Snake Hatchling's Obsessions Chapter 6: Finding Losings, a naruto fanfic

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! Iwill do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's. So far, the OC's are Renate, her kids, most of her students, and about 75% of the new recruits she's done.

It's November and the Chunin Exams have been over for a month. All of the genin that participated in the final rounds became Chunin and Kagegakure is beginning to recover from the attack in July, and prosper. After Pein's attack in July, Konoha and Otogakure have merged and even though Konoha was bigger originally, Otogakure ended up with the most survivors. Right after the war Konoha and Otogakure merged, keeping Otogakure's traditions but moving into Konoha's village. Orochimaru has sent Sasuke to look for Renate.

"Renate-sama!"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Orochimaru-sama wanted to see you. You, too, Kabuto."

"Tell him we're on our way.

"Will do." Sasuke runs to Orochimaru, who is in his office assigning ninjas missions to get them out of his hair and to give them something to do.

"You wanted to see us, Orochimaru-san?"

"Yes, I did, Renate. I'm assigning you and Kabuto a S-rank mission to the Land of Lakes. You'll be in charge of protecting a young boy who is being abused by his parents. They are in very high social status in the village, so he is ignored by everyone in town due to his parents' influence. Be careful - he is the one that hired you, even though his parents told him to hire us to make sure nobody touches him. Do not touch him, but make sure he is safe."

"How does that qualify this to be a S-rank mission?"

"His parents also want to make sure that they are safe from his kekke genkai. Your client's biological father was killed by his mother and he is afraid that his mother will do the same to him. His kekke genkai is that he can control animals to do his bidding. His mother has somehow managed to ignore his kekke genkai after he became a toddler. Like I said, he can control animals, so be careful. His mother sent a note with him and according to the note, he controlled animals throughout his childhood to get food, even when he was an infant. Do not let him hurt anyone, and do not let anyone hurt him. Now, go."

"Hai!"

Two weeks later Renate and Kabuto arrive in the Land of Lakes. They soon run into a wolf and the wolf starts running between them and the peak of a hill in their path. Kabuto is wary and is fearful that the wolf has rabies, but Renate notices the wolf's size and realizes that it is pregnant.

"Kabuto, calm down. By the looks of her, she's expecting pups. I think she wants us to follow her."

"I'm not following some wolf only to have to fight with its pack."

"Remember what dad said? Our client can control animals with his kekke genkai. If it makes you feel better, I'm gonna try to get some info out of the wolf. Here, girl."

"Sigh…you trust animals too much. Not all of them are going to help us. Not all animals are harmless. Remember, this could be a summoning."

"Hey, girl. Do you know a boy that is being hurt by his parents?" The wolf wags her tail and barks. "Look, Kabuto! She knows our client! I think we should call her Kima. We can't just keep calling her 'wolf, she' and 'girl'. You recognize the things he said about us, don't you Kima?" Another bark from the wolf and this time she starts licking Renate's hand.

"Fine. I'll let you do the talking. I'm not touching the wolf. You never know where their tongues have been. Hey!" Kabuto protests Kima getting up on her hind feet and licking his face.

"Can you lead us to our client, please, Kima-chan?" Another bark in agreement and Kima runs off with Renate close behind her.

"Hey! Wait up! Renate!"

A few hours later they reach their destination. Still looking for their client and his abusive family, they see a boy being yelled at on the street.

"You little freak! Why don't you just die like your father did? Your mother should have killed you as soon as you came out of her womb!"

"Hey! Leave him alone!"

"Renate, stay out of this. It's not a part of the mission."

"This might be our client. Remember, everyone in his village wants him dead but are too scared of his kekke genkai to do anything about it."

"You little brat. I'll kill you if it's the last thing I do."

"I said leave him alone! Get away from him before I beat the tar out of you!"

"You can't even hit me! Girls in this country aren't allowed to hit anyone unless they're fighting another girl!"

"Good thing I'm not from this country, then! Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Six doppelgangers appeared and four of them formed a diamond around the boy. The other two prepared to use the rasengan while the real Renate prepared to summon. "Rasengan!" The rasengan hit a food stand and destroyed it, along with its contents. This terrified some of the people in the crowd of onlookers and there were yells of "Ninja! Run for your lives!" all throughout. The original Renate yells "Kuchiyose no jutsu!" and with this, a giant snake appeared, coiled loosely around her body. "Still want to mess with me now, cowards?"

"Yaaah! Girls can be ninjas! Run before she kills us all!" with that yell from the boy's tormentor, the crow fled from her presence. As soon as everyone was off of the streets Renate made her doppelgangers vanish.

"Hahahahahah. That got them to leave. You okay, kid?"

"Yes. Ma'am."

"The name's Renate, and this is my husband, Kabuto."

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Renate-sama, Kabuto-sama. By the looks of things you met my messenger wolf."

"You're our client?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm Mizura. The wolf I sent you fed me all throughout my childhood, so I pretty much became like a part of her pack and one of her pups. I stay with her whenever my real mom or step dad get mad at me. Did Kageskage-sama tell you everything I said?"

"Yes, dad explained everything. He even told us about your kekke genkai to control animals. We're on strict orders to touch nobody, so it's gonna be kind of difficult to go through with this mission. Well, actually I think we just violated that rule but dad never said about hurting people before we met you. Is there a lake without animals nearby?"

"All lakes in the country have animals, but there is one that has only small wildlife in it. Will that work?"

"Yes, so long as the village thinks you're dead."

"Huh?"

"We're going to fake your death. It's the quickest and easiest way to get you out of this place."

"Have you gone barking mad, Renate? We can't fake his death. He's our client! Senpai said not to let anyone hurt him!" Kabuto protested.

"Yes, but the village hired us to kill him. We drown him, the village thinks he's dead. We use CPR once we fish him out of the water and there you go! One unharmed client, his village thinks he's dead, and Kagegakure gets another ninja! It's a triple win situation!"

