KOBAYASHI MARU
Disclaimer: I don't own neither Harry Potter nor Naruto – I own only the OOC quirks of the characters and the story.
Shout Out: Alright, people, there's the third part of the Kobayashi Maru drabbles. I would like to thank everyone who reviewed the story, made it your favorite or just plain put an alert on it. This is for you, so enjoy!
Warning: Slash: Danzo/Harry, Shisui/Itachi, onesided Kakashi/Harry
91) Helix
Project Helix was known to almost none on the council, including Hokage. However, there were inquires about the strange new affinities emerging from Konoha forces.
92) Surprise
Much to Kakashi's surprise, the academy reports on his cute little Genins were a pure bullshit. Uchiha was cold and in avenger mindset for some reason, pinky was a hardcore fan girl, and the whiskers was the only one to be remotely aware what being ninja entailed.
93) Infamous
Most famous ninjas were well-documented in that Bingo book of theirs. However, there were rumors of a person, called Kobayashi Maru. The frustrating thing was, they knew nothing. No rank, no name, no specialties, no description, nothing! It was like chasing a ghost…
94) Grace
For someone so clumsy, Itachi pondered, Harry was surprisingly graceful, if only on a battlefield.
95) Absent
When Harry was absent, ROOT was hiding in their little hidey-holes. Danzo was a nigh insufferable son of a bitch those days, and even Hokage cowered in front of the grumpy, unhappy and miserable man. The only one, who was brave – or suicidal enough to approach him, was Naruto.
96) Young
"Hokage-sama, this is my spouse, Harry." Danzo introduced his mysterious partner to the aged man. The first thing Hiruzen had, was that Harry was awfully young for someone with so much battle experience.
97) Parseltongue
Even if Harry regularly spoke with his scaly friends slash protectors, courtesy of Manda, it never failed to spook his official human guards. Parseltongue was just creepy like that.
98) Redhead
For some reason, Harry had aversion to female redheads. Male ones were fine, but female redheads, he avoided in a huge curve whenever possible. Danzo got a kick out of it, though, much to Harry's pouting.
99) Awareness
The little Kitsune chibi never did manage to ambush his Midori-nii, no matter what he tried. The green eyed teen was simply too aware of his surroundings to fall in the little chibi's traps.
100) Sugar rush
Harry stared at the three boys, horrified. Manianical glitter in their eyes, check - inhumanly fast gibberish that constituted for a speech – check, bouncing off the walls – check. Itachi looked up, and grabbed one more stick of pocky, before he was ambushed by Shisui and Naruto. Carefully, Harry began to edge away from the trio, when he bumped into Danzo. "Harry, what - ?" Danzo began, confused, before Harry's hand slapped on his mouth. "Shhh!" Harry hissed fiercely. "They managed to find my emergency stash of sweets…" He gulped. Danzo's eyes widened. "The extra sweet one?" He inquired, his voice quivering with barely held back terror. Harry nodded solemnly. Danzo bit back a groan. "Let's hightail out of there," he muttered, massaging his temple. He already bemoaned the paperwork the three sugar-rush idiots would cause him to make.
Last time they got overdose on sugar, they painted Hyuuga's complex neon pink, and ANBU still didn't know just how it was done. Along with that, Hyuuga's had to wear neon green spandex for a week, because their clothes mysteriously… vanished.
Gai had been ecstatic.
Hiashi Hyuuga was not.
101) Puppy
One day, Harry had found a wounded white dog pup. He was on his way from buying groceries, when a miserable whine caught his attention. And on that day, he also got a new stalker, named Inuzuka Kiba.
Kiba still resented being called puppy. However, he allowed Harry to call him that. Anyone else was punished swiftly.
102) Stubborn
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, irritated. The Kitsune chibi was persistent, he gave him that, but following him everywhere, even into onsen when he wished to have some private time with his lover, was sheer stubbornness, and Harry wondered just why he had to pick, if not idiotic, a suicidal stalkers.
103) Addition
Harry looked at the shy boy/girl dryly. Danto was elsewhere, talking with Zabuza. Apparently, Naruto got in habit of picking up strays, just like his Papa. However, Harry still didn't expect he would bring back home human strays. Animal ones, Harry could bear with. Human ones were….different. He smiled at Haku, who blushed a healthy blush. "Welcome home, Haku." As soon as he spoke the words, he was almost bowled over with the force of hug Haku bestowed on him.
104) Interrogation
Cold green eyes looked at the smug prisoner. This one was too stubborn to listen to the reason, and the trouble was, they were forbidden to… harm him.
"It's your last chance." Harry murmured out, his voice a cold sleet of frozen silk. "You can tell us what we want to know, and nothing harmful would happen to you. But if you want to persist in your foolish course of action…" Harry leaned on the wall nonchalantly.
