The desert.

Burning.

Suffocating, as I raise my hand, posed to snap. They scream, beg, and cry. And when my finger slips and I feel the familiar lurch of my gut, as the alchemy unfolds itself around my fingers, I know I will never forget a face, never let their accusing screams float away with age and time. They will pierce my soul forever and bury themselves within me and then they will punish me when I reach them.

I feel the tears tugging and I swallow them down with no pity, no mercy. I am a dog. A vicious dog, bloodlust in my eyes. Remember what they call you. You are the Burner of Ishbal, a Hellion. Rabies. Remember, Roy, remember. You are their dog. Tamed, snarling and brutal.

That's right, Roy, smirk. Smirk and make them think your enjoying yourself. Show no weakness, or you'll be smothered, and your flame will go out. One day you'll bite them back; show them that you are not a dog, but a wolf in a cage.

But not right now.

Make them believe.

I lift my hand again, about to snap, when I feel a tug on my arm. I look down, prepared to knock them dead, bleeding crimson into the sand, prepared to be the monster they believe I am.

I stop cold.

"Why did you do it?" They question. Small children with brown skin, red eyes and a head full on white hair. They are whole, unblemished, and then a flame bursts from the ground around them, and they burn and burn and burn. And then they are bones.

"Why did you do it? Why did you kill us?"

I flinch and scramble backwards, only to feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn away from the remains and slowly look around, eyes widened in horror and terror, hoping for some reassurance. It's Bradely, a calm smile on his face. He holds a sword, stained with blood, dripping, dripping, dripping.

"Well done, Mustang, well done."

This is my chance, I think, this is my chance. I lift my fingers and snap, a satisfactory smile slides into place. I'm going to enjoy watching him burn. Then suddenly it's not the Fuhrer, but Edward, crouched on the ground in pain, arms wrapped around his face as burns spread over his flesh and skin peels off onto the sandy ground. Edward looks up, and instead of tawny fire, his eyes are pure black, narrowed. He opens his mouth and black smoke rushes from his mouth. His skin is melting away, to bone, to dust.

"You killed me," He accuses, "You killed me."

I am burning.

Burning.

Roy jerked awake and sat up, breathing hoarsely, as small noises escaped from his mouth. He inhaled deeply, coughing as it burned the back of his throat. A sigh bubbled up and he pulled the covers aside, swinging his legs over his bed in relief. It was only a dream. He looked up at the ceiling, watching the fan turn slowly in a lulling manor.

Roy, rubbed grit and sleep from his eyes, reaching out blindly for his crutch as images from his dream wash over him like tar. He pushed himself from the bed, going around the bed frame to the door, hesitating. He shook his head in denial, and pushed open the door lethargically, turning towards the stairway to get a glass of whisky from the living room. His hands shook and the bottle and glass clanked against each other musically. The amber liquid swirled within his cup, and he gulped in down, pouring himself another as soon as the last swallow was down.

When he was up the stairs, having finally brought the bottle with him, he turned to his room, only to notice warm, yellow light, filtering from a crack in Edwards's room. He trudged forward, ready to scorn Edward for being up so late, hypocritically so. He pushed the door open slightly, peeking into the room. His eyes widened and he pushed it open all the way, letting a shocked noise escape unintentionally.

His room was in tatters. The curtains were pulled from the window; the drawers were on the ground in splinters. The blankets were torn into shreds on the floor, and the pillows were ragged, feathers pouring from their gaping wounds. Every single item he had in there was smashed, in pieces that would be impossible to put back together. In the middle of the wreckage, wrapped up in the ribbons of blankets was Edward Elric, head in hands, shivers raking through his shoulders.

"Ed?" He questioned slowly, voice gruff and raspy.

Edward's head snapped up and Roy was surprised to see tears in his eyes, nearly spilling over. They widened until they had taken up a large quantity of his face and he quickly ducked his head, wiping the liquid from his eyes frantically with his sleeve. He got up hastily, looking around desperately.

"Oh god! I'm- I'm I'm sorry! I'll fix this up, I will! I'll make it right, I'll make it right! Stupid, stupid, stupid, always getting yourself into trouble, always making problems for other people!" He began picking up the tattered blanket, and the tears made their silent path down his cheeks. Roy reached forward tentatively. He was afraid, that under his touch, Edward would break away in pieces.