"Oh, I see what you're saying. If the village thinks I'm dead, then they'll still pay you. While you're telling the village I'm dead, Kabuto-san is getting me out of the water. You carry me outside the country and let me recover. Then when we get to your ninja village, you train me to become a ninja."

"Yes and no. I've been thinking, and they'll suspect we didn't kill you. We're going to tie you up and put you in a bag. Then we'll let them drown you, that way they know for a fact that you're dead. When everyone leaves, we fish you out. We'll give you a device that lets you breathe underwater for a few minutes."

"Sounds like a plan to me. What do you think, Mizura?"

"Okay. I don't care what the plan is so long as it gets me out of here."

Later that night Mizura's parents were in their room plotting his death.

"We have to kill him without those ninjas we hired knowing it until it's too late. We were wrong to hire them. They act like they've come to protect him, even though they're supposed to help kill him. Do you think we should tell them their mistake, or will the girl attack like she did in the market today?"

"We should tell them. After all, we are their employers for the assignment."

"Good point. We'll tell them in the morning. If we wake them up we'll only risk an attack."

While Kabuto is spying on Mizura's parents Renate is taking care of Mizura.

"You want to hear a lullaby, Mizura?"

"Yes, please. I've never heard a lullaby before."

"Natsuhiboshi naze akai! Yuube kanashii yume wo mita Naite hanashita. Akai meyo. Natsuhiboshi naze mayou? Kieta warashi wo sagashiteru. Dakara kanashii yume wo miru." When Renate had finished Mizura was fast asleep and she joined Kabuto in the guest bedroom.

"Renate, we have to go through with our plan within the next week. You know, the one where we tie Mizura up."

"Nanii? Doshite?"

"Yes we have to do our plan. To answer your 'doshite', it's because his parents were plotting it tonight."

"So we pretty much wait for them to attack him, then when he uses his kekke genkai, we fend off the animals?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Wow. Night, Kabuto-kun."

"Night, Renate-chan," Kabuto said as she curled up next to him.

The next day Mizura's parents caught Renate and Kabuto as they were coming downstairs for breakfast.

"We need to talk."

"You want us to help kill Mizura, don't you?"

"How did you know?"

"It's not that hard to figure out. 1) Everyone has been treating him like he was a demon 2) he can control animals and 3)Kabuto-kun heard you talk about it last night when he was out in the yard looking at the stars."

"Ah. Well, then you know the plan?"

"You attack him while we keep the animals that he is controlling at bay."

"Right. Okay, let's go through with the plan at oh, say, noon?"

"Noon it is."

"Natsuhiboshi naze akai! Yuube kanashii yume wo mita Naite hanashita. Akai meyo. Renate. Kasama! Natsuhiboshi naze mayou? Kieta warashi wo sagashiteru. Dakara kanashii yume wo miru.

Renate. Mother. Natsuhiboshi, why are you so red? Because I had a sad dream last night. My eyes are red from the tears I shed. Swollen as I cry. Renate. Mother! Natsuhiboshi, why've you lost your way? I'm searching for a child who's gone afar. She can't be found though I search all day. My sad dreams come once more.

"Ich träume jede Nacht von dem hellen Stern der oben am Himmel steht und über mich wacht. Er tröstet mich immer wie der beste Freund, wenn dich etwas traurig macht. Ich habe meine Eltern so lange nicht gesehn. Du weißt doch wo sie sind, bitte führe mich dorthin. Ich laufe für sie bis ans Ende der Welt, bis ich endlich bei ihnen bin."

"Wow. That sounded beautiful Kabuto-san, Renate-san. I can call you Renate-san, can't I?"

"I don't know; can you?"

"May I?"

"Yes, you may."

"Do you sing other songs in Japanese?"

"Mi jika ni arumono Tsune ni ki wo tsukegeinai to Amari ni chikasugite Miushinatteshimaisou Anata ga saikin taken shita Shiawase wa nan desu ka? Megumaresugiteite Omoidasenai kamo Ima koko ni iru koto Iki wo shiteiro koto Tada sore dake no koto ga Kiseki da to kizuku Mi jika ni arumono Tsune ni ki wo tsukegeinai to Amari ni chikasugite Miushinatteshimaisou You know the closer you get to something The tougher it is to see it And I'll never take it for grantedoitsuzuketekita yume Akiramezuni susume yo nante Kirei koto wo ieru hodo Nanimo tekichainai kedo Hitonigiri no yuuki wo mune ni Ashita wo ikinuku tame ni And I'll never take it for granted Let's go!"

"Was that the fourth theme song of -?" Kabuto began.

"Ossu!" Renate said with her mouth full of food.

"Wow. I didn't know you even had that one memorized."

"Can I get you two to do me a favor?" Mizura's mother suddenly asked.

"Well, since you're one of our clients, of course."

"Can you two keep all animals away from him while his class is on a field trip at a lake nearby? I don't want Mizura to get hurt while they're there."

"Okay," Renate agreed, with her mouth still full of food.

Six hours later Renate and Kabuto wake up in their guest bed.

"Oh, crap! She must have put a sleeping drug in our food this morning! What are we going to do?"

"We go to the field trip, that's what we do. Come on, Renate."

When they get there they realize the group has gone to the other side of the lake to swim.

"Let's stay here. Mizura's parents said to keep our distance," Renate reminded.

"Look, they're leaving. Let's go to the other side of the lake. I saw some kids rough housing with each other."

"Good idea."

"Well, they most certainly left a lot of food for the fish."

"Hey, what's that?" Renate says pointing to two shadows in the water.

"Oh my gosh! There's kids down there! You get Mizura, he's smaller and closer to the surface! I'll get the girl!" They swim to the bottom of the lake and rescue the children, resurfacing within the minute. The children cough up water and Renate and Kabuto get them into the forest for shelter.

"Are you all right? Mizura?"

"They did this. Our classmates tried to drown us."

