Something was tickling my eyelashes, I brushed it away lazily, determined to enjoy a late nap, I had worked hard all day and I deserved this. The sun had just started setting making the entire village look gold then purple, people were lighting the lanterns on their houses and the cicadas where singing as loudly as they could. From my position on the top of the roof of town hall I felt like I was sleeping on top of the whole world. I felt more tickling, this time by my ear. "Rahi" I knew who it was the minute she said my name in her hushed voice, I pretended to ignore her, then slowly slid my eyes open, glancing toward her. Ying. She had a determined look in her eyes and I knew she had something up her sleeve.
"What is it Ying? I was over at Phillip's all day helping plant pineapple, I just want to sleep."
"Sleep?" She said, treating it like a foreign word, "Don't you know what tonight is?"
"No." I yawned, rolling over so my back was toward her, "And I don't care."
"Tonight-" She jabbed her big toe into my side, causing me to yelp and sit up, "Is the Star Gazing festival in Bluebell, and I heard this year they are going to have fireworks at midnight." Her facial expression didn't change as she said this, but I could tell she was excited.
"So? Only a little kid would be excited about that." I knew what she was implying, but felt too lazy to go for it.
"… Don't say that just because you turned 18 already. I only have a few more months before I am too."
"What do you want Ying?" I finally asked again, getting a little bit frustrated with the way she was going in circles.
"Let's go." I looked into her brown eyes, reflecting the lights of the town, I knew she really wanted this, but I knew what my answer had to be.
"No. If my mom ever found out I took you so far, and so late at night she would skewer us, more specifically me." Her straight face turned into a small frown.
"Rahi, it's been months now since my last attack. No one will find out and I've never seen fireworks. Let's go."
Somehow she could always see through what I was saying and she only addressed what she knew I really meant. She was gripping my hand firmly now and I began to feel my determination slipping away. I looked at her face full of energy and wondered how such a shy quiet girl ever got this way, she had on cut off jean shorts and her favorite faded T-shirt on. It had five small pandas marching with different instruments across it with the bottom portion covered by a large but faded stain where she had accidentally overturned a bowl of ramen one night at Yun's. Her thick dark hair was loose and her feet were bare. The more her health improved the more adventurous she was starting to become. Sometimes these days I felt more like a guardian or big brother than a friend. I sighed, "OK. Let's go, but first you need to put some shoes on."
A small sweet smile spread across her face and I followed her down the roof as the last small sliver of sun disappeared over the horizon.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Snacks?"
"Check." Ying held up a bag of potato chips and panda shaped cookies. We were back in my room getting ready for our hike up the mountain.
"Jacket?"
"Che- huh? Why do I need a jacket? Its summer." She looked at me quizzically. Thankfully she actually had shoes, she had just kicked them off before climbing up the roof.
"Because it gets cold at night, you didn't bring a jacket? Go back and grab one."
"I can't. It was hard enough just sneaking out once." She said this last sentence so nonchalantly.
"What? Yun doesn't even know you're gone?" I never thought she would sneak out, and I felt anger surging up in me over how rashly she was acting.
"No." She hissed back, "… She definitely wouldn't let me go. She thinks I'm still so fragile."
"Okay, okay, here. Borrow one of mine." I slid one of my hoodies over her shoulders. She wiggled her arms into the sleeves. Ying was touchy whenever it came to her and Yun. She loved Yun but Yun had a tendency to baby her and Ying was beginning to get annoyed by it. But as I looked at her pale wrists slipping out of my jacket sleeves, so slender I could easily close my hand over them, I understood Yun's concern. Ying's health had been improving with a lot of help from Dr. Ayame, but her stamina was still so low and even though attacks were rare they did happen from time to time. Her immune system was low too, any small virus going around Konohana Ying caught and caught worse than anyone else. I could still hear the small catch in her voice from the cold she had just recovered from.
"I think that's all, are we gonna go now Rahi?" Ying asked, packing the snacks into a bag she slung around her shoulder.
"Yeah." I said, "Follow me."
I knew my mom was probably still checking around town, or visiting with the farmer and his wife, but I still was cautious coming downstairs from the house into the main lobby. Everything was still and quiet, no one in sight.
"Okay. Looks like we're good to go."
Humidity from the hot summer day still hung in the night air when we had first left Konohana, but now it was starting to get a little chilly. I could faintly hear our footsteps above the racket of the cicadas. I could also hear Ying's breath, heavy sounding, as she sucked in large gulps of air.
