Security

Storm clouds filled Karats' mind as he returned to the staffroom to pick up his laptop. He could not believe that bucktoothed bastard, trying to tell him how to do his job. He went to the table where he had flung down his bag earlier in the day. It wasn't there. Karkat stared at the blank space a moment, and then spun around. Only Mr. Makara and Miss. Pyrope were in the staffroom at this time, both their classes starting later. He turned on the Law teacher, knowing that it would take a goddamn miracle to get a straight answer out of Makara.
"Terezi, have you seen my laptop ba-oh, shit..." The blind woman raised an eyebrow at him, smirking.
"Smooth, Karkat. Always a charmer." She laughed. Karkat put his hands over his face and groaned. Despite her disability, Miss Pyrope was one of the best in her subject, having retired from the bar to teach. She was also very popular with her students, as she never set written work.
"Sorry, sorry. Fuck. I had to talk to the goddamn new headmaster earlier and..." Terezi waved a hand.
"Don't worry about it. But no, I don't know where your bag is. Ask Gamzee." Karkat turned to the RE teacher, glaring.
"Bag?" Gamzee came down from whatever cloud his mind was currently dicking about on, and pointed to the sofa that had recently been the stage to Mr. Ampora's theatrics. The laptop bag was leaning against the arm.
"Right there, my little angry brother." He smiled broadly, his unkempt black hair hanging over his eyes.
"Shut up." Karkat grabbed the bag and strode out of the room, face burning. As the door clicked shut again, Terezi laughed into her coffee.

"Shut up and sit down" said Karkat as he entered his classroom. He knew his cheeks were still a little red after that embarrassing incident in the staffroom, but this class were his 5th years, and they knew him well enough not to make a sound when the professor was in one of these moods. As the class settled, Karkat took out his laptop and fumbled with the attachments that would link it to the overhead projector. He'd stick some scenes on for the class to analyze and die quietly in his chair. "At least," he thought sardonically, "the morning can't get any worse."

Sollux sat with his feet on his desk, one hand behind his head.
"Can anyone tell me the dangerth of leaving your computer unattended?" He pointed lazily at a raised hand. "Yeth?"
"Someone could steal it?" Sollux nodded at his student.
"Yeth, they could, but in a plathe where you might encounter thaid thief every day, there ith a much more elegant method of theft. Anyone know what that is?" He browsed the hands again. "Nicole?"
"They could download a keylogger?" The student grinned as the professor gave her a thumbs up.
"Never leave your thtuff around for other people to pith about with, thame goes for leaving your email open in a public plathe. There will allwathe be some bathtard around who will theriousthly meth your thtuff up. Let'th see a practical exthample, thall we?"

"All right, we're going to be analyzing camera technique in the wedding scene we looked at last week. Take notes, expect questions." Karkat clicked on the video file, and slumped down in his chair with his fingers pressed into his eyeballs. He was so sunk in misery, it took him a few seconds to realise that the students in front of him were sniggering. In fact, it had gone beyond sniggering now, there was definite laughter happening. He moved his hands from his eyes, and turned very slowly in his chair, horror making the world appear to be moving at half speed. On the screen, the clip playing was not the one he had prepared. Defiantly not. Animated muscles bulged on the anthromorph horses that seemed to fill Karats' world. Other things bulged too. The laughter in the class had risen to such a level he could no longer hear the slimy background music as the creatures writhed on the huge projector screen. Karkat finally let out a strangled scream, and frantically tried to exit the video player. Nothing happened, his laptop wouldn't respond. Behind him, the speakers on the wall emitted a low bellow. Panicking, Karkat leant round and pulled the cables that connected his laptop to the projector, and the noises of man-horses in the throes of pleasure stopped. Unfortunately, the laughter of his students did not.
At times of great stress, the mind has a distressing tendency to pick up on little, irrelevant details, possibly to escape from the current reality. Karkat's mind, in a mad attempt to exit a world where his class were in hysterics over his inadvertent showing of anthro-horse smut, noticed the green light next to the little camera that signalled his webcam was transmitting. A conversation window popped up, and the mustard yellow text that he knew belonged to the perpetrator bored into his eyeballs.
"problem, vanta2?"

Sollux's classroom echoed with laughter as he cut off the webcam channel he had projected on the screen behind him, showing a parting shot of the enraged face of Mr. Vantas.
"Tho, clath. You thee how eathy it ith for thomone with the knowhow to get on to your perthonal computer, actheth your fileth and thet up an on-command thtream to your webcam?" He pushed his glasses up his nose, mismatched eyes flicking down to the angry wall of grey text that was filling the chat window with profanities. He grinned to himself, typing- "the real video cliip ii2 iin your porn folder, dumba22". Sollux knew that Karkat had a porn folder on his work laptop, because he had placed it there himself this morning, having a few free minutes after setting up the camera stream while Karkat was talking to the Headmaster. All the clips in it were named "2exyhor2etiime" 1-9, and he considered telling Vantas exactly which one was the clip from his dumb movie. "Nah," he thought, tossing his memory stick up in the air and catching it. "I've been nithe enough jutht telling him where it ith."