I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic!
It's June and Konohagakure and Otogakure are merging. After rumors about this had been quieted in recent months, Genin started wondering what they would do next. Now there are worries about upcoming Chunin Exams.
"Hey, Renate-sensei?"
"Yeah? What's up, Ta-chan?"
"There's a rumor going around that the Chunin Exams are this month. Is this true?"
"Aye, that it is. Why?"
"I want to go. Reoko, Mei and I were Chunin in our previous villages and we want to be Chunin again."
"I…Oh, I see where you're going. Problem is, I can only register as Sensei to three students and there are six of you that want to go to the Exam."
"You could have Kabuto-Sensei take three of us and you could take the other three."
"Good idea, Ta-chan. I think I'll do that. Thanks!"
"Your welcome! Bye, Sensei!"
"Bye, Ta-chan. Senpai! Orochi-senpai! Dad! DAD!"
"Yeah? What is it? What's wrong?"
"Is it okay if I register Ta-chan, Mei, and Reoko while Kabuto registers Aiko, Oni and Kumo?"
"I want you to take the younger three. Kabuto will take Takatsuki, Mei and Reoko."
"Okay. When do Chunin Exams start?"
"August ninth is the day the first and second exam starts. The first exam is a written one that tests stealth through cheating. The second test is a five-day survival test in the Forest of Death. The third exam is a tournament. Only tell your students about the first."
"Hai! When is Naruto nii-kun going to go to the exams?"
"Your brother is going to this exam with Sasuke and Uzumaki, Naruto. They are supposedly being taught by Hatake, Kakashi. However, everyone in our village knows that Naruto is the only one that Kakashi actually teaches. Do you call your brother by his middle name when your family is around but by his first name when anyone else is around?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much how I do it."
"You little rascal. I'll never know how I taught you anything, let alone got students of your own."
"I guess it's that I learn when I want and act like a retard when I get hyper. The only time I don't act like a retard when I get hyper is when I'm either training or fighting."
"Interesting hypothesis, although there is room for improvement."
"Ha, ha, very funny. Well, I'm off to train the students until Chunin Exams. The only time we'll be taking breaks is for meals, bathroom needs, and sleep. Later! And don't even think about giving us missions!"
"Not even a B rank mission?"
"Ooh…tempting. Okay, B rank missions, but just to test our limits. Okay, now I really gotta go. I promised Aiko I'd start training right after lunch."
"All right. Try not to teach them snake jutsus, Okay? I want the snake jutsus to be clan jutsus."
"Okay. Then what about Sasuke? He knows how to use lots of them."
"I'll permit him to use them, but I will forbid him to teach it to his students. I'll tell the village that he acquired them through his Sharingan. You keep using them. Soon, our snake jutsus will permanently become the Sheika clan specialty. I guess you could say the snake jutsus for the Sheika clan will be like the shadow jutsus for the Nara clan and the mind jutsus for the Yamanaka clan."
"Wow. I'm bored after that lecture. I'm off. Bye, dad!
"Bye! Remember what I just told you! Sigh…kids."
"She'll never grow up will she, Orochimaru-sama?"
"I don't know, Sasuke. I can honestly say I don't know."
"Hey Orochimaru! We need to talk about the village name! We haven't decided between Leaf or Sound!
"Tsunade! I think it should be Kagegakure, and just have Konoha and Otogakure be a part of a history class at the academy. By the way, Renate suggested we solve the Village leader problem with a rock-paper-scissors tournament. Two out of three wins."
"Winner gets to pick the Village symbol of the merged village. I like the idea of Kagegakure.
"Fine by me. We'll play it the 1-2-3-shoot way. One, two, three…shoot!"
"Hah! Paper beats rock!"
"That's just one out of three. Two to go. One, two, three…shoot!"
"What? Scissors? Alright. You may have won that round, but there's still one round to go. One, two, three…shoot!"
"Ha! Rock beats scissors! I win! I stay the Otokage!"
"I've been thinking about the village name and symbol…I think we should combine the village symbols to make a Leaf-Sound symbol, to show we've merged."
"Good Idea. Renate suggested the same thing to me last night. What do you think the symbol should look like?"
"This: (get picture from Akamaru-chan)"
"Excellent. Same design as Renate's. Get all the ninja for an immediate assembly, Tsunade! Tell them we worked out the three biggest village issues!"
"Yes, sir."
Thirty minutes later, all of the ninja, former Leaf and Sound, were assembled. After telling them about the deal the Sannin had made, Orochimaru told them he was going to be.
"I let Tsunade pick the Village's name and symbol and she decided to go with the majority of the ninja population. In other words, we are going to be known as Kagegakure and we will merge the two village symbols together, so if you're not going on a mission, hand hand your headband in so we can update it. Konohagakure will be a part of the history curriculum and they will be taught the full history, including Konoha, its Hokages and their rivals. There will be two counselors and they will take charge whenever I have to leave the village. If the first counselor cannot take charge while I am away, then the second counselor will take care of the village while I am gone. Any questions?"
"Yeah. Who's the counselors?"
"First counselor is the second Otokage, which was decided before the villages merged. The first counselor is Renate Sheika. The second counselor is Naruto Uzumaki. Renate already accepted this post before, so we don't have to worry about her getting cold feet. However, Naruto might get a little nervous, even though his life's dream was to become Hokage. Do you accept this assignment, Naruto?"
"You bet I do! Believe it!"
"All right, then. That's that. Any other questions?"
"What about Chunin Exams?"
"Good question, Aiko. The Chunin Exams will carry on like they normally do. Anything else?"
"What about ANBU exams?"
"For those ex- Konoha shinobi out there, the ANBU rank is the rank in between Chunin and Jonin and Otogakure has a special exam during the Chunin exam specially for Chunin. The exam takes place in the month of training in between the second and third rounds of the Chunin Exams. The ANBU Exams will also carry on as usual, to answer your question, Sakon. Any others?" After a minute of silence, Orochimaru dismisses them.
August ninth comes all too fast for Team Bijuu. All of Renate's students pass the first exam with flying colors and they are now in the second exam, which takes place in The Forest of Death.
"Okay. We have the Earth scroll. What scroll do you halflings have, Oni?
"We have the heaven scroll, and don't call us halflings. It's not our fault we haven't gone through our teenage years yet."
"You mean puberty?"
"No, because for all you know we may have gone through puberty and we need one of each scroll. Easy enough with six of us. Let's go near the tower and set up some traps. When they do get trapped, all we'll have to do is strike like a snake for his prey! It's that easy!"
"Sounds like a plan to me. Let's go!"
