I've written two other fics for my take on Knock Out's reaction to Breakdown's death, but this is the only one I like. The other two were so cheesy... this one is set just before Airachnid sends that message.
I think I might revisit this AU regularly... Mwahaha!
Megatron was not one to show compassion or sympathy to his underlings, for any reason. They were the pawns and knights on the chess board of this war, and they were manoeuvred them as such. What did he care if their friends and family were killed? They should use their pain to power them forward for his pursuit of victory, or fall to rust. He didn't care which, so long as they did not hinder his plans for domination and power.
Unless Soundwave got involved.
The chrome and violet mech shifted awkwardly where he stood, optics darting around the room in an uncharacteristically nervous fashion. A fashion only Soundwave could bring forth.
The slender mech's slanted optics narrowed, his arms folding as he fixed his bondmate with a scornful look. Megatron puffed out his chest, trying to assert his authority. But they both knew who was really in charge here. Within the dim, pale blue light of their chambers, the only place Soundwave removed his mask and spoke, the eyes and ears of the Decepticons had full control of any and all situations.
And Megatron couldn't do anything about it.
He rolled his shoulder, making an old war wound that had never fully healed creak. It was just something he did when he was uncomfortable. He chewed his lower lip carefully, trying to think of a way to talk his way out of this but, of course, he found none. Soundwave's pede began to tap against the metal floor impatiently, and Megatron knew that he was down to the penultimate straw.
"I'll give you to the count of 5 to get your power hungry backside out of that door and down to med-bay." Soundwave hissed firmly. His aqua-green optics flared brightly, next to shorting. And as arousing as Megatron found this display, he was hardly in a position to act on it. "One..." He tensed, staring at Soundwave pleadingly. "Two..."
"I can't... it is weakness!"
"... Three..." Of course; there was no way out of this. As much as he hated when his bonded treated him like a sparkling by counting, the trick was oddly effective, and he could never comprehend how it always made him scramble to obey his mate. Like it was right now.
He sprinted towards the door, palmed it open and darted outside. The door shut quickly, and clicked, signalling Soundwave would not let him back in unless he did the deed. Megatron rubbed the side of his face in frustration and defeat. The fact that he was outside was enough to dent his pride, but on top of that; Soundwave had effectively banished him to recharge in the common room if he didn't do as he was told. He could almost hear Optimus laughing at him, and the slagger didn't even know he and Soundwave were bonded. So Megatron began the abnormally long trek towards the med-bay, receiving nods, salutes and "Sir!"'s accordingly from passing Eradicons and a rather depressed looking Dreadwing.
Why the large blue flyer blamed himself for Breakdown's demise, he couldn't understand.
When it came to empathy, Megatron was at a gigantic loss. A Sociopath, Starscream had called him, almost as bad as Shockwave. That was why he needed the Cyclops' brother to feed him an understanding of other bots' emotions through their spark bond as, despite popular belief, Soundwave understood feelings better than any Autobot he'd ever met.
He started suddenly when he realised he was in front of the med-bay doors, then glanced around, checking no one had seen him flinch. No one else was in the hall. He shifted from pede to pede, staring at the floor and attempting to piece together an explanation as to why he'd come to visit the medic without an injury. Something he usually left Starscream to do.
No doubt, the little harlot had his uses, but their hatred for each other meant he couldn't respect him for it. He still boiled at the fact Soundwave and Knock Out had been rather fond of Starscream, for some unfathomable reason.
He entered the med-bay, walking in his usual proud, powerful stride. Then Knock Out turned around to see him with a perfectly innocent look of surprise on his face, and he suddenly gulped.
"Why lord Megatron; you don't look like you're hurt, nor do I recall you having scheduled a check up." The warlord was very much guilty of only seeking personal company from Soundwave, and ignoring the rest of his troops on the off-hours.
"That is because my visit holds another purpose," he began, straightening up and squaring his shoulders. The cherry medic stood up, facing him with the required amount of submission.
"That being?"
He gnawed the inside of his cheek, cursing himself for completely forgetting what he'd come up with. He knew what he'd come to say, he just didn't know how to say it. "Well... it is about your partner, Knock Out," he began slowly. His physician perked up at the mention of his mate's name, like the very prospect of Breakdown brought light to his world. That only gave Megatron a sinking feeling. He licked his upper lip and looked away, begging Soundwave to aid him through the bond.
Tell him the truth... but for Primus' sake, do it gently!
As opposed to how I broke that news to Starscream?
Soundwave had been extremely enraged by his lack of tact upon delivering the news of his Trine mates' deaths to the Seeker. And at the time, Megatron had felt quite guilty for making Starscream cry.
"It appears he has been... he is no longer... um..." he trailed off awkwardly. Knock Out suddenly squeaked, making him look back; the medic's optics were beginning to brim with tears of coolant. Apparently his hesitation was enough of an explanation as telling him straight out that his boyfriend was dead.
