Alchemist Ninja: Naruto
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)
"Blah"-Human talk.
"Blah"-Human think/Mindscape link.
"Blah"-Inner Sakura/Hinata.
"Blah"-Demon talk.
"Blah"-Demon think.
"Blah"-Deity talk.
"Blah"-Deity think.
/Blah/ Silent Message.
Dragonman 180, It is MY fanfiction, so I can do whatever I want with it. I could make Naruto a flying monkey that has no dick, but I choose not to. Hinata was born on the exact same day as Naruto was, as was Sasuke. Naruto was just born first.
Chaosmaster189, Hebi-teme going after Sasuke has yet to be decided, but he will most likely. Or Naruto. I'll let you guys vote at the end of this chapter. And vote on the Harem or not... and the girls in said harem.
Vash3055, Read the chapter before this one to get your answer. And actually read it, please.
naruto master of the jutsu's, so, is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment. You said the ONLY reason, so that leads me to believe you think my story sucks. And, yes I would like to join the Anti-Flamers legion. Goddamn flamers.
LITTLE ALAXANDER UZUMAKI, I am glad you like the story.
Shodaime Aisukage, And what rules are the ones you spoke of? I do put humor in, but we both have a different sense of humor. Mine is... unrefined, crude, and sick. For example, I was in the car with my mom the other day, and she sad, "I think it is raccoon mating season, because I see them dead all over the roads." I replied with a, "What do raccoons mate with then, car tires." Funny, I know. I read that story too.
TerrorPain, Of course I will have people going after the stone.
Brooklyn Maxwell, Thanks.
Graity, Thanks as always. Do you mind being my beta? I really like teh ideas you give me, so I wuold like you to be my beta.
Time to start the story.
"Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata. Go to the roof of the building to meet your sensei. If he is about three hours late, don't worry, he is always like that." Iruka instructed the next day.
"So what, did they fail? Are they dropping out and need tutoring?" Some random academy student yelled out.
"No, moron, we passed. Perfectly. We get to be genin WAY before you crackers." Naruto shot back.
"Yeah, and we beat the record for youngest gennin. My brother was the youngest at seven, but we beat the prick at six." Sasuke boasted.
"Sasuke-kun, don't be so mean about it. We all know he could kick our (the class just hears a 'bleep' courtesy of Iruka's Censor no Jutsu) Asses any day. Naru-kun, Sasuke-kun, lets go to the roof." Hinata scolded Sasuke, who looked downtrodden.
"So, Iruka-sensei said this guy has a habit of being hours late. Im going to get some sleep. One hour of sleep is bad for the mind." Naruto said, before laying down. Right before going to sleep, he made a chakra web, so that if any chakra other than Hinata's or Sasuke's entered it, he would wake up immediately.
Hinata did something of the same variety, except it would parylize them, instead of waking the user.
Sasuke just laid down next to the other two.
Three Hours Later.
Naruto woke up as something entered his chakra web, and made a loud thump from being parylized. He woke Sasuke and Hinata up using a small jolt of chakra to the two, using a pattern that told them to pretend to be asleep. Hinata let her chakra web go, and the invading person slowly got up. It was the porn reading Kakashi. He slowly and cautiously walked over to the three of them, and stared at them intently.
"I wonder. What would happen if I woke them up?" Kakashi thought, but never got to reap the results of his plan.
Naruto jumped up, slamming his hands into Kakashi's cloths, causing them to turn bright pink. Naruto stuck his finger out at him and started laughing. Sasuke and Hinata cracked open their eyes, and saw what Naruto had done. They tried to hold in their laughter, but failed horribly.
"My first thought of you... I hate you." Kakashi said.
"Inu-san. I finally found out who you were." Naruto accused.
"Fuck." Kakashi thought and started sweating.
"So, you must be our Jounin-sensei. I guess you will be teaching us more of what you already have. More turning water to gas for Hinata. Creating fire from nothing for me. All kinds of shit for Naruto." Sasuke guessed.
"Yeah. I don't need to give you any of the post-academy tests. I know you can track like bitches, work in a team like hell, and fight one on one like no tomorrow." Kakashi commented.
"Like hell we can." Naruto slipped out.
"Let's just go and get a mission or three hundred." Sasuke commented.
"Or more." Naruto added.