"If you…if you hadn't saved us from the bottom of the lake, we'd be dead. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Speaking of which, what's your name?"

"She means you."

"You're the outcast. But, if you insist… My name's Shinobu."

"Renate, get them out of here while I go tell the village that Mizura and Shinobu are dead."

"All right. Have it your way."

"Thanks, love."

While Kabuto is going to Mizura's village, Renate meets a strange girl who looks like she has been wandering lost for weeks.

"Um…could you tell me where I can find Kabuto Yakushi?"

"That depends. If you'll come with me you can meet him. We're on a ninja mission to save these this little boy from his abusive village."

"How well do you know him?"

"Well I should know everything there is about him - he's my husband."

"Here, let me help you with the younger one."

"Arigato gozaimasu. Ah! We didn't introduce ourselves! Renate Sheika, Kabuto's wife and mother of his soon to be eleven children."

"Eleven? You have ten kids already?"

"Yeah, but we've been married since we were fourteen and fifteen."

"I'm Arare, Kabuto's younger sister. I have no relationships, except for the one with my parents."

"Wow. No friends at all?"

"No. Didn't want to bother with all the trouble it is to make and keep them."

"Nice. Wonder if your parents know about you being alive. We should probably get the three of you to Kagegakure."

"Three of us? Kagegakure?"

"Yes the three of you. You, Shinobu and Mizura. Kagegakure is our ninja village. My dad's the Kageskage, and to top it off he defeated the leader of Akatsuki when Jiraiya, one of his sannin teammates, couldn't."

"Wow, your dad must be Orochimaru-sama then. He's very famous – well, infamous – in the village I was raised in. You'd be surprised at how much my parents regretted not checking on Kabuto nii-san. Dad said that he regretted not carrying him when he was whining that his feet were hurting. Mom had said that she wished that I were born a week earlier so dad could carry me while she carried nii-san. I wanted them to know that he was alive. Just to make them happy and not worry about him."

"Wow. You know you could hire me and Kabuto and give us the mission of escorting your parents to a different village."

"That's a good idea. But mom and dad think I'm dead, too. You see, I ran away to find nii-san."

"Well then, just have us escort you to them; or you could have us escort someone to your parents."

"Mom did say that she missed her sister as much as she missed nii-san."

"Well then, it's settled. We pick up your aunt, we take you, her, and Kabuto to your parents and everyone's happy."

"Good idea, Renate-chan."

"Kabuto? Yakushi, Kabuto?"

"Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?"

"You…you're Kabuto Yakushi?"

"Kabuto Sheika, but yeah, that's me."

"Oh, thank heavens I found you! Mom and dad wouldn't stop talking about you!"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You're my brother. Mom and dad had run from the battle all those years ago. They were afraid the kumonin had killed you or taken you in and raised you to hate everyone outside Kumogakure. Konohagakure had driven them out just as the kumonin were moving on to the village that mom and dad were hiding in."

"Konoha was the village that rescued me. If mom and dad wouldn't stop talking about me, then why are you here?"

"To find you and take you to them. I want to see them smiling again. They haven't been smiling lately because they think that by now they would be grandparents."

"Are you kidding me? They've been grandparents for ten years now."

"I know. Renate-san told me."

"Did you contact Mizura's and Shinobu's parents to tell them that their children were dead?"

"Yes, I did. The four of them couldn't stop crying. Mizura's parents were crying with joy, mind you, but they still couldn't stop crying."

"Wonder how Tsunade is doing?"

"Which Tsunade? Your aunt or her granddaughter?"

"Both. I hope the sannin are doing a good job at raising her. After all, she is a toddler."

"Hey, what's one of Tsunade's lullabies?"

"Well, I don't know any of Tunade-sama's lullabies, but I do know Natsuhi-san's lullaby in three languages."

"Would you sing it for me, please? Excuse me; Us? Mizura, Shinobu and me, that is."

"Which language?"

"One that isn't English or Japanese."

"Hey, morons!" called a new voice.

"Sasuke! What brings you here?"

"Seeing that you get back from your mission without hurting anybody and seeing how many people you took in, you've actually managed to succeed halfway."

"Weren't the orders to protect him and the villagers? If we get him out of there, then they don't get hurt and neither does he. It's a triple win situation," Kabuto repremanded.

"What are some of the Christmas songs in Kagegakure?"

"Me and Kabuto could sing one the songs from A Christmas Carol for you. I would be Robert and he would be Jacob. We'll have our doppelgangers transformed into child selves be the ghosts, while Sasuke is Scrooge. Just for kicks and giggles. Do you want us to?"

"Yes, please. I think it would be very fun."

"Very well. Kabuto-kun."

(Key: Sp - spoken Su - sung S - Sasuke/ Scrooge R-Renate K-Kabuto Y-Transformed doppelgangers. Sp & Su will only used when switched between each other)

B: "We're Marley and Marley Averious and greed"
R: "We took advantage of the poor; Just ignored the needy"
B: "We specialized in causing pain; Spreading fear and doubt"
K: "And if you could not pay the rent, we simply threw you out!"

R: sp"There was the year we evicted the entire orphanage!"
K: "I remember the little tykes all standing in the snow bank."
R: "With their little frost-bitten teddy bears!"
B: "Hahahahah. Ooooh."

Su "We're Marley and Marley. Our hearts were painted black."
K: "We should have known our evil deeds would put us both in shackles."
B: "Captive, bound, we're double-ironed; Exhausted by the weight."
K: "As freedom comes from giving love,"
R: "So, prison comes with hate."
B: "We're Marley and Marley."
Y: "Whooooooaa!"

B: "We're Marley and Marley."
Y: "Whooooooaa!"

S: sp "But my friends, you were not unfeeling towards your fellow men."
R: "True, there was something about mankind we loved."
K: "I think it was there money!"
B: "Hahahah!"

