A/N: Wow guys, sorry for the long wait. :( I guess I just got distracted with other fanfics and fandoms. Yeah, excuses, excuses. But good news, I re-enabled Anonymous Reviews! :) So you have no reason not to review. =P
Also, I can 't believe this but I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS STORY FOR OVER A YEAR NOW. I didn't think I would take this long, lol. I started off updating quickly but I guess I've been slacking off a bit lately. Don't worry, I'm not losing my feel for the story I think I just don't have the over-exuberance I had for it when I first started. But I will do all I can to keep writing it.
Anyway, in this chapter someone returns to Hertfordshire…two actually. But, I won't say who cuz I'm a jerk. Just read it to find out.
So, am I just being nit-picky about my writing or does this chapter suck?
A few days after Kitty left, Mary received a letter from her Aunt Gardiner. Mary quickly read through the contents, past her aunt's stories of the children and her encouragement for Mary to go to Pemberley, until she reached the part she wanted to read most. Unfortunately, as cruel irony would have it, she wished to not have read it at all once she finished doing so.
It ended as follows:
London does boast of some wonderful Libraries. I do think you would enjoy them. You are welcome to stay with us if you wish; however, we cannot have you over for the next few months. Summer would be a better time if you wish to visit us then.
We have not seen your uncle in town at all. He is probably in some other part of London. I hope you are all well. Give our regards to the family.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Gardiner.
Mary sighed and put the letter down. Typical luck! She buried her head in her pillow thinking of the world's injustices then heard her mother calling, furthering such thoughts. Mary made a sound of discontentment and got up reluctantly.
Mary's mother forced her out of the house about everyday. It was irritating at first but after awhile Mary grew accustomed to it. Though Mrs. Bennet was a frustrating creature Mary enjoyed receiving some attention for once. As it had been with Kitty, she was disappointed that her mother only spent time with her because there was no one else but Mary was pleased to receive some attention, aggravating as it might have been. In addition, her mother, and those visited, did not spend so much time comparing her looks to her sisters' anymore. Mary submitted to the change without much reluctance and her spirits lifted enough to begin moralizing over every morning visit again. Her favorite visits were with Jane, for it was always comforting to have one caring relative around, even if a comparison between the two girls slipped out a time or two.
Mary found that she did miss Kitty, however. She missed all her sisters but Jane was close enough to visit and the others had too much ability to agitate her. While Kitty could be annoying at times she was, however, an easier companion than Lizzy or Lydia; and it was commendable that she had proven to be companionable at all! But now she and all her other sisters had left her, an action Mary once wished they would perform before they had actually done so.
After two peaceful weeks at Pemberley, Mr. Bennet returned home reluctantly and Mrs. Bennet all but attacked him upon his arrival.
"Mr. Bennet!" she exclaimed boisterously as he came down from the carriage.
"Yes, that is who I am." He said tiredly, kissing Mary and Mrs. Bennet.
"Oh! Mr. Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet squeaked as they walked towards the house. "How was Pemberley? Has my Kitty found a husband yet?"
"Yes, my dear, she is already married." Mr. Bennet said.
Mrs. Bennet shrieked rapturously but then frowned.
"Oh Mr. Bennet, do not vex me so!" She complained. "What I mean is: are there promising prospects at Pemberley for Kitty?"
"I wouldn't know," said Mr. Bennet. "I do not have insight into what Kitty likes and a young lady never reveals such things to her father."
"Oh, it does not matter who she is interested in!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed. "As long as the man is interested enough to propose to her. Have you not seen her speaking to any young men?"
"No, my dear. She shuts herself up in her room and avoids them, such as our Mary here does."
Mary lowered her eyes.
"Now there, Mr. Bennet, it will be a surprise to know we've made some changes. Mary has begun to join me more often on my visits." Mrs. Bennet said.
"Oh? Visits with women?"
"Don't be silly, Mr. Bennet. The Lucases have boys."
