Disclaimer: I do NOT own Buffy the vampire slayer or its characters. I make no money from this.
Warnings: General spoilers for season four, and five. Spoilers: Season five.
[It's okay. I know she doesn't love me]
Xander grimaced. He wondered if he was the only one who had noticed the way Buffy's relationship with Riley wasn't working the way Willow, and everyone else, had hoped it would. He hadn't really noticed it before Riley had admitted he didn't think Buffy loved him but now it was obvious. Little things that hadn't clicked before. Riley was rebound guy, maybe more so than Parker had been. It wasn't consciously either, not really.
It had left Xander feeling a little cold, to hear the finality in Riley's voice, compounded by Buffy re-entering the dorm room. It wasn't obvious but now that he had been paying attention, little things stood out. It wasn't fair to either of them, whatever it was.
At first, it hadn't made sense. How could he even begin to imply that Buffy was using him, that she didn't actually love him. They looked so . . . normal, the happy couple who in a few years would be married with a kid on the way and . . . that wasn't Buffy. She wasn't that person, she couldn't be. She was the chosen one and wasn't that a punch in the gut. But it opened his eyes all the same.
Anya. He didn't know if it was going to last but he loved her, didn't want anyone else, not really. Buffy would always be his hero, his first crush, and possibly his first love, but Anya . . . she was it, the one. The person he wouldn't mind growing old with.