B: su "Doomed, Scrooge! You're doomed for all time!"
R: "Your future is a horror story, written by your crime!"
B: "Your chains are forged, by what you say and do."
T: "So, have your fun when life is done, a nightmare waits for you."
S:sp "What are these terrible chains?"

B: "Ouoh! The chains!"

K: "We forged these chains in life by our acts of greed!"

R: "You wear such a chain yourself."

S: "Humbug. Speak comfort to me friends."

B: "Comfort? Uaah!

K: "You will be haunted by three spirits."

S: "Haunted? I've already had enough of that.

K: "Without these visits you cannot hope to avoid the past we did!

R: "Expect the first ghost tonight when the bell tolls one!"

S: "Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?"

R: "When the bell tolls one!"
B:su "We're Marley and Marley."
T: "Whooooooaa!"
B: "We're Marley and Marley!"
T: "Whooooooaa!"
B: "We're Marley and Marley and now its time to part."
R: "To go back where they keep our kind."
K: "The wretched and the heartless."
R: "The news we shared has got you scared!"
K: "We're glad you made it through."
R: "So make amends."
K: "And make some friends."
B: "The future's up to you! We're Marley and Marley."
T: "Whooooooaa!"
B: "We're Marley and Marley!"
T: "Whooooooaa!"
B: "We're Marley and Marley."
All: "Whooooooaa!"
B: "CHANGE!"

"Well done Renate nechan and Kabuto niisan."

"Thank you, Arare-chan."

"Who the hell?"

"My sister, you idiot Sasuke. Or should I say, Scrooge."

"I'm out of here. Later losers."

Three days later Renate and company, with the exception of Sasuke, arrive in Kagegakure.

"Arare, Mizura, Shinobu, welcome to Kagegakure."

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Renate-sama!"

"Ohayo, Kaede! What's on your back?"

"Ah! Tsunade-sama. The young one, that is."

"Here. Let me take her. After all, her grandmother is my aunt."

"Hai! Who-?"

"These are Kagegakure's newest recruits. Arare is Kabuto's younger sister, Mizura is the one riding the wolf, and Shinobu is the last one."

"Renate-sama, I've been wondering…may I become your student?"

"Of course, you may, Mizura-kun."

"May I as well Renate-sama? Seeing how you have to register in groups of three to enter the chunin exams."

"Kabuto-san, Orochimaru-sama wants you to find a rogue for him. Someone's been sneaking into ninja campsites and stealing food."

"How do you know it's not an animal?"

"We've been animal-proofing since the first incident and food is still disappearing. According to what Sasuke saw, he said they were a puppet master. They also have an accomplice, and we don't know what their abilities are yet."

"Don't worry. I'll find them."

"Kabuto-sama?"

"Yes, Shinobu?"

"May I become your apprentice? I want to be able to help at the hospital."

"Of course. What about you Arare?"

"I'm in. On being your student that is."

"All right. I'm off to find the rogues."

"Neyeh, Kabuto-kun. You take these three to dad. I'll find the rogues. Seeing how they're kids, it shouldn't be that hard."

"Ossu! Come on, let's get you three to Orochimaru-sama."

Renate found the "rogues" within the hour. However, as she suspected, they were both children. Within minutes, she had them cornered.

"Parley!"

"Ah, you know the Akatsuki code. How?"

"My father taught me. He was also the one to teach me how to use puppets."

"Sasori no Aka Suna, No?"

"Yes, that's him."

"And you? Surely you have a reason to hang out with an orphan."

"My parents hate me. My life has been nothing but torture. I heard that there was a ninja village that took in orphans with open arms and Misa-nechan heard that they the same ninja village took over Akatsuki. Since there were also rumors of them merging with one of the five great shinobi villages, so, we decided to try Konohagakure first."

"It's not Konohagakure anymore. It's Kagegakure now. You were right on your first try, which doesn't happen very often. I'll take you, but after I get you to Kageskage-sama, you're on your own."

"Hai! Arigato Gozaimasu, Kagenin-sama!

"The name's Renate, but since I'm the daughter of the village's leader, you'd still have the suffix -sama. You'd have to use the same suffix for dad, the three Sannin, and the Akatsuki members."

"Hai, Renate-sama!"

"Alright. Let's get you to dad."

Meanwhile, Kabuto decides to strike up a conversation with Shizune about her niece since he had escorted the genin to Orochimaru.

"Oi, Shizune, how is Tsunade-chan doing?"

"Which?"

"The toddler."

"Fine. We really need to get her a nickname."

"I was just about to say that."

"Maybe…Vitani?"

"I was thinking Kiara."

"That works, too. I think we should take it up with Tsunade-sama. Both of them. Just to see which one they like better."

The six of them walked in silence until they heard a familiar voice behind them.

"Kabuto-kun! Ich finde sie!"

"You found them already?"

"Yup. I'm takin' them to dad just to be safe."

"Good idea. Hey, while you're there ask Tsunade-sama about a nickname for Tsunade. Me and Shizune were thinking Vitani or Kiara."

"I like the latter, but I'll ask her."

"Ossu! Arigato, Meine Leibe!"

"You mean 'Mein Frau!'"

"Uh…Yeah, that! Mein Frau… whatever. To those people who are learning languages, German is worse than Japanese."

"I heard that!"

"Heard what?"

"German is worse than Japanese! Even if it's true, you still shouldn't be saying stuff like that, Kabuto-kun!"

"I freaking hate the german language! Your high school german teacher ruined everything fun to do with the language! Your Junior High teachers at least made it funny!"

"Yeah, I know. And so does Nii-san. What the - ?"

"Secret Jutsu: Crystal Ice Mirrors!"

"Knock it off, Haku, Ranmaru! They're with me! Zabuza, Raiga, Kisame, You too!"

"Right."

"Sorry."

"Thought they were intruders."

"Renate-sama! Sensei!"

"Nechan!"

"Aiko! Kikyo! Team Bijuu! What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to get back. We've got good news."

"It's all the same news, right, Yuukimaru-kun?"