"Why don't we stop here Ying? We're close enough to the top of the mountain now." I thought she might argue with me again, the way she did the five other times I suggested we stop. Instead she threw down her bag and sat on a log, taking long deep breaths the way Dr. Ayame had showed her to do.
"Ying are you okay?" The air had become steadily crisper the farther up the mountain we went and I was getting concerned about her.
"I'm…. just fine….. do you have the blanket?" She took a long swig of the tea from the bottle we had been sharing.
"Yeah, I grabbed it." I took out a large quilt from my backpack, it was a hodgepodge of different scraps of fabric I had as long as I could remember. I held it to my face and sucked in a deep breath. It had always smelled the same way, the smells of me and Ying, mingling together. Whenever I saw it I always thought back to when we were little, playing on it together. How I used to not understand why Ying couldn't go over my house, and when I did understand how hard I tried to make up for her not being able to run around like I could. I spread it out on the ground and Ying grabbed the corners of it, smoothing them down. Then she sat down on it, crossing one long slender leg over the other. I sat down beside her. I had known for a long time that there was my spot. Right beside her.
"How long do you think there is until midnight?" She looked at me, her breathing much more quiet and steady now.
"Soon." I lied, I had no idea what time it was but it felt like time was flying.
"Yeah." She said and I felt her cold small fingers wrap around mine, and her head rested delicately on my shoulder. "Hey Rahi?"
"Yes Ying?"
"Wake me up when they start."
"No way! You dragged me out here when I wanted to sleep now you need to stay awake." I poked her soft cheek.
"Rahi…" She looked up at me with a weak but beautiful smile.
I heard I small whiny sound and I knew the fireworks were starting. But all I could focus on was Ying, how pretty she was and how much I wanted to protect her with all I had. Pop! Pop! Pop! The brilliant lights reaching higher and higher. And I felt higher, higher than I did on top of the roof, on top of the mountain, or anywhere. I felt like the universe was spinning with me and Ying on top of it. It was perfect, beautiful. I closed my eyes and sucked it in. When I opened my eyes I saw Ying smiling at me, the universe was slowing down and I could hear the thunderous noise of fireworks crashing overhead. Ying squeezed my hand a little tighter and looked at the sky.
"Thank you. For tonight, for everything. You're the greatest friend I could ever imagine having."
I wasn't sure what to say to this sudden gratitude, so I simply said "You're welcome."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
I wasn't sure what time it was when I snuck back into the house through my bedroom window. 3? 4? I had walked Ying back and made sure she made it home safely, and undetected. She looked so weary I knew she would crash the minute she hit the pillow. For me, though, it was a different story. A million thoughts and memories flew around through my head but they all ended up going back to the same place: Ying smiling at me on the top of the mountain. I thought I would never ever fall asleep, but I must have at some point, it was mid-afternoon now and sunlight was streaming through my window. I slowly pulled myself up, looking in a small mirror on my closet door. I looked disheveled, my black hair sticking up in random places and the clothes I was wearing last night dirty and crumpled. I knew I couldn't go down and have my mom see me like this. I peeled off the shirt and walked to the bathroom, slowly I washed my face and neck, smoothing down uncooperative strands of hair. Throwing a fresh shirt and some deodorant on, I finally made my way to the kitchen. My mother, Ina, the town's mayor was sitting at the kitchen table flipping through a book and sipping puer tea. When she saw me, though, she closed the book, a straight expression on her face. I felt a small moment of doubt, did she know? I tried to act as calmly as possibly, "Good morning, mom." She gave me a small smile, "Good morning, Rahi. I made you a smoothie, I know you had a long day yesterday."
"What?" It rushed out too suddenly and sharply. Mom arched a thin black eyebrow at me.
"Helping Phillip, with the pineapples. He was telling me last night what a fantastic job you did. He says you have a perfect eye for planting in straight lines." I knew her tone, it was the tone she used when others praised me, but it let me know she wasn't particularly impressed. After all the future mayor of the town had to do much, much more than plant straight rows of pineapple. As I seemed to be constantly reminded.
I sighed, sitting down across from her and sucking down a few gulps of the smoothie. All my favorite fruits mashed to bits, perfect.
I watched as Mom folded her strong slender hands over each other, assuming business position. I knew this well too, the same position she used when she informed me that she and Dad were splitting. Suddenly I realized I had fallen into her trap completely. The calmness in her voice. The smoothie. I was dead. Completely and totally screwed.
"So. You must have had quite the adventure last night. Care to share?"
