KOBAYASHI MARU
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter – I only own the characters' quirks and the story as such.
Shout Out: Well, there you go - another part of Kobayashi Maru. As for Kakashi having his better half, I don't know who to pair him with, so I am open to suggestions. The story is reaching its' climax soon, and if you are a die-hard fan of series, this will be total AU from now on (as if it haven't been until now /snorts/) As for updating, it may not be so regular, because exams are dogging my brains… again. So I apologize in advance, and thank you for the support. You are all really awesome!
Warning: Slash: Danzo/Harry, Shisui/Itachi, onesided Kakashi/Harry, and generous Sakura bashing. Andmention of makeup – I mean, war paint. (Cough) Anyway, onward on the reading.
161) Youth
Harry listened to Gai's rants about power of youth half-heartedly. In fact, he amused himself with counting the number of times Gai used the 'youth' word.
His last count was… in five minutes, Gai used that word – which Harry began to despise terribly – no less than hundred times.
162) Glare
If they thought that Sharingan was terrifying, they didn't see Harry's glare. In fact, Harry's glare was, - ranking in a Konoha Shinobi Anonymous pool - ranked zero – even more terrifying than Mangekyo Sharingan, and that was saying something.
163) Make up
Kankuro pouted. He didn't find his war paint, and his reserves were empty – ahem, Temari stole his last complet, as to pretty herself up for some Uzumaki guy.
Luckily, he found another case. When he grabbed it, a small white dog growled at him.
»Hey!« That's my case!« The feral-looking guy howled, fangs glinting in the sun.
'Oh, no…' Kankuro suppressed his desire to make the dog-boy his personal puppet. »No, it's mine! I saw it first!« He retorted, dark eyes glinting with determination.
And the tug war was on.
Nobody noticed a shadow behind them.
»Ki-ba…« Hana, Kiba's sister drawled out sweetly. »That wouldn't happen to be MY make up case, would it?«
Kiba gulped.
»Eep?« He offered meekly.
She snarled, white fangs glinting in the sun.
The next second, both of the unfortunate users of make-up – ahem war paint, were streaking throught the village, screaming bloody murder, with furious Hana behind them.
164) Coffee
If there was any vice both Harry and Ibiki shamelessly indulged, besides their talks, was piping hot, black coffee with no sugar added.
165) Found
Harry was in middle of talks with grocer, when a red blur knocked into him. "Oof!" He choked up, gasping for breath, as his hands automatically embraced the trembling Suna Genin. "Steady, my little spitfire. I won't go anywhere right now," he muttered into the boy's red hair affectionately.
The vendor just sweatdropped, while women squealed at the cuteness of the scene.
166) Dumpling
Nobody knew, but the Last Chip No Jutsu was based on Harry's food. Once, Harry was cooking for his strays - ROOT ANBU moaned and groaned about it, by the way, until Harry became exasperated and kicked them out of his kitchen.
When Chouji tasted Harry's food for the first time, he was moved to tears, so delicious it was. However, when one of the ANBU moved to eat the last dumpling, he was flattened by a chubby – never say fat – child who snatched the dumpling out of his hand and quickly gobbled it up.
The Last Chip No Jutsu was therefore ranked as an unofficial S-class jutsu, right along with Naruto's pervert weeder, Oiroke
167) Alone
Baki sweatdropped. Usually a good unit, his Genin team was now nowhere to be seen. Temari was doing who-knows-what – Baki didn't want to know, he wanted to preserve his health and sanity, thank you very much – Kankuro was heard hollering as he ran from the furious Inuzuka heiress, and the last one Gaara – He blinked as a proverbial bulb lit on his head. Didn't Midori-san live in that village now?
He sighed. "They grow up so fast," he moaned out, tear tracks on his weathered skin glittering with anime tears.
168) Convert
Harry blinked as he saw the flyer landing on top of his head. "What the…?" he muttered. His eyed widened when he found out what exactly was written on the flyer.
Apparently the Chunin exams will be very…memorable, what with Kurenai and Anko trying to convert the next generation of kunoichi to yaoi-ism.
He shuddered. Jade eyes blinked up at him innocently. "Harry-nii, what is yaoi?" Gaara asked him cutely.
Harry yelped, hurriedly balled the flyer into a small ball and threw it far, far away.
It seemed, he gulped, that he would once again, have to explain… facts of life to innocent mind.
He really, really didn't sign up for that.
169) Music
One of Harry's rare joys in life, was music.
But what he really didn't expect, was for one foul-mouther kunoichi practically begging him to teach her his… jutsu.
Harry sighed, wearily. "Tayuya, for the last time, there are no jutsus!"
The Oto kunoichi blinked. "The fuck are not!" She retorted, hot head as she was. "Nobody could fucking play like that and not have a god-damned jutsu for that!"