"Hai! Where are you going Kabuto-Sensei?"

"Taking these six to Orochimaru-san. I'll be back in a bit. Don't start celebrating without me!"

"Hai! So, Sensei! How was the mission?"

"Good. As you can see, we succeeded."

"Do you think the one riding the dog will be in the Inizuka clan?"

"I wouldn't doubt it, but you never know. And it's a wolf, not a dog."

"Oh. Okay."

"Well, me, Raiga, Kisame, and our apprentices were just heading out on a mission when you walked up. Sorry about Haku attacking. We're getting the other Swordsmen of the Mist to join Kagegakure."

"Wahoo! That sounds like fun. Tell me how it goes when you get back!"

"We will. First stop: Sunagakure!"

"Why there, you idiot Raiga?"

"Rumor has it that one of the swordsmen was trying to kill the Kazekage."

"Ooh! Don't forget to tell TenTen I said Hi!"

"Who's that again?"

"Haku's twin sister and wife of the fifth Kazekage."

"Oh, right. I knew that."

"Sure you did, Kisame."

"Shutup, Zabuza."

"Hahahah! Males…"

"Okay, I'm back. You were saying, Koyuki?"

"Orochimaru-sama wants us to be ANBU!"

"Woah! No way! ANBU?"

"Yup! ANBU!"

"And to think you just became chuunin. Yikes."

"I know. So, how are you and Kabuto-sensei doing?"

"Fine. And you? After all, it's been a few years."

"Me and Mizura are going out!"

"Congrats! I always thought you two would make a good couple."

"Sensei!…"

"What? I'm just saying."

"Still."

"Oi! All students of Renate-sama are wanted for a mission! NOW!"

"Coming, Dei-san! Bye, Sensei!"

"Bye, you rascals!"

"Oi! Renate-sama! Which one of you is Renate-sama?"

"That'd be me. What can I do you for?"

"You're… Do you remember me by any chance?"

"Wait a minute…Emily? Akamaru-chan? Is that you?"

"Yeah. Crazy, huh? Turns out Kakashi-sensei found me and trained me and everything in my story came true. How about yours?"

"So far, yup."

"Wow. That's awesome!"

"I know! So, how exactly did you get here, nechan?

"Well, I ran away after you left to try to follow you, and Jiraiya-sama picked me up when I had passed out from exaustion."

"Wow. That's intense. How far did you run this time?"

"Ten miles, somehow. Then I passed out in the middle of the woods."

"Nice!"

"Sarah! Hey, Sarah!"

"Oh, good lord… anyone but HIM…"

"But who?"

"Durakula. He thinks I'M his Juliet. Comparing me to Juliet, … well, I'll tell you both at the same time. I may as well."

"Tell me what, Juliet?"

"Don't call me that you idiot! I couldn't care less if you really ARE 1/3 werewolf, 1/3 Human, & 1/3 Vampire! Only Kabuto-kun can call me that! You know why? Cuz comparing me to Juliet, Kabuto Sheika, formerly Kabuto Yakushi, is Romeo, and you, Josh, are Paris! Wait, no, scratch that! You're Tybalt, and that's final!"

"But… but … I… I mean… how… can't you just leave him?"

"Leave him? Leave the father of my children? I most certainly think NOT! You bring that up again, I'll take the Master Sword across your whole back, and I mean it!"

"Whoa, Renate, Calm down! No need to be rude!" Kabuto said as he tried to intervene.

"It's the only way he learns anything! I had to hide in the girls' bathroom for 30 minutes once cuz he wouldn't get off the subject of Werewolves, Vampires and Demons, even though I gave SEVERAL OBVIOUS HINTS TO GET OFF THE FREIKEN SUBJECT!"

"I'm sorry I never got off those subjects! I'm sorry, I really am! So, um… if your husband were to die all of a sudden -"

"No, I wouldn't marry you! I wouldn't remarry period for that matter. Like it or not, Kabuto-kun and I to each other are like Romeo and Juliet to each other! Get over that fact, or get out of my life you -"

"Renate! Calm down! I can tell you're pissed at him, but don't we have a common goal?"

"What are you talking about, Emelii?"

"Orochimaru-sama said we have a common goal! He wouldn't say it though."

"Fine! Durakula, if you follow me, I swear, I'll kill you!"

"Okay, okay! But it doesn't change the fact that I've loved you since I met you! I always have and I always will!"

"Then you might want to get over it, cuz the day I marry you is the day I end up dead, you hear me?"

"Then who am I supposed to marry?"

"I don't know, and I don't care!" Renate screamed at him as she turned tail and ran to the Kage's office. "Arrogant Racdrop, that he is. Not to mention a retard."

"You can be a jerk sometimes, you know that, Renate?"

"Yup. That's a part of life, Emelii. That's a part of life. And believe me, I can be Much worse," Renate fumed as they ran down the streets.

"You wanted to see us, Kageskage-san?"

"Yes, I did. I have a mission for you two and Ikari."

"Um… What rank is it?"

"A Rank. Someone in the other dimension wants THEM hunted down and brought to their courtrooms, and they haven't been able to catch them yet. It just so turns out that no matter how many government and/or secret agencies try to take them, the chasers always end up dead. Have fun Renate. They're bound to be guilty, so just get them there, and for good measure, Emelii, why don't you suggest them coming with us as punishment? I suggest going separate so as not to arise suspicions as to whether you are helping Renate with her goal to kill them. Oh, and just for good measure to confuse them, Ikari is going with you."

"Can I kill them if they come here? Please, dad?"

"I want to experiment on them, but once I am done, then yes, you may Renate."

"YEAH, BABY! Talk about motivation!"

"Wow, Renate… You fail already."

"Oh, and some other things to make it an A-rank mission that the teen hired us to do: Get a "Sora" who went to Fayetteville High School; go to that church for every Sunday you're there; and find your foster Siblings, Renate, and explain to them why 1) you've been gone so long and 2) why you're leaving again and possibly never coming back. All in absolute secrecy. Any questions? "

"Our lips are sealed!"

