"I filed with the Magix Council today."

Just as I knew he would, Baltor looked up at me, startled. "You did what? Why?"

"Because I'm pregnant." I felt my chest relax, as if the lead glove that had had it in a death grip ever since I found out had finally lost its hold. It had only been two weeks, but I'd thought the guilt of keeping the secret might actually kill me.

If he had been shocked before, he was absolutely dumbstruck now. "But… how? It must be a mistake. Are you sure? That shouldn't be possible!" Chills raced down my spine as he stared at me suspiciously. "Did you 'forget' to take your pills?"

"No!" I exclaimed, horrified that he would accuse me of trying to trick him like that. I wanted a child, yes, but not enough to go behind his back like that. "I mean, yes, but I really did just forget. I promise; I was as surprised as you are."

He seemed only mildly pacified, but dropped the subject. "How long have you known?"

I lowered my eyes. "A couple weeks."

"And you're sure it's not a false positive?"

I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was not sounding promising. "Yes, I'm sure."

He sighed resignedly, looking away from me. "Well, we'll have to see Dr. Winters again, I suppose…"

Any hopes I'd had that this would be easy withered and died. "No," I said, in a strong, clear voice. "I'm keeping it."

The words hung in the air like dead weight, the silence that followed heavy and awkward. I had to force myself to count in my head, to remember to breathe.

Finally, he turned around to face me, and my stomach turned. I'd always marveled at those unusual eyes of his, how they were somehow able to reflect so many different emotions at once. But not like this. Anger, pain, and betrayal swirled together to resemble something like a hurricane – and I could only imagine what was going on in his mind.

What have I done? Did I go too far? No – I absolutely did the right thing. He doesn't get to control me.

And still… My heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest, seeing him this hurt. I closed my eyes.

"But darling," he said finally, in his warm velvet tones that usually never failed to make me melt. I knew all his tricks, and right now he was pulling out all the stops to try and persuade me. "You remember what happened last time, what Dr. Winters said. Do you really want to go through that again?"

My hands trembled slightly as I spoke, although I tried to keep the nervousness out of my voice. "I spoke with Dr. Winters. He thinks he's found a way to sensitize me, so the baby will survive."

"And you trust him?"

"With my life," I replied, in a tone that left no room for discussion. "And with the life of our unborn child."

He sighed, shaking his head. "If it's a child you want so badly, there are other ways. We could find a donor, someone whose magic genes aren't incompatible with you–"

"You're kidding, right?" I gaped at him, horrified at the mere idea. "Carry some stranger's baby? Why in the realms would I want to do that?" He opened his mouth, but I cut him off before he could get a word in edgewise, hands balled into fists at my side. "You just don't get it, do you? It's not just any child that I want; I want your child. You're my husband. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" A sharp pain emanated from my palms, and I looked down to see ugly red half-moon-shaped grooves where my fingernails had been. "Or is it that you don't want children? Because if that's the case, you can just tell me." Even as I said it, I felt something like a knife stab in my chest at the thought.

Baltor shook his head vehemently. "By the Great Dragon…" He sighed, rubbing his temples like he had a headache. "What part of you thinks you can do this? It's nothing against you – you're one of the strongest people I've ever known – but this is genetically impossible, and you know that." His tone softened slightly. "You remember what happened last time, how awful that was. And even if some miracle occurred and you didn't miscarry, so many things could go wrong. What's worth that kind of risk?"

The raw emotion in his voice stopped me in my tracks. I looked at him, really seeing for the first time how absolutely agonized he was over this. Slowly, I reached a hand out towards his shoulder.

"I've taken so much from you already… But I am not going to be the thing that kills you. Not if I can help it."

My hand stilled in midair. An eerie cold seeped into my skin, cutting off my ability to breathe. "What did you just say?"

When he turned to me again, his eyes were like a man burning at the stake. "It's true; don't try to deny it. If I was anyone else, we wouldn't be going through this right now. You wouldn't have to live your life in this enormous lie, alienated from all your friends. And you'd be able to have a child that could survive to term without possibly killing you!"

At that, something inside of me snapped, and I found my voice again. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this. You never tricked me into loving you; I did that all on my own. So this is as much my fault as it is yours." He tried to speak, but I cut him off. "No. You don't get to do this. You don't get to make my choices for me, any more than you get to make yourself out as the bad guy to guilt me. I didn't fight you when I miscarried, because I was hurt and numb and maybe even a part of me thought you were right. But the universe has given me – given us – a miracle of a second chance. And I refuse to let it slip through my fingers."

"Goddamn it, Bloom, I don't want to lose you!"

I recoiled like he'd slapped me. In all the time I'd known him, he'd never yelled at me like that. He stared back at me with eyes wide, almost like he couldn't believe he'd done it either; but he didn't look sorry.

"But you're not going to." My throat felt tight, but I refused to start crying. "It's my body. My choice. And I want this baby so much. Why are you so unwilling to let me try?"

"If anything happened to you, I would never be able to forgive myself." I swallowed hard. He's trying to manipulate you, I told myself, but it was easier said than believed. It was so against every fiber of my being not to console him when he sounded this hurt and miserable, to just give in so that he'd stop acting like this.

"There are two of us in this relationship. Two. And that means you have to listen to me as much as I have to listen to you. I know you were absolutely adamant when it was only theoretical, but now there's no what-if; this is actually happening. And I had no idea that I would want this as much as I do, but what's done is done and I don't want to go backwards. I can't spend the rest of my life pretending I don't want children because you think something awful is going to happen again."

My heart beat a staccato rhythm in my chest. I dared to look him in the eyes, petrified at the thought of seeing that storm again. But instead, his face was a steely silent mask, completely unreadable.

It was undeniably worse.

I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood. "I don't want to fight with you," I pleaded. "Please?" Still no response.

A part of me wanted to go to him and fold myself into his arms, but the stronger part, that had pushed me to stand up for myself, kept me rooted in place. "I told Stella a week ago, and the other girls know too," I felt the need to add. "They're all more or less okay with it.

"You didn't take anything from me that I wasn't willing to give."

There was no reply, or sign that he'd heard me.

Because when you took my heart

You took it all

And when you gave it back

It fell apart, so

I won't do what you told me

I won't do what you said

No, I'm not gonna stop feeling

I'm not gonna forget

Author's Note: ...yeah. Don't kill me, please.

In my original outline, this bit was part of the last chapter. Then I changed it so this chapter and the next one were all one chapter, but finally a friend of mine convinced me that this argument needed its own chapter. What did you guys think? Do you agree, or are you ready to lynch me for making you wait for the good stuff?

Only one more chapter left... :-)

Kisses!

- Authoress