I managed to swallow my mouthful of smoothie without choking. Here it comes. I thought carefully, decided to feign innocence for the moment, "Planting pineapples isn't that exciting, but Phillip showed me some neat things about trenches..."
"Don't-" she said harshly, leaving the thought momentarily unfinished, "Act stupid with me Rahi. I checked your room when I came home last night and I know you were long gone by then. Yun came by this morning. Ying is in the infirmary with a sudden attack and I know you were out there with her."
"Mom…" I tried to explain myself but I felt a chill run down my spine, an attack?
"Don't interrupted me, Rahi." Her hard stare shut me up fast, "I can't believe you would sneak out with a girl, even if it was Ying. How long has this been going on? Are you a couple? I don't know anything and now she's hurt. Ayame says that a possible trigger of such a violent attack could be pregnancy. What would you do then, Rahi?"
I swallowed. Letting what she was saying sink in on me. She thought Ying and I were… together? She was paused now, waiting for me to respond. I could feel anger welling up in my throat ready to spit out at her, but I knew better than to lose it in front of her. I tried not to let my voice quake.
"That's not the reason she had the attack."
She stared at me flatly, "Then what is?"
I took in a deep breath, truth time. "She wanted to see the fireworks Bluebell was setting off, I told her it wasn't a good idea for her to go that far but…" Mom's eyes shut and she sucked in a tight breath, I knew she was at least slightly relieved, "She begged me to go and… I gave in. I've never snuck out before…" I felt my voice crack a little, "Can I go see her?"
She breathed out, looking away from me, I braced myself for a full-on assault "No. Not yet, anyways. I'm glad you were truthful with me but don't think there won't be repercussions from your actions. You shouldn't have let her sway you like that if you're going to be mayor you need to learn to not le…" I didn't understand why she had stopped, but then I saw she was looking at me. I don't know what my face looked like but it must have been pretty miserable. Miserable enough to prevent her from going into the mayor spiel. She sighed, resting her fingers on the bridge of her nose.
"Oh Rahi… Fine. Go see Ying, but first give Yun a full apology. Then come right back home. I'll be sitting here with your punishment when you get back."
I gulped, "OK, thanks."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Konohana clinic was, as usual, far too clean with the pungent smell of hand sanitizer comingling with the smell of the fragrant carnations I was holding. It was so suffocating. Ayame gave me a cold look.
"Good morning Rahi, here to see Ying, I assume?" I know inside she was probably thinking a thousand ridiculous thoughts about me and Ying.
"Yeah. That would be nice, is Yun here?"
"Of course she is. Come with me." Her black heels made annoying clicks as I followed her around a hall to where Yun was seated. She looked weary, sitting by a cold white bed with a curtain around it where I assumed Ying was. I didn't want to scare her so I said gently as possible, "Yun?"
She looked up at me, a warm smile spread on her kindly features, "Rahi. I'm so glad you came, Ying will be so happy to know you came to visit." I was unsure how she could greet me so happily, considering what she might think about me now.
I didn't waste time though, "I'm really sorry, Yun." I saw her smile fall, her real concern showing through, "I took Ying out last night to see the fireworks. I know I shouldn't have but she really wanted to see them. The walk was probably too much for her. I'm so sorry."
She gave me a small smile, reaching up and ruffling my hair with her weathered fingers, "Oh Rahi. I remember when you first met Ying when you were 5 years old. You were so smitten with her. It's been that way ever since, hasn't it?" This was an awkward question, but her old brown eyes could clearly see right through me.
I cleared my throat, "… Yeah, I guess it really has. You're not mad… at me?" She gave a small quiet laugh.
"I assume your mother is mad enough for the both of us?"
I felt myself chuckle despite myself, "Yeah, she didn't take too well to my sudden rebellion, I'm probably a hopeless case to her now."
"Oh now, now, that's not true at all, I'm sure. She's just worried. She loves you; and Ying like a daughter." She smiled big now, "Now I guess those flowers aren't for me?"
"They're for Ying." I became like a little kid around Yun, totally straightforward, I had been giving Ying flowers ever since I was 5, but I always used to deny it somehow or another.
"That's a good boy. How about you give them to her yourself?"
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
I drew back the curtain. Ying's face was small and pale, nestled comfortably in the big fluffy hospital pillow. Her favorite panda stuffed animal sat beat up but vigilant by her side. I ran my fingertips over its velvety ears. Underneath the covers I saw her hand clutching the corner of something dark blue, my jacket. I smiled lightly. Someone had twisted Ying's hair into a long black braid, like how she wore it when she was younger, but a few strands had fallen loose around her face. I tucked them back then bent down, my lips close to her ear. I could smell her hair as mine brushed against it. The smells of me and Ying, mingling together.