"Yeah. We'll just make about three hundred Shadow Clones each, and and Naru-kun will make an extra hundred. The extra hundred will Henge into you, Kakashi-sensei. We'll get 301 missions from the Hokage, and assign the shadow clone teams to do three hundred of the missions, while we do one of the missions." Hinata finished.
"Sure. We will be breaking more than one record today." Kakashi said.
"Alright! Let's go!" Naruto yelled.
The quad walked off towards the Hokage Tower. As they walked by a fruit stand, someone threw an apple at Naruto. Before it got an inch away from the villager's hand, four kunai intercepted it. One from each of the team members. The villager started sweating, and ran away.
"Dumbass." Hinata spat.
"Mother fucking donkey dick." Sasuke insulted the villager, making the others wonder what he was smoking.
"So, Sasuke, what are YOU smoking?" Naruto voiced his question.
"Nothing..." Sasuke slowly said, putting something inside his jacket.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"What is with the silence?" Sasuke asked.
"..."
"..."
"...Otouto, I didn't know you were a crack-head." Naruto finally said.
"Not crack, pot." Sasuke said, triumphantly.
Naruto, Hinata, and Kakashi just facefaulted. "You have got to be kidding me, right, Sasuke." All three of them said.
"Yeah. I don't like drugs. I do have this strange feeling that Mizuki will try to betray Konoha in six years, though." Sasuke predicted the future.
"Sure he will, Sasuke. Whatever you say." Kakashi drew it out.
"I'm not crazy damnit! I was just making some shit up." Sasuke retorted.
"We're here." Naruto interrupted them. The three of them looked up at the building, and smirked. Three hundred one missions. Of course d-ranked, but still. That is 200 ryo for every mission. 62000 ryo for each of them.
"So, sensei, did you quit ANBU just to train us?" Hinata asked.
"Hell no. I am still an ANBU captain. We will be rapidly progressing you to ANBU status. Kami, you thought I quit ANBU? What are you on?" Kakashi asked.
"Naru-kun." Hinata replied.
Naruto's face just turned beet red, wondering if Hinata thought about the question and her answer. She was on him. Wow.
"Nice one, Hinata. Go and be perverted in the public." Sasuke teased as they walked past the receptionist.
"Oi, Jiji, we need 301 d-ranked missions. We will have them completed in an hour." Naruto yelled as they walked into the office.
"Impossible. There is no way you can complete 301 missions in an hour. The record for an hour is 23, with your father's gennin team." Sarutobi shot their dreams down, or so he thought. Team Seven, minus Kakashi, just held their hands up in a cross formation. Sarutobi's eyes widened.
"Naruto. Did you teach them Kage Bunshin?" Sarutobi demanded.
"Hell no. They learned it on their own. You would think that..." Naruto projected a Silencing Jutsu, creating a silver sheen on the walls, "...The Hokage would know about their tailed beasts. Hinata and Sasuke have the Kyuubi and Juubi sealed in them respectively." Naruto informed the Hokage.
"Well then what about you?" Sarutobi asked.
"I got the Irebunbi sealed in me. By the way, Kyuubi is a female, and proud of it. Don't be reading those books near Hinata, Sasuke, or me. We can let her out for a short amount of time. Or, I could just alchemize the book into dust like this." Naruto replied. He popped his hands together, and touched the orange book. It turned to dust, and Sarutobi started crying anime tears.
"DAMN YOU EDWARD ELRIC!!!!!" He shouted at the silver lining on the walls. "Damn you. Take the missions and leave me." Sarutobi said, calling his secretary to give them all 301 of the days missions.
The quad walked outside, and used the trio of six year old's hands to make one giant handsign. They shouted out, "Compound Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu" There became three hundred clones of each of them. Naruto simply placed his hands into a cross seal, and whispered into the wind, "Shadow Clone." One hundred Naruto appeared, and instantle Henged into one hundred Kakashi while the smoke remained.
"Group up into teams. One of each of you to a team. Three hundred teams. Start." Naruto yelled at them.
"Hai!" They yelled back, before starting this task. Five minutes later, they were all grouped together into the teams, and started walking foreward to accept their missions.
"Go out, and if any of the missions are of the repairing variety, use alchemy." Hinata shouted out to them.
"Ma'am!" They shouted back.
