four of us. My boys were still in full swing, thanks to their earlier nap. Darn it. And they were very interested in the babies, who were not interested in being mauled by toddlers.
"Why does Edward call Leah 'Smurfette'?" I asked Bella. All the Cullens laughed a little ruefully.
"She's the only female of her kind," Bella explained quietly.
"Ouch. That must be tough."
"She copes," Rose stated. "She's a lot happier now than she was five years ago, trust me. Who knows? She might get a family of her own someday."
"Doesn't it hurt her feelings?" I pressed.
"Not any more than it hurts Edward to be called 'Leech'. They have their own dynamic. There's affection under it, you know. She used to really hate us, and she's too proud to admit she likes it here. So they squabble, and everyone pretends she's miserable when they know she's not," Esme smiled.
Ben's head was nodding. Carlisle noticed. "Why don't you and Ben go up to bed? Let us take care of the boys. When they wear out, we'll put them in the nursery and one of us will sit in there and mind them for the night."
"I'll do it," Rose volunteered. Big surprise.
"Thank you, Rose. That would be great. It's a long time since we've had a solid sleep."
"Want us to haul Ben upstairs for you, girlfriend?" Bella teased. At least, I thought she was teasing.
"I don't think Ben would appreciate that much, girlfriend," I answered with a smile. I poked Ben gently. "Ben? Time to go to bed, honey. Can you make it upstairs?" Ben snored. He was totally zonked out. Alice snickered.
"Ridiculous." Rosalie snorted. "He's going to hurt his back. Bella? Go open the door for me."
"Aye, aye, sister," Bella saluted her.
Rose stood up.
"Wait," I protested.
"Why?" Rose asked.
"He'd be embarrassed if he found out you carried him up."
"I bet he won't even notice," she said, eyes rolling. The next thing I knew, I was standing outside our bedroom door next to Bella, and she was opening it so Rosalie could carry Ben into bed. Bella tiptoed in and pulled back the covers. As Rose set Ben down, he snored like a freight train. Bella and Rose started giggling like young girls. Bella turned on the fireplace. They hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, and tiptoed out. Vampires. Bossy little brats, more like.
I liberated Ben from his slippers, and retrieved my nightgown from the drawer. Soon, I was cuddled up under the thick duvet, dreaming the dreams of exhausted mothers everywhere.
The next morning, we were called down to breakfast, which progressed much in the fashion of dinner the previous night. Edward, Emmett and Jasper were with us, and their wives were back on duty watching Renesmee.
"Have a nice night without the kinder?" Emmett smiled suggestively. Edward smacked him upside the head without looking away from his newspaper.
"What?" Emmett protested. "I just want to know if their Valentine's Day went well."
Edward smacked him upside the head again.
Carlisle and Esme came in, carrying my boys, who seemed totally content. Theo was sucking his thumb, looking at Carlisle like he was the best thing since sliced bread, and Evan was wrapping drool covered fingers in Esme's hair. She was talking to him in a singsong voice about wolf cubs and bears.
"I am going to have to hire you two to babysit for me regularly," I teased.
"Be careful what you wish for," Carlisle threatened. "We just love kids."
"You have quite a number of them running around here. Where are your great-granddaughters this morning?" I asked.
"Jacob's spending some quality time with them," Esme replied.
Edward snickered. "By the sounds of it, he's getting to know how to change dirty diapers."
"He must know how, already. He looked after Renesmee for you sometimes," Esme protested.
"He never looked after her when she was too little to hold up her head, Mother. And the erm, consistency of the ... hazardous material, definitely changes over time."
"Oh, yeah," Ben concurred.
"You wouldn't believe the language in his head," Edward chortled gleefully. "I may have to bleach my brain. That kid knows words I've never heard before. And that's really saying something."
"Welcome to parenthood, Jacob," Ben grinned.
"He says 'thank you', very sarcastically," Edward informed my husband.
"He can hear that?" Ben asked, astonished.
"Yeah. The nursery walls are not soundproofed, unlike the bedrooms. There's not much chance that anything you say in the public rooms of the house will be missed. One thing about it, it cuts down on gossip," Edward said with satisfaction, folding his section of paper and swapping it for Jasper's.
"How is Nessie doing?" Esme asked Edward.
"Coming along. She was mostly unconscious through the night. Had a bad spot around 4am, but the ice really seemed to help. Wish we'd figured it out years ago."
"You think you wish," Carlisle sighed.
