"Ahem? Your Highness?" A coughing noise to my right startled me out of my daydream, and I looked over to see my head royal adviser, Lord Bartleby, staring at me with a look I'd come to know very well – the look of someone who's displeased but knows they can't say anything about it because of royal protocol. As much as I sometimes hated the way people treated me as Queen, there were definitely times when it came in handy – like when I started spacing out during boring meetings, for example.

I sat up straighter and tried to look like I had been paying attention all along. "Yes?"

He smiled tightly at me. "I think you'll agree with me when I say that it's been a long day, and perhaps we should adjourn court."

"Sounds good to me." The handful of other advisers and nobles all bid me farewell as they headed for the door, but Bartleby stayed put in his chair at my right. "Did you have something you wanted to speak with me about privately?" I asked, staring at him pointedly.

He looked down. "The other courtiers and I are… concerned, My Queen, about the situation of an heir." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from sighing, now that I knew where this was going. "Please forgive me for this, but especially with Sparx's situation being so tenuous, that you remain unmarried is troublesome. I know that you are young, but you have a responsibility to your kingdom to ensure that the line of succession continues." His cheeks were turning red as he said all this, like he was at war with himself over whether he should say it at all.

Out of force of habit, I glanced down at my left ring finger, where a certain topaz ring was conspicuously absent. "I… will keep that in mind, Lord Bartleby." Feeling anxious, I pushed back my high-backed chair and got to my feet. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a prior appointment to attend to."

"Of course, My Queen." He bowed low before hurrying out the door, looking very flustered.

Lord Bartleby was far from the first person to feel the need to remind me of my 'queenly duty' to marry and produce an heir, and heavens knows he wouldn't be the last. Princes and noblemen came from all over the realms, seeking to win my hand and the much-coveted title of King of Sparx; each and every one was rebuffed, of course, but more just kept coming.

I hated this with a burning passion – hated the lying and the secrecy and the being forced to entertain titled pompous assholes who just wanted a throne and didn't actually care about me. And I hated the growing anxieties among my people over my unmarried and child-free status. Sparx was so new and fraught with troubles as is, it shouldn't have more unncessarily added like this. More than anything, I wanted to destroy the façade; to be free to tell the world that I was married, to the most wonderful man in the universe.

But of course, I couldn't do that.

Sighing, I pulled my ring out from an unseen pocket in the formal blue dress I wore in court (which I also hated with a burning passion, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about that) and slid it into my finger. The familiar weight was soothing, but it wasn't enough to pacify me completely as I ruminated on how, exactly, I had wound up in this peculiar and maddening situation.

Because you fell for an escaped convict, a little voice in the back of my head said. Wonderful taste you got there, girl.

No matter how much I tried not to think about it like that, it was true that Baltor was the reason I was in this predicament. If he had been any other man, I would've been free to have a grand wedding worthy of the Queen of Sparx, free to wear my ring in court; to have him sit on the throne with me and openly live in the palace, instead of skulking around like a ghost, using illusion spells and invisibility charms to keep anyone from knowing the truth about him. There would be no lying, no secrecy, and no fears over the line of succession.

But he was undeniably, completely worth it. So for now, I was willing to live with this twisted reality, if it meant that at night I could be with the man I loved.

Still, I thought, resting my ringed hand on my stomach, where I imagined the fabric of the gown was starting to strain slightly, this can't go on forever. Sooner or later, something's got to change.

Maybe sooner than later.

The royal suite looked unoccupied when I finished my shower, but the tingle on the back of my neck told me otherwise. That is so Baltor, I laughed inwardly. Amused, I decided to play along, taking slow steps towards the bed and looking around the room with eyes wide. "What's this? I guess I'm all alone in this big empty room… with this big empty bed…" I made my voice go sultry and suggestive, the way I knew he couldn't resist. "Whatever will I do?"

The air shimmered and he became visible, lounging almost cat-like on the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of loose-fitting white cotton pants, looking dangerous and inviting and like he belonged there. I saw his eyes darken as he took in what I was wearing – a barely-there pale blue slip made of a silk so fine and delicate it was almost see-through – and his lips curled into a smirk that sent shivers down my spine. Yes, tonight was definitely going to be a good night.