"Wait! What about Sasuke and Sora-sama's team? I mean, yeah they've got Kyuubi, but still shouldn't we help them?"
"Leave them be. We don't want to be caught cheating. Besides, Aiko, like you said they've got Kyuubi."
"Who's cheating? That dad gum proctor never said we couldn't help each other. She just said to come out of here alive."
"Shut up! We'll never get anywhere if we don't stop fighting!"
"Oni's right. Let's go get those scrolls."
Meanwhile, Renate is chatting with the three Sannin, or legendary Konoha shinobi. She knows that since the genin are in the forest of death, she has five days of freedom.
"Hey, Renate, when are you and Kabuto going to have another baby? I need a mini-Kabuto so they can be Sakura's assistant."
"Sakura?"
"Yes, Sakura, you twit Orochimaru. Sakura, as you should well know by now, is my assistant. I'll make you a deal, Renate. If you can train Rin, Hatori, Shigure, or Kagura, or any combination of the four, I'll teach Kabuto everything I know. He and Sakura will be training together of course, but only when it comes to medical ninjutsu. So? Do we have a deal?"
"You bet! I'll train all four of them with chakra control ASAP! I'll also have Kabuto-kun train them in medical ninjutsu!"
"Okay! I'm back!"
"Did you get the you-know-what Jiraiyah?"
"If by you-know-what, you mean Pokky, then yes."
"Pokky? Pokky? Give, Give! Renate wants Pokky!"
"Don't forget snake! Orochimaru wants Pokky, too!"
"And this, Jiraiyah is why you never mention Pokky in front of these two. They always refer to themselves in the third person point of view."
"Renate and Orochimaru, shut up! If you don't I'll never let you have another piece of Pokky for as long as you live!"
"Heheh…that shut them up good."
"Sigh…how did I put up with these idiots? Heck, how did Kana put up with these two? And how the hell did I put up with two idiot squad mates?"
"How am I an idiot?"
"Think about it Jiraiyah. You're the one that got the stump when sensei put us through the bell exercise. It was me and Orochimaru that got the bells."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big whoop, you two got the bells. Yay."
It's the tenth of the month, the second day of the exam and Team Bijuu has already reached the tower with both of the scrolls they needed. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sora on the other hand, still need to get theirs without revealing their true potential. They are all strong enough to be Jonin in one way or the other, and have just run into another ninja team.
"Sasuke-kun! Naruto! What are you doing here? Shikamaru and Sakura have already passed, so I thought that you two would pass as well for sure. And who's the blonde Iruka-sensei?"
"My name is Sora, and I'm Orochimaru's firstborn. We're here for the same reason as you and if you know what's good for you, you'll hand over the scroll. If not, then I'll just summon and have my dad's biggest summoning to eat you and your teammates for a snack. There is, however, the option of facing Sasuke's sharingan or Naruto's doppelgangers."
"Ha! We'll be the ones taking your scroll. Right, boys?"
"Right, Ino!"
"I'm giving him the scroll. I've seen Naruto's doppelgangers in action and they are not something to joke about. Sasuke's sharingan sent shivers down my spine back when I didn't have emotions. Orochimaru is stronger than Sasuke and Naruto combined, so his son probably has the same fearsome abilities."
"What? No, Sai, you can't! If you do that, we'll never pass! Why don't we just work together with them, then?"
"Fine, but only if Sai tells us why and how he goes from being an ANBU Root member to a genin."
"Tsunade-sama turned all ANBU Root members into genin when she was Gondaime Hokage. Does that answer your question, Sora-sama?"
"Yes, it does. Now, let's go!"
"Hai!"
Meanwhile, Renate and Kabuto are acting like a newlywed couple, while Orochimaru is chatting with Kakashi.
"So, Kakashi, how are Kyuubi, Sasuke and Sora doing?"
"I think they are doing quite well, especially in their chakra nature training."
"What? Chakra nature already?"
"Yes. Naruto has wind natured chakra, while Sasuke can use all five elements."
"So, already he is able to use all five elements."
"Yes. Sora has a water natured chakra with lightning as his second element. Both Sasuke and Sora-san are able to use the Chidori."
"Excellent. I must say, they've done well under your tutelage."
"Thank you. Renate, Kabuto and Sasuke excelled far faster with you than they did with me. However, Sakura excelled almost as fast under Tsunade-sama. She even got her inhuman strength and medical skills. Jiraiyah almost trained Naruto as well as the other two, but not quite. And he still did a better job than me."
"Thank you. Hello, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai. While Kakashi and I are on the subject of students, what are yours like?"
"Dad, what's an Aorta?"
"Renate, you should be asking your husband, not me. He's the medic in the family. Besides, all I know about the Aorta is that it's got something to do with the cardiovascular system. If I knew the answer, I'd tell you, sweetie."
"Oh, Okay. Thanks anyways!"
"Your welcome. Sigh…when in the world is she going to grow up and learn that it was curiosity that killed the cat?"
"Isn't she your daughter, Orochimaru-sama?"
"Yes, she is. Okay, back to your students. Gai?"
"As you well know, Neji is a Hyuuga and placed top in his class in his first try at the Chunin exams. Tenten can throw a kunai knife at anything, even a moving object, and hit her target every time. She never misses. Lee is unable to use ninjutsu or genjutsu, so I have trained him in taijutsu with weights on his legs and opening the eight inner gates."
"Interesting. Kurenai?"
"Hinata is also a Hyuuga, but she is of the main branch. Kiba is an Inizuka and he always has his dog, Akamaru with him. Shino Aburame has chakra-eating beetles that live inside of him and he uses them for combat."
"Don't want to fight those three in battle. Asuma?"
"Shikamaru Nara uses shadow ninjutsu and is already a chunin. Chouji Akimichi uses calories to increase his size and power. You'll find that Ino is very bossy and she uses the typical Yamanaka mind jutsus."
"Thank you for briefing me on your students. Kabuto is also a chunin and he is able to use medical ninjutsu, which he uses as both defense and offense. Renate…"
"Dad!"
"Ah! Speak of the devil!"
"I thought I was an angel."
"It's a figure of speech. I presume you have a reason for yelling?"
"Yeah, I asked Tsunade-senpai…"
"Tsunade-sama, Renate-san."
"Shut it, Kakashi. She's my aunt, and I'll call her senpai if I want to, just like Yamato calls you 'Kakashi-senpai'. Anyways, I asked her what an Aorta was and she said that it's the largest artery in the body and it takes blood from the heart to the lungs. She also said that veins carry blood to the heart while arteries carry blood from the heart. Hey, is Hane looking for me?"