"Soon be over. Alice thinks just after dinnertime."
"Wonderful. So what's the plan for the day?" Carlisle wondered.
"You tell me, Captain. So long as I'm home at dinnertime, anything goes."
"The wolves are planning to do their routine patrols. All the chores are pretty much caught up. Why don't you show Ang and Ben around?" the patriarch of the clan suggested.
"Hmm... Little Angel? What would you think about going for a run this morning?"
"A run? Seriously? Like you used to take Bella on?" I was instantly raring to go.
"Sure."
"Really? Like, wow. That is so cool. Ben? Edward used to carry Bella all over the Olympic Peninsula on his back. She says he's faster than anybody on the planet," I gushed. Ben made a noncommittal noise.
Edward's yellow eyes met mine over the top of his paper. "Bella wasn't so thrilled at first. She used to be so terrified that I'd let her hit a tree, that when I stopped moving, she wouldn't let go of me. She just hung off me like a baby squirrel. The first time it happened, I pried her fingers off me, and she landed on her duff on the ground. That's the first time my family ever heard me laugh, incidentally." He grinned and laughed a little, remembering. "So, are you up for it, Ben?"
"Is it faster than a roller coaster?" he wondered.
"Probably, but it's a lot smoother. Unless you let a wolf carry you, and then their gait wobbles you around. But I must admit that's kind of fun, so you should try it."
"Okay. Can't let a unique opportunity pass by, right?"
"Good call."
"You let a wolf carry you, Edward?" Emmett asked.
"Sure. Nessie made me."
Emmett made a raspberry-ish splutter. "Wimp."
"Takes one to know one, Emmy Bear."
"Tell me it wasn't Jacob," Emmett insisted.
"Nope."
"Who?"
"Leah."
"Aw, that's not much better, bro. You let a girl carry you."
"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer, Em."
"If you lot are doing anything fun today, you'd best get on your way," Esme ordered.
"Okay, Mom. We'll stop using up all the oxygen with useless talk and go get some fresh air. Who's watching the kinder?" Edward set down his paper.
"Jacob can watch his own kinder for a couple of hours. I'll watch Evan and Theo. You should get the wolves to take their mates along. Have a race. Gambol about or something. Wear them out so they're quiet for five minutes."
"Sounds like a plan. You coming, Dad?"
"No, I think I'll hang around here and play with the kids, if you don't mind."
"Better hope they save their dirty diapers for Mother, Carlisle," Edward teased, smiling crookedly. He listened to the air for a second. "Oh, too bad, Alice. Oh, well, that's better." Edward snickered more fiercely than ever. We all stared at him.
"Sorry. Alice had a vision. She says the boys will be angels for you, Esme, but the girls are going to give Jake another nasty pair of mustard-filled diapers this morning."
Edward chuckled again. "Sorry Jake! Jake says 'aw'. Poor Jake," he informed us melodramatically. Then he whispered, "Not."
"Don't talk about diapers at the table, Edward, and you be nice to your son-in-law!" Esme admonished.
Edward just rolled his eyes. "I think I've been very nice. He's still breathing after knocking up my daughter out of wedlock."
"Pot to kettle," Esme admonished. My head whipped around. I was astounded.
"That's different and you know it. Bella and I didn't even go all the way. We didn't even know it could happen. Jake, and my kid, on the other hand, being educated, were very naughty."
"I think Renesmee was in charge of that decision, Trouble," his mother reminded him.
"Sure, sure. My daughter the succubus. She's too much like her mother."
"Quite a lot of her father in her, too. I seem to recall you breaking every rule," Carlisle smirked at his son.
"Bite me. Again. I followed as many rules as I could manage." Edward protested, grinning like a small, naughty boy.
"Dude! You broke the Volturi Prime Directive and the Quileute Treaty. Then, you created Nessie without even trying," Jasper reminded him.
"This isn't 'Star Trek', Jazz. It just feels like it sometimes. I gave you a lot of new relatives. So sue me."
"Oh, how the mighty have fallen," Emmett moaned.
"I was the last chaste vampire on the planet. It couldn't last forever."
"Not with Bella around," Emmett guffawed.
"Watch your step, she's listening. Come on, people. Let's roll. Daylight's burning."
Edward passed the word that we were going for a group run with the pack. Ben and I hurried to put on our winter clothes, to which Edward added hats and mufflers and fur-lined leather mittens. Then, we collected outside. A few girls came to join Ben and I, Edward, Jasper and Emmett. We stood in front of the lodge, waiting under the silvery sky.