"He... he's not..." They hadn't been bonded, Megatron knew that much, but they were very close to being so. He knew this from the fact Breakdown had once come to him, asking about Decepticon bonding ceremonies in that timid way he always spoke to his master. There was no doubt in his mind that Breakdown had adored Knock Out much the same as he himself adored Soundwave.
That thought had his mate send him a warm and comforting pulse through the bond.
"I'm afraid he is... my condolences Knock Out, I know how much he meant to you." He was doing well! Soundwave was stroking the bond affectionately, telling him he was handling the situation as well as anyone could have.
Knock Out balled his fists; one against his chest, the other moving to his chin as tears began to drip down his cheeks. "H-how?" He cried out desperately. He slightly wanted to demand some composure from the medic, but the words stuck to his glossa. He'd never seen the worldly little mech cry before.
"A... Airachnid." He mumbled, just loud enough to hear. He internally scrambled for Soundwave's end of the bond, pleading and begging for guidance as the medic sank to his knees and sobbed into his palms.
Go towards him. Soundwave commanded. He obliged, shuffling towards the medic. Get to his height as best you can. Megatron crouched to one knee. Pat him on the back.
Knock Out's pretty face, perverted by his tears, was suddenly contorted with despairing rage. "I'll kill her!" He wailed, punching the floor limply. Megatron went from patting to rubbing – it just felt right – and nodded in understanding.
"Her actions will not be forgiven. I promise you this, Knock Out." He stated firmly. He didn't exactly hate Knock Out; he was the only medic he trusted enough to work on him internally, or to so much as touch Soundwave. A soft spot, however small, had formed for his physician over the centuries. And Soundwave had always said he was proud of him for it.
"... Lord Megatron... if you ever get the chance, please; capture her, but leave he execution for me." The cherry coloured mech bit out, his exotic optics glowing strangely. Megatron nodded.
"Vengeance shall be yours, and I shall aid you in that however I can." Knock Out glanced at him sideways, giving Megatron the feeling he was grateful. Or maybe that was Soundwave telling him that. "You... clearly are in need of time and space," he stood up again, but kept his helm bent humbly, trying to imagine how he'd like to be treated were he to lose Soundwave. "You may take time off of your duties for as long as you need..."
"That is most gracious of you, master." Knock Out wiped a cheek with his fist, then attempted to pull himself to his pedes. He was surprised yet again when Megatron offered him a hand. "I will still perform my medical duties, whatever the situation, my lord."
"Very kind of you, Knock Out." There was a silence he perceived as awkward, though he didn't know if Knock Out saw it the same way. "I... ah, shall leave you to yourself then, my dear physician."
"Thank you, my lord." Knock Out bowed, though with a lack of the usual flourish he normally showed. As his master stepped out, he span around and kicked over the medical berth, screaming as loud as his vocaliser would allow, grateful the med-bay was soundproof. The fact he'd burst into tears in front of Megatron was humiliating enough, he didn't want his master to see him flipping out like this.
He screamed and shouted and beat at the room and its walls until every material object within was out of place. He didn't even give notice to the fact that he'd managed to scratch and dent himself doing so.
He threw several glass beakers, either empty or full, against the wall, having them smash into a thousand tiny pieces individually. He grabbed the seat from behind his desk and raised it above his head, whirling around, then caught his reflection in the full length mirror at the end of the room. He stared at himself, panting and shaking, then dropped the chair and walked towards it. He pressed his sharp fingertips and hot palms against the glass, staring into his reflection's optics. He recalled so many mornings preening himself in front of this mirror, and Breakdown appearing in the glass behind his own reflection, grinning and saying he was beautiful.
"You don't always have to groom yourself; you're perfect, no matter what babe."
Babe. So typical of a mech with his background, yet Knock Out had grown incredibly warm and accustomed to the nickname, despite years of snapping at drunken mechs in bars to not address him by that distasteful title. Breakdown made it sound okay.
Breakdown made everything better.
The sound of metal scratching down glass hurt his audials, but he couldn't make his fingers stop, nor regain the strength in his knees as he sank to them once again.
"Oh my Breakdown..." He choked, tears spilling over once again. "My darling, precious Breakdown..."
The door slid open, as Megatron hoped it would, and he hurried inside. Soundwave turned his head to smile at him, sitting in one of their comfortable seats, looking as beautiful as the day he met him. Megatron walked over, then went down on one knee and gently lifted one of Soundwave's pedes up by a slender ankle, kissing it softly, then working his way up the royal blue leg.
Soundwave just smiled, optics half shutting as he watched his bonded smother him with adoration and worship. He responded by reaching forward and petting him, as if he were his darling sparklinghood pet Ravage, who he'd left in the care of Shockwave. His bonded had handled the situation well, despite his inability to understand or notice other people's emotions.
His pawn indulged him, purring and nuzzling into the caress of his slim servo. The queen just smiled wider; more pieces had been moved across the chess board in his favour.