"That's my girl. Have fun you two."

"Thanks dad!"

"Thank you, Kageskage-sama!"

"Come on, Emellii! I say we sing something! Whaddaya wanna sing?"

"Nothing, right now. Maybe later. You can sing your heart out, though."

"Hey now, Hey now! Hey now, Hey now! Have you ever seen such a beautiful night? I could almost kiss the stars for shinning so bright! When I see dad smiling, I go oh Oro! I would never want to miss this coz in my heart I know what this is!

Hey now, Hey now! This is what dreams are made of! Hey now, Hey now! This is what dreams are made of! I've got somewhere I belong! I've got some Sheikas to love! This is what dreams... are made of!

Have you ever wondered what life is about? You can search the world

and never figure it out. You don't have to sail the oceans! No no no!

Happiness is no mystery! It's here and now, and you and me and...

Hey now, Hey now! This is what dreams are made of! Hey now, Hey now! This is what dreams are made of! I've got somewhere I belong! I've got some Sheikas to love! This is what dreams are made of!

Open your eyes! Shout to the sky! When I see you smiling I go Oh oh oh! Yesterday my life was duller! Now everything's Technicolor!

Hey now, Hey now! This is what dreams are made of! Hey now, Hey now! This is what dreams are made of! I've got somewhere I belong! I've got some Sheikas to love! This is what dreams are made of!"

"Wow."

"Whanna sing now?"

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, or Macarena?"

"Hmmm…. How about both in that order?"

"I like that!"

"I come home in the morning light, My mother says 'when you gonna live your life right…'

Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones! And girls, we want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have fun!

The phone rings in the middle of the night, My father yells 'what you gonna do with your life?' Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one! But Oh girls just want to have - That's all we really want! It's some fun! When the working day is done Oh, Girls - we want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have fun!

Some boys take a beautiful girl And hide her away from the rest of the world. I want to be the one to walk in the sun! Oh, girls, we want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have - That's all we really want! It's some fun! When the working day is done Oh, Girls - we want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have fun! Girls, we want… Wanna have fun, Girls. Wanna have - We just wanna, We just wanna! We just wanna, We just wanna, Girls! Girls just wanna have fun! Oh, girls! Girls just wanna have fun! When the working, When the working day is done, oh When the working day is done, oh girls! Girls just wanna have fun! We just wanna, We just wanna, Girls…"

"Awesome! Macarena time!"

"Yup! Then it's time for the Hamster Dance!"

"The what?"

"You'll see!"

"Is it a disco?"

"Ok, fine, we won't listen to it. Oh, well. That's quite the motivating fight song for me. Same with "I Like To Move It."

"Are we gonna sing Macarena?"

"Sorry. Yeah."

"When I fight they call me Macarena and the boys they say que soy Buena! They all want me, they can't have me! So they all come and fight beside me. Move with me, Chant with me, and if you're good I'll let you fight for me!

1 - Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena!

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena!

Now don't you worry bout my teammate! The boy who's clan is Uchiha! I don't want him! Can't stand him! He is no good so I ... ha ha ha ha!

Now come on, what was I supposed to do? He was out of town and his two friends were sooo fine!

Ai, Ai! Ai, Ai. Ai, Ai! Ai, Ai. Ai! Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena.

Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Ma ma ma Macarena. Hahahahahah!

Come and find me, my name is Macarena! Always at the party con las chicas que soy Buena! Come join me, fight with me and all you ninjas chant along with me.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena! Ai! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena! Ai! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena! Ai! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena! Ai! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena! Ai! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa Buena! Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena! Hey Macarena! AI!"

"That was totally wicked! Let's go again!"

"Let's not and say we did, girls. Toads, I hate that witch for what she did to you, Renate!"

"Who, Emelii, or…?

"No! Hell no! Emelii's not a witch! Not at all! And I'm not just saying that coz she's right here in front of me! Any friend of yours, Renate-chan, is a friend of mine!"

"Wow. Thanks, Ikari-san."

"Your welcome, Emelii-san."

"Sarah! You're back!"

"Yeah…"

"We missed you little sis!"

"Missed you guys too. Hey, where's-?"

"Mom & Dad? Oh, wait, they're not your parents anymore. Sorry, we forgot. The police told us when they came looking for them."

"You know?"

"Every bit. Is it true that you married Kabuto and had his kids? Sorry, just a rumor."

"No, it's ok. But, yes it's true. I married him at age 15."

"Fifteen? You sure about that?"

"Yup."

"Wow."

"Renate-sama! Renate-sama! Ich liebe dich!"

"Bakamono domo, Durakula! I told you not to follow me! Do you want to be a rogue the rest of your life?"

"Ah, Demo-"

"I don't care! You have five seconds to get out of my sight before I pull a kinmotsu jutsu on you!"

"But-"

"One."

"Renate-sama – "

"Two!"

"Waaaaah! Ich hasse dich!"

"And that, my dear foster brothers, is why Durakula-baka is a psycho stalker."

"Wasn't it me that started that whole thing?"

"Yes it was. So, how's it going? Married in the Temple yet?"

"Actually yes. But both our wives are in New York for the weekend visiting someone. It's weird, but we saw you a few years ago and you didn't know anything."

"Wait, back up. As in, amnesia for most of my life since the torture and trying to piece everything together by going places that my gut told me to go to?"

"Yeah. Exactly."

"Oh, ok. You know what I hated about Sundays?"

"What, sis?"

"Not being allowed to get on the Internet."

"So, you going back to the ninja world?"

"As soon as I'm done with this mission. Well, I say 'I', I mean 'we.'"

"We?"

"Yeah. Me, Emelii-chan, and Ikari-chan. Don't tell anyone that you two saw me. Otherwise, they'll come after me. When in reality, I've been hired to catch them for the police."

