Title: Desolate
Pairing: Harry/Snape and Ginny/OMC Or original Male character for all you fancy fanfiction-ers out there.
A/N: The third, but NOT last, installment of my series that started with 'Normalcy'. ENJOY :)
Summary: Harry decides to start Auror training to take his mind off of everything. But then he meets Ajax Everett and realizes forgetting the past isn't easy after all.
The Roads were still covered in snow, but spring had its break one March afternoon. The sun shined and slush adored the streets of the Wizarding world. Harry found himself outside the Ministry of Magic with a paper in his hand. He was still sick from the journey there; the ride seemed to always make his stomach drop. "Welcome Mr. Potter." A man greeted as he stepped forward. Harry nodded and smiled as he entered.
"Can I help you Mr. Potter?" A woman at the counter in front of him asked. Harry felt himself become annoyed by the constant use of his name, but he composed himself. "I'm here to apply for Auror training…?" She tilted her head and smiled pointing to a large brown door at the end of a corridor to Harry's right.
He nodded and waved walking in the direction he was appointed. The corridor seemed to echo his footsteps a million times over as he walked. It was too quiet, and that made him nervous. Harry approached the door holding out his hand to grab the large brass handle.
"DON'T!" Someone shouted suddenly. Harry spun around his wand out in a second flat. There stood a wizard with dark blue eyes and a squared face. He looked at least five or six years older than Harry himself, but he wasn't sure on his actual age.
"Good timing." The wizard said sticking out his hand for a shake. Harry raised a brow placing his wand back inside his robe's pocket. He took the man's hand looking confused.
"I'll be your trainer, I'm Everett. Ajax Everett."
Harry shook his hand, "Harry Potter." Everett's eyes flew to his scar, but Harry's hair covered it, and for this he was grateful. "You don't say….me teaching the greatest wizard who's ever lived. Well, besides Merlin that is. But who even knows if he was real…." Everett opened the large door and they entered a room completely empty.
"Where is everyone?" Harry asked. Everett shrugged, "Dunno…at home…at…some other place with better work. Take your pick."
Harry opened the paper he forgot he had been holding. "Do you need to see my résumé?"
The man stared at him in disbelief. "You have no idea how desperate we are for Aurors right now, do you?" Harry looked from side to side feeling like a complete moron. "Well, I know my friend…well, sort of friend…Kingsley transferred but…" Everett snorted, "…and he wasn't the only one. Brown, Lansing, Caldor, Levi, Randoski…need I continue?" Harry thought for a moment, "But why? Why did they leave?" Ajax laughed aloud this time, and Harry found the sound almost attractive. "Why didn't they leave sooner is a better question. You can't be so blind Harry…you fought in the war…things haven't been going too well with the Ministry in Britain sense…that's why people have been deporting to France, Bulgaria, The States…and some smaller places in Asia, Africa and the Middle east."
Harry nodded.
"You wouldn't believe the trouble we've been in though…no one wants to work for a corrupt society."
Harry's brain hurt from the idea of it all, "Corrupt?"
Everett chuckled, "You have a lot to learn Potter."
Someone's hand scraped nails down his back. Harry bit his lip and tried to open his eyes and it was dark. "Isn't it amazing? The way touch, smell and sight make you feel?" Harry nodded and then aloud said, "Yes." The voice chuckled and the hands were pulled away. "She may have never loved you…but I," Harry turned suddenly and saw just eyes floating in the distance.
"…always have."
Harry opened his eyes and groaned as the light from the window was shone. It had to be noon…he found himself sleeping in later and later each day that passed. From the looks of it, spring was winning the weather battle, the sun was out and the grass peaked through the remaining snow on the ground.
Harry rose and dressed. It would be the first day of his new Auror training. When he arrived there were only a hand full of over witches and wizards there. Ginny, being one of them. Harry wasn't surprised; she had been the one who had told him about it anyways. Everett seemed to be talking very fixedly with her, and Harry waved when she looked over.
Ginny smiled and her eyes lit up.
"Harry!" She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ajax, this is Harry." They had met the day before, but something about this meeting was awkward. "We've met." Everett said extending a hand. Harry took it and shook it.
