A/N: Kind of a silly chapter but Mr. Jenson steals this chapter for me. (I think I heart him almost as much as I do Richard) I hope people aren't too annoyed with my portrayal of Lizzy. I'm not sure I'm good at writing her. She's too...normal...for me and for whatever reason the main character of a story always annoys me, even though I like the story. But anyway, the scene popped in my head and I thought "why not?" Anyway guys, review and let me know what you think. I think it's as good as it's going to get.
January dragged on as a very dreary month for Mary. She spent it in very much the same state she spent December in after she had discovered Mr. Collins engagement to Miss Lucas. Elizabeth was preoccupied with whatever she found herself to be preoccupied with and her father spent most his time in his study. They both had too much on their minds, and her mother, Kitty, and Lydia had too little on their minds to notice the odd state Mary had been. Perhaps, however, since she spent most of her time in her room as was her custom they had not detected a change in Mary. Her only confidant was her good friend, Mr. Singleton. Mr. Singleton enjoyed talking to Mary and was genuinely concerned for his dear friend but he had a significant amount of anguish whenever she brought up Mr. Collins. And the more distraught Mary felt the more distraught Mr. Singleton became. Mr. Singleton's trouble went unnoticed by Mary who was lost in the misery of losing her dear Mr. Collins.
One dreary day near the end of January proved to be exceedingly dull to Elizabeth Bennet. Her favorite sister Jane had gone off to London and her dear friend Charlotte was now living in Hunsford with her charming husband. Her father was busy and her mother and two youngest sisters were too silly to spend much time with. She was meandering through the house when she heard a cough from Mary's bedroom. To Elizabeth Mary was a dull creature, lacking in wit and sense, but she was possibly the most tolerable female, other than herself, left in the house. She decided that, perhaps, it would be as good a time as any to attempt some sort of bond with her. If not, however, Mary could not be so dull as to increase the boredom poor Elizabeth was already struggling to overcome. Elizabeth knocked on Mary's door.
"Yes," Mary's irritated voice wafted through the door. Elizabeth opened the door to Mary's room and stepped inside. Mary, sitting at her desk with a book, quill, and paper, gave her sister a questioning look.
"Hello Mary, how are you?" Elizabeth said as she invited herself to sit on Mary's bed. Mary raised her eyebrows. Was it possible? Did someone actually notice her depressed countenance?
"I-I'm alright. How are you?" Mary asked tentatively.
"Alright." Elizabeth said staring around Mary's room.
Mary's room was very dull to her. It was scattered with tedious tomes, music books, papers, and quills. The grey walls were devoid of any pictures, and the bedspread was grey as well. Her cluttered furniture consisted of a bed, a desk, a disorganized bookshelf, a dresser storing more books than clothes, and a vanity that served more as a second desk than its intended purpose. It was in such disarray that there was even a coat unceremoniously thrown over her mirror. Perhaps such a state was beneficial, however, because it seemed to lessen the dullness of the overall room.
Mary rolled her eyes at her elder sister's scrutiny of the room. Lizzy was merely bored. Of course, with Jane and that...other woman gone there weren't very many people around who could entertain Lizzy's highly intelligent brain. Seems she practically had to scrape to the bottom of the barrel for a discussion partner.
"Mary, I do think it's time to straighten this room a little." Elizabeth said.
"Thank you for the advice, mother, but no one asked you to come in here." Mary thought.
"Though cleanliness may be next to godliness it must be abandoned when it becomes a hindrance to more important activities." Mary said, turning back to her desk and dipping her quill in ink.
Elizabeth laughed.
"Though it would take a while to clean, it wouldn't take more than two hours. You would have the rest of the day to read as you please."
"Yes, but it is keeping it that way that is the problem. I can use ten books in one sitting and by the end of the day the atmosphere in here would not be much different than it was before I straightened it. It would be a fruitless effort." Mary said.
"Mary, there is more to life than reading books and piano playing."
Mary huffed. It was such a wonderful event when one decided to intrude on another's space and lecture them on how to live their life. Of course, Mary did this to other people but they needed it and this was her room after all. Mary chose to be silent, hoping Elizabeth would change the subject, or better yet, leave. Luckily for Mary, Elizabeth was an intelligent young lady, for though she did not exit the room she did chose a different topic. Or perhaps it was unlucky for Mary for the topic Lizzy chose to discuss was less preferential than the previous one.
