I'd been having a good time, lately. After the rush and excitement of the wedding, Nancy and Evan settled into the life at the

cabin. They still came to supper at least a couple of times a week, and, of course Evan was around during the day, working. Sometimes,

though, when I got home from work at Ivy's, I only got to see him for a few minutes before he left. Unless it was one of the evenings that

Nancy came to the house straight from her job, and they ate with all of us.

They both seemed really happy, and that made me feel good inside. I did miss him being right down the hallway at night, though. I'll admit

to it.

Now, that I was dating Kenny, and only Kenny, things were different with that, too. I was actually having a really good time. We'd been

out for the last two weekends straight, going to the movies with Guthrie and Kristin, and another time bowling with them and Trent and Lori. And,

then, one Sunday we'd gone off by ourselves, taking a picnic to the creek.

And, we did a lot of talking. I always knew that Kenny and I had a bunch of stuff in common. I mean, we did both grow up

around Murphys, and been around ranching all our lives. But, we had other things in common, too. We liked the same movies, and

riding horseback, and sometimes Kenny would bring his four-wheeler over in the back of his truck, and we'd go four-wheeling with

Guthrie and Kristin. Sometimes up to Evan and Nancy's cabin, and other times, just over the hills and zooming along in the

tall grass.

Anyway, with school, and work at Ivy's, and all my critters, and then chores at home, and being with Kenny, I was busy all the time. I'd been busy

before, but now even more so.

And, something had to give at some point. I'd been staying up late to do homework, and to study, since that was when I had the

time. Then, I'd started to have headaches. I didn't want to have any family concerned by that, or by me having issues with my

diabetes. So, I stopped staying up so late doing homework. I rationalized to myself that I'd get to bed on time, and the headaches

would stop, and thus, I'd stay healthy and on top of things.

As long as I was healthy, I could keep up with everything. That's what I told myself.

One Sunday afternoon I had the beginnings of one of those headaches, and, even though I should have rested,

I didn't want to. Ford was getting ready to head back to college, and I didn't want to miss any time with him.

Ford and I'd been riding since lunch that day, and he said he only had about another hour or so until he would

have to be leaving for the drive back. We'd stopped in one of the meadows, and left the horses ground tied, stretching out

in the grass. Ford was sitting, absentmindedly tearing the grass blades and then whistling on them.

No matter what, I've never been able to do that. Even though I've practiced for years.

I laid down on my back, laying one arm across my eyes to block the sun. It made my headache worse.

"You feelin' okay?" Ford asked me.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said.

"You've got a headache though, don't ya?"

"Just a little one, Fordie," I told him.

He reached over and gave me a dig in my ribs. "Stop with the 'Fordie', Har."

I put my arm back over my eyes again from where he'd jostled me. "I've only called you that once this weekend," I pointed out. "I'm allowed."

I heard Ford rustling around, and I peeked under my arm to see that he was lying on his back, as well, with both arms folded under

his head. I rolled over on my stomach, so the sun wouldn't be in my eyes. I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Maybe you shoulda eaten more lunch, huh?" he said.

"It's not that," I said. "Maybe I need glasses or something."

"Have Hannah make you an eye appointment," Ford suggested.

"I'm just joking. My eyes are fine," I told him.

"How's Kenny?" he asked me.

"You saw him last night when he came over," I said.

"I know I did. I meant, how are things between you and him?"

"Oh." I smiled a little, despite my headache. "We're good."

"That's good."

"What about you and Felicity?" I countered.

"She's a nice girl," Ford said. "I like her. I'm not ready to get serious, though."

I turned to lay on my right side, propping my head on one hand. "Does she want to get serious?" I asked.

"I dunno," he said, and then he sighed. "Yeah. I guess she does."

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Ford admitted. "I'm not really good at this stuff."

"You're so nice, you just don't want to hurt someone," I said, loyally.

"Thanks, Har."

I shifted to a sitting up position, sitting cross-legged and facing Ford.

"Has Felicity talked to you much about before-before they moved here, I mean?" I asked. It was my round-about way of asking

if Ford knew about the baby that she'd placed for adoption last year. I'd always wondered if she'd told Ford, but he had never said. I'd

promised Bill that I wouldn't say anything to Ford at first about it, and now so much time had gone by, that I felt a little guilty.

"Yeah. She's talked to me a little about it," Ford said.

I wondered what that little had been, and whether it included the adoption.