"Are you saying mom and dad never did time for what they did to you?"

"Yeah. That's why I'm here."

"Nice. So, are you going to come back?"

"Probably not. But you know two know what?"

"What?"

"You two were the best foster brothers I could have asked for, even if I didn't show it."

"Wow. Thanks, sis."

"You're welcome. Oh, cell phone. You mind, guys?"

"No." "Sure."

"Thanks. Mochi mochi."

After Renate is done with her phone call her foster brothers bring back a sibling game. They turn on one of the songs on her old I-pod.

"I remember this song. What's it called? T.N.T. for the Brain?"

"After twelve and a half years, you still remember this song?"

"You've gotta remember, Sam, this was one of my favorites. It always reminded me of Orochimaru-sensei and Kabuto-kun whenever I listened to it. Well, unless she was playing some cruddy song on her stupid piano."

"It wasn't that bad."

"It was for me. I was always trying to concentrate when she'd start playing it. It would always interrupt all thoughts and concentration for me. I'd crank my music up to max volume just to drown her out, the bakamono yerou."

"Do you even know what you're saying?"

"Yes, Joe, I do. You guys don't want to know."

"Right. So what was that phone call about earlier?"

"Ikari telling me that she had managed to catch her."

"You never say mom's name. Or even call her 'mom' for that matter."

"I see no need to. She didn't re-earn that respect after the spiders. Besides that, my biological mother is dead. Well, it's time for me to be going."

"Bye, Renate."

"Bye, Sam, Joe. LYLTBs."

"LYLAS."

Two days later, we find Renate with Ikari & Emelii.

"So how'd you do? Ikari? Emelii?"

"I managed with those two. I didn't like it, but it was tolerable. I had to threaten them to be fully free, but I managed. How 'bout you, Ikari?"

"That couple is at war with Renate-san's yin half, ironically enough, Emelii. Renate?"

"Foster brothers were as good as ever."

"That bad, huh?"

"Actually, they treated me just like they would have their biological sister. If they had one, that is. Turns out, those two adopted me in the hopes of replacing her. But, that was just the cover story."

"So what really happened?"

"Their sister's soul was sealed inside mine. So when Sasuke used his soul-splitting jutsu, he actually fixed the problem of the yin and yang battle in my head."

"Lovely. So, what are we gonna do with them now? Hang them by their thumbs? Feed them to a snake? Give them to Kabuto-san for experiments?"

"As much as I would like to do that last one, Ikari one-chan, we have to give them to dad. It's his decision, not ours."

"Right. I knew that."

"Let's go then! Sorry, Renate. Forgot that you're in charge."

"It's fine, Emelii. Let's go."

"Renate!"

"What now?"

"It's fine, Ikari. You two go on ahead. Tell dad I stayed behind to take care of some unfinished business with an old colleague of mine."

"Okay. See you later."

"Renate! You're alive!"

"Well, duh, I'm alive, Durakula. Otherwise, I wouldn't be in front of you. Now, goodbye."

"But, Renate-sama, what about Lonnie? And Nate? And Sora?"

"Nate and Sora, yes. Lonnie, maybe. But you need to leave me the hell alone!"

"But-"

"No 'buts' I'm sick of you! I liked you till you made me have a nervous breakdown. Goodbye. I sincerely hope we don't cross paths again."

"Wait! Please don't go! Renate-sama!"

Josh continued to call and beg after her. She was soon reunited with Sasuke, Orochimaru and Kabuto. Orochimaru knew that Renate had seen Durakula when he hugged her. Of course, he came up with the fastest way to calm her down.

"All right you Jonin! Ready to sing the new version of your song?"

"I'll say we are!"

"Yeah! Let's sing it now!"

"Alright, Sasuke?"

"Alright!"

"Alright, Kabuto?"

"Alright!"

"Alright, Renate? Renate? RENATE!"

"OH YEAH!"

"Christmas, Christmas time is near! Time for toys and time for cheer! We've been good, but we can't last! Hurry Christmas, hurry past! Want a plane that loops the loop!"

"Me, I want a hula hoop!"

"We can hardly stand the wait! Please Christmas, don't be late."

"Hey, hey! Ohhhh, come on!"

"Guys, that was excellent. Sasuke, great work."

"Naturally."

"Kabuto, good job."

"Hahahahah."

"Renate, you were a little flat, watch it. Renate? RENATE!"

"2, 3, 4!"

"Christmas, Christmas time is near! Time for toys and time for cheer! We've been good, but we can't last! Hurry Christmas, hurry past! Want a plane that loops the loop!"

"I still want a hula hoop!"

"We can hardly stand the wait! Please Christmas, don't be late. We can hardly stand the wait! Please Christmas, don't be late. Don't be late! Don't be late!Don't be late!Don't be late!"

"Christmas, don't be late!"

"Sigh… that makes me feel so much better. Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome. Did you have fun on the mission? Aside from the fool."

"Yes, actually I did. Oh, crap! I never found Sora-senpai!"

"It's fine. Ikari found him while Emelii got information on that couple. As for having fun, good. Ready for another mission?"

"Um, actually, I think I'd like to take some time off, if you know what I mean."

"Durakula?"

"Actually no."

"What? Oh, oh. Really?"

"Yeah."

"You two should quit after this one. You've done your jobs. Let your half siblings pick up the slack."

"Yeah, but what if Orochikage, Orochigaara, Kaelii, Shinigami, and Hebimaru don't pick up the slack?"

"That's not for you to worry about, Renate."

"Okay."

"Well, we'd best be getting back. Wonder how Tsunade's doing as the temporary Kageskage."

"Probably the same as she was as the Fifth Hokage."

"I wouldn't doubt it for a second."

"I'm thinking about making more curse marks."

"Have fun with that."

"I will."

Sure enough, we find Renate in the hospital six months later. This time she has given birth to an underweight daughter who has been moved to the infant unit of the hospital. She has made more curse marks and a graph of which marks are which in her free time.