"Brace yourselves," Edward warned, grinning crookedly. Suddenly, we heard the ground tremble, and felt it thrum under our feet. Edward turned, and we followed his gaze. From behind the house, issued a group of monsters: wolves, big as horses, with lolling pink tongues and teeth like steak knives. Ben and I clutched hands nervously. Edward patted us. "No reason to worry," he promised.
The huge wolves skidded into our midst, and dropped to their haunches. Kim, and Emily immediately ran over and scrambled up onto the backs of their mates, who stood back up, fast as lightning, and took off like a shot into the woods. Claire climbed carefully onto the back of a slightly smaller wolf. It bounded off after the others. Two more wolves arrived. One ran straight after its brothers. The other, a relatively small grey one, halted in front of us.
"You want to race, huh, Leah? Well, I think you need a handicap. I insist. You run faster than any vampire alive. No. Yes. Well, maybe. Want me to ask him? Okay." Ben and I frowned, attempting to follow this befuddling, half-silent conversation.
Edward turned to my husband, gesturing at the wolf. "Ben, you've met Leah. She wants to know if you'll ride on her back so that she can run a race with me that's more fair." Edward turned his head back toward Leah. "Yeah, right, Fluffy. We all know you like to compete with me." He listened to the wolf again. "Whatever, Smurfette."
"What are you bantering about now?" I demanded.
"Oh, she's just making a crack about my age." Edward shrugged. "One of these nights, Smurfette, I'm gonna dye you blue while you're sleeping."
Leah growled. How was it physically possible for a wolf to look sarcastic?
"Ooh. My, my. What big teeth you have. Are we racing or not, girl wonder?"
Leah plopped her body down in the powdery snow. A cloud of it whooshed up around us, making me shiver. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth and she barked a laugh.
"Brat. Here, Ben? Take your mitts off, please. Put your hands in Leah's scruff, and your foot on her foreleg, and swing your other foot over her back. Very good. Now, wrap your fingers in her fur, and really hold tight, okay? Up you get, lazy Leah. Angel? Come hop up on my back. Race to the creek, Leah? Mark, get set, ... GO!"
We were off like a cannonball, and the surrounding landscape blurred. I wondered if this was how astronauts felt in their anti-gravity simulators. It was very close to flying. I looked up at Ben, grinning at me from atop the giant wolf, who was keeping pace with Edward step for step. It was exhilarating, like being in a plane without the plane.
I giggled madly from my perch. No wonder Bella had loved this. I imagined her skipping gym in senior year, to rendezvous with Edward. The cheeky devil was wearing that look Bella had told me about. The one that expressed his love for speed.
As we passed into the woods, the others caught up with us. The wolves and vampires and humans were all barking and cheering, egging Edward and Leah on. We turned right, and I discovered that we were back on the public road that led to the ranch.
Suddenly, a few miles down the road, a logging truck appeared. There was an exclamation from everyone in the group, and then every single monster and human retreated in a single bound into the roadside trees. Edward crouched in the shadows, with me on his back, and his brothers and Leah at his side. Everyone was utterly still. It was spooky.
The truck drew near. The driver did not so much as glance around. He continued on. After a few minutes, Edward stood up and carried me carefully out of the woods, into the middle of the road. He looked up and down the road both ways, and whistled loudly. Everyone leaped out of the covering brush and congregated in the middle of the road.
The sun peeked out from behind the clouds, and Ben and I gasped as Edward and his brothers' skin turned reflective. Prisms of light danced off them, like they were disco balls. The Wolf People laughed, and Edward rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. We sparkle. Get over it," he said sarcastically. "Finishing the race, Fluffy?"
Emmett guffawed, still sparkling, and drew a line across the snow with his foot. Soon, the race was on again. We hurtled down the road and then veered left into the woods. The Quileutes were bellowing encouragement to Leah, and Edward's brothers were rooting for him. Edward put on a burst of speed. He pulled slightly ahead of Leah. She launched herself into the air, and Edward flung himself after her. We were flying, I realized, toward a shallow creek.
Edward landed and his feet splashed cold water up around us. Leah thumped down heavily beside us, nearly knocking Edward over. But she was too late.
"I win!" Edward crowed, exchanging high-fives with Emmett and Jasper. He put me down on dry land and twirled me in a little victory dance. Leah walked over and huffed out a big sigh, which blew the hair back out of my face. She was pouting.