"This is just so weird. I was just talking about you. Everett was saying how excited he was to be teaching someone like you and then, here you are! Funny how things work out huh?"
Harry raised a brow, "Someone like me?"
Ginny nodded, "You know…famous."
"…and someone who can tell us more about the undermining oppression of the Ministry." Everett added.
"What?" Harry asked. Ginny smiled and Harry found his stomach sinking. What had he gotten himself into?
As the day continued Harry found himself less and less fond of Ajax Everett and more annoyed with Ginny's too happy attitude. They spent most of the day listening to Everett tell his tales of battling numerous death eaters and other dark creatures alike. Harry began to get the feeling that Everett was nothing more than a pathetic attention craving, Hero wanna-be.
"…but I can't brag here in front of the one of the greatest wizards alive, Harry Potter, now can I?" Ginny giggled and everyone else nodded with agreement. "I'm not one of the greatest wizards…"
Everett raised a hand, "I simply cannot let you demean yourself Harry. You might be the utmost wizard we've known since….well, anyone!" Harry found himself counting mentally backwards to stop himself from jumping up and attacking someone.
"Isn't he just amazing?" Ginny asked after the grueling four hours of consistent babbling was over. "Amazing wasn't the word I was going to use." Harry muttered.
"Well, he simply adores you." She pointed out. Harry laughed aloud.
"Because he thinks I'm some sort of God."
Ginny shrugged, "Well you'll always be something like a hero in my eyes." Harry shook his head and said his goodbyes just to be rid of her. He couldn't help but feel like he was completely pathetic after the high praise everyone seemed to give him.
'What about Ron? He died… and what does he get? A funeral paid at the Ministry expense. Big deal.'
Harry laid on his too small bed and thought of Hermione and Ron. It wasn't such a long time ago there were still inseparable. The war could have been partly to blame for the amount of time they spent together, but it wasn't as though it made things completely horrible for the three. The only bad thing that had come from the three of them ever being together was Ron's death.
The day was warm; it was summer. Three weeks since the 7th years had graduated and almost two years into the second war. Harry, Hermione and Ron had spent most of their time at the Order house, but due to recent rise in the Dark Lords power, they were sent out to a small training facility not far from London.
"Harry?" Ron asked from his right. Harry turned and looked at him with a smile on his face. "What's with him?" Ron asked nodding towards Snape who stood across from them, leaning against the Medi-witch cabin. "What?" Harry asked shrugging.
"Staring…it's creepy." Ron glared at him and Snape raised a brow turning his gaze away once more. "He's just eyeing the crowd as he always does…" Hermione explained. Ron rolled his eyes, "Uh-huh…but he looks over here the most. He just fucking hates us."
Harry didn't agree; but he did wonder what had caught Snape's attention so much nevertheless. "Ginny wrote me." Ron said finally. Hermione looked up and smiled, "What'd she say?" Harry kept his ears open but didn't look at Ron who was clearly looking at him.
"Well, she says she misses me a lot…and that mum and dad are always babying her these days…" Ron nudged Harry. "She said she's had her mind on you too mate." Harry felt his face become warm. "Did she?" Harry choked. Hermione smiled to herself but said nothing.
"She's nuts about you. Don't go ruining it, you hear?"
Harry nudged Ron back. "I won't…"
"It think it's so sweet…I mean, I could just picture you two getting married, having little kids." Hermione rested her chin in her hand smiling fondly.
Harry coughed and inhaled deeply, "Wow, slow down there Hermione. Sheesh…"
Ron laughed and soon after Harry found himself following in suit.
It wasn't so long ago they were innocent. Knowing what Harry knew now, it was sad a waste of years because not long after that Ron died in battle. But, in all fairness, it wasn't even what anyone besides the ministry would consider 'battle'. Battle would mean Ron was fighting back…or was at least prepared to do so. He wasn't….they snuck up on their camp plain and simple.
It was just bad timing; Ron happened to be out and about the time they struck. He was dead long before the Medi-Witches assigned for the night collected the few bodies. It just happened that one of them was Ron. It wasn't a shock; maybe that was what had disturbed Harry the most of all. He and Hermione had waited for it; for someone they loved to die. So when it came, it was almost a relief. Finally they could understand what loss meant.
