Alchemist Ninja: Naruto
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)
"Blah"-Human talk.
"Blah"-Human think/Mindscape link.
"Blah"-Inner Sakura/Hinata.
"Blah"-Demon talk.
"Blah"-Demon think.
"Blah"-Deity talk.
"Blah"-Deity think.
I am officially freaked out. My ex-girlfriend was a transsexual. How the hell did I not figure that out BEFORE now? I want to die now. Or throw myself into taekwondo, aikido, kung-fu drunken monkey style, and Tang Soo Do. Which is more painful... The martial arts is more painful, and that is the route I will take.
chaosmaster, I might, I might not.
Narutofreak, Get over it. That is my style.
Graity, What was with the three dots?
Brooklyn, Kishimoto will be mysteriously assassinated within the next three months and an American will take over Naruto.
"Aww, fuck." Naruto summed the trios thoughts up.
"Zabuza-sensei? Why the hell are you asking us for help?" Hinata asked more politely.
"Well, I really just wanted to see you three brats. The 'official' reason that I am here is because I need to be escorted to Nami no Kuni to take a job for money to kill off the Mizukage, so I am going to 'take a job' from the lowest of the low, Gatou. Filthy scum-bucket's company is just a ruse for his real intents; slavery, drug dealing, and 'Male Amusement' which is using women as sex toys. In reality, we are going to take out the bastard and split the money between us. Muahahaha." Zabuza finished with a maniacle laugh.
"Right. And, Zabuza, how in the hell are you going to classify this as a C-Ranked mission?" Naruto asked.
"Im not." He fired back.
Naruto just facefaulted, and Kakashi started wondering if they even remembered he was there.
Naruto, sensing Kakashi's thoughts, just said, "Yeah, we know you are there. Don't worry, Inu-sensei."
"So, this is the great 'Sharingan-no-Kakashi'?" Zabuza asked, "What a joke. I could kick his ass to Kuni and back if I wanted to."
"Hmm. Did you say something?" Kakashi used his 'Anti-Gai' voice.
Zabuza simply started crying, making Sasuke laugh his ass off.
"Wow. Someone actually got the log out of Sasuke's ass. It is a fucking miracle. Which one of you did it?" Zabuza asked between tears.
"He was just a prick because he didn't like zanjutsu training. He prefers shorter swords, like his own." Naruto gave the sentence a double meaning.
"Naruto, you shit-muffin, don't even start with the jealousy of my 'Little Sasuke', ok?" Sasuke said lightly.
All was silent, until Naruto busted a gut, "Your 'Little Sasuke?' I would never be jealous of something smaller than mine. I can't even imagine insulting my 'Naruto Jr.', not a 'Little Naruto.' I can't believe it. What a jo-" Naruto got out before being kicked in the stomach by Zabuza.
"Annoying brat. Let's get going for the mission." Zabuza said.
"Rea-ready." Naruto wheezed from his human shaped hole in the wall.
"Set." Sasuke muttered.
"Let's go, then!" Hinata squealed.
"How are you three already ready?" Zabuza dug into their 'Readiness'.
"Storage seals, preservation seals, and multiplication seals on our clothes. No problem for a seal-master like Naruto," Sasuke responded.
"I even have a bag of potatoe chips with those seals at the bottom of it." Naruto claimed.
"So you have a bag of emo chips? That isn't healthy, I suppose," Sarutobi joked. (Potatoe is the Japanese translation for Emo)
"I meant potato chips, sorry." Naruto corrected himself.
"I still think that you should make one of those bags for Chouji. Just my personal opinion." Sarutobi said.
"Nope. Then I would have to make one for each flavor. Too damn much work." Naruto replied.
"Let's just go. I am getting tired of standing here doing nothing. C'mon!" Kakashi ordered them.
"Alright, see you, Jiji. Zabuza, trace our shunshin, and follow the chakra path using your own shunshin, ok?" Naruto asked the rhetorical question.
"Alright. Move it." He replied.
Naruto just smirked at Zabuza, and the four of them shunshin'ed away without handsigns. Zabuza applied enough of his own chakra to his body to shunshin, and jumped in their chakra trace. Nigh instantly, they were at the first checkpoint; fifteen miles outside of Konoha.
"Zabuza, hide your chakra. If possible, shrink it to about that of a rabbit. We don't want the Karyuudo to find us. Bastards have no sense of proper timing to show up. Damnit." Sasuke instructed Zabuza.
"The who?" he asked while doing as told.
"The Karyuudo. They are a group of 9 that Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, and I control. They just have the worst timing to ask for instruction on the face of the planet. Damn. They noticed us." Kakashi replied.
"Oi, Inu-san, what do you want us to do now?" Ryoushi , the in-group leader of the Karyuudo asked.
"We need you to continue monitering that Inmetsu character. Give us a scroll of his activities now, and once a month. Send them to the Hokage with this seal on it." Kakashi gave the orders to the Karyuudo.
"Hai. We will be back in one year." Ryoushi answered.
"Sayonara Ryoushi." Naruto said with a smirk.
"Finally we are rid of them for an extended period of time!" Hinata yelled as soon as they were out of hearing range.
"So, Zabuza, where is Haku?" Naruto asked.
"She is back in wave waiting for us. She didn't have an extreme conviction to 'connect' with you three again at the moment." Zabuza answered.
"Aww, Haku-chan doesn't want to see her future husband and wife?" Hinata asked with a pseudo-innocent voice. In reality, she was thinking, "What the hell? I thought she loved us damnit. What is her problem?"
"Don't worry, Hinata, she is just resting for sparring, as we know Sasuke-baka-no-cho(Sasuke the Retard/Butterfly) will undoubtedly challenge her to." Zabuza quickly said for Haku's defense.
"Meh, I still don't like you calling me that, Zabuza-unchisesshoku (Zabuza shit feed/shit eater). You need to stop calling me that, you son of a bitch." Sasuke responded, flipping him the bird.
"Little..." Zabuza got out before having a senbon intersect his neck, knocking him out.
"Glad Haku-chan tought me how to use senbon..." Hinata muttered darkly.
Naruto just sighed, released two levels of his gravity-resistance seals, and slung Zabuza over his shoulder. They started walking towards the ocean, and finally saw Gatou's ship. Naruto flicked Zabuza in the forehead to wake him up(This really does work. It is a pressure point, so it doesn't work on me. You can ask Brisingar, who is my best friend in R/L) making Zabuza punch him in the stomach.
"What the hell is your jacket made out of?" Zabuza winced.
"Well, it was just cloth until you hit it, which activated an alchemy circle, causing it to turn into titanium. Sorry for the mild dis-comfort in your knuckles." Naruto brushed his 'light tap' off.
Haku jumped into the scene, and pulled Naruto into a deep kiss. Hinata finally got impatient, and joined in forcefully.
"Mph, I neeth thome airths!" Naruto tried to say, but the two females got the point.
"Sorry." Haku apoligized.
"Well I'm not. It felt good!" Hinata exclaimed.
"Let's just get our goal of Gatou's money, kill him, and sink the ship." Zabuza reminded them.
"Alright!" Naruto shouted, before dashing off towards the flagship.
Shortest chapter EVER! I know it sucks, sorry. School needs to die a very uncomfortable death. Ja ne, Namikaze Minato.