"I cannot wait to see Charlotte. I do miss her and conversing with her in person." Lizzy said, referring to her upcoming visit to Hunsford to see Charlotte.
"Yes, and that way you can escape your current silly discussion partner and engage in highly enlightening conversation with that man-stealing, home wrecking-" Mary thought.
"I'm not very excited about seeing that husband of hers, however." Elizabeth laughed and gave Mary a pointed smile. "You know how dull he is."
Mary gave her oblivious sister an annoyed look.
"Yes, well..." Mary said irritably.
"I don't understand how she could marry that man. He's so...well, you know."
"Do I?" Mary said. "Why must she talk about this?" she thought.
"Although I suppose he wasn't her first choice. Can you imagine what kind of a girl would ENJOY marrying Mr. Collins? She'd have to be really silly and probably very dull."
Mary could bear it no longer. This conversation was not only bringing her unhappy thoughts but was irritating her as well.
"Elizabeth, please." she said, giving Elizabeth a pointed look. Elizabeth stopped talking and looked at Mary in astonishment. She was not used to being talked to like that, at least not by her sisters.
"Well pardon me." Elizabeth said defensively. She walked out of the room quite flustered. Mary smirked at her sister's retreating figure. It felt good to say that to her for once, instead of it being the other way around.
"Papa, you must tell Mary to break away from those books once in a while." She heard Elizabeth complain to their father outside her door. "I tried having a conversation with her but it was as if I were interrupting a sacred ceremony or something."
"Yes, well, Mary erroneously finds no purpose in that which does not serve to educate mundane facts."
Mary sneered and clenched her quill, snapping it in two.
"I'm sure you think you know many things, Lizzy, but you know nothing of a broken heart or how to detect one unless you were told. Beware, for one day you might find yourself tormented by the throes of love." Mary muttered to the empty room.
Two weeks went by and brought forth the Sunday before the most abominable holiday ever known to man, Valentine's Day. Mary found herself standing alone outside the church before the start of service.
Her family was about socializing with various people. Mary was dismally observing the marking's carved into a tree. Someone had engraved a heart with the letters M+R inside it. Mary mused about who had carved it while tracing it with her finger. If Mr. Jenson's Christian name began with an R she would have thought it was the work of Maria Lucas. Whoever it was, she couldn't help feeling jealous. If only a young man, a certain young man who happened to marry the wrong woman, carved her initials with his. If only Mr. Collins' Christian name began with an R! Not that she condoned carving into church property but it would have been nice if, for once, someone was in pursuit of her.
"Hello Miss Mary. How are you doing?" a gentle voice interrupted her reflection. Mary looked up to see Mr. Singleton.
"Oh, I'm fine I suppose." she said with a sigh, still staring at the heart in melancholy. Mr. Singleton's eyes looked to where she was gazing and then quickly darted away.
"I absolutely abhor this time of year. It makes Kitty and Lydia even more riled up around young men and now that the soldiers are here it's been nothing short of torture."
Mr. Singleton gave her a sad smile. He knew there was more to it than the annoying antics of her younger sisters. He felt as distraught as she did. He could not bear to see her in affliction over the actions of such an unworthy man.
"Mr. Singleton, how does it happen?" she asked in frustration.
"How does what happen?" he asked in confusion.
"That!" she exclaimed, pointing at the carving on the tree. Richard blushed and muttered something about killing someone.
"W-well. Someone takes a sharp object and then carves a heart shape…" he stammered.
"No, not that." Mary said. "Though I disagree with defacing property, especially the property of God, I was speaking of love."
"L-love?"
"Yes, how do two people end up deciding to marry?"
"Well, sometimes two people love each other or sometimes one is interested in the other and the other thinks 'might as well'. Other times it's merely convenience…"
"Yes, but how? I have been unsuccessful thus far! Where's my 'might as well'? Must one be beautiful, amiable, and outgoing to be worthy of love?" Mary asked as they began walking toward the church. "Must one be the complete opposite of what I am?"
"Mary, that is NOT your complete opposite-"
"Spare the kind words." Mary snorted.
"I'm not sparing anything. It's true! Some people are just idiots and don't notice the good right in front of them." Richard said. "Others notice and are just simply idiots who don't know how to go about it properly."