"I guess she had a pretty rough time of it," I said, plucking a piece of the grass and tearing it into strips.

"Is this the round-about way of asking if she told me about the baby?" Ford asked.

"Yeah," I said, surprised.

"She told me. A couple of weeks after we started going out."

"Oh. Well, that's good," I said, and I felt relieved at not having to hold it from Ford any longer. "I guess I should have

told you," I said, feeling awkward. "But, at first, Bill asked me not to tell you, and then-well, I kind of thought it was

Felicity's place to tell you-" I let my voice trail off.

For a moment Ford was quiet, and I said, "Was I wrong, Ford?" I asked, wondering at his silence.

"No. I think it was right of you," he said, and I felt relief swoosh over me.

"Okay," I said.

"It took a lot of courage for Felicity to do what she did," Ford said. "She wanted what was best for the baby."

Another thought occurred to me. I wondered if it was too personal to ask of Ford.

"If I ask you something, and it's too personal," I began, "You can just tell me."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Is that the reason that you don't want to get real serious with Felicity?" I asked. "Because of the baby?"

"Gosh, no," Ford said, immediately. "I admire her for doing what she thought was right. And, she really thought she

loved the guy. The baby's dad. He left her high and dry when he found out she was pregnant."

I hadn't known all of that, and I felt bad for Felicity.

After a few more minutes, Ford said he had to be getting to the house, so as to gather up his stuff, and head back to college.

"Next time you come, will you bring Captain Jack?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I'll try to."

Ford got his feet, and held out a hand to me. I took his hand, and let him pull me to my feet. At first, it was playful, me

pretending to fall back, and causing him to have to tug harder. When he gave me a yank that brought me to my feet, I was

laughing. At first. And, then, I felt so dizzy for a moment that I nearly did fall over for real.

Ford caught at my arm, holding me up. When he was wise to the fact that I wasn't still playing, his face

was lined in concern.

"Har-" he began, putting an arm around my waist.

"I'm okay," I said. More from habit than from truth at that moment.

"Sit back down for a minute," he told me.

"I don't need to."

"Sit," he ordered, and more or less guided me to the ground. I sat with my knees folded underneath my behind. Ford

went over to the horses, and took off one of the canteens, bringing it over to me.

He knelt on one knee and handed it to me.

I took a long drink of the water, and handed it back to him. He recapped the canteen, but his eyes were on me the whole

time he did it. He was watching me so intently that I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a light push.

"Stop, Ford. I'm okay."

"What was that, then?" he asked.

"I don't know. Nothing. I'll be fine in a minute."

"You bring anything with you?" he asked then. "An apple, or candy bar, or something?"

"No."

"I should have thought to bring somethin'," he said, almost to himself.

"It's not your responsibility," I told him.

"No," he agreed. "It's yours." He succeeded in sounding stern, and I gave his leg a pat.

"You're doing good," I told him. "You've been practicing on that lecture tone."

Ford didn't answer that little quip of mine. He said, "Let me know when you're ready."

"I'm ready now," I said, and let him help me to my feet.

"Not dizzy anymore?" he asked, still hovering at my side.

"No. I'm okay."

When we were beside the horses, Ford tried to get me to ride double with him on his horse, but I refused, and

he didn't press me. I could tell Ford was torn between trying to get us home in a hurry, or taking it slowly, so as not to

dizzy me up again.

When we got within sight of the barns, and the house, Ford said, "I'll unsaddle Charley and put him away for ya. I want you to go

in, and get something to eat, and tell Hannah what happened."

"I'll let you untack Charley if you want, and I'll get a snack," I said. "But, I'm not saying anything to Hannah."

"The heck you're not," Ford said.

I gave him a sideways glance. He wasn't looking at me, but I could see by the set of his mouth that he was in

stubborn mode.

At the corral, I slid down off of Charley, and Ford took the reins from my hand.

"Hannah will just fuss," I said, making one more attempt.

"You need her to fuss," Ford said. He went on, leading both horses away to untack them.

I rolled my eyes, even though no one was there to see me do it.

I went in the back door to the kitchen, thinking, and hoping, that everybody would be in the living room, sitting around

and relaxing. I could grab a snack, and sit for a few minutes at the kitchen table.

And, the kitchen was empty. For the moment. I got down some crackers, and peanut butter, and a few pieces of the

dark chocolate candy that Hannah keeps on top of the refrigerator, and sat down at the table to eat.

"Hey. You're back," Adam said, coming into the kitchen, carrying an empty glass in his hand. Hannah was with him.