The first team of clones had to fix a house. They gathered all of the supplies needed, which were: wood, bricks, and a shit load of dirt. They walked over to the house, and emptied all of the supplies into the middle of the floor. All four of them clapped their hands together at the same time, and hit them into the floor. The supplies started changing shape and composition. They raced up the walls to create the roof. The crawled over to spots where walls and floor was missing, and filled the places in.
"Mission one, complete." The Naruto clone stated, and they ran to the Hokage's office.
"Hey, Jiji, we finished the first mission. Don't give us the pay. Give it to the bosses when they come here later." The Sasuke clone said, before they all pulled out their kunai, and stabbed themselves in the stomach. They poofed out of existance.
"They might actually make it. Five minutes after, and they already have one done." Sarutobi thought.
With the real Team Seven, they were chasing a cat with a red ribbon on it's right ear.
"Pheonix, Raven, Fox, state your positions." Kakashi barked over the radio.
"Pheonix, checkpoint C out of C." Naruto replied.
"Raven, checkpoint C out of C." Sasuke agreed.
"Fox, checkpoint C out of C, also." Hinata finished.
"Good. I, Dog, will be joining you in a few moments. Right... Now." Kakashi said, before landing in their presence. Starting to use Silent Message (SM) he said, /Catch the target without harming it./
/Hai./ The other three said.
They darted off towards the demon cat, and dropped into its presence out of nowhere. Naruto slapped his hands into the ground, and made a cage of pure carbon around the cat.
"Target captured. Red ribbon on right ear, check. Target is Tora the Cat." Naruto confirmed over the radio.
"Good. Let's go and return to the Hokage. How many of the missions have been completed?" Kakashi replied.
"This is the last one to be completed." Hinata replied.
"Yeah, this always the longest mission when I was a gennin." Kakashi spoke without thinking.
"Sensei, the cat is part demon. There is no way on the Natural Earth that a cat can live over twenty years." Naruto said.
"You are probably right, but we must confirm that with the Hokage." Kakashi replied.
Five minutes later with the Hokage and the Daimyo's Wife
"Jiji, that cat is part demon." Naruto said as soon as they entered the doors.
"What makes you think that, Naru-kun?" Sarutobi asked nervously.
"The cat has been used for a d-ranked mission for about fifty years. I did research with Shadow Clones. I had them go to the library. There was a journal, and it was from fourty eight years ago. It said, word for word, 'I had to chase that damn cat again. Tora. Red ribbon from hell on its right ear. Well, got to go,' The cat has been alive for over fourty eight years. It IS part demon." Naruto explained.
"You are exactly right. It was fifty five years ago, when I was still a child. The Nibi-no-Nekotama snuck into the Daimyo's house and got pregnant with the Daimyo's cat. It stayed there until it gave birth, and then ran away. The Nidaime and the Daimyo of the time knew the cat would be immortal to a point, and so, they used it as a Mission. This information will never leave this room." Sarutobi explained.
"If you ever say anything, even if you ARE the Irebunbi's contaner, I will gut you." Tora said in a demonic voice, and then went back to grooming itself.
"You know what I say, Tora?" Naruto asked it.
"Meow." It said back.
"..." Naruto stayed silent for a minute.
"Mortal, what do you want to say?" Tora asked.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... MELON!!!" Naruto randomly screamed out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of everyone. Almost literally.
"Meow?" Tora tilted her head quizically.
"Melon. Good. Watermelon. Watermelon flavored ramen. YUM!" Naruto yelled.
"Let's go. Now." Sasuke and Hinata dragged Naruto off after collecting the payment for all of the missions.
"Hey, you three, Four AM at the normal training spot!" Kakashi yelled after them.
"Alright!" Sasuke yelled back.
When Naruto and Sasuke got back to the Complex, they saw smoke coming from the middle of the Uchiha District.
"NO!" They both yelled, before sprinting into the district.
HAHA! Hanger. Hate me? Whatever.
On to the polls.
1) Should there be a Harem, or just NaruHina?
A) Yes
B)No
2) If yes to question above, who should be in the Harem. (Will take three more than Hinata, adding up to Four)
A) Yuugito Nii
B) Fem!Haku
C) Sasame Fuuma
D) Sakura
E) Hana Inuzuka
Vote by pressing the little bluish button at the bottom left of your Internet Browser, type up a review with the answers to the polls, and click submit. OR ELSE!!!!!