"Edward." He called, grabbing onto Ed's wrist hopefully. Edward recoiled, and winced, trying to pull his wrist from Roy's grasp. His hand was clenched, shaking over Mustangs cautious hold. Roy turned Edward's wrist up and looked down at the hand, slowly unfolding each finger from the object within. It was a large piece of glass. Its jagged mocking edges carved large gruesome red lines across Edward's dainty palm, and his fingers were slashed up, dripping blood onto Roy's nice black and gold Xing carpet.

Roy's jaw tightened and he looked up at Edward Elrics face scornfully. His face was bent toward the floor, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He reached up his Automail arm, and wiped his eyes seriously. He then looked up into Roy's eyes and instead of unspeakable fire, or depression, was a empty, hopeless look which adorned his face. He hiccuped, and looked back down at the floor forlornly. Roy, wanting to strike the boy, put a hesitant hand on Ed's shoulder and pulled him forward softy. He sighed.

"Come on, Edward. Let's fix your hand."

Edward went along limply, dragging his mismatched feet down the hall in dejection. Roy plopped Ed down onto the toilet seat and rummaged around in the cabinet for the first aid kit he kept there. He pulled out anesthetics and bandages, dragging out a small stool from under the sink to sit on. He pulled out a pair of black rimmed glasses and sat them on the bridge of his nose, grabbing Edwards hand to gaze on it. Edward snorted. "I didn't know you wore glasses," trying to stir up small talk. Roy gazed at Ed over his glasses. "Yeah, well, I'm far sighted and when your getting old, your senses tend to dull some." He replied, looking from Ed's hand to the blue box in his lap, rifling through until he found a pair of tweezers.

Roy caught Edward looking at it in distaste, nose scrunched up, eyebrows pushed close together. Roy laughed humorlessly.

"You have glass in your hand, if we keep it in then your hand will get infected, and it will hurt a lot worst than it does now."

Edward pouted.

"I'll take my chances." he said, beginning to pull his hand from Mustangs grasp, but Roy tightened his hold, narrowing his eyes accusingly. "If you hadn't of held onto that glass like a masochist, then maybe you wouldn't have to go through with it," he said, rubbing his forehead with his free hand, "I mean, god, Ed, what the hell were you thinking!" Edward's head dropped down to his chest in remorse, and his shoulders began to shake again. "Never mind," Roy mumbled, turning back to Ed's hand, "Forget I asked, just please, instead of destroying my house and butchering your hand, talk to someone."

Edward was about to open his mouth just as Roy pulled a large piece of glass from his palm. He yelped, ready to yell at the Flame Alchemist, but was silenced with a glare. Mustang went about pulling out the shards, putting them into the garbage can next to the toilet.

"You know," Roy started, troubled by the remorseful, hurt feeling that radiated from Edwards small form, filling the air with sorrow and doubt, "I was wondering." Roy stopped, halfway in between pulling out a small piece of glass and swallowed. Roy knew how it felt to be questioned, called out because of the dark thoughts that lingered in his eyes. He knew how it felt to hate that person, for intruding, when all they wanted to do, was help. Roy looked down at the tiled floor in desperation. Part of him wanted to challenge Edwards silence, and the other wanted to look away and forget that he had ever saw the obsessive regret in the great Fullmetal Alchemist eyes and soul.

"Yes?" Edward encouraged, resting his chin onto his Automail palm. Roy quickly pulled out the other piece and began on another. "I was wondering what you were doing, I mean, you've never broken down before...did...did something happen?"

Edward looked away, tugging at the end of his low tail. He looked up at Roy's slumped form, opened his mouth, closed it and looked away. "Roy-" Ed started biting his bottom lip in a silent struggle between logic and loneliness. Mustang pulled back and studied Edwards face, surprised. That was the first time he had ever heard Ed say his first name. Edward took a deep breath and began again, "Mustang?" Roy frowned in disappointment, and grunted a reply. "I'm not-" abruptly, the bathroom door swung open.

Alphonse stomped in, dressed in Roy's old sweats, eyes narrowed. His fists were balled up by his side and his hair was tousled, sticking up at one end. There were lines beneath his eyes. "Brother," He began lethally, "I saw your room, I saw your light on in the middle of the night and went to investigate." He stalked forward and stuck his pointer finger in Edwards face. "You lied to me! You told me that you were sleeping okay from now on! Why can't you just trust me?" Edwards head bent in shame and Roy looked from Ed to Al in confusion.

