"Captain's log, supplemental," Jim said into his communicator as he rounded the corner, heading down to Engineering. He spotted an attractive looking blonde working on some part of the internal workings of the ship. He didn't have a clue what she was doing, after all, he wasn't an engineer. She was wearing a red shirt, and she raised an eyebrow as he walked over to her.
"Proceeding with the next step of Operation GISP now," Jim whispered, shutting off the communicator and shoving it into his pocket.
Five minutes later, a satisfied-looking captain walked onto the bridge, with said blonde beside him, with an arm around her shoulder and a smile on her face.
"Who's that, Jim?" said Bones warily, who had just been talking to Uhura.
"This is Deborah," Jim answered with a smile.
"Barbara," the girl corrected, her smile growing a little strained.
"Sure, sure, whatever. Anyway, I just met her- what, five minutes ago, sweetheart?"
"Uh-huh," the blonde replied.
"And she's already fallen for me hard, Dr. McCoy," Jim sighed romantically, winking at the girl.
Bones could see Barbara trying her hardest not to roll her eyes.
"And you know why that is, Leonard?"
Irritated, the doctor replied, "You haven't called me that in yea-"
"Because I'm so undeniably attractive," Jim cut off his medical officer, beaming. "In fact, I'm so very attractive that... well, this is all a ruse!" He raised his arm from around the girl's shoulders. "Surprise! Barbie here actually can't be in a relationship with me."
"I have a boyfriend," the red-shirt muttered, ignored by her loud captain.
"As much as she wants to be, she can't. But she did all this anyway, because-"
"-because you're my captain, and you paid me five bucks," Barbara cut in, annoyed.
Paying no heed to the blonde's comments, Jim concluded, "-because I'm so hot! Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Spock?"
Spock raised his head from his station, and looked over. "Pardon me, Captain? I failed to catch that."
"Oh, it's nothing, I'm just..." Jim stopped, and then pretended to notice his own attractiveness for the first time ever. "I'm... huh. I am really hot, aren't I?"
Suddenly catching on, Bones said, stepping forward, "Goddamnit, Jim, please tell me this isn't the next of your stupid 'reasons'."
"But it is! I'm really hot! Therefore, bed me!"
Spock murmured something akin to 'not even going to humor him with a response' and then turned back to his work.
"Can I leave now?" Barbara asked boredly.
"Fine, get back to work," Jim said without turning to look. The blonde rolled her eyes and left.
A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! :D I love all of youuu.
I'm going to keep writing. I have about 26 reasons so far, and more keep coming to me... honestly it would be harder to think of reasons why Kirk and Spock shouldn't fuck. But I'm sure I'm going to run out of gay eventually, so if anyone wants to contribute, please! :D