"Yes, I believe the oldest one available is about fourteen; a great age for our Mary."
"Don't be so critical. The eldest's wife might meet an early grave or Gregory could come to his senses, drop his courtship, and declare undying love for Mary. If not, then age won't matter in a few years and a plain girl like Mary needn't be so picky."
"With such reason, my dear, you have proven me wrong!" Mr. Bennet exclaimed. "Such astounding reason, in fact, that it shall all come to pass; then Mary can wed herself to all three. And, if Mary can wait for their youngest son who is but eight years old, she might find herself with four husbands. She will count herself most blessed among women."
Mrs. Bennet was not at all pleased with Mr. Bennet's teasing and told him so in no uncertain terms. Mary, unwilling to bear more abuse and ridiculousness, made her excuses and went upstairs to find another occupation.
The next day, a bored and irritated Mary found herself at the Philips's on one of her many visits with her mother. She had given up asking her aunt about her uncle's trip to London, along with venturing to Mr. Singleton's and Mr. Jenson's houses. Unbeknownst to her, however, she was about to hear news of it, though whether it would be to her liking was a different matter.
"I have heard most interesting news from my husband in London." Mrs. Philips said causing Mary's head to snap to attention. "It's about that clerk of his, Mr. Singleton."
Mary's heart began to pound as she leaned forward in rapt attention.
"There is a Miss Priscilla Clements, a daughter of one of the attorneys they are working with, who has taken quite a liking to him. She is incomparably beautiful, about as beautiful as your Jane I hear. She is very witty too and extremely accomplished. She is the epitome of perfection-what every young lady should be."
Mary insides churned with dreadful anticipation.
"They have spent many dinners together talking only with each other and he seems quite interested in her as well. It is much speculated that Mr. Singleton will stay in London to open his own firm so as never to part from her. His clerkship only has a few months left, after all."
Mary's heart descended to her stomach as she fell against her chair in a spell of dizziness. How was this possible? He loved her, did he not? Was it so soon that he was able to find another love?
"That is a shame." Mrs. Bennet lamented. "I had always reserved him for one of my girls. But, I suppose with three of them married and Kitty off at Pemberley, it never would have happened anyway. Well, I hope it works out for the both of them then."
Mary would have been offended about being overlooked if despair hadn't overtaken her emotions. She felt weak and sick and her head pounded as a sensation of dread coursed through her body. Tormented thoughts plagued her mind and she felt worse than when Mr. Collins had become engaged. She only awoke from her nightmare at her mother's shaking and then Mary followed her home mechanically. When they finally reached their destination she hurried to her room and shut the door. She sat quietly on her bed for several minutes then finally pulled out Mr. Singleton's letter and stared dolefully at it. Mary wished she could figure out the time, the exact moment that caused this disaster and stop it from ever happening.
Had Mr. Singleton ever truly harbored any real love for her? Was he merely deceived by some fleeting infatuation? How else could he easily divert his attentions to another…to that--epitome of perfection!
She had done this to herself. It was her who ruined everything that existed or could have existed between them. If she had not been so selfish and unforgiving he would not think she still hated him. She wished this new attachment was just a diversion, something to try to forget her, and not actual love. She hoped it would not work out and that they would find they were not for each other.
Mary watched as a silent tear dropped onto the letter and spread out, blotting some of the ink.
"If they do find love and happiness together I suppose I've only gotten everything I deserve." She told herself quietly. "At least he will be happy."
Mary hunched over, shoulder's shaking violently, and sobbed bitterly, clutching to the letter.
Mary became a mere shell and could only perform the routine motions of everyday living. She had no inner strength at all and concluded that to go on as she did was the work of God. Her faith was all that kept her from giving up all hope, and for that she could manage gratitude.