"How was your ride?" Adam asked me.

"It was good," I said, around my mouthful of crackers.

"Where's Ford?" Hannah asked.

"He's putting the horses up," I said.

Adam ran a hand over my shoulder on his way to the refrigerator, taking out the pitcher of sweet tea.

I watched him refill his tea glass, and Hannah, as she went to start cutting the cherry pie that was on the counter.

"I made you some strawberry shortcake," she told me. Hannah is really good about making me desserts that aren't

so bad for diabetes, so that I don't feel left out of dessert time.

"Thanks," I told her. I knew I only had a couple more minutes and Ford would be inside.

"I got a little dizzy earlier," I said, trying to sound casual. Nonchalant. As though it was no big deal. Which I didn't think

that it was, really.

Immediately, both of them paused in what they were doing, and turned their attention to me.

"You did?" Hannah asked, looking concerned.

"Just a little," I maintained.

Adam left his glass on the counter, and stepped over closer to where I was sitting. "How do you feel now?"

"Fine, now."

He reached out to lay a hand at the back of my neck.

"You're not warm," he determined, and I knew that he would now assume that it had to do with my diabetes, for sure.

"I think it was the sun," I said. "Or I stood up too fast or something. Ford and I were clowning around."

I was sorry to throw Ford under the bus that way, but it was better than having a whole lot of fussing.

"Yeah?" Adam said, looking skeptical.

"Uh huh," I said.

"Well, we'll see how you feel after a bit," Hannah said, and went back to cutting the pie, and putting the slices onto

small plates.

Adam was still standing there, beside my chair, looking at me with an 'I've got my eye on you' sort of look.

"Did you have somethin' with you to eat?" Adam asked.

I shook my head slightly.

"Aren't you supposed to?" he asked then. Ah. One of those rhetorical questions that adults like to ask.

"Yes. I forgot," I said.

Ford chose that moment to come inside, scraping his boots on the mat.

"Hi, Ford," Hannah greeted him. "I'm just now cutting the pie."

"Good. I'm ready for it," Ford said, going to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

Adam had gone back to begin refilling his tea glass by now, and Ford turned around to look at me, drying his

hands.

He gave me a questioning look, which I interpreted correctly.

"Yes, Ford," I said, in answer to that look. A bit irritated with him, I must admit.

"'Yes, Ford', what?" Adam asked, noticing the look between Ford and I.

"I told you about getting dizzy," I said, shortly, and got up to take my empty plate to the sink.

"Where you not going to tell us?" Adam asked, with a frown.

"I don't know," I said, fully irritated now. "Maybe not."

"Harlie," Hannah said, quietly reproving.

"This is why," I said. "Because everybody assumes right off that it has to do with the stupid diabetes. I told you that

it was the sun, or that I got up too fast or something. Good grief."

There was a charged silence for a few moments in the kitchen. Ford was giving me a 'you've got to be kidding' look; Hannah

looked sympathetic; and Adam was regarding me as if debating whether to tear my head off or not.

"Sorry," I said.

Ford cleared his throat a little, and said, in an off-hand way, "I've gotta be gettin' headed back."

"I packed you some cookies and things," Hannah told him. "And, aren't you going to eat your pie first?"

"Yeah. Let me grab my stuff, and then I'll have some," Ford said.

He gave me a wry smile, and left the kitchen.

"I'll go tell everybody dessert is out and ready," Hannah said, and she followed Ford.

I stood where I was, leaning against the counter by the sink. Adam took his glass of tea and went to sit

at the table, at Hannah's end.

"You've been hitting things pretty hard lately," Adam said. "Sort of burning the candle at both ends."

I didn't say anything. He was right. There was no point to deny it.

"Not gettin' enough rest could be contributing to things. The headaches you've been having, for instance," Adam said.

I blinked at him, wondering yet again how he did that. How did he always know things? I hadn't realized that I'd

made my headaches obvious.

I didn't deny the headaches, either. Again, there was no point.

"Plan on making it an early night tonight," Adam said. "No more of this staying up late."

Yet another thing I hadn't known he'd known.

"I haven't been," I said, in defense. "Not the last few nights, I haven't."

"Well, early to bed tonight," he said.

"Kenny was coming over," I said. "After supper, for a while."

"Fine," he said, standing up and scooting the chair up to the table. "But he heads home early and you're in bed

before nine. Hear me?"

I nodded, repressing my sigh.

7