When it came time for Harry to defeat Voldermort he did; and then it was over. It was so simple, so effortless it frightened everyone for it to be over. But they packed their things and went back to living the best they could. Hermione left Britain and Harry stayed in place; stuck with Ginny and every memory that everyone else swore were curses to never be spoken of.
Harry didn't think of Ron and Hermione too much since the war had ended; in fact, sometimes it was as though their entire friendship was a surreal reality. Harry couldn't help but miss it now though; he hadn't been alone…really alone in so long it scared him to think that every time something ended, it really ended. It wasn't just put on hold but instead pushed out to sea to be lost forever.
Harry stood outside of Hogwarts once more and this time the weather was almost spring, real spring. Snape didn't come though; and the doors almost seemed to push him further away. But Harry took his chances and walked forward, into the castle and through the corridors. When he came to stand in front of the dungeons he wondered if this was the plan laid out for him.
From Ginny to Snape. His journey was so short it was strange; but it was comforting in the same sense. Harry knocked once and it was answered with a, "Come in."
Harry pushed forward and found himself looking at Snape. It was like a dream, but Harry felt like he was going to be sick…and somehow that made it real. "Hi." Harry muttered. Snape looked up from desk and raised a brow. "Potter?"
"Yeah…um…Hi." He said again. Harry mentally kicked himself. "The papers are talking again Potter." Harry came closer and saw the moving picture on the front of the daily prophet. It was Ajax Everett. "Auror training. I have to be honest in saying I'm surprised they even considered you." Harry began to open his mouth but Snape interrupted. "Spare me that, 'but I defeated the dark lord,' speech Potter, will you?" Harry swallowed.
Silence filled the room until Harry felt finally he had the courage to speak once more.
"Actually, I was going to say it's not really an honor or anything…I guess becoming an Auror is easier and easier these days." Snape said nothing and his expression was the same indifferent look as always.
"I mean, if it was four or five years ago, I guess I probably would have been denied…."
Snape shrugged and stood towering over Harry. "At least we're on the same page." The older wizard walked past him and back to a book shelf on Harry's right. "I don't think I deserve to really be an Auror…but…I guess it's better than sitting alone and being nothing." Snape said nothing and kept scanning the rows of books for something.
"I know you probably think it's pathetic…me wanting to be something like a hero; but I guess it's all I know somewhat how to do." Harry ran a hand through his hair.
"A few fair spell maneuvers and some lucky coincidences hardly qualify you as a hero, Potter. Surely even you know that."
Harry sighed, "Even so…it's all I know. Chance and luck and standing up for people…it's all I know." Snape grabbed the book he had been searching for and dusted off the cover with his hand. "Why not find out what else you know?" Snape threw the book at him and Harry stared at the cover.
"Discovering Your Mystical, Magical and Unnoticeable Gifts From Beyond."
Snape sat at his desk once more and Harry smiled, "Would you want to go out sometime?" Snape glanced up at him. "No Potter." Harry shrugged and walked out of his office with the book tucked in at his side.
Harry came once more to the ministry, feeling dread at the idea of seeing Ajax Everett. "Harry!" Ginny said waving in his direction. Harry felt his insides tighten as she smiled at him from across the room. Everett came from around the corner grabbing Ginny from behind. She squealed with joy and turned around to face him. Harry stopped in his tracks and stared.
Everett leaned down to kiss her; to kiss Ginny. "Not here git…" she muttered finally. Everett shrugged and let her go. "Potter! Come on! Class starts in fifteen!" Harry shook his head and followed the two down the corridor.
"So…." Harry mumbled to Ginny as Everett gave them a lecture about proper ways to deal with the 'enemy' during an official capture. Ginny kept her eyes forward as Harry spoke, "…since when are you and Everett a thing?"
Ginny's eyes brow came together, "Thing? A thing?" Harry groaned, "Since when have you been dating? A whole two weeks?" Ginny shrugged. "I dunno…I met him when I came here to find a job a while ago."
Harry bit his lip, "...when we were still seeing each other?"
Ginny sighed, "I guess."