It took only a week for Mr. Bennet to notice his daughter's plight. With no one but Mrs. Bennet and Mary around Mr. Bennet lacked the entertainment of half of his family's follies. Inobservance was not something to be had towards Mary and he could not deny a change in her character. He had always thought change would be to her advantage but it only proved evil. She did not lecture anymore, her piano playing was unheard, and she never read on the rare occasion she was downstairs. The absence of these activities was not the problem but rather their replacements. She merely stared into space, touched only a small portion of her food, and never responded to her mother until her voice reached an impossible pitch. Mr. Bennet might not have had the fondness for Mary that he had for Lizzy but he did not like seeing her in such a state. He had an idea or two on what was the matter but in reality he did not know the truth.
One particular evening Mr. Bennet observed Mary's physical presence and mental absence as his wife's incessant chatter went unheeded by the girl.
He addressed her and, as she did not look up, he spoke louder a second time; Mary finally, slowly raised a pair of distant eyes.
"Have you learned anything new on your piano?" He inquired. "I have not heard it as of late."
Mary shook her head and turned back to her plate.
"What about books? Have you read anything interesting?" He asked.
"No," she said quietly and did not look up.
"Nothing of great moral revelation to report?"
"Hmm?" Mary mumbled distractedly as she lifted her head up once more.
"Never mind," Mr. Bennet sighed. "It's not of importance."
Mr. Bennet watched as his third daughter returned to her dreadful daydream and was at loss of what to do.
Three weeks passed when Mary heard news of an engagement. By this time she had begun to operate a little more efficiently again. She still knew only the evils of the world but she was becoming more aware of her surroundings. She spent her mornings with her mother and her afternoons escaping to the bookstore. She spent little time in actual reading, however, and more time contemplating old memories. The bookstore had been a common place where she met with Richard; one such instance was that fateful visit she told him of her love for Collins. How she wished she kept quiet that day! If Mr. Singleton had not known the obstacle of that dreadful clergyman he might have confessed his feelings for her and she might have seen things in a different light. Perhaps her old feelings for Mr. Singleton would have resurfaced and her ridiculous feelings for Mr. Collins would have deservedly disintegrated to dust. On one of these occasions her imagination had particularly run away with her and she thought of all sorts of dreadful things. She put the book she was mindlessly staring at down in frustration. There was absolutely no use for her to be there and she was receiving irritated looks from Mr. Morrison. He desired her to either purchase something or take her woe-some daydreams elsewhere. Mary decided to appease him doubly and bought the book she had in her hands, whatever it was, and left the store in dismay.
But, to her pleasant surprise, this dismay did not last long as she caught a sight to vanquish her despair and restore her hope. The tall, lean frame was reclining against a post not far from her; she hesitated not in racing towards her object of mirth.
"Mr. Jenson!" she exclaimed happily as she reached the young man. Mr. Jenson, who had been staring in another direction, turned towards Mary quite startled.
"Oh, hello Mary," he said in distraction and turned back to the sight of his observance.
"When did you come back from London?"
"Thursday." He said, barely paying heed. Mary, in curiosity, turned to see the source of his interest. Maria Lucas, a few feet off, was flirting with a Goulding boy; upon seeing Mary and Mr. Jenson she began to flirt all the more. Mr. Jenson sighed and Mary frowned in sympathy before continuing her inquisition.
"Has Mr. Singleton returned as well?"
"No. We had the choice to stay and he decided to do so." He said with slight irritation as a giggle was heard a few feet off.
He decided to stay? Was it because of Miss Clements?
"When will he be back?" she asked.
"I do not know." He said. He gave an aggravated sigh and glared at the offending couple.
"D-do, do you have the address where he is staying?" she asked shyly.
"Miss Mary, I do not know off the top of my head!" he snapped irritably.
Mary stared in astonishment.
"I apologize. Thank you." She stammered with a wavering voice and hurried off.
Mary fled home in dismay as her thoughts crashed ruthlessly in her head.
He chose to stay.
He chose to stay.
He could have come home but he chose to stay. He could have come back to her but he did not. He chose to stay with Priscilla, the "epitome of perfection" as opposed to her imperfect, selfish, plain, awkward self. He chose not to come back.