"Has this been happening frequently?"

Alphonse turned to Roy. "Almost every night." He hissed. "This is the second time he's gone on a rampage, nearly destroyed everything in his path!"

Roy looked up at Ed in question, clearly surprised. "Is there something you need to tell me Fullmetal?" He queried, pulling out the last piece of glass. Edward's eyes narrowed and he looked at the sink in fury.

"No, nothing at all, General."he seethed, pulling away his hand as soon as Mustang had finished bandaging it. He stood up from the toilet and walked past Al, giving him a look full of complicated meaning. He opened the bathroom door and slammed it shut, rattling the content on Roy's shelves. Roy flinched.

Alphonse let out a breath and turned back to Mustang, whose head was turned away.

"I better go talk to him." He murmured, following after his brother. Roy got up and stretched his muscles. He sanitized his tweezers and began putting everything back into its original place. Roy gripped the sink hopelessly, looking up into the mirror in anger. There were dark, patronizing bruises beneath his eyes, and a hint of stubble across his jaw. His chin was raw, and red from scraping it on the pavement, and a jagged line cut across his chin and neck. He looked deadly, ready to beat down any who opposed him. He looked as if he had had enough of all the pain he had.

Roy shook his head and washed his hands slowly, watching as the blood swirled down the drain. He dried his hands and left the bathroom.

Intent on helping Edward clean the room he sauntered towards his room, reaching out to push it open.

"-happened this time?"

Quiet voices filtered through the door and he paused, pushing it open to a crack to peer into the room. Edward was sitting on the bed, head in hands, shaking his head while Al was standing in front of him, arms crossed over his chest in a parental scolding.

"-to fix this."

Alphonse raised his arms in defeat and leaned forward to put his hands on Ed's shoulders.

"Just let me help you! Please, I'll give anything to help you!" He shook Edward a little bit and leaned back, looking rejected and pessimistic. Roy pushed through, assuming that their little scuffle was over. Both heads turned towards him, and Mustang shrugged, as Al walked past him out of the door with a small smile back at his brother and at Roy. "I'm going to make some coffee." He said, indicating that he would be back.

Mustang sighed and took in the tremendous damage that the tiny Fullmetal Alchemist had caused. "What am I going to do with you?" He muttered, running his fingers over his sighed again and began picking up the torn pieces of cloth on the floor. "Come on, let's clean this room." Edward pushed himself from the bed and went about picking up the splintered remains of Roy's desk.

Mustang got onto his knees and began sorting the mangled objects into piles, keen on fixing most of the objects with a little bit of old fashioned alchemy. Pulling a strip of fabric aside he stopped and looked back down at the carpeted floor. It was a small leather journal, its lock was unfastened, open for any to capture. It was a tantalizing discovery, something Roy was sure Edward wouldn't want any to see, and judging from Al's frustration, not even he had seen it. Roy made a quick grab for it, tucking it into the waistline of his pants before tugging his white T-shirt over the thick book, hoping that the young prodigy would not suspect anything.

Roy didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize Edward and his unsteady friendship, but for the sake of shaking the boy out of his darkness, Roy was willing to take the risk. He would have to be discrete and predatory, a nocturnal animal with a skill for stealth. And when he found the key to unlock Ed's mind and soul, he would take the chance and kill himself in the process if he had to. If not for Edward's sake, then for Alphonse. He could just tell it was tearing up the younger brother into bits, watching his role model, his hero, his older brother torture himself repeatedly in the deep crooks of his mind, hidden behind a false arrogance. Roy knew that whatever Ed was going through that the best thing for him was human presence. If he knew he were not alone, then maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to tear him from the past.

But first he had to find out what was going on. It wouldn't help Edward if Roy didn't know what was he was going through. All he had to go on was that Edward Elric had insomnia, simply because of his dreams, or nightmares, and that a gang of crazy, masked enemies were after him, he wasn't sure why, or what for, but Roy Mustang was certain that the little book tucked in his pants would hold the answer.