"World of good that does me."
Richard smiled.
"Don't worry, Miss Mary. I know a charming, handsome young man will one day reveal he's madly in love with you. At the proper time."
Mary scoffed.
"And when will I ever meet a man with that description?"
Richard's smile fell into a frown as he looked at her. They walked into the church in silence.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better my day didn't start off so well." Richard stated as they sat down in a pew.
Mary looked at him.
"Rascal decided to shred up my newest and nicest pair of pants."
Mary giggled. Richard smiled, pleased with himself. That was the first time he heard her laugh since that dreadful wedding.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with that silly cat." said Richard. "He's been really grouchy lately always hissing and clawing at things. He's getting fat too. I think he's senile."
"He's not that old." Mary said, still giggling.
"Well whatever it is that stupid thing has been bothering me immensely."
"Oh, don't speak of poor Rascal so."
"Poor Rascal! Poor Richard and his pants is more like it!"
Mary continued laughing.
"Oh Richard, you didn't inform her of the best part." They heard a voice say from the pew in front of them. They looked up to see Mr. Jenson smirking at them. He sat down and turned in the seat to face them. Richard glared at him.
"You better hold your tongue." He said.
"The silly man didn't even notice as he put them on this morning." Mr. Jenson said to Mary. "I met him about halfway to the church and soon we realized a group of young ladies were giggling behind us. We thought nothing of it but the giggling wouldn't stop. Richard turned around to give them a polite hello and they all turned red and laughed harder. Finally, a gust of wind blew and he realized something was amiss. He looked down and sure enough the seat of his pants was torn."
Mary burst out into laughter as Richard sneered at him.
"A warning would have been welcomed."
"Well pardon me for not being in the habit of checking your backside." Mr. Jenson said.
"I'm going to kill you, you know." Richard said.
"Well, I'm still cross at you for shoving Maria Lucas on me at the ball!"
"Oh come now, Fredrick! That was over two months ago!"
"She thinks I'm in love with her now!"
"Well you shouldn't have been bothering me."
"Speaking of which, have you done it yet?" Mr. Jenson said giving Richard a look.
"No." Richard said definitively.
"And pray tell why not?"
"Because, as I have told you, it's not the right time."
"There is no more a perfect time as now, unless you're waiting a few days." Mr. Jenson said raising an eyebrow and smirking.
Richard sneered at Mr. Jenson. Mary looked in confusion from one to the other. It was the same conversation she had witnessed at the ball.
"Should I leave and let you speak privately?" She asked.
"Oh no, Miss Mary, I think you're quite suitable to hear our conversation." Mr. Jenson said.
Richard glared at Mr. Jenson.
"Is this about what you were discussing at the ball?" Mary asked. "Mr. Singleton if it has something to do with work you really shouldn't hesitate."
Mr. Jenson looked at Mary and laughed.
"Do you hear that Richard? Miss Mary agrees with me!" Mr. Jenson said. "And wouldn't you think her opinion is most valuable to listen to?"
"Do be quiet or I call Maria Lucas over here."
"Well, I suppose it's too bad that Miss Lucas isn't present at the-" Mr. Jenson started of smugly. Suddenly he gave a shout as his eyes bugged out and he ducked behind the pew.
Mary and Richard exchanged questioning glances.
"Fredrick?" Richard asked. Mr. Jenson peeked over the top of the pew.
"Maria Lucas just walked into the sanctuary." He whispered. "I must make my escape and wait outside until the service starts."
"Oh bother, Fredrick, Maria isn't that bad."
"You're not the one she's been following around like a little lost puppy since she was ten years old. It been even worse since her sister married. Now she's the next in line!"
"Oh come now, do you not think her pretty?" Richard teased.
"Pretty, maybe. Probably the only pretty Lucas girl in fact."
"He just doesn't like her because she's not a tall blonde." Richard informed Mary.
"Oh, is that so?" Mary asked looking at Mr. Jenson.
"No! It's because she's irritating, empty-headed, and silly beyond all reason!" Mr. Jenson said. "And she never quits talking. She makes my eardrums rupture every time I see her."
"Oh my, now who does that sound like?" Richard said.
"What are you babbling about?" Mr. Jenson said.
"Well, you sound like a perfect match to me."