"You're later than I'd expected you," he said as I climbed onto the bed and made myself comfortable, my legs straddling his torso. A low growl escaped his throat as I settled in, and he pulled my head down to his for a searing kiss, my still-wet curls falling in both of our faces like a curtain. "Mmm… Did you eat?"

"Not really…" I inhaled sharply as his tongue traced my collarbone, left fully exposed by the low neckline of my nightgown, and tried to fight the overwhelming surge of desire that raced through me. I had something important to tell him… didn't I? It was hard to remember now with him nibbling on my neck.

"You should eat, then," he murmured in my ear, sitting upright and sliding me off of him in one fluid movement. He nudged my elbow, and I turned to find a plate of cheese, fruit, and bread sitting on the side table near the bed, along with a bottle of champagne and two crystal flutes. "Thank me later…" My eyes slid closed as goosebumps erupted on my skin at the low, suggestive tone of his voice.

The sight of the champagne made me wince, and reminded me what I'd been so anxious to tell him about earlier. But I guess it couldn't hurt to eat something first… "You are incredible," I said, kissing him full on the lips.

He yielded to the kiss for a moment, then pushed me off and said in a fakely menacing tone of voice, "Don't make me feed you."

I pouted suggestively. "Won't you?"

"Minx," he muttered under his breath, smiling despite himself as he reached over and plucked a cluster of grapes off the plate.

I let him feed me for a while, still barely spending a second not touching him in some way. The electric energy that seemed to draw us together had not faded in the slightest with time; if anything, I thought, it had almost intensified. Yes, Baltor is most definitely worth all the lying and secrecy.

But there were some things even the most artful of deceptions couldn't mask.

I bit my lip as he popped the champagne, deftly handling two glasses at once. "For my gorgeous wife," he said, handing me a glass. Hesitating, I watched the tiny bubbles rise to the surface, then set the glass down on the side table.

"I… kind of have something to tell you," I said, watching his face turn serious as he set his champagne down as well. "It's not bad – in fact, it should be wonderful – but it would also mean a lot of changes, and I'm just not sure how you're going to react."

"What is it, my love?" He reached for my hand and started tracing tiny circles on it soothingly. "You know you can tell me anything."

I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I… I'm pregnant."

His hand froze on top of mine. When I chanced a glance at his eyes, they were unreadable. Assuming the worst, my heart dropped to my feet.

I know we never really talked about this, but we weren't exactly careful either… he must've known this was a possibility… and I have that responsibility to my people… I can't believe this. Now what am I going to do?

I was so lost in my thoughts, I barely heard him when he finally responded. "…how far?"

"What?"

Before I could take another breath I was in his arms, and he was kissing me like I held the last oxygen left in the world. I was too surprised to do anything but instinctively kiss him back, and was breathless when he finally pulled back. "How far along are you?"

"Um, maybe two months?"

"I didn't think it was possible," he mused to himself, in a voice so low I barely caught it. His hands reached out towards my stomach (which I imagined looked bigger already, even though I knew most women didn't start showing at this point) with what could only be described as a look of wonderment on his face. "This is… amazing."

"You really mean that?" I don't know why a part of me felt like I had to keep questioning it.

"I most certainly do." He stared back at me with such unadulturated love in those gold eyes that it actually took my breath away. "You're going to make a fantastic mother, Bloom." When he kissed me again, I felt it in every cell of my body.

"You know what this means, then," I teased, trying to lighten the mood. "You have to let me go to the Magix Council now."

The spell was broken, thankfully (the intensity of it was starting to make me uncomfortable), and he groaned, leaning back against the pillows. "Come on!" I insisted, laying my head against his chest. "We can't exactly lie our way out of this one. It's time to tell the truth."

We'd been arguing about this for months; I wanted to go to the Magix Council and fight to get his criminal charges overturned, so he could stop living in the shadows. He was adamant in his refusal: it was just a waste of time, could only end badly, and anyway, what was so wrong with the way things were now? But a baby on the way changed everything. If this little person in my stomach was going to be the heir of Sparx, I couldn't exactly keep going on like I was enjoying being young and single.