For if that wasn't the case, then Edward just might be lost forever in the farthest corner of his mind. Alone. And Roy knew just how that felt.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was three hours later that they finished picking up the scraps and transmuting them into solid objects. Each transmutation had taken a piece of Roy's restless energy, and even the endless amounts of coffee hadn't stifled the drowsiness which cloaked his with the insatiable need to lay his head down on his arm and fall into a dreamless trance. Edward had fallen asleep right after putting everything into order. He had been determined to stay awake through the entire thing, despite Roy's ceaseless objections. Then, near the end he collapsed into an exhausted heap, and even then he would shake himself awake if he felt himself being pulled under.

Roy blinked wearily down at the sleeping form on the floor, curled into a fetal position with his injured hand tucked close to his chest. After debating whether to pick Edward up and plop him onto the bed or leave him where he was, Roy sighed and pulled the mended blankets from the bed, wrapping them around his small framed. Ed moaned and nuzzled into the blankets, kicking out his Automail leg in an uncontrolled way. Mustang swallowed hard and tried to ignore the heat that lurched into his gut, uncomfortable low. Edward's hair was a halo around him, and his mouth was slightly open, enticing, and tormenting. Edward had no idea how Roy felt about him, how he made Roy react.

It was only the fact that he was male.

Roy couldn't help but cringe at the thought of it, and despite all of his objections, he just couldn't push past the fact the Edward had the same anatomy as Roy. Roy wasn't gay. Sure, he bedded plenty of virgin men before, but the commit to one was just something that Roy wasn't willing to do, not at all. Roy Mustang had nothing against homosexuals, nothing in the least, but he couldn't push past it, no matter how hard he tried.

Roy sighed and backed away quietly, closing the bedroom door behind him. There was no point in hoping, sense there was nothing that could change Edward, nor was there anything that could change Roy's view. There was no point dwelling on things you can't change.

So, with new resolve, he trudged down the stairs for a cup of well earned coffee. The little book in his pants waistline rubbed against his skin in a demanding way and Roy quickly decided to take the coffee up into his study to work on it until the sun rose from the horizon.

He pushed his way through the kitchen and nodded at the younger Elric brother in acknowledgment, hoping that he didn't look as tired as he felt. He took the warm cup of coffee from Al's hands and grunted his appreciation, not bothering to let it cool down before taking a large gulp. Its bitter taste coated his tongue and woke him up a bit as it scorched his throat all the way down. "Edward's upstairs, out like a light, I wouldn't wake him." He advised the honey haired man. He spun around and walked out of the kitchen. "Thanks for the coffee," he called back. "I'll be in my study doing paperwork if you need me."

His leg ached from ignoring its constant complaints and he limped up the stairs towards his study, resisting the urge to check on the sleeping Alchemist just across the hall. He shook his head and opened the door, shutting it quietly behind him thoughtfully. His study was a mess. Articles were hung from the walls and paperwork littered the ground and desk. There was a dirty cup on the floor, turned on its side, and a small plate with a scatter of crumbs spread around it. On top of the desk was a lamp, small and hunched over the work area invitingly. Roy groaned and walked to the desk, clearing a small space from filled out paperwork, making a note to get it to Hawkeye when he had the time.

He pulled the journal from its hiding place, and tossed it onto the writing table suspiciously. Roy wouldn't put it past Edward to rig it with Alchemy, making it nearly impossible to open without exceptional Alchemical skill. Or without Edward. Roy groaned again and decided to take a chance, Edward would find out sooner or later, better to try and hope than to give up and mourn. He took off the lock, trembling slightly and opened the cover.

Nothing.

No bright lights, no blood gushing from various places on his body. Apparently Edward didn't think that anyone would find it, he probably kept it safely hidden within a pocket on his clothing, which only he knew about, or maybe he wanted someone to find it, to break through his false cocky grins and pull him from the shadows, either way, it was a victory on Mustangs part.

He took a large breath and sat down leaning over to click on the lamp. Its warm light lit up the crisp white page and Roy bent over his work and began to read, nervous for what was in store for him.

It's been three months since I got Al back, three months since Truth stood before me with a bargain. I didn't know what it had in store for me, but I knew that I was willing to risk everything to get my brother back, no matter what the consequences were. And so I agreed. It wasn't the stupidest mistake I had ever made, no, not in the least, I got Al back, without any missing pieces of my body and I was able to see Winry smile like the sun when we went back to Risembool.

