Whilst writing this chapter I listened to Birdy's Skinny Love, and Avril Lavignes When your gone, which I both adore. I thought they were quite emotional songs, and I tried to put myself in Ron's frame of mind. It starts of with Ron being angsty and hurt, but dont worry, we'll get to Romione :) Hope you enjoy !
Cant !
A tear slid down Ron's cheek as the last embers of the fire died down. A slight tapping sound made Ron jump, looking over at the open window as it swung back and forth, but he just couldn't find the energy to get up and cross the kitchen to close it. Fred would never walk across that kitchen again, never sit with him and have a joke. You'd think with so many siblings, loosing just one wouldnt impact you as much, but boy did it hurt. It was like a dull thud. Thud, thud. He gulped and sniffed, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. He thought of Fred, before all the war, all the suffering...
...
There was a storm. The windows rattled, the rain hitting hard against the attic roof. One of the reasons Ron didn't like where his bedroom was, he was so far away from anyone else if something bad were to happen. It would take longer to get to them, to help. He wishes he had a twin, so he always had someone who understood him. He grabbed biscuits, his teddy missing an arm, and a pillow, and clambered under the bed. He felt foolish, Ginny was a year younger than him, she was five, and he was six! You'd think at six year old child would be able to get to sleep all on thier own, no assistance needed, but no! I'm hiding under the bed like a baby. Fred and George would laugh if they found me.
A tear slid down young Ron's cheek as a tree branch snapped against the window pane, making him jump and his heart thud ten times as fast. He heard something, something close, footsteps, coming closer, and close.
"Where's Ron" he heard one of the twins say.
"I dunno, check under the bed, and in the wardrobe, you know he hates the weather when its like this"
He heard the wardrobe door open, and then Fred's head bobbed down under the bed.
"Hey, what you doin under there?"
Ron shrugged his shoulders and feeling silly again ,turning away before they could see his scared face. He suddenly felt arms around his waist, and he was being dragged out by George. He felt arms around him and suddenly he was seated inbetween the twins on his bed.
"Hey, where's biscuit gone?"
"What!" Ron panicked, he didnt know Fred and George knew about his bear.
"You dont want to leave him all alone in this storm do you, he'll be scared!" Fred got on his hands and knees and reached under the bed and pulled out his tatty looking bear. He brushed him off, and handed him back to Ron, who sat looking surprised. Fred smiled.
"So, wanna come into our room for a bit, you can share my bed if you want, Ginny's already in with George".
Ron nodded, and smiled at them both in thanks. They sat there for a moment, and Ron spoke.
"I dont like the storm..."
Fred and George shared a glance. They knew how Ron could get.
"Doesnt matter, it's not gonna get you, were here, not goin anywhere. Mum and Dad are downstairs, the storm isn't gonna hurt you" Fred said, George nodding, agreeing.
"Its loud"
"So are you when your having one of your temper tantrums. Im sure if the storm met you on a bad day, it would be scared too!"George laughed. Ron wiped his nose on his sleave and smiled back at him.
"Come on then, we're all supposed to be asleep, Mum and Dad will be going to bed soon"
George got up and opened the door for them to go through, but before he could stand, Fred had easily grabbed him around the waist, picked him up and hoisted him onto his back. Ron placed his arms around Fred's neck, and they continued down the stairs. Ginny was waiting by the bedroom door, looking excited that they were all going to share a room for the night. Ron doubted they would get any felt Fred hoist him forwards once more, and he climbed onto the top bunk. Fred followed after him, and he knew George and Ginny were on the bed below them. At first he slept the opposite end, but soon enough, he scramble closer to his brother, Fred giving him a reassuring smile as the thunder rumbled in the skies above. Ron put his head on Fred's chest, feeling safe, secure, and out of harms way,his fear ebbing away slowly as he felt the heartbeat of his sibling beating as they fell into a comfortable slumber.
...
"Ron?" Hermione whispered, from the doorway. Ron didnt hear her. She walked over and whispered once more "Are you awake".
Ron looked up from the ashes in the fire place, and gave her a weak smile. She sat next to him, leaning on the arm of the patch work arm chair. Moonlight streaked through the room, illuminating Ron's face, allowing her to instantly read the emotion. Heartbreak, anguish, grief, sadness, and she didn't have a clue what to do. She placed a had on his shoulder, glad for some sort of contact. Since returning from Hogwarts that morning , she gave Ron watery smiles and reassuring pats, but he was breaking before her eyes, crumbling like the walls of the castle. His guard was down, every barrier that he had ever put up in front of her was now gone. It was just him, her and every negative emotion possible present.