"Rematch later, Smurfette. Be glad I didn't take you up on your bet." Edward laughed. He held out his right hand to Leah, and she lifted her massive paw and shook with him. Then, she sneezed. All over us. Wetly. Edward recoiled in disgust.
"Eeeew!" he wailed. "Doggy breath! Leah! You know how bad you smell, right? I ought to turn you into a coat for that. Just because Jacob is my daughter's mate doesn't entitle you to huff your putrid scent all over me! You smell like a dog's backside." He wiped at his face and neck, grimacing.
Leah, meanwhile, was having a doggy paroxysm, tongue hanging out of her mouth and eyes rolling.
"And here I was going to ask you to partner up with me for the game!" Edward pouted, crossing his arms and facing away from her. Every wolf ear perked up, swivelling toward Edward.
All the wolves drew close, as did Emmett and Jasper, paying an inordinate amount of attention to the show as far as I was concerned.
"Game?" Emmett repeated, rolling the word off his tongue like it smacked of paradise.
"No, not until Leah says she's sorry," Edward huffed, sneaking a peek at Leah and winking at me. "I am not full of it, Leah! That was unacceptable... No, I do not believe it was an accident." Edward repressed a smirk with difficulty.
"Leah! He's offering us a game," Emmett whined, practically stamping his foot. "You know Edward thinks up good games, Leah."
Leah whined, rolled her eyes again and bent her forelegs to the ground, with her paws over her nose. She grumbled and woofed. Edward stuck his nose in the air.
"Not good enough," he stated.
Leah rolled on her back and howled.
"Okay. Apology accepted." Edward grinned. "Be right back."
Edward was gone in a flash, and back in three seconds. He was carrying two huge bags and two hockey nets.
"Hockey, Edward?" Jasper asked eagerly.
"Nobody's dressed for it. You can lead a game on the rink at home later, Jazz."
"So what's the game?" Emmett demanded impatiently. Edward declined to answer, unzipping the bag and grinning smugly at Emmett. He pulled out a long-handled mallet made of metal, and a small, solid, fluorescent ball.
"Croquet?" Emmett asked incredulously.
Edward rolled his eyes. "Polo. Divide up teams, and human riders get a helmet and a mallet."
"There are only three vampires, Edward. It's an unfair advantage," Jasper pointed out.
"I'm refereeing, Jazz. You and Em can be a pair. Your strength against the wolves' speed."
"Awesome, Tough Guy. Bring it!" Emmett smacked his hand into his fist and danced up to the bag.
"Choose teams," Edward ordered. "Angel? You're Red Captain. Emily? You're Blue."
I looked the group over. "Me and Leah."
Emily called, "Me and Sam."
I called, "Ben and Embry."
Emily pointed, "Hmm... Claire and Quill."
"Jasper and Emmett." I decided smugly. Who could beat them? They were so competitive.
"Jared and Kim." Emily finished.
Edward started to explain the game. "The field of play is 300 yards long and 160 yards wide, slightly larger than nine football fields and almost 10 acres in size. It is the largest field in organized human sport.
"The area beyond the side and end lines is called the 'run off'. Whatever happens there is treated like it's on field.
"In human games, the goals are quite large. We will be using the nets instead, to make things more challenging. Goals are located in the center of each end line. If the ball goes out of bounds, it just gets knocked back in, by the defending team, from the back line. No time-out is allowed for a Knock-In.
"The game starts at center field. Each team lines up in single file, with each team facing the ump. That's me. So I roll the ball between the two teams, and play begins.
"Each team normally has four players. Indoor matches have three, so we'll be fine with your teams. There are no set plays. Instead, players try to anticipate where the ball will be, and get it through the goal, just like soccer, except there's no goalie. Each player is allowed to make any play to help the team, changing position as necessary.
A normal match lasts about an hour and a half. The periods are called chukkers. There are six in a match. Each chukker lasts seven minutes. I'll whistle a warning, thirty seconds before the chukker ends. I'll shout 'Done' to finish it. Normally, there are breaks and a half-time. Not gonna happen here, people.
"The clock stops for a foul, a fall, an injury, loss of helmet or if the ball rolls out of bounds.
"A lost or broken mallet does not stop play. You may leave the field and grab a new one, or upend the mallet and whack the ball with the handle. Hopefully the vamps won't demolish the special mallets. I had to have them made.
"Keep your strokes slow and smooth. Shut up, Emmett! Each kind of stroke has a name, which I'm not going to bother teaching you today. Just hit the ball.