But then that night, that horrible night, I had a dream.

Not out of the ordinary, I know, but it was the fact that it was so brilliant, so real, so terrifying. The thing that really stumped me was the fact that I was a little girl, in the middle of the floor. I wasn't me in the dream, I was someone else. A little girl, bloody and bruised, broken. Abused.

And that's when I realized what The Gate had in store for me.

'Memories can haunt you more than you think, young alchemist, that is a promise' That's what It had said, mocking all of my accomplishments with just a couple of words. The Gate was burdening me with the memories of others, not just my own. Whether they were good or bad, it never made a difference. They still haunted you. Still controlled you until all that was left was a feelings of dread and a longing to kill yourself, to jump of a bridge and end all the torture.

Just as Truth had sworn.

Roy sat back, mouth gaping open at the secret he had just discovered. This was not something that Edward should have been keeping secret; it was not something he should have been left to deal with on his own. Roy could bet that getting his leg taken would have been better than reliving someone else's memories. You would have no understanding of the matter, nothing to compromise, no knowledge to base the horror on and suppress the terror of it. You would have to deal with the raw, jagged feeling of extreme fear, nothing to hold it down.

Roy shivered involuntarily and rubbed his eyes, horrified and pitying. But Edward didn't need nor want Roy's pity. He needed his help. So, determined to get through it without barfing, he rested his head on the palm of his head and turned the page, loosing himself in the sharp and jumpy handwriting that Edward had.

Day 7

We were running. Running away from someone. Someone bad. They had guns and knives and lust for blood in their eyes. Merciless. Stone fallen angels coming to wreck havoc. We had to keep running; otherwise they would make us theirs. They would tear us into pieces and leave us bleeding out on the ground

I tripped and fell to the ground, crying out when I realized my ankle was broken, turned into a grotesque angle. The dust bellowed up around me, coating my white hair, my tan skin, my heart. Weighing me down to the sandy ground.

"Run!" I screamed at my kin, my younger brother, looking down at me in terror, confusing clouding his cute chubby face. "Run now, Eyrim, don't let them catch you, run and keep running, don't you look back, go!" My younger brother started crying, but he leaned down, kissed my forehead and took off running towards the hazy mountains in the distance. He disappeared from view and I breathed a sigh of relief. My brother was safe.

I sucked in my breath and pulled myself up slowly, crying out when my ankle cracked under my weight. But I gritted my teeth and pushed forward only to fall back to the ground with a suppressed scream on agony.

A shadow fell upon me.

"Lookie 'ere, we gotta girl," He looked down at me perversely, smiling crookedly. A group came up behind him, all of them wearing the same horrible blue uniforms, guns slung over their shoulders. One of them chuckled. "Doesn't look like she can move, maybe we should help her?" The first man nodded and leaned down to stroke my cheek. I flinched. "Ah, don' be afraid little one," He cooed and smiled wickedly. Then another man pushed through. His face was emotionless and his eyes were cold and he took his gun from his shoulder aimed it at me and said "Get then hell out of the way, Jerick, our orders were to kill on sight. Women, children and men. Put her out of her pain." He pushed the gun barrel in between my eyes and I looked to the blue sky and prayed, letting the tears roll down my face. Remorse filled his handsome features and he quietly whispered, "I'm sorry." And pulled the trigger.

I never will know what happened to my brother.

Roy nearly closed the book and walked away. To even read this was terrible, now he knew what was haunting Ed. It was the past, but it wasn't just his past. It was everyone's. Roy had never wanted anything to do with the Ishbal Civil War, and he was grateful that Edward never had to go through with it. And now, now he was experiencing it through the victim's perspective. Roy didn't doubt there would be more, and it scared him to think that he might be reliving his past as well while pulling Edward from his.

Roy leaned back sadly and rubbed his eyes.

Bad luck had nothing to do with this. Whoever 'The Gate' was, they clearly wanted to see Edward suffer, to drive himself insane with each memory It threw at him.

And so far, It was succeeding.

Hope you liked this chapter! I worked hard on it, so if you see any mistakes feel free to tell me. I'm hoping to get more reviews for this because they always make me start the next chapter with the intent of making that reviewer happy. I want to get at least three reviews, if thats okay, because they are awesome and I love to hear your feedback. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND READ MY STORY! :D