"You guess?" Harry said a bit louder than he had meant too. A few people glared in their direction. Ginny finally turned to look at him, "…Harry…we were way over before I starting even thinking about Everett like that." Harry rolled his eyes, "but we were still together!" Harry argued.
Ginny curled her fist into a ball. "Why is this a big deal?"
"It's not."
"Then what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing."
"Stop being such a girl, Harry Sheesh…."
"Nice coming from you."
Ginny glared at him, "Ajax is a nice guy and he's brave; he thinks highly of you for your information…"
Harry snorted, "Because he thinks I'm this ideal Hero who's going to save the world every day for the rest of my life!"
Ginny sighed, "It's not a big deal…I mean…like we said, we were never in love. We were…just stupid and lonely. It was a war…I mean we needed something. But now…" she looked up at Everett who was writing down information about the rights of anyone suspected of illegal magical activity, "…I want to be in love."
"She just wanted to be in love."
Snape looked at Harry with an eye brow raised. "She did then or she does now?"
Harry shrugged. "Both I suppose…I was so stupid…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't see why she'd want to be with someone like Ajax Everett." Snape said nothing. "…I mean, he's pretty…pretty…"
"Handsome?"
Harry glared.
"Intelligent?" Snape offered.
Harry glared more.
"The kind of person you were only more so?" Harry shook his head. "I was never like him." Snape rolled his eyes, "…as you wish Potter." Harry growled, "I wasn't!"
"You were, because you loved her. You only hate this Everett because he has what you can't have any longer. It's human nature."
Harry crossed his arms and looked out the large windows Snape usually kept closed.
"Whatever." He muttered.
"I bet if you two got married you'd have kids that would blow Hogwarts away...Ginny's always been smart, and you can play Quidditch like it's no bodies business!" Harry laughed and shook his head. "It'd be weird huh?" Ron looked at him, "Why would it be weird?"
Harry shrugged, "I dunno...I just never really had a real family you know. Then I would." Ron nodded," I suppose you would."
Harry couldn't think of any excuse to blow off the Auror training that wouldn't make him seem like a complete idiot; so the only choice he seemed to have left was to man up and go. The room was full of a few more people than usual when Harry came in, and this surprised him. He glanced to the front of the room and saw Everett and Ginny talking to a small man wearing all bright colors. When he turned towards Harry a camera was seen.
"Harry! Come over here and meet the new reporter for the daily prophet!" Everett beamed at him and Harry couldn't help but glare back. Ginny smiled and waved; grudgingly Harry followed.
"Well it's a pleasure Mr. Potter." The man said sticking out a hand. Harry took it and shook quickly, pulling back shoving his hands straight down to his sides. It was Hogwarts all over again…it was his life that he swore he'd never repeat all over again. He couldn't stand being seen as famous, and perfect; this hero the world couldn't help but want to hear about. But suddenly, he was back to just that.
"If I could have a minute of your time, I'd love to talk about just what you've learned so far from Mr. Everett here. His program is supposed to improve the Auror community by ten fold!" he explained. Harry looked at Ginny and Everett who smiled back at him.
"…well, I think class will be starting soon and I don't want to miss…"
Everett interrupted, "Nonsense! Go Harry. Talk away." Harry mentally rolled his eyes and reluctantly followed the reporter out of the room. They stood off to the side out of the way of the Classroom.
"Now, then…shall we begin?"
Harry cleared his throat, "I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."
The man looked up at him, giving a very toothy grin. "Randle Kraft." Harry nodded and crossed his arms.
"I have to be honest Mr. Kraft…I haven't actually learned too much about …Auroring at all…" Kraft shook his head and laughed.
"Let's be honest for a minute Mr. Potter, do you think our readers really care about you becoming an Auror?" Harry gaped at him, "…what they want to know is, are you single? Do you still have your hero charisma about you? Just what have you been up to since you killed the Dark Lord and many of his followers?"
Kraft paused, "…and do you feel any regret from killing people who could have been completely innocent under the infamous Imperius curse?"
Harry felt himself throw a punch before he could stop himself. Kraft landed on the floor a few feet backwards looking stunned. "Mr. Potter!" the woman at the reception counter came from around the corner. "I think we're done here." Harry said panting heavily as though he had run for some time.