I said as much, trying in vain to convince him. "You put too much faith in them," Baltor insisted, twisting his fingers absentmindedly in my hair. "There's no way they're actually going to acquit me. I might as well just walk into that room in handcuffs and agree to go back to Omega."

His words pierced my heart like knives, and for a second I dared to think that he might be right. "No. I won't let that happen. I've got some pull in there, don't I?" A plan was starting to take shape in my head, vague notions of ideas stringing themselves together into something clear and coherent. "I saved the magical dimension three times – while I was in freaking high school! – and I broke the Ancestresses' curse on Sparx, singlehandedly as far as they know. So there's my word, which should be good for a lot; I'll even submit to blood tests or whatever they want to prove I'm not under a spell. And just the fact that you're alive and haven't been conquering realms and stealing spells in the past few years is something, right?" I felt flushed and almost dizzy with exertion, like I was running instead of just thinking at the speed of light. "Plus I've got all that sympathy from being the last survivor of Sparx. I could even play the hormonal pregnant woman card, see if that gets me anywhere…"

I heard a noise like a laugh, and looked over to see him shaking like he was trying to contain his laughter. A spark of indignation flared to life in my chest. "Why are you laughing at me?"

It took him a moment to compose himself long enough to speak. His eyes were shining with laughter and love. "I'd almost completely forgotten what a force to be reckoned with you are when you've got something in your head, love," he said, pulling me against him and placing a kiss on my forehead. "I don't think anyone in their right mind could stand a chance against you all worked up."

I smiled despite myself. "So does that mean you'll let me do it?"

"I think at this point even if I said no, you'll just do it anyway." I opened my mouth to protest, but then he was kissing me again, and all other thoughts completely left my head.

"Besides," he added, his mouth curling into a smirk, "if it doesn't go well I can always just wipe their memories."

"Baltor!" I raised my arm to whack him on the shoulder, but he caught it right before it would've made contact. His gold eyes gleamed wickedly.

"I like it when you play rough."

His words sent tingles through my entire body, and a rush of heat pooled in my core. "I love you," I whispered, as he leaned in to kiss me again, fingers reaching for the hem of my tiny nightgown.

"I love you too," he answered; the last thing I heard before I was lost in an ecstasy of paradise only he could give me.

Vanessa always used to tell me that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is. I never really knew what exactly she meant, and at the time, didn't really think enough of it to care.

Now I did.

There was no warning whatsoever; I just woke up one night with a terrible stabbing pain in my stomach. My legs and the sheets were slick with blood.

I screamed until my throat was raw.

"You're supposed to be a doctor. You're supposed to be the best. I trusted that my wife was in good hands with you. And now you're telling me that you don't know why this happened? What kind of a goddamn doctor are you?" Baltor was terrifyingly furious, his gold eyes burning with rage in a way that was eerily remniscent of who he used to be. No wonder the royal physician looked like he wanted to crawl under his desk and hide.

In Dr. Winters' defense, he had been handling the fact that his beloved queen was married to and pregnant by a convicted felon very well up until now. As much as I knew Baltor had to scare him, he was utterly professional whenever I'd come in for a prenatal checkup, and hadn't gone blabbing our secrets to the press or anything.

I couldn't imagine finding a better doctor, and so I felt bad for the poor guy – as much as I could feel anything, anymore. I felt frozen in time and place, like someone had scooped out my insides and left me a hollow shell of a person. While Baltor scared the crap out of Dr. Winters, I was just curled up in a ball on the exam table, too numb to even speak; like I was experiencing the world through a hazy cloud of pain and loss.

Dr. Winters lifted his jaw slightly, trying to appear confident, though his hands shook as he spoke. "If this were an ordinary human pregnancy, there would be no possible explanation except an unhappy chance. It was a perfectly healthy baby, growing in a perfectly normal way, with no signs of anything wrong. What I believe was the problem, then, is pure speculation, because this has never happened before. The tests have reaffirmed my hypothesis, but I have no other real proof that this is what happened; that this is even possible."