"Yes, she is, Renate-san."
"Did I ask you Asuma? No, I didn't. I'm off to look for Saru and Kikyo."
"All right. Hey can you get the others for me, please?"
"Yeah, sure whatever. And I have to fetch how many?"
"Two or three. You were going to go, weren't you?"
"Oh, yeah. Later!"
"Bye!"
"Wow, Orochimaru-sama. She doesn't just look like her mom - she acts like her, too."
"Technically she's got my split personality. Calm around people but when she's with a very close friend or family member, she's hyper to no end."
"Wow. That must be a handful."
"It is. Isn't Naruto like that?"
"No, he's loud all the time. My best guess on her personality is Rock Lee."
"No, Renate acts like a combination of Naruto and Jiraiyah. She's as loud as Naruto, but she has the pervert attitude of Jiraiyah. She gets the latter from her mother."
"Wow. That must be annoying.
"A little, but not enough to confound someone."
"Unless that someone is the Kyuubi."
"Tsunade, be nice. Keep in mind, Renate acts just as stupid."
"Yes, and so did Kana. The only difference is that Naruto and Renate actually use their brains on occasion."
"Isn't Kana-sama dead?"
"Yes. Yes, she is."
"There, there, Orochimaru. At least you still have all of your children."
"True, but I still can't get over the fact that she is dead. Sigh…she was the first peer ever to respect me. Remember, Tsunade?"
"Yes. I remember that she broke the class rule that stated that no one was to sit next to you except Jiraiyah. When sensei had thrown a kunai to stop her from breaking the rule, you protected her. Then when sensei got mad at you for defending her, he threw more to get her to stop touching you but you still kept protecting her. Grandpa actually had to come get the two of you out of there and to the hospital. Her for traumatic shock and you for lack of blood to the point where they actually had to give you your parents' blood. Your parent's nearly died giving you their blood and even then, all three of you needed to take chakra pills on an hourly basis. When your parents got home from the hospital after they recovered, your father slaughtered the clan with you being the exception because you were under surveillance by the ANBU because of your injuries."
"Okay, shut up! I was just asking if you remember. Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, tell no one of what you just heard."
"Yes, sir."
"All right. I'm leaving. Later!"
"Bye! Hey, Tsunade-sama, how did Kana-sama die?"
"One of the sound ANBU killed her when the village hadn't merged yet. Renate killed the guy, though. He had been banished and she had killed him when he was supposedly just passing through the country to get to Kirigakure."
"Poor guy. How'd she kill him?"
"Slow and painful. She let him bleed to death after she stabbed him four times, once in each limb. Sai can give you a full account; He watched it from the treetops."
"Kakashi-senpai."
"Yamato! What brings you here?"
"I've got Orochimaru-sama's kids fresh from training."
"You just missed him. He left three minutes ago. I suggest taking them to Renate. She's looking for them."
"All right. Thanks, Kakashi-senpai."
"I'll take them. After all, their half-sister is my student."
"Thanks Gai-san."
"Arigato Gai-sensei!"
Thirty minutes later Orochimaru and all of his children, with the exception of Sora, who is at the chunin exams, are in the Sheika clan condo.
"All right kids. As you can see, you have one of your numbers missing due to the chunin exams. In order I want to know a little bit about each of you, starting with Renate."
"I'm Renate, I'm a mother of ten, and my husband is Kabuto Sheikah. My dream is to one day kill my foster parents. Dad was the one who saved me from their daily torture and I dislike it when people aside from dad and Kabuto-kun give me orders and my hobbies…I'd actually have to say getting hyper and playing with the kids."
"I'm Kikyo, and I live with Rock Lee, even though we aren't married. My dream is to one day get all the orphans and give them refuge in the village. I hate it when people get teased just because of who they are and my hobbies are sticking up for those getting bullied and going out with Lee."
"I'm Yunachi and I live with Yamato-sensei. My dream is to one day be an elite Jonin with six students at one time. I hate it when people badmouth me or my family and my hobby is training one, so I can beat them up and two, so I can be a Jonin when I grow up."
"I'm Hane and my dream is to one day … um…uh…*blush* I don't really hate anything, but I enjoy the thrill of flying on Sai's birds. My hobbies are drawing and … cooking, I guess."
"I'm Yogosu and … uh… well, I never really gave any of this any thought…"
"I'm Saru and I like to eat ramen. What I love is when Anko-sensei treats me to Ichiraku and what I hate is the three-minute wait after you pour the water in. My dream-
Good grief. Is that all my son ever thinks about is ramen?
"Is to one day be as strong as you, dad! Then I'll finally be able to get some respect around here!
Well, Hasn't he turned out interesting. To think, I'm not just his father, but his idol as well. But how long have I been his idol?
"My hobbies…pranks and practical jokes I guess."
"Okay. Thank you all. That not only helps me but that also helps yourselves, if you know what I mean. We have three days until the second exam is over, so until then good luck!"
"Bye!"
"Bye, dad!"
"Ja na!" ("Later!")
"Sayonara…oh, wait Gomenasai! Ja na!" ("…Sorry! Later!")
It's the eleventh and everybody from Sai, Sasuke, Oni, and Takatsuki's teams have gotten their needed scrolls. Since they have gotten their scrolls, they decide to kill time by training. While all this is going on, Orochimaru is with Saru.
"Alright, Saru. You said you wanted to be as strong as me, right?"
"Yes."
"Then you'll have to go through harsh training. I suggest using a few doppelgangers. Any information or skill one of them acquires is transferred to you once they vanish. I suggest twenty at the maximum."
"Okay! Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Twenty doppelgangers appear and are ready for training.
"Okay. Ninja skill three: ninjutsu. Then we'll work on Taijutsu. Okay?"
"Hai!"
Meanwhile Renate is with Kabuto.
"Renate, how could you? We're married! We're not supposed to keep secrets from each other!"
"You should be able to tell when I'm pregnant by now, Kabuto. For the love of snakes, Kabuto, Tunade's teaching you everything she knows!"
"What's that got to do with anything!"
"We're supposed to help our four youngest on chakra control as payment. Besides, if she's teaching you everything she knows you should be able to tell if I'm pregnant within the first trimester. That's how it's relevant!"
" Fine! Have it your way! I'm going to work the kids on chakra control. But I want you to keep your half-siblings occupied in return!"
It's the twelfth and Team Sora has just run into someone that looks just like a red-haired Naruto in the tower.
"Hi. I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Believe it! These are my teammates, Sasuke and Sora."
"I'm Subaru. I'm gonna become one of Orochimaru-sama's counselors."
"I'm Honame. I'm gonna be the best sound kunoichi there is."