"Let's just say you wouldn't like the consequences."
The prisoner scoffed. "You have nothing on me, besides, if you harm me, it would cause an international accident and do you really want to have a war on your hands?" An arrogant sneer found its place on the man's face. "Try it, I dare you."
Harry pushed himself away from the wall. "As you wish." He replied, coldly. "Cruccio!"
Three minutes later, the man was sobbing with anguish as he confessed his crimes.
Ibiki stared.
Harry was one ruthless son of a bitch, and right now, Ibiki was feeling extremely lucky that Harry was on their side.
105) Haunted
When Harry came back from interrogation, his eyes were haunted, the memories of the war still dancing behind his eyelids.
Danto took one glance on him, before Harry was enveloped into a strong hug that was bordering on a painful one.
Gulping a bitter feeling down his throat, he at least felt a little cleaner…even if he just tortured a man half an hour before.
106) Rape
Inoichi knew he had done a colossal mistake, the moment he materialized himself in Harry's mindscape.
In his greed, curiosity and idiotic feeling of superiority, he invaded Harry's mind, just because he wanted to…what?
Instead of that, he found himself on a black field – black and red field, filled with corpses and blood and deadly silence.
It was even worse than the aftermath of Kyuubi's attack, feeling the death and despair of the place as is they were living breathing things.
He heard a screech, and just before the sharp white teeth of some predator clamped on him, he was whisked away.
Blinking stupidly, he winced at the pain in his head.
"Well?" He looked into those cold, green diamonds that constituted for Harry's eyes. "Are you happy now?" Harry seethed out, making Inoichi cringe. "Was your little trip worth it?"
Inoichi gulped. "I'm …sorry." An uncomfortable silence stretched between two males. "You know," Harry began slowly. "Where I came from, what you just did constitutes as a rape." Inoichi winced. "I - I didn't know…" He defended his actions feebly. A sharp grin on Harry's face told him that the green eyed male didn't believe it. "Really?" He cooed his voice a mixture of curiosity and disdain. "Then you wouldn't object if I do it for you….After all, fair is fair, no?"
Inoichi shuddered.
107) Retribution
Inoichi's actions were not swept under the rug, so to speak. The civilian elders lost their guards, and despite their complaints, Danzo refused to assign any of his ROOT to the blasted idiots that harmed his Harry – even if Inoichi apologized profusely for his actions. Also, the shinobi council was not very happy with the Yamanaka clan leader – especially Hokage and Ibiki. Ibiki even offered his services to Harry – and that was saying much, seeing that Inoichi was Ibiki's teacher in the art of interrogation. Anko just set the snakes in Inoichi's garden. Not that anyone could accuse her of that, but the summons were still here, scaring Ino and Inoichi's wife away.
Inoichi learned a valuable lesson.
And he also had a new fear.
108) Spar
When Zabuza foud out that Harry was a master of Nito-ryu style, he stalked and begged and wheedled the green eyed man – he wasn't so dumb to kidnap him and demand a spar. After a time, Harry complied, and Itachi finally had a laugh that someone other than him was a proverbial floor rag for Harry's sword skills.
109) Medic
Haku was happily learning all about healing, but Harry's potions still fascinated him the most. True, some of them he couldn't do, because they demanded an innate magical core to work, but those who he could, he perfected to the degree they were on a par, or even better than Harry's.
110) Training
Naruto stared, incredulous. Kakashi was a joke of a sensei. The straw-stuffed baka was for some reason, focused on Sasuke, while he, and the pink-furred banshee, called Sakura, were left behind. Again.
"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura drooled at the perfection that was the Uchiha heir. Naruto winced. How on earth had he chased after her in Academy, it would remain a mystery. He sighed. "Sakura, we have to train – ""Shut up!" Sakura screeched at him, making Naruto wince at the volume of her voice.
The blonde finally had had enough. "Fine, you pink banshee. But next time, don't expect of me to drag your ass out of trouble." Sakura opened her mouth to deny, but a sharp glare from those blue eyes stopped her.
"I'm outta there," Naruto announced, and a moment later, he Shinsuined away, making Sakura gape, Kakashi blink and Sasuke grit his teeth in anger.
111) Enough
Sasuke had enough of that pink blob who called herself the next Mrs. Uchiha. The girl was totally useless, making him and Naruto – since when Sasuke called him that? – protect her, and risk their own skin and limb because of her incompetence. But now, Naruto was. away, and Sasuke didn't like it!
Slowly exhaling, he looked at her shiny, big, cow eyes. "Haruno, I've had enough." He growled out, his Sharingan activation in his sheer frustration with the girl.