"There is to be no body contact between wolves, and riders must not swing their mallet in front of a wolf's legs or over another rider's wolf's head. The player who hit the ball has the right of way, and other players cannot cross the imaginary path, or "Line of the Ball" in front of that player.
Anything that might cause injury is a foul. Penalty lines are 30 yards from the goal, 40 yards, 60 yards, and at midfield. The umpire decides how severe the penalty will be. There had better not be any fouls, people. Let's go!"
"Wait, Tough Guy! What's the prize?" Emmett demanded.
"Winning captain gets to make up the team's chore list for a week," Edward declared. There were delighted exclamations.
We all donned helmets, red or blue. Leah walked to the middle of the field and faced Edward. Emily and Sam stood opposite us. The rest of our teams lined up single file as directed.
Edward rolled the ball between us, and Emily and I had a skirmish for control of it. Finally, Emily knocked it past me, toward Red's goal. Emmett snuck in under the wolves bellies, and Jasper swatted the ball back toward the Blue side, throwing a great deal of snow in the air with his swing.
This continued for several minutes, before Emily managed to hit the ball so hard that it flew through the air toward our goal. Claire intercepted the ball and lobbed it into Red's net. There was a round of praise from the Blue riders. Edward whistled, and soon yelled, "Done!"
We all met, back at the center. "Second chukker," Edward announced, rolling the ball in. This time, I did not wait on ceremony. I lunged forward and violently struck the ball. Embry streaked down the field, making tunnels through the snow, and Ben gave the ball a solid hit. Unfortunately, Kim was there to block it. She passed the ball to Emily, who again cracked her mallet into the ball so hard, I thought the ball would shatter to powder. Emmett and Jasper blocked the goal, sending the ball back toward me. I whacked it over the center line, and Edward called the end of the second period. We groaned.
In the third chukker, nobody scored.
In the fourth chukker, nobody scored, but Claire fell off Quill's back into a drift and we had to have a time out. Being a brave kid and a good sport, she got back up on Quill's back and resumed play.
In the fifth period, Ben managed to hook Jared's mallet and send it flying. Jared left the field to get a new mallet, leaving his team vulnerable. Jasper took advantage of his absence to knock the ball through Blue's goal. Edward called an end to the period.
Our teams were tied 1-1. Edward declared the last period started, and rolled in the ball. Emily and I dived for it madly, and ended up with our mallets hooked together. We struggled, and after several tries, the mallets came apart. I retained my seat on Leah's back with difficulty. Meanwhile, the ball was careening toward Blue's goal, at Ben's hand. Hurray! Aw! I spoke too soon. Jared knocked the ball back toward center again. Jasper got under him and knocked the ball back toward Blue's goal. Edward whistled: only 30 seconds left.
Leah leaped in the air and came down beside the ball. I hit it as though I wanted to do it murder. Oh. My. Gosh. SCORE!!! Edward called, "Done! Winners? Red Team!"
Our team surrounded me, screaming with excitement. Emmett hoisted me off Leah's back and spun me in a circle. "You get to pick our chores!" he crowed.
"Each of you can tell me which chores you prefer, when we get back to the house," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Last time we played a game, we lost and I ended up cleaning bathrooms for a week. Thanks for getting that goal, Angel-girl. I owe you one."
"Is it lunch time yet?" Claire demanded. Edward looked at her quizzically as he finished packing up the equipment.
"Are you growing?" he asked her incredulously.
"No, I'm wasting away to nothing. You vampires forget we need to eat. Can we go home?" she whined.
"Last one there's a rotten egg!" Edward yelled, sweeping me onto his back. He started running before any of the humans could even get on their wolves' backs.
"So what do you think?" my adopted big vamp brother asked me as he ran.
"Have you ever seen the kids' movie, 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks'? This reminds me of the soccer match," I declared. Edward chuckled, nodding his agreement.
We left the field behind us, runnels of snow-less lines carved into the expanse of white. The cold air whistled around us as Edward ran, and the pack caught up and ran companionably with us. In no time at all, we were back at the ranch.
As we approached the entrance, Bella ran outside.
"Nessie's waking up early!" Bella exclaimed. Edward dashed inside with his wife. The rest of us filed in after him, slowly.
So, will Nessie be in control of herself, like her mother, or will she try to eat her human friends? Stay tuned for the next chapter of "As Renesmee Turns". Don't forget to review, please.