"You mean with the exceptions of Renate-sama, my big sister and me. I'm Kinara, by the way."
"Blah, blah, blah. Can we go now, Sora?"
"Don't mind Sasuke. He's pretty much rude all the time. Oh, and I'm Sora. AKA, Orochimaru's second oldest."
"Our teacher is Natsuhi, a former Hoshigakure ninja who was exiled because she was assigned to destroy the star by the third Hoshikage. She told us to go on ahead because tracker ninja from Hoshigakure were attacking us on the way here. Who's your teacher, Sora-sama?"
"Uh-oh. I'll have dad send out a patrol to look for her if we haven't found her by the end of the chunin exams. We're being taught by a combination of Hatake, Kakashi and dad. Dad's the Kage, so he had Kakashi-sensei bring us here instead of himself. What do you say we meet up after the chunin exams?"
"Okay, sounds like a plan. What do you say we all put our best in and may the best ninja become chunin?"
"Deal! Hey, Subaru, who's your parents?"
"Natsuhi-sensei is my mom and she says that the fourth Hokage was my dad and that I have a half-brother in Konoha. Honame is my twin sister. I know Sasuke is an Uchiha and Kinara has an older sister in Otogakure. So, who's your parents, Naruto?"
"Ero-sennin never told me anything about my parents. Neither did Kakashi-sensei."
Meanwhile, Renate and Kabuto are out on an outing and they find an injured rogue Jonin.
"H-help…please…help…"
"Don't worry. My husband is a medic. He can heal you. Kabuto-kun! Kabuto-kun, we have an injured Jonin!"
"What? Where? Holy cow, what happened?"
"I don't know but you best get her some medical attention. Now."
"Alright. What's your name?
"Natsuhi. …please…"
"I know, help. I'm going to need you to hold still or this could make the injuries worse."
"Okay."
A little while later, Natsuhi wondered what Otogakure was going to do to her. She was a rogue, and her students had joined her willingly. She knew by the white room and soft bed that she was in a hospital and had blacked out.
"Good to see you're coming around, even if you are in the ninja bingo book. Fortunately for you, the third Hoshikage told me what was going on and the mission that he assigned to you, Natsuhi."
"Tsunade-sama. You…wait. What's going on? Orochimaru's supposed to be in Otogakure, not you. I thought I was heading to Konohagakure."
"You were. Otogakure and Konoha are going to merge together since both villages are running low on chunin and jonin. Orochimaru's been taking rogues into his village for quite a while now. He's already recruited Akatsuki, some of the swordsmen of the mist, and eight of the nine jinchuuriki. I've already had his daughter talk to him, and they've agreed to let you and your students stay for a little while. You're lucky Renate knows your lullaby. I'm not sure, but I think she's been calling it Natsuhiboshi."
"Hallo. How are you doing, Natsuhi-chan?"
"That's the first person you haven't given a nickname to in a long time Renate. Renate didn't just get you to the village, Natsuhi. She's also Orochimaru's oldest daughter."
"I'm doing much better than I was, thanks to you. Tsunade-sama says you know the lullaby that I like to sing to my children."
"Renate, what have I told you about disturbing people when they should be recovering? How would you feel if Sasuke wouldn't leave you alone?"
"Bad. So, Natsuhi, want to sing Natsuhiboshi?"
"I…Okay."
"Natsuhiboshi naze akai! Yuube kanashii yume wo mita Naite hanashita. Akai meyo. Natsuhiboshi naze mayou? Kieta warashi wo sagashiteru. Dakara kanashii yume wo miru."
"That was a very good duet ladies."
"Thank you Orochimaru-sama."
"Yeah. Thanks, dad."
"Hey, Renate, shouldn't we be celebrating?"
"Hn?"
"Don't tell me you've forgotten what today is."
"Oh, yeah! Today's my twenty-eighth birthday! I completely forgot thanks to the chunin exams. That and finding Natsuhi nechan."
"How is this Natsuhi's fault?"
"It's not. I'm just deciding to blame it on her for the fun of it."
"Renate!"
"What? I'm just playing. Good grief, Aunt Tsunade, you need to take a chill pill."
"Okay. Natsuhi, you can go, but only if you take it easy. I suggest lounging around the village somewhere whenever possible. We healed your major wounds, but they are still tender and will start to bleed if you get too rowdy."
"Yes ma'am. I will. Where will I be staying, Orochimaru-sama?"
"Well, since I've moved all my clan into the Sheika condo, you and your family will be living in one of the vacancies they left behind. Yes, you may stay in Otogakure as a permanent resident, Natsuhi."
"I don't know how to thank you enough, Orochimaru-sama. I really don't."
"Well, your twins have a half-brother through their father named Naruto Uzumaki. I think he should stay with you three so he can actually have people to call his family."
"Okay. Which building?"
"I don't know yet. I'll let you know as soon as I do."
"You might want to promise on that, dad."
"Yes, B-I-L."
"Alright, I promise. Now will Renate and Tsunade please be quiet?"
It's the thirteenth, and the Sheika clan stayed up until midnight celebrating Renate's birthday. Natsuhi has moved into Suku's old house and has persuaded Kakashi and Yamato to help her move Naruto's things in, since Tsunade told her to take it easy for a while.
"Thanks again for helping Kakashi, Yamato. I really don't think I can pay you guys back."
"Just make sure Naruto-kun doesn't fight with his brother and sister."
"We especially don't want him losing his temper since he's the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. If that happens I'll have to get Yamato to regain control of him."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Yes, what does it mean, Kakashi? How are you able to control a jinchuuriki without a cursed seal on them?"
"It's the first Hokage's kekke genkai that allows me to control them, but only if they are wearing his necklace."
"Exactly my point, Yamato."
"Hey, Yamato, Kakashi, Natsuhi! Time to stop the pointless chatter and go to the tower! It's time for the prelims of the third exam."
"Okay. Let's go."
Meanwhile at the tower, the genin are lining up in their teams of three.
"Hey, Sai, do you think we'll get to the third exam? Only twelve people are allowed to take the third exam, and that's the maximum. Which of the eight teams are going to go on to the next exam?"
"Well, judging by the looks of them, our team, Sasuke's team, Renate-sama's team, Her husband's team, and the redheaded Naruto's team will get in for sure. Some of us will be left out, though."
"Oh. Okay. I just hope it's not us."
"Shh. Orochimaru-sama and the Jonin are ready to begin."
"Well done, and welcome to the third exam. Well, the preliminaries, that is. There are twice as many of you as are able to take part in the third exam, so we are going to have a little preliminary fight. The fight will not take place between squads, but rather between two of you chosen at random."