Kakashi blinked as the killing intent of his dark-haired student rose sharply.
It seemed that Sasuke finally reached the end of this particular rope, called patience.
112) Jealously
Dark eyes looked at the smiling blonde, as he chatted with that ice-freak happily. It wasn't fair! It should have been him there, him talking happily with his Naruto – him, and no one else!
On the branch above him, two ROOT ANBU stifled their snickers. Sasuke was just too cute in his cluelessness!
Hmm… Maybe they would give him a push? One of them nodded, an impish smirk concealed by the mask.
Sasuke yelped as he was pushed off the branch he had been crouching on, catching the attention of the pair.
Blue eyes widened. "Teme… Are you stalking me?" Naruto asked, dangerously.
Dark eyes glittered with mirth as they watched Sasuke stutter through his… reason.
'Good luck… Otouto.'
113) Temptation
Dark eyes looked at the vial with the blood. If he took this vial, he would be able to control Mokuton, the bloodline of the Senju clan. He would conquer –
He shook his head, blinking. Yes, he would…
But was having that cursed bloodline worth loosing Harry?
114) Stalk
Naruto shivered. Lately, the foxy blonde was increasingly paranoid, much to the amusement of his older brothers.
Here! No, there!
A hand twitched after kunai.
Blonde eyebrows scrunched with consternation, as blue eyes closed for a moment, before they opened, revealing furious blue orbs. "WILL YOU STOP STALKING ME ALREADY, TEME!"
A roar echoed through the village, freezing all who heard it.
115) Rival
Zabuza stared at the enthusiastic, spandex-green clad… thing, horrified. "No." he told the hopeful rival flatly. "Just… No." The thing pouted. "But why not?" He exclaimed, caterpillar eyebrows wiggling suggestively. "You would be a great rival, what with the stamina you have!" The former Mist-nin edged away from the enthusiastic shinobi carefully. "Besides, Gai-sensei approves of you – "
This was the moment when Zabuza decided that proving his courage was not worth of losing his common sense and hightailed out, his self-proclaimed youthful rival on his heels.
116) Fate
Haku twitched. He was tired of that Hyuuga fatalist yapping about fate. Fate this, fate that – "It was a fate that decided you will be my girlfriend," one Hyuuga Neji proclaimed solemnly. Usually gentle and mellow spirited, Haku was right now feeling anything but.
"You are fated to be gay?" He asked Neji bluntly. Opal eyes widened. "Wha – No!" Neji sputtered his face perfect mix between shock and disgust.
Haku smirked. "Well, my fate is that I am a man," He declared. "Good day, Hyuuga-san." He stalked away from the gawping guppy that was Hyuuga genius.
"Then why do you frequent the female half of the onsen?"
Oh, Neji just had to ask that, didn't he?
Haku's body stiffened. Thin, glittering senbon needles appeared between his fingers, glinting in the sunlight maliciously.
"Omae… O… Korosu!" Haku hissed out, before jumping at the Hyuuga genius, intent on demolishing the fool.
An hour later, Neji was found in the hospital, more reminiscent of a human porcupine than anything else.
117) Picture
Sai liked to paint. He specialized in ink animals that could be animated and sent against the enemy. But when Harry gifted him with a book of magical beasts, he was positively thrilled.
Shisui was not. Especially when one of those… Blast-Ended Skrewts set his pants on fire, when he mistook one for a chair and sat on it.
Sai had to hide for a month. And Naruto had pictures as a blackmail material.
118) Birthday
Danzo never did like to celebrate his birthday. He went as far as to erase all records of it. However, he was still pleasantly surprised, when he found Harry on their bed, with his arms cuffed together, and a large red bow on his privates – but having nothing else on his body.
Licking his lips, he stalked to his lover, delighting in a minute shiver that ran through that delicious body he would soon debauch with pleasure.
119) Refuse
Kakashi, no matter how hard he tried, couldn't persuade his ninken to sniff out his love.
"Leave him alone," Pakkun told him firmly. Kakashi blinked. "But why?" He asked, clueless. "Surely you could – "
Pakkun hissed. Not growled, but hissed. "Try to summon anyone of us to sniff Harry out, and your summoning contract will be terminated… Period."
Kakashi could only gape as Pakkun dismissed himself, leaving only a poof of smoke where he stood.
120) Buchou
Tenzo was calm, collected individual. A good ninja with a solid understanding of a world around him. Still, Harry baffled him – the man was a mass of contradictions; one moment, he could run hot, and the next one, he was colder than ice. He could be mean to the extreme, and he was also exceptionally generous.
He was also Tenzo's unofficial superior, and the pseudo-Mokuton carrier couldn't be happier for having such a good captain.
/To be continued/