She supposed she could not blame him. He thought she still hated him and she had behaved mercilessly towards him. But it still hurt that he let go so quickly. Mary hurried home as fast as she could, wanting nothing more to do but lie on her bed and weep. Unfortunately, however, she walked in the door to her mother shrieking at her.
"OH MARY! Wonderful news from Pemberley! My dear Kitty is engaged!"
Mary dropped her book in astonishment.
"Engaged!" She yelled. "You cannot be serious!"
"Oh but I am!" Mrs. Bennet tittered.
"Wonderful!" Mary exclaimed in irritated sarcasm. "Just wonderful!"
"Oh isn't it though!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed. "I knew she'd be engaged in no time. She's such a sweet, pretty little thing."
"Excuse me." Mary muttered, walking past her mother.
"Where are you going, child?"
"To my room; I have a headache and need uninterrupted rest."
"Well do not take so long to do that. You must get to packing."
"Packing?"
"Yes, we are leaving bright and early tomorrow morning for Pemberley!"
"Tomorrow? Pemberley?" Mary exclaimed.
"Yes of course! To see my wonderful Kitty!"
"Great." Mary muttered and walked quickly up the stairs to start packing. It seemed as if fate had been sealed. There was no more hope of Richard and no hope of another pointless inquiry to Mr. Jenson. No, Kitty was engaged and it was only suitable to share in her happiness while dealing with her own despair. Mary reached her room and sat on her bed, staring into nothingness. She did not pack, she did not even cry. She did not know what to do. She simply sat and thought.
It was only perfect logic for Kitty to be engaged. It should work out that all her sisters would be engaged or wed while she was going through the most difficult, romantically hopeless time of her life. It would only be fitting. It was a most cruel punishment indeed.
Her mother finally broke her contemplation an hour later and assisted, to Mary's displeasure, in Mary's packing. Mary heard all about Kitty, her fiancé, and their engagement. As it turned out Mr. Strafford was the one Kitty was engaged to.
Well done, Kitty. Mary mused. At least one of us knows how to properly snare a man.
Mary spent the rest of the afternoon listening to her mother's ramblings. She listened in patient silence about Kitty's engagement. She listened with forced forbearance the abuse of why she hadn't a husband. It was almost supper when her mother finally left her. After the meal Mary could finally rest and let her emotions get the better of her. However, she only spent a short evening in agony and went to bed early. Her parents soon went to their own quarters in light of the journey the next day. It was only suitable to visit the newly engaged Kitty as soon as possible. To Pemberley, therefore, they were to go.
I know, I torture poor Mary too much but things will get happier for her soon.
Also, it seems as if they are leaving quite quickly after receiving the letter without notice. But Mrs. Bennet doesn't care about propriety, the book itself has claimed that Mr. Bennet likes to visit his daughter unexpectedly, and Mary's a bit distracted to care about the particulars of when they go. She just simply doesn't want to go at all. I'll probably explain it more next chapter.
As for Kitty's engagement seeming too quick that will make a little more sense next chapter as well. But keep in mind that she's been there about 1 ½ months and people got engaged more quickly back then. But, it will make more sense, like I said
And yes, I do recognize this is a contradictory statement: "She is incomparably beautiful, about as beautiful as your Jane I hear." But that Mrs. Philips for ya.
Anyway, as I said before, anonymous reviews are now re-enabled so please review! :)
Quotes taken from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen:
"To Pemberley, therefore, they were to go." Volume II, Chapter 19
"In addition, her mother, and those visited, did not spend so much time comparing her looks to her sisters' anymore. Mary submitted to the change without much reluctance and her spirits lifted enough to begin moralizing over every morning visit again."
Varied from the quote:
"Mary was obliged to mix more with the world, but she could still moralize over every morning visit; and as she was no longer mortified by comparisons between her sisters' beauty and her own, it was suspected by her father that she submitted to the change without much reluctance." Volume III, Chapter 19