"Hi Ying. I hope you like what I brought you."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
My punishment meant a few things: 1) I had to be at Phillip's at 7 sharp every morning to help with various chores 2) I had to help his wife cook dinner 3) I came home and cleaned the downstairs lobby of townhall 4)I went to bed at 8 pm 5) I didn't get to see Ying. At all.
This was supposed to stay this way for one month, currently I was wrapping up week 3, three fourths of the way through. The work wasn't hard and kept me rather busy. The hardest part was not being able to see Ying. All I heard was occasional reports from my mother, "Ying was able to eat a full bowl of porridge today." "Ying took a walk around the clinic today." "Ying went back home today" "Yun has decided to ground Ying as well, she told me it was half her fault." I figured these reports from her were her way of showing she cared enough about me not to completely torture me. I was working hard to gain her trust back, but no matter how many mornings I woke up at 6 I could never fall asleep again at 8. So I would sneak out onto the roof and watch the remaining portions of the long summer sunsets as they dipped down over the horizon, framing the eastern style buildings of Konohana.
It was one of those perfect evenings. The kind that made me never want to go back in. I had turned 18 a few months ago and in a month Ying would be 18 too. We would both be free, technically, to do whatever we wanted. So what would we do? I felt like the path I was walking was so narrow, so restrictive, all I had before me was one future, one reality. It didn't feel right to try and make Ying stay a part of it.
Suddenly I heard footsteps behind, I assumed I had been discovered by my mother and tensed up in defense. But I immediately relaxed when I saw two small bare feet next to me. And I realized she was singing in a high clear voice.
"Little bird come and tell me what your song tries to say
Are you singing a message as you greet each new day?"
I flopped onto my back, looking up at Ying who stood on my roof, framed with stars, smiling down at me.
"If you keep sneaking out, it's gonna become a habit." I said cooly, her hair was in a sloppy bun at the nape of her neck and looking closely I could see a small dried carnation pinned by her ear. Her hands were stuffed in the pocket of my jacket. She pulled one out, full with a bag of panda cookies. She threw it towards me and it landed squarely on my chest. Taking her seat beside me she popped open a bag and began eating them one by one, starting with the heads.
"So far it's only been 2 times in 17 years, I think I'm safe." She smiled. She was so pale, and suddenly I felt so guilty. I sat up, looking her in the eyes.
"Ying, I'm so sorry for getting us into this, I shouldn't have let you go." She laughed, so sweet I could feel it warm my whole body.
"Don't say that when it was completely my fault. I don't regret it, not at all…" A concerned look spread on her face, "Do you?"
"I regret not protecting you like I should have." Was my immediate answer.
She sighed long and heavy, "But sometimes, that's just… not what I want. From you or anyone else. It's like I will always be cocooned, never really going anywhere, always watching you fly ahead of me." She pulled her knees to her chest.
"One day you'll be completely better, you'll go to live with your parents in the city again, and then I'll be the one left behind. Stuck here. Stuck in this town." I smiled at her.
"That's supposed to make me feel better?" She laughed a little, but I knew she meant it, "I can't possibly be happy without someone I can rely on to bring me flowers."
"You will never have trouble finding someone to bring you flowers."
"But I could never find anyone with taste as good as yours."
I smiled, glancing up at the sky that was now dark and speckled with stars. Ying laid down next to me, resting her head against my chest, I could feel it rise and fall as I breathed.
"Ying, if you fall asleep now we're dead meat, and we'll both be stuck. Forever."
"Just… five more minutes… I don't want to go back yet."
"Fine. But after five minutes you gotta get out of here." I said, poking the back of her head.
She shifted, propping herself up on her elbows, "Jeez Rahi, you are such an old man sometimes."
"One of us has to be." I grinned.
"Yeah, I guess so," She laughed, picking herself up and brushing off her knees. "Say Rahi?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you take me again next year? To see the fireworks?" She looked down with a sad smile, she thought I would say "No." I could see it.
"Yes…" She brightened up, "But only if I can borrow Phillip's cart to haul you up and down the mountain."
She kicked me lightly in the shoulder, causing my bag of panda cookies to fall by my side.
"Fine." She said, bending down and kissing me lightly on my forehead, "It's a deal."
And right then, as I watched her silhouette climb off the roof, disappear in the direction of her house, I knew that no matter where we might go we would always be stuck. Always in one constant spot. She would be by my side, and I would be by hers.
THE END