"Excuse me, Orochimaru-sama, but I, Anko Mitarashi, would like to tell them the rest."
"Very well, Anko."
"Allright you runts, if your name isn't called, then head to the balcony. You'll come down when it's your turn to fight. First up is Sasuke Uchiha and Sai. Any complaints? No. Begin!"
Giga: Nija ninpuu
Sharingan
"Wh-what's happening? What the?"
"You like? It's a special sharingan - the eagle eye sharingan."
"No. No, make it stop. Please make it stop."
"I'll pass. I'm not exactly wanting to see your jutsu, but by the looks of it, your techniques are your basic living art jutsus. Pathetic."
"I…I, Sai, wish to withdraw from the match! I surrender!"
"Sasuke wins by forfeit. Next up, Kiba Inizuka and Kinara Tsuchi."
"What loser is that? Oh, great. I have to fight the dog and his stinky mutt. Let's see, how to do this…"
"Yeah, we just won the jackpot! Let's go Akamaru!" *Arf!*
"Begin!"
"Man Beast Mimicry: Man Beast Clone!"
She tosses a needle and there is the soft sound of bells.
"Wh-what the?"
"You like? These needles use sound to attack. First comes paralysis, then you start hallucinating. If you endure it long enough you go deaf, and if you go much longer than that, your body goes into shock. By the looks of it, your mutt can't take much more. It's already collapsed."
"No! Akamaru! Hang in there! We have to defeat her! If Shikamaru can beat her sister, we can beat her!"
"Akamaru, Akamaru. Man, you are such a baby. Much more of a baby than that useless Hyuuga you have to call a teammate."
"Why you! I'll get you! Go, Akamaru!" Akamaru growls and then tries to bite Kinara on the arm. He misses and runs into the wall.
"Hah! You call this a ninja dog? It's pathetic! No wonder people were laughing at you and your teammates last time you went to the chunin exams. It's pathetic, not to mention Konoha must have been desperate for chunin before our villages merge."
"Shutup! Just shutup! You know nothing about my teammates and me! How would you feel if I talked trash about your teammates?"
"Kinara, stop badmouthing his ninja team. We don't need a murder on our heads."
"Yes, Natsuhi-sensei."
"Use your nose Akamaru." Akamaru tries again and collapses beside Kiba. "gh…come on Akamaru. You're the only fighting chance I've got against this girl."
"Well, I'm bored. This is dumb, when am I going to be allowed to go back to my teacher?"
"When you're done with the exam. At the rate you're going, you're just making yourself look like a coward. So, what's it going to be? I can still use my nose, even if the rest of me is uncoordinated." Kiba attacks her directly, and manages to land a blow. Kinara deflects it, however, and aims a punch at his face. He dodges by bending backwards and bangs his head against the wall behind him, resulting in a concussion.
"I got that one from my sister's fight when she was at the chunin exams a while back."
"Kiba is unable to continue. Kinara is the victor. Next up is Naruto Uzumaki vs. Hinata Hyuuga."
"I, Hinata, wish to withdraw from the match."
"By forfeit, Naruto wins. Next up is Honame vs. Tenten. Any complaints?"
"Nope I'm good."
"I can take her."
"Begin!"
Tenten pulls out two scrolls and unravels them. After she does this, she summons her weapons from them and throws them at Honame.
"I'll give you a little hint, Tenten. I deflected your weapons with the same technique as Temari of the sand. In other words, you might want to withdraw." With this Tenten tries again, and Honame pulls out her fan and deflect it. Her fan one-third of the way open and everyone in the room can see that it is black with a red cloud. "When you see three clouds on my fan, it's over." Tenten tries a second time and Honame uses her fan again, revealing a second cloud. When Tenten summons and throws all of her weapons at once, Honame deflects her attack a third time, revealing a third cloud. "Three clouds. Times up." She swings her fan and Tenten is hurled into the air by the gust of wind. Honame traps her there by creating a tornado with her chakra. Honame closes her fan and Tenten comes crashing down. Honame sticks her fan upright and Tenten lands on it in the middle of her back.
"Honame wins. Next up, Oni and Ino Yamanaka." Anko waits for them to get to the floor. "Begin!"
"Ninja art: Mind transfer jutsu!" Ino collapses, her spirit in between her own body and Oni's. Oni dodges and yells "Ninja art: Hidden Snake Jutsu!" The jutsu transforms her into a black tiger snake the size of her normal self, and Oni then attacks Ino directly. She is able to coil around an unconscious Ino and there bite her anywhere she pleases. Oni chooses to bite the shoulder, poisoning her with a venom that is the eighth most poisonous known to the Sheika clan.
"Waah! Kasama! Asuma-Sensei!"
"Oni wins. Sakura, get Ino some medical attention!"
"Yes, Anko-sensei."
"Next up is Subaru and Chouji Akimichi. Any withdrawls or complaints?"
"I took way too long to get this far. I'm not going to back down now!"
"Heh. You talk like Naruto. I'll be sure to win this for Asuma-sensei since Ino and Sai lost."
"Begin!"
"Ninja art: Body expansion!"
"Hey, since when has body mass mattered in this exam?"
"Human Boulder!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, two can play at that game! Ninja art: Natsuhiboshi's sorrow!" Out of nowhere, a river of water appears and a red star is shown on Subaru's Headband under the Leaf. "Natsuhiboshi's anger!" The water rose farther, hungry waves crashing down on Chouji.
"Gaah! I'm…I'm drowning!… I surrender!… I withdraw!"
"Subaru wins. Sora and Shino are next. As soon as you two can wade through the water you may begin." Man, Natsuhi's students are good; none of them lost. And to top it off, if Sora-sama wins, so will Kakashi's students. Then there's Renate-sama and Kabuto's students. How in the world will the other countries think that we aren't biased. After all, only one of the sound shinobi made it the last year there were Sound shinobi in the exams.
"If you want to withdraw, now's the time. I won't hold back just because you're Orochimaru-sama's son."
"There's only one thing in the world that can make me withdraw, and that's if my sister is having a kid. Unfortunately for you, she's in the room so you don't have a crying chance."
"Very well. Fan out." Hundreds of beetles come out of his body and attack Sora.
"Summoning Jutsu!" A large boa appears and bares its sword-sized fangs. "Finish him!" As the snake lunges at Shino, Sora jumps off it. Using all of his beetles to keep the snake at bay, Shino is forced to fight Sora with taijutsu. Sora easily wins and Shino is taken to the infirmary.
"Sora wins. Next up is Takatsuki and Neji. Any complaints?"