"So this is some crackpot theory then? I don't want you wasting our time when my wife is traumatized enough already. If you don't know why this happened, then I'm going to find someone who does."

"Let him talk," I said in a dull, lifeless voice that I barely recognized as my own. "Dr. Winters is the best in his field. If he thinks he knows what happened, I want to hear what he has to say."

Baltor hesitated, then nodded and stepped back, coming over to sit by my side and squeezing my hand tightly. "As my wife wishes."

Dr. Winters shot me a grateful smile, but my brief moment of lucidity was gone as quickly as it had come on, and all I could do was stare blankly into space as he started to talk. "Comprehensive studies have shown that magic is inherited like a genetic trait. Most fairies or witches notice their own magic going haywire while pregnant, because it is in fact their child's magic asserting itself. This usually happens after the third month, once the most critical development has taken place."

"…And?" Baltor snapped impatiently.

"Dark magic… ahem…" Dr. Winters took a deep breath, nervously fiddling with the collar of his shirt. "High quantities of dark magic in the bloodstream of a light magic user can be fatal. As such, a fairy's body is designed to attack dark magic like a virus."

"…And?"

An icy feeling crept into my veins, tightening my chest. I had an eerie feeling that I knew where this was going.

"The magic gene is dominant in females. A female child born to a fairy will always be a fairy, and a female child born to a witch will always be a witch; they will get their power from their mother's side. If the father practices magic, only then might a male child get magic, and it will come from his father. But as both of you draw power from the Dragon Fire, any child born of your union would as well, regardless of its gender." He swallowed hard, beads of sweat starting to appear on his brow. "You must understand, this has never happened before. In the case of cross-alliance marriages, it has always been a witch and a hero, wizard, or paladin. The woman is always the one who practices dark magic. For a fairy to have a child by a dark wizard…"

"Her body reacted negatively to the part of the fetus's powers that are dark magic," Baltor cut in, in a serious voice I'd never heard before. "To the part that came from me."

Dr. Winters nodded, looking too scared to speak. "Of course, I might be wrong, but–"

"Thank you, Dr. Winters," I heard myself say, speaking as if from somewhere outside of my own body. Every single emotion was locked behind an impenetrable steel wall, until all I felt was cold and tired. "You've been a godsend. If you don't mind, I think I'd like to take a nap now."

Both men just stared as I mechanically lifted myself up and got to my feet, walking towards the door taking slow, plodding steps; but neither made a move to go after me.

I was staring at myself in the mirror, hair wet from a long, cleansing bath dripping down the back of my fluffy white robe, when a small package materialized in my hands. The second I got a look at the rows of little white pills, marked off for days of the week, I dropped it like a red-hot iron.

"You can't be serious," I said to Baltor's reflection in the mirror, refusing to turn around and stare him directly in the eyes.

"I am deadly serious." His voice was steady and even, a far cry from the barely contained fury of earlier. "I did some research; those ones are supposed to be the best. They've got special magic in them, so they're infallible as long as you–"

Something inside of me snapped, and the dam collapsed, emotion rushing like a waterfall. "How could you be so heartless? I just lost our child. Our child, and now you're practically shoving birth control pills down my throat?"

"You heard what Dr. Winters said!" he roared. "The same thing would happen to any child we tried to have together. Forgive me if I think measures should be taken to keep this from happening again."

Even though I knew that his reasoning was perfectly sound and logical, born out of only good intentions, I had all this pent-up rage at something beyond my physical control, and no one to direct it at. So he became my unlucky target. "Don't you want children?" My voice cracked slightly, and unbidden, tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to force them back.

Noticing my tears, his tone softened. "Of course I do. But more than anything, I want you to be safe and happy. I don't know if you know just how much you scared me, Bloom. You were screaming in pain, the bed full of blood; and then you just retreated into your own mind, like living with a ghost. And I just don't want to make you have to go through that again."

Hot tears stung my eyes, blurring my vision slightly. I squinted and stared down at the package of pills in my hand, trying to resign myself to this. "If I don't take them, then what? You just won't touch me?"

"If that's what I have to do." He closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "But I don't believe it will come to that. I truly believe that you will see sense and take them. I just don't understand why you're being so stubborn."