"Okay, that's it! I've had it with you, Renate!"

"Huh?"

"You still haven't stopped! I'm afraid I'll have to tie your ovaries."

"Are you nuts? I can still have kids."

"That's just it. There's too much of an age gap between your oldest and your youngest. A dozen years to be precise. Not to be rude Renate, but you've got me kind of worried. Even the Jonin are worried. Kurenai especially."

"Don't worry! I'll be fine! Besides that, if you're gonna make it to where I can't have kids, then you may as well take it completely away, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, I know what you mean, but no, I'm not going to go that far. You can have Kabuto do that if you want."

"Hmpf! Fine!"

A few days after Renate left the hospital, she was sent out on a mission.

"Ah, this is the life! Eleven kids, five half-siblings, one sister-in-law, a village leader for a father, and no relation to Uchihas at all!"

"You forgot 'and a husband who loves you.'"

"Yes, I did. Love you, too, Kabuto-kun. Is Arare coming or not?"

"She's coming. Give her a second."

"Okay, I'm ready, nii-san. What's the mission?"

"The mission, Arare, is to escort our aunt to our parents. Any objections?"

"Nope." "I'm good."

"Good. Let's go."

They'd been able to get there with no problems, which probably came as the result of Renate having a giant snake wound loosely around her body most of the trip. Snakes most likely meant Sheikah, and nobody from a small village wanted to mess with Sheikahs if they could avoid it, or unless they were in a group.

"Arare! You're alive! Oh, baby, we've been so worried!" A woman cried as the trio approached the house.

"Mom, I'm twenty five, I'm not a little kid anymore!"

"You're right. You should be married with kids."

"You mean like Kabuto nii-san?"

"Yes, exactly. Wait – What did you just say?"

"You mean like Kabuto nii-san?"

"Arare, Kabuto is dead. You know that."

"Actually, mom, he's alive. And is married with eleven kids."

"I don't know who you are or what you've done to my daughter, but get out!"

"Actually, mom, she's telling the truth," Kabuto said stepping through the doorway.

"Kabuto? Is it really you?"

"Yes, mom it's me."

"Oh, thank heavens you're alive! Your father will be so happy when he gets home! He's out seeing if there's any trace of you two."

"Well, we can see how that's going, eh, Kabuto-kun?"

"Who are you?"

"It's okay, mom. This is my wife, Renate-chan. Renate-chan, my mom."

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Hi. Then you are also the mother to all eleven of his children Arare mentioned earlier, no?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Men have been known to cheat in my family."

"Not in ours. Not unless they want to get punished by my dad."

"Speaking of Orochimaru-senpai, didn't he-?"

"That's different. For dad, it was either that, or kill innocent people for a living. No thanks to Akatsuki."

"Wait, Orochimaru, as in the serpent sannin? Or the leader of Kagegakure?"

"He's both, mom."

"I'm just checking, Arare."

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing with my wife?"

"Oh, wow. Dad's as short tempered as ever."

"Now, now, sissy, no need to be rude. Even if you are kinda right," Kabuto reprimanded. He remembers all the times his father yelled at him and shudders.

"You ok, Kabuto-kun?"

"Fine, Renate. Just remembering things long forgotten. Unlike you and – what?"

"Nothing."

"I'll ask this one more time, who are you and what are you doing with my wife?"

"Don't you recognize us? Me?"

"I'm no fool, Arare. I know who you are. It's the strangers you brought home I'm asking."

"You honestly don't recognize me at all?"

"No. Why should I?"

"You'd think a father would recognize his own child. Geez."

"Renate-chan!"

"What? It's true! At least my dad can recognize his kids, even when he's never met them before."

"Kabuto? Is it really you?"

"Yes, it's me, dad."

"Oh my gosh, I had no idea… where have you been? Your mother and I had been searching for ten years before we decided to keep a closer eye on Arare! We didn't want anything to happen to her, what with you being gone and all."

"I've been in Konohagakure and Otogakure. I was a sound spy before they merged into Kagegakure. Oh, right. Dad, my wife. Renate-chan, dad."

"Welcome to the family."

"Thank you."

"Well, we can officially RIP now."

"But, dad – "

"No buts Kabuto. Your mother and I have decided that the only thing on our bucket list was to see if you were alive or not. That and Arare were all that mattered to us. Go back to Kagegakure and live your life like you never met us, son. Arare, go with him. I get the feeling you'll meet a nice young man there who's been waiting patiently for a wife."

"Yes, father."

"Kabuto, I want you to give him my blessing in my place. If he meets excpectations, that is."

"Yes, sir."

"Renate, all I ask of you is that you raise my grandchildren well. I can already tell that you and Kabuto were made for each other."

"Yes, sir."

There is a surprise waiting when the trio gets back to Kagegakure.

"Yakushi Arare; Sheikas Kabuto & Renate; Uchihas Ikari, Itachi, and Sasuke; Haruno, Sakura; Hyuuga's Hinata and Neji. This mission is A ranked. The nine of you are going to have to work together as best you can. Itachi, Kabuto, and Arare, you three are going to be with me. The, uh… presiding authorities over uh, them is being very lenient and has decided that we can keep them if we can catch them."

"There's a catch, isn't there dad?"

"Yes, Renate, there is. Renate, Ikari, Sasuke, and Sakura, you four are going to have to go to the schools and behave yourselves - like you would to another teacher like Kakashi. Do we have a deal with them?"

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama!"

"Alright then. Next stop, Renate and Ikari's School!"

Song one: Natsuhiboshi, off of a Naruto filler episode. Translated into English and Japanese later

Song Two: Fourth Opening theme of Naruto Shippuden

Song Three: Marley and Marley, off of the Muppet Christmas Carol

Song Four: Christmas Don't Be Late, by Alvin & the Chipmunks

Anyhow, I was running out of ideas, so it'll end this next chapter.