"No."
"Nope, I'm good."
"Begin!"
Byakugan. "Crap. This attack is strong. Lighting nature put into Naruto's Rasengan. I'd be best off avoiding this."
"Rai Rasengan!"
"Rotation!"
"Nice try, but that's not going to work on me. Katon Rasengan!"
"Aaagh!" The attack hits Neji and burns everything below his neck but not to the point of permanent damage
"Takatsuki wins. Next up is Mei vs. Udon. Any complaints or withdrawls?"
"Why am I up against a four year old?"
"Consider it a handicap. Any others?"
"Why am I fighting one of Renate-sama's students?"
"Luck of the draw, you snot nosed brat."
"Begin!"
"Ich träume jede Nacht von dem hellen Stern der oben am Himmel steht und über mich wacht. Er tröstet mich immer wie der beste Freund, wenn dich etwas traurig macht. Ich habe meine Eltern so lange nicht gesehn. Du weißt doch wo sie sind, bitte führe mich dorthin. Ich laufe für sie bis ans Ende der Welt, bis ich endlich bei ihnen bin."
"Mommy…I want my blanky…" Udon collapses from Mei's lullaby.
"That, brat, was a lullaby called Natsuhiboshi that mom translated into German. It just so happens that Natsuhi-sensei taught it to Renate-sensei."
"Mei wins. Next up is Reoko vs. Moegi. Any complaints that do not have to do with age?"
"Can I leave and come back after I use the bathroom?"
"Idiot! You're just as much of a fraidy cat as your teammate just now!"
"No, you may not. Begin!"
"Come on Moegi! You can do this! Prove to this witch that we're ninjas!"
"Konohamaru! Watch your mouth! Moegi, if you don't win this, it's not your fault! She's older and has a better teacher than you!"
"Good grief, Ebisu! What a way to cheer up your students! Even if they aren't ready for the chunin exams like you thought! Reoko, go easy on the runt out there!"
"Yes ma'am."
"It was all Konohamaru's idea!"
"Shutup, brat! I may be going easy on you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to forfeit and let you win within a minute of you getting out on the battlefield. These are the prelims and if you can get past these, you're expected to have chunin potential."
"I want my mommy!"
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A large white dog the size of a horse appeared out of nowhere. "Sit, boy."
"M…m…mommy!…k…Kasama!"
"I'll let you land a free jutsu on me directly before I attack you. Go on. Try to hit me."
"Transform!"
"Hah! You think transforming into a miniature Kyuubi is going to save you now? Talk about stupid! Sic her, boy!" The dog charges at Moegi and the they clash. Moegi uses two of the tails from her transformation to knock Reoko off of her summoning and uses the rest to try to defeat the dog. She fails in her attempt at attacking the dog and is bitten in the chest. She yells in agony and returns to normal. After she blacks out, Sakura takes her to the infirmary.
"Reoko wins. Next up is Kumo vs. Konahamaru Sarutobi. Any complaints? Surrenders? If not, then you may begin!"
"Multi shadow clone jutsu!"
"Hah! You've got another thing coming if all you can use is Kage bunshin! Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" Twenty of Konohamaru's fifty doppelgangers disappeared as the flames engulfed them.
"Ninja centerfold!" Kumo jumped up to dodge Konohamaru's attack as an added precaution.
"What the devil? Man, I don't know who the hell teaches this kid but I sure as hell pity them! Fire Style: Fireball technique!" As the flames engulfed every thing below him, Kumo realized that only the doppelgangers were below him.
"Rasengan!"
"What the - ?" As the Rasengan hit Kumo, he vanished like his attacker's doppelgangers. As soon as Konohamaru realized this, he was too late. Kumo kicked him and sent him hurling to the ground.
"Wh-whaaah!"
"Brat! Give up and I won't go further! If you don't I'll attack your nervous system and leave permanent damage."
"I…I… never!"
"Have it your way. Ninja art: Sheika's demons!" Miniatures of the bijuu appeared made from the rocks they were standing on, each one the size of an adult human.
"Wh-what in the world? That's cheating! Anko-sensei!"
"No, it's not, Konohamaru. This attack is just like Subaru's Natsuhiboshi attacks."
"That doesn't help me any."
"Demon's hunger!"
"Waaah!" The demons attacked and Konohamaru was engulfed in tails. When Kumo called them off of Konohamaru, he was covered in his own blood.
"I told you to forfeit. But did you listen to me? Nooo. Well, at least you lasted longer than your teammates. And that was without me giving you a handicap."
"Kumo wins. Sakura, we have another Moegi. Next up is Yuukimaru and Minoru! Begin!"
"Give up! You got the stump in the bell exercise! You don't have a prayer!"
"Water style: Rising Water dragon!"
"Help! Help! Guren-sensei!"
"Yuukimaru wins! Next up is Aiko and Rock Lee."
"Yes! This is it, Lee! Remember, you are in the prime of your youth, don't forget your secret weapon and for Pete's sake, stop taking notes! You can't use them in the heat of battle, even if your opponent is just a child!"
"Hai, Gai-sensei!"
"Rock Lee! If you don't come down her by the time I count to three, you forfeit the match."
"Hai, Anko-sensei!"
"Finally. All right, any complaints?"
"Nope, I'm good."
"I'll take him on. Can't be worse than being abused by my parents my whole life."
"Begin!"
"Konoha Senpuu!"
"Nice try, but you're going to have to be faster and stronger than that. You'll have to face up against my kekke genkai."
"Lee. Use it!"
"But remember what -"
"It's all right. Don't go as far as last time!"
"Hai!" Lee takes off the orange leggings he has on to reveal weights on his legs. He takes them off and drops them on the ground, raising up two dust clouds where they fell. "Gate of Opening!" His movements are a blur, but Aiko can see him just fine because of her kekke genkai. Kakashi and Sasuke both use their Sharingan to track him.
"Not too shabby, bushy brow! How's this?" She vanishes only to reappear behind him a second later. She uses one of Kabuto's favorite knock out techniques by hitting the pressure point on his neck. He collapses only to get back up even though he is unconscious. "What? Still trying to win? Well, it that's how you want to play. Gate of -"
"What! No way! She just copied that from Lee using it! She couldn't do that before the exams!"
"Quite, Oni. It's time to shut up and watch."
"I believe what Kabuto-sensei is trying to say, is that there's a time and a place for everything. Now is not the time and place to be talking. Unless you're me or Bushy Brows of course."
"Konoha Senpuu!"
"Ugh! If you don't give up you're going to end up than you did when you fought Sabaku no Gaara! FYI, I was pulling your leg about using the eight inner gates earlier. This one's the real deal! Gate of Opening!"