I inhaled deeply, chest shuddering slightly on the exhale. "What about the line of succession?" I tried, searching in vain to find more reasons to delay the inevitable.

"We have time to worry about that. You're still young; that won't be a problem for a long time now." His eyes seemed to bore into me even through their reflection in the mirror. "I'm going to bed. Don't take too long, my love." Leaning in close, he brushed a kiss to my cheek and then turned and left the bathroom.

The feeling of his lips on my skin lingered. My throat felt tight as I turned the package over in my hands.

Who does the bastard think he is, ordering me around like that?

Do you want another miscarriage?

It should be my choice to do this, not his.

He only has your well-being in mind.

But the way he presented it certainly left something to be desired!

You know he's right.

I sighed, the decision made. Carefully, I ripped the foil covering off one pill and stuck it on my tongue, swallowing it down with a gulp of water from the sink. The tiny capsule felt like a lead weight going down my throat, settling in my stomach like an anchor, something heavy and dead and unwanted.

Baltor's eyes flickered briefly in surprise as I came out of my dressing room, but he wisely didn't comment on my current choice of attire – baggy plaid drawstring pants and an old faded gray T-shirt that I think once belonged to Mike. It was the kind of thing a fifteen-year-old girl might've worn to sleep in, not a married woman with a husband who couldn't keep his hands off her. Indeed, I'd amassed quite a collection of silky, lacy slips and lingerie over the years, but after the day's events, I no longer felt like wearing any of them. Sex was the last thing on my mind, especially after the confrontation in the bathroom, and right now I just wanted to be comfortable.

"Did you take them?" he asked as I climbed into bed and buried myself under the covers. I just nodded, curling myself into a ball on what was technically 'my' side of the bed (the notion of calling sides was ridiculous, since normally we ended up sleeping in each other's arms, limbs entangled so it was impossible to tell where he ended and I began).

I felt his arms wrap around me from behind like always, and I fought against the urge to yank myself free. We had our arguments at times, but we always got over it; there was no reason to think that this wouldn't be the same way, given time. A whole lot of time…

"You'll thank me in the long run, I promise," he said against my neck, sweeping off the hair there to plant a tender kiss. I just bit my tongue and said nothing.

"I love you," he added, pulling me closer against him.

"I know."

(It would be the only time I never said it back.)

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said I'll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

Just close your eyes

You'll be alright

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Author's Note: ...yeah.

First of all, to give credit where credit is due, I borrowed yet another idea from waterbendergirl101 in this chapter: the thing about dark magic being fatal to a fairy in high enough concentrated doses. (I think the story that's from has since been taken down, but I'm not sure.) All that other stuff about magic and genetics was my own invention - how'd I do, by the way? Does it make sense?

So... yes. The miscarriage. Readers of my 2nd-gen trilogy, you might recall I made a very, very tiny reference to this in chapter 3 of What's Left of Me. Yes, I have known this was coming for a long time - almost since I made up my mind to write this story. Since it's a prequel to my 2nd-gen trilogy, though, you know this isn't really permanent. They will have a baby (a girl named Alyssa, who IMHO is very awesome), the how of which we will find out in the next two chapters. ;-)

And before I get reviews flooded with hate mail, let me address something: Baltor's behavior in this chapter, particularly there at the end. Don't get me wrong - he is being kind of a jackass. And that's a little bit the point. His character is so amazingly complex, that I really do think this is how he would react to something like this. This is a really really awful situation that he can do very little about, and it's taking a huge emotional toll on him, even if he might not seem too affected. All he wants to do is protect her, but because of who and what he is, it doesn't exactly come across in the right way. He has only good intentions (which I think she acknowledges, even), but his actions leave a little something to be desired. Don't worry, though - he will come around.

Final point of the night: when I was rewriting What Comes Next, the first book in my trilogy, I realized that I never addressed how exactly Baltor got to be a free man. Thus, the idea about going to the Magix Council was born. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to write it. So keep your eye out for a story about that, cowritten by the amazing emberfire411 (who actually has some experience with law) after we finish Leap of Faith. :-)

XOXO,

- Authoress