Two days. Two days since Batou had vanished, cut off between one word and next. It was ironic, really. No one could hide from the Major. Firewalls, disguises, labyrinths...all were useless once she decided to ferret someone out. Yet Batou had gone to the one place where she couldn't find him.
Paz hadn't surprised her. She knew, she'd always known. And yet Batou had still abandoned her. No, that wasn't fair. She had to be angry at someone. Not Batou, it wasn't his fault if his luck had failed him.
She opened the door to her apartment. It breathed emptiness at her, as it always did. But for once the silence wasn't welcoming. It yawned at her, lost and alone. She hesitated a moment, her hand trembling on the door. Then she sighed and went in. It wasn't as if she had anywhere else to go.
Two impossibly long days. She hadn't slept at all since the explosion. She had to, tonight. Shut herself down if she couldn't fall asleep. Because Batou wasn't the only one; she was responsible for her men, all of them. They needed her. Tomorrow morning they'd all be back at work, doing what Section 9 did best. And she'd be their leader, big sister, whatever she was to them.
But tomorrow morning seemed very far away. All the hours of the night stretched before her, stirring the dust in the corners of her apartment, flashing brief reflections in the windows. A shower was in order, then bed.
The cascade of warm water felt heavenly on her tense muscles. She tilted her head back and let it flow over her face. Her jaw felt tight; she opened her mouth, only then realizing she'd been gritting her teeth. For how long?
The tears were a shock. They burst from her as suddenly as lava from a volcano, forced upward for ages before the explosion of fire. Her eyes burned, and an instant later a sob tore itself loose from her chest. She clapped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. Her entire body shook with weeping, until she gasped for air between sobs, until her chest ached and her throat felt raw. She hadn't cried in a very long time. It surprised her, to find she remembered how. When it was over she stood in the spray, hugging herself, shivering even though the water was still hot.