"I do not talk so as to make people's eardrums rupture!" Mr. Jenson said loudly. Mary winced and brought a finger to her ear.
"Well, if you have no interest in her than why don't you just tell her?"
"I can't do that!" Mr. Jenson said.
"How come? It's not as if you haven't been rude to people before."
"She's a sweet girl, she'd be devastated. I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"Oh, that is so terribly sweet." Richard said.
"Shut up, I have no attachment to her whatsoever!"
"Dear Fredrick, I think it's time for you to settle down." Richard continued, happy that he now had the opportunity to bother his friend.
"Me settle down? Oh, that's funny coming from you!" He said loudly and sat up straight.
"Fredrick..." Richard warned.
"No, I think he has a point." Mary said, entering into the silly banter. "If you believe he should be married, why aren't you?"
"Ha! Do you hear that! Mary Bennet has agreed with me once again! Do explain to the dear girl why you are not married." Mr. Jenson said.
"You, shut up." Richard said to Mr. Jenson. He turned to Mary. "And you, don't listen to a word that buffoon says."
"It's actually a very interesting story, Miss Mary, one I think you'll find most enlightening about our dear Richard." Mr. Jenson said. Mary looked over at Richard and snickered. The poor man's face was red with embarrassment and anger.
"I thought you were leaving," he sneered at Mr. Jenson.
"Leaving? Why would I leave? I'm quite enjoying our conver-"
"Hello Mr. Jenson!"
Mr. Jenson gave a shout and almost fell out of his seat. A mortified expression spread across his features as Mary and Richard tried not to laugh. Maria Lucas had approached from behind. He forced a smile unto his face and turned his head slowly to look at the giggling girl.
"Hello Miss Lucas. How are you this morning?" he said through his clenched smile.
Maria giggled and settled down in the pew next to him.
"I'm doing well. Do you like my new bonnet?" she said, indicating the pink thing sitting upon her head.
"It's…very lovely," he said still feigning a smile.
Maria giggled again and held out a tin to him.
"I baked you cookies!" she said. Fredrick took the cookies and his smile dropped from his face. Richard and Mary struggled hard not to laugh.
"Well thank you Miss Lucas, that was very kind of you," He choked out and looked inside the tin. Richard leaned over the pew and looked into the tin as well.
"Why look at that, Fredrick!" Richard exclaimed. "They're heart-shaped with pink frosting! I do say that is awfully sweet of Miss Lucas! Don't you think so, Freddy ol' boy?"
Fredrick's face turned red.
"Yes, very nice."
Maria giggled.
"I did that for Valentines Day!" She said.
"Oh did you hear that Fredrick! For Valentines Day!" Richard exclaimed cheerfully. "How very thoughtful!"
Mr. Jenson grunted. Poor Mary's tongue was bleeding as she tried not to laugh. Mr. Jenson threw his arms about his stomach and let out dramatic groan.
"I hate to cut our conversation short but I have some business to take care of that suddenly came up." He said and gave a moan. Mr. Jenson got up quickly and walked out of the sanctuary, groaning dramatically and attracting attention. Mary and Richard couldn't look at each other for fear of bursting into laughter. Maria stared after Mr. Jenson in concern.
"I do hope he'll be alright!" Maria said worried.
"He'll be fine." Richard assured her.
"Oh my! He forgot his cookies!"
Richard smiled and took them.
"I'll make sure he gets them, don't worry."
"But Mary, you do think he liked my new bonnet, don't you?" Maria asked fretfully. Mary gave her a piteous smile. She knew what it was like to have unrequited affections.
"I'm sure he loved it Maria," Mary said, "but I think a young lady shouldn't concern herself about attracting a man with outer appearance. Rather she should display the attraction of a virtuous character and an engaged mind."
Maria stared at Mary blankly and then giggled.
"Oh pooh!" Maria said, waving her hand. She got up and walked away giggling.
"I think you amused her." Richard said. Mary and Richard exchanged glances and were finally able to find relief in laughter. It was, perhaps, the first time in awhile Mary had not a thought for Mr. Collins.
Well, there you are. Kind of a silly chapter, but I like it. As for Mary's room, I don't know I just picture it to be messy. I would think she wouldn't bother keeping it clean. As for a maid, she probably would prefer no one to touch her stuff.
Quotes: None…unless I skipped over them.