Ginny came out into the corridor as Harry began to walk away. "Harry! Harry wait!" she screamed.
"What? Do you have another reporter who wants to know my life story?" he shouted. "Or does Everett need me to stay for the day so people can keep on thinking he's amazing for having the opportunity to teach someone…"
Ginny sighed, "…someone?"
Harry growled angrily, "...someone like me!"
"Everett thinks your amazing Harry! It has nothing to do with what other people think!"
Harry laughed aloud. "It has everything to do with what other people will think!"
Ginny said nothing and crossed her arms.
"We stayed together because we didn't want your parents thinking our life was shitty!"
She still said nothing.
"I didn't tell anyone I thought maybe I was gay because I didn't want everyone thinking I was some kind of freak!"
Ginny looked at the floor. She had to have known; she had to be aware that this was the case. Harry wasn't spitting lies or making everything seem larger than life. It was nothing but the truth.
"I didn't admit that I was in love with you…because I didn't want anyone thinking I was weak."
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Everett coming towards them after talking with the reception woman and Kraft.
"…everything we've done…everything we didn't do, was only because we were so damn concerned what people would think. But…" Harry sighed, "I don't care anymore. I don't fucking care anymore Ginny."
Everett grabbed Ginny's arm and turned her face up, "What's wrong?" he asked. Ginny shook her head as tears fell down her cheeks. Harry sighed and turned walking away from them. He was on his way back to Hogwarts.
"I was stupid…and now, I know what I want. I know it…and I think that you might have feelings for me too. So…if we could talk about it…or work it out or something that'd, be…well, great."
Harry stood at the front of Snape's desk, feeling as though in any moment he might die.
"Well?" Harry asked.
Snape stared at him.
Harry cleared his throat, "…do you…well, like me?" Snape snorted, "I'm head over heels for you Potter." Snape said coldly. "Well, thankfully the feeling is mutual." Snape stood up and walked about his desk. Harry couldn't help but admire the way he seemed to always look so sure of himself in every step he took. Maybe it was years of mistreatment that made him so hard to understand or read, but at that moment it was everything Harry admired about him. It was all too perfect.
Snape stood tall in front of him; his eyes were a coal black. It was just the same as the night they first kissed. The night the rest of his life had changed. From something normal, to…this.
"If its love you're looking for Potter…then I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree."
Harry nodded shoving his hands into his pockets. "But…I think you could learn to love me." Snape smirked and his hands came to rest on Harry's arm.
This was it….this was what had started a new chapter. All Harry had to do was move forward and then Ginny would just be another memory shoved back into his subconscious. So he pushed forward and Snape met half way.
Unlike last time, it was no longer cold. Spring was winning over the winter snow, and no one came to stop them from ever happening. Snape didn't seem to be too interested, until Harry felt his hand slide and land on his hip, gripping forcefully. Harry felt his lip being bitten and then suddenly pulled back. Snape stared at him looking indifferent as always.
"I just…I keep…"
Harry closed his eyes and there was Ginny. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" he asked aloud. Snape said nothing. "I mean, here we are snogging and all I can think about is Ginny…" Harry took a few steps backgrounds shoving his hands into his hair.
"Nothing is wrong with you."
"Yes, there is something wrong with me! Why…could I love her…maybe still love her when she never loved me!"
Snape crossed his arms and looked past him.
"What is wrong with me?"
"Leave Potter." Harry looked up at him, "I can't…I just need someone..."
"You need to stop pitying yourself is what you need to do. Weasley is a blind idiot and can't a see a bloody good thing that's in front of her." Harry half smiled, "I'm a good thing?" he asked. Snape rolled his eyes. "…and I shall never repeat it."
Harry sighed, "Once was enough."
Harry stood in front of his mirror examining his form. He looked healthy…he looked good. Was Snape really…did Snape really see him as a good thing? Harry sighed and fell backwards onto his bed. He stood up suddenly as soon as he felt how spacious it was. It was no longer the small, pathetic bed he had transformed after Ginny had moved out. It was big and warm just like it was made to be. Harry looked at it fondly, loving the size and space it gave him.
Somehow, sleeping alone in it felt okay.