"Ron, you need some sleep"
"Cant"
"Ron-" she jumped as the window swung back and hit the Burrow wall once more. She walked over and shut it, instantly feeling warmer and safer, like the small thing like a window would stop anyone from getting in and hurting them. Not that Ron could be hurt any more at this moment. It seemed any more grief would reduce him to nothing, an empty shell. But she knew, that her Ron was still in there, waiting to be pulled out, to be saved, from going under.
"Would you like a drink?"
"Can't"
She nodded, accepting that he wanted to be alone, some time to come to terms with what had happened. She patted his shoulder a few times, squeezing it, and then got up to go, but before she had chance to walk even one step, Ron's hand reacher for her wrist, and he pulled her down onto the armchair with him. Her legs went over the opposite arm, seated on Ron's lap perfectly. Her arms went around his neck, and she heard him swallow.
"Are you sure there isnt anything I can do?" she whispered.
Ron's chin quivered, a tear escaping. She reached her hand up and stroked her pale fingers over it, sweeping the trail of grief away. He leant into her hand. Ron closed his eyes , holding Hermione's waist tighter, placing his head on her chest, hearing her heartbeat. He remembered when Fred's heartbeat had once been this close, and now, those sounds would never be heard again. He took a deep breath, gathering himself, and looked back up at this angel before him. He gave her a weak smiled, and she understood. All he needed was her, to be here, to love, to hold, to be his leaning post when he needed it, to catch the tears that fell, like he would do for her.
"Do you like me?" she whispered, needing to hear the conformation, the certainty in his voice.
"Can't" he said, looking into her glistening eyes.
Hermione's heart stopped, fearing the worst, what did he possibly mean, surely-
"What" she whispered, bearly audible, there faces inches apart.
"Cant go back to like now, past that a long time ago. If it's possible, I think I surpassed love also. I dont think there's even a word, at least not one that I'm aware of"
Hermione swallowed, and leant forward, thier noses touching, thier eyes boring into each other. "Fred would be so proud of you. If he ever knew what you did, destroying the Horcrux, saving so many people, going on to live a happy life, he would be sitting on his cloud sayin 'That's my brother, that one, right there, he helped defeat You- Know- Who'"
"He would?"
"Yep, and do you know what else he'd be saying?" Hermione said, more bolder this time, her voice raising from a whisper. He tilted his head in question, curious about her answer.
"He'd say 'Ron got the girl, a girl he's had for a long time, only he just didn't know it'" her cheeks turning a slight pink in the moonlight, her voice cracking.
Ron grinned, a tear still strolling down his cheek, and Hermione nearly broke down in happiness. Not since their kiss had she seen Ron smile properly, genuinely, not a 'Its okay, I'm fine' grimace he'd given to his mum a few times today, not a 'Im handling it' smile she had recieved in the past few months on their hunt. It was genuine, honest, natural, and pure.
"Promise me something" Hermione said. He nodded at her, no even knowing what it was she was going to say.
"Promise that if there's something bothering you, about Fred, or about anything, anything at all, you wont sit and grieve on your own, you won't push me away"
He nodded, the promise in his eyes.
"There will be no more secrets, no more resentment , " she took a breathe, steadying herself, preparing, her heart picking up speed ",no more leaving"
She could see the heartbreak in Ron's eyes, less than a fingers width away from hers.
"Couldnt even if I wanted to. Your part of me now Hermione. Can't leave without a bit of myself now can I" he chuckled " We all know how that went last time, and I ended up loosing part of my arm" his grin growing wider.
Hermione rubbed her nose up against his, and there they sat, listening to the slight rain patter against the window, Ron's thoughts on Fred, but thought about something his brother once said
Doesnt matter, it's not gonna get you, were here, not goin anywhere.
Ron could no longer hear the beat of Fred's heart, but he would always hear the reassuring soothe of his brothers voice inside his head, guiding him, keeping him safe, laughing with him, reassuring him.
rhrhrrhr
I think this is probably one of the best chapters I've done in a long time. I felt like crying when it came to the end, and knowing that people go through this sort of pain everyday makes me so sad. I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading and if you have time, please drop me a review, I would be very grateful.