"Huh…Wha? Gaak!"
"Oh, now you wake up!" She kicks the underside of his chin, sending him into the air. She then wraps Lees bandages around him to trap him. On their way down she spins him uncontrollably only to let him go when they are close to hitting the floor. "Primary Lotus!"
"Gaah!
"Aiko wins. As soon as someone gets Lee out of here, I want all of the winners to come down here."
"Hai!"
"Yahoo! All of Natsuhi's team made it!"
"What's so good about that, Naruto?"
"Because Naruto is Subaru and Honame's half-brother through their dad."
"How did you know, Sora-sama? Mom only told us about that."
"Honame's right and we should have known that all of Renate-sama and Kabuto-sensei's students would win, nechan. I still think it's not fair, though. I mean, only Otonin made it out of the forest of death."
"Would you be quite, Subaru? If nobody else made it out of the forest of death, then it's their own fault for losing against us."
After Orochimaru's announcement the genin train until their parents' curfews. Honame and Subaru go home with their mother, Natsuhi. Naruto comes in, having been told where to go by Yamato. After eating they go to bed but Naruto wants to know if his half-siblings' mother knew any lullabies that his mother may have known. She tells him that she did teach his mother one lullaby and that she had translated it into English and German from the raw Japanese. Naruto is still awake after she sings it, but Honame and Subaru are asleep.
"Mom, will you sing that lullaby again? Can you sing it in Japanese, then German and then in English? Please?"
"Alright, once more Naruto. But after that, you have to go to bed. Promise?"
"Promise. Believe it. Oh, mom."
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie. Natsuhiboshi naze akai!
Yuube kanashii yume wo mita; Naite hanashita. Akai meyo; Natsuhiboshi naze mayou? Kieta warashi wo sagashiteru. Dakara kanashii yume wo miru.
Ich träume jede Nacht von dem hellen Stern der oben am Himmel steht und über mich wacht. Er tröstet mich immer wie der beste Freund, wenn dich etwas traurig macht. Ich habe meine Eltern so lange nicht gesehn. Du weißt doch wo sie sind, bitte führe mich dorthin. Ich laufe für sie bis ans Ende der Welt, bis ich endlich bei ihnen bin.
Natsuhiboshi why are you so red? Because I had a sad dream last night.
My eyes are red from the tears I shed, Swollen as I cry. Natsuhiboshi why've you lost your way? I'm searching for a child whose gone afar. He can't be found though I've searched all day, My sad dreams come once more.*"
"Hey, who's going to teach us?"
"That depends on who you want to be taught by. That also depends on what Jonin is training whom."
"Night, mom."
"Goodnight, Naruto-kun. I'll see you in the morning."
It's September 15th and Otogakure is getting ready for the final rounds of the chunin exams. After one month of training with separate tutors, the genin are ready for the tournament that will decide whether they become chunin or not. This time they are meeting in a stadium filled with people and are lined up in a row. Anko is once again the proctor for the exam. Wondering where Sasuke is, Naruto starts fidgetting.
"Stop fidgetting and hold your heads up high for the guests. Besides that, the exams are about to start."
"First up, Sasuke Uchiha vs. Reoko Taiyoukai! Begin!"
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Once again, a five tailed dog appears from nowhere and waits to attack.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A giant spider appears, and it is apparent to Kagegakure that he has been training with Kidoumaru.
"Kill him!" "Kill her!" The summonings attack the other summonings, but the spider wins the fight by scattering its eggs and keeping the dog busy. Reoko and Sasuke clash, and Sasuke wins with pure speed.
"Next match, between Takatsuki and Subaru of Hoshigakure. Begin!"
"Bring it on you little brat! Katon Rasengan!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, two can play at that game! Ninja art: Natsuhiboshi's sorrow!" Once again, a river of water appears and a red star is shown on Subaru's Headband under the Leaf. "Natsuhiboshi's anger!" The water rose farther, hungry waves crashing down on Takatsuki.
"Ha! A one trick pony, just like your brother! Take this! RaiRasengan!"
"Guaah!" I will…I will not… I will not back down! I've got to make wings with my chakra! I've just got to!
"Hahahah! That's funny! You think making wings from your chakra is going to help!"
"Ich träume jede Nacht von dem hellen Stern der oben am Himmel steht und über mich wacht. Er tröstet mich immer wie der beste Freund, wenn dich etwas traurig macht. Ich habe meine Eltern so lange nicht gesehn. Du weißt doch wo sie sind, bitte führe mich dorthin. Ich laufe für sie bis ans Ende der Welt, bis ich endlich bei ihnen bin."
"Hnn…so…sleepy…Gah! What am I thinking! I can't just go to sleep like this! No way! Wait, where'd he go?"
"Natsuhiboshi why are you so red? Because I had a sad dream last night. My eyes are red from the tears I shed, Swollen as I cry. Natsuhiboshi why've you lost your way? I'm searching for a child whose gone afar. He can't be found though I've searched all day, My sad dreams come once more."
"Hnnn. So tired…" Gotta fight, gotta fight, gotta …sleep…
"Heheh. Works every time."
"Subaru wins! Next two!"
"Ninja art: Pheonix Talon Jutsu!" Rock talons are hurled at Sora with blinding speed, but he dodges them easily.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A large snake appears and attacks Kumo, and swallows him.
"Ninja art: Pheonix Talon Jutsu!" Rocks are hurled again, this time at the snake. It makes no move to dodge and is unharmed by the "Talons". It takes the rest of Kumo's strength to get out of the summoning, but Sora is waiting for him.
"Hidden Snake Hands!"
"Ungh! Can't…move!…Must…not…lose."
"Kumo is unable to continue. Sora wins! Next up, is Aiko vs. Kinara!"
"You're not going to throw those bell things, are you? I'm telling you they won't work."
"We'll just see about that! Hah!" The needles miss, but Aiko is too fast for Kinara to react.
"Kage bunshin no Jutsu!" Four doppelgangers appear and make a square around Kinara. Each one takes turns kicking her upwards, and the real Aiko kicks her down. Aiko then moves on to use the primary lotus.
"I'm not done, Aiko! Katon Kogakyuu no Jutsu!" A fireball appears, but Aiko has already dodged it. Aiko moves on to hit all of Kinara's pressure points and hit the one on the neck last, knocking her out.
"Aiko wins! Yuukimaru vs. Koyuki!"
"Something's wrong with you, Koyuki-san. I can see it in your eyes. I'm curious, what is it?"
"I withdraw!"
"Okay, that was weird. Last, but not least, Naruto Uzumaki vs. Oni!"
"Kagebunshin no Jutsu!"
"Kuchiyose!" Crap, even with the snake, there's still way too many doppelgangers to take out. Plus, he'll probably take out the snake with that attack he's building up. I'll avoid it, but if it's too strong, I'll have to withdraw. Renate-Sensei will understand.
"Oudama Rasengan" Blast it, I missed! Round 2!
"I withdraw!" Man, that attack was too strong for me. No way, no how would I tolerate that ginourmous thing.
"The winner is Uzumaki, Naruto! Unfortunately, we must cancel the rest of the exams due to the uh, Lack of shinobi from other villages, and I will collaborate with my fellow Sannin to decide on who gets to be Chunin or not. Well done, ALL of you! However, for a special treat for defeating Pein to save Konoha, he gets to fight a Chunin! The chunin he will be fighting is none other than the Sheika clan's heiress, Renate."
"Get ready, Naruto."
"I'm gonna beat you! Believe it!"
"Sure you will. Just wait till I get going. Did you know I was the champion of my year, because I was. I told my students to let you all beat them. Dad will still make them Chunin. What's the matter, Kyuubi? Can't take the truth? Dad says that if I can beat you, I'm allowed to kill my foster parents. However, if you beat me, I have to tell you where your dad has been hiding your whole life after - Nevermind."
"After Kyuubi?"
"Yeah. You do know what your father looks like, right?"
"No."
"Wow. Alright, enough talk. Let's fight."
"Kagebunshin no Jutsu!"
"Multi Snake Hands!" Hah! That took care of his doppelgangers! Now, how to make him pass out without activating the Kyuubi? Well, I could summon, but… Oh, slugs!
"Kuchiyose!" Two large toads appear, one yellow and the other red. "Gamakichi and Gamatatsu! We've gotta beat her if I'm gonna be Chunin!"
"Kuchiyose!" Take this, Kyuubi!
"What the hell? Who the hell are you, and how can you summon the same damn thing as that Snakeface Orochimaru!"
"You'd better watch what you say about my father, you insolent fox! Now, Manda! Let's take out those toads! I'll even let you eat the opponents, just not the ones watching us!"
"The ones in the arena you mean? Eh, they'll do for a meal."
"What? Are you crazy? That thing'll eat everything and everyone except snake summoners!"
"No, I won't! I'm the summoning, she's the mistress!
"I don't trust you, you blasted snake!"
"Knock it off, Manda-san! Let's go!"
"I can't believe they both summoned like that. If it were Gamabunta, I could see Naruto having a chance against Manda, but those two don't stand a chance!"
"Geez, Tsunade, way to support your student's teammate. He beat Kabuto with the Rasengan in the Sannin Showdown, if you will, and you'd said he wouldn't be able to do it in a week."
"He had used a doppelganger to pull it off! It shouldn't have counted!"
"Shutup, you raised a miniature Tsunade out of Sakura, just like I did Naruto. Most likely, Sasuke will turn out like Orochimaru and so will Renate."
"Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama, who's winning?"
"Sakura, Hinata! Join us!"
"Sit by me girls, you shouldn't trust this idiot unless he's three feet away from you. Or unless you pummel him into submission."
"Um… o-okay"
"Come on, Naruto! Beat that witch to a pulp!"
"Jiraiya, shame on you! Your own neice, and you call her a witch and tell Naruto to pummel her!
"What? How is she related to you two, Tsunade-sama?"
"Well, Sakura, it turns out that the three Sannin married three siblings. I married the oldest, who just so happens to be the only boy of three children. Jiraiya married the older sister, or middle child. Orochimaru married the youngest one."
"Who was married first?"
"Orochimaru, then me, then Jiriaya."
"Don't talk about me as if I'm not here!"
"Shutup Jiraiya!"
"Make me! Holy cow, what'd she do to Naruto?"
"Beats me, but man did she get him good!"
"Serves you right for not paying attention."
"Kabuto-san!"
"Sakura. She just used a snake technique to KO both toads, and unfortunately, by the looks of it, Naruto-kun summoned again as the jutsu was unfolding."
"Which toad is it this time, Jiraiya-sama?"
"Gamabunta. You don't know any of them, do you Hinata?"
"I know the yellow one saved me from the Crystal style user."
"Speaking of which, do you know what happened to her, Kabuto-san?"
"Oh, sure, leave me out of the conversation."
"Then get the hell outta here, Jiraiya-baka. It's my wife's match you're watching, so get out. I wanna sit."
"Fine! Little Snakegut…"
"I'd watch your back if I were you. You know how Renate gets when you get her miffed."
"The winner is Sheika, Renate, due to Naruto's inability to continue!"
"Wow, she won!"
"That's Renate for you. She'll do anything and everything to win. Except give her own life or the life of a family member."
"Wow. That's intense."
"You're telling me, Sakura. I'm just surprised she didn't blow the place up more."
"Well, Renate-chan did ruin the tree."
"That's true Hinata."
"Naze dattebayo…"
"Gomenasai, Naruto-kun. Demo… you did do your best. I'll tell ya your dad's secret later."
"Oh…kay?"
"Sigh… boys. Can't live with them, but you can't reproduce without them. The exception to the first half of that saying is your sons, and your father. Your hubby is the exception to the whole thing."
"No kidding. Hey, someone said you two had a mental disorder, Kabuto-san. Is it true?"
"Yeah. I've got a kind of split personality, half docile, half phsyco and Renate's got a medium Bipolar."
"Wait, Bipolar, as in, insane mood swings?"
"That's the one. But somehow, she can keep it in check, and when she doesn't, I can control her. I don't know how. We just do."
"Wow. That's crazy."
"Yeah, but it's fun and worth it."
"Where's Naruto-kun?"
"Hi, Senpai! He's with Tsunade." "Hi, dad. He's with Aunt Tsunade."
"Alright. If you see him tell him to meet me in my office when he can."
"Ok! OMN! I just realized I forgot to do something I'd planned to do on the day of my wedding!"
"What? What'd you forget?"
"To put the wedding dress on the flagpole."
"You're crazy! Kageskage-sama won't stand for it!"
"Dad won't give a crap! Come on!"
Three hours later, all of Kagegakure were looking at the flagpole with very amused expressions. Renate had hung not only her wedding dress, but Sasuke's favorite Uchiha embalmed boxer shorts as well. Unfortunately for Sasuke, he took all the blame and was forced to do A rank missions for D rank missions' pay for two months as his punishment.
Natsuhiboshi is from the filler episodes of Naruto when Subaru is looking back on his life as a Hoshigakure ninja.