170) Jealously
Naruto watched sourly as the red haired upstard snuggled into Harry's side contentedly. His cheeks puffed up with anger. That was his place! How dare that – that stinky racoon claim it for himself!
The imaginary kitsune ears were laying low as he growled cutely, Kyuubi agreeing whole heartedly with his host.
171) Silent
When the night fall down, and they finally had a time for themselves, Danzo smiled at the green-eyed man tenderly.
Harry motioned him to be silent, and then, he lead him onto the flat roof, which was teeming with green grass and fragrant roses. Dark eyes widened, and Danzo couldn't supress a gasp at the beauty of the small garden.
Harry smiled at him. "I warded it so no one will bother us," he explained, his voice hushed. "It's a place for us."
Danzo hugged his lover, as tear slid down one weathered cheek.
They stood in the garden, embracing silently, just listening to the beat of their hearts.
172) Peacock
Naruto looked balefully as Sasuke announced to all of the Genius that this… entrance was a bull.
His fist itched to be bonked on the stupid teme's head. Didn't that stupid peacock knew that this particular genjutsu was here to weed out the failures, or was he just to dumb to perceive strategic thinking?
When he saw Sasuke looking at him from the corner of one dark eye, he sweatdropped.
Dumb it was, then.
Groaning silently, he trudged through the door, not acknowledging the bewildered Uchiha.
173) Woes
At first, it was funny, watching Sasuke's woes regarding the blonde kitsune. But right now, it was painful to watch. Itachi and Shisui sighed in unison. Sasuke was doing everything he shouldn't have to… woo Naruto, and they were sick and tired of correcting his mistakes.
Shisui grimaced. "I quit." He announced with a sour voice. He looked at equally sour-faced Itachi. "Wanna help me raid for Harry's apple pie?" He asked. Itachi immediately perked up. "What are we waiting for, then? Let's go!"
And the pair jumped away, their masks wet with saliva at the tought of Harry's magnificient apple pie.
174) Retard
Sakura looked at herself in the mirror. Her best pink and white dress, check – black underpants, check, her hair gleaming, glittery pink – check, her headband cutely tied around her head, check, a small amount of pink gloss on her lips, check – a pouch of kunai and shuriken – check, and black sandals – check.
She smiled, satisfied. Sasuke will be bowled over by her prettiness, guaranteed!
She flounced out, not noticing the seasoned ninjas looking at her with horrified fascination.
What kind of a ninja retard choose bright colors - much less hot pink and white - to wear on a mission, anyway?
175) Changed
Hinata glared at her brat of a sister harshly. "No." She declined, her voice firm. "And if you don't quit whining right now, " she growled out menacingly, causing the Hyuuga witnesses to gape at the changed Hinata, "I will spank you like the brat you are."
Hiashi choked with surprise. That Hinata was so…determined and full of fire. Hanabi pouted. Even if Hyuuga don't pout. "But nee-sama!" She whined.
Hinata glared at Hanabi. Usually, she would meekly back off, but that apparently wasn't the day.
Hanbi snapped her mouth shut, shuddering slightly. Hinata had changed, and Hanabi had a feeling her big sister won't be so meek against her anymore.
176) Ramen
Teuchi may just be a ramen vendor, but he was, first and foremost, a good judge of human characters. He may not be professional, like Ibiki or Inoichi, but he was still pretty accurate - or at least more accurate than his fellow peers.
And so, when the Kitsune chibi dragged in green-eyed man, chattering incessantly, while the teen listened to him indulgently, he couldn't help but like his new customer immediately.
178) Roses
Haku yelped as the roses were thrust into his face.
Of course, they were creamy color with a hint of orange at the edges, and fragrant…
He inhaled the sweet scent, smiling blissfully, before he froze.
Dark brown eyes looked up into smug opalescent ones.
But to his surprise, Neji didn't say anything, just thrust the bouquet in the surprised ice-user hands and marched away, not giving Haku a chance for protest.
And deny it as he may, Haku found out that this bouquet was a highlight of his day.
179) Stare
They stared. And stared. And stared.
Black eyes looked into jade ones, before they watered.
"Dammit, you win," Zabuza grumbled out, pouting. Gaara smirked.
All hail Gaara, the King of Stares.
180) Snake
Harry's eyes narrowed as he felt the snake summons burst in life. It could be Anko, but he doubted it. Firstly, why would she summon snakes, right in the middle of second exam, and second, the energy was all wrong.
That only left one possibility –
Orochimaru was back, and ready for revenge.
Harry's eyebrow twitched with irritation. "It seems that I will have to make…additional talks with Manda," he grumbled out, peeved.
Itachi shuddered at the green-eyed man foreboding tone of voice.
It seemed they will have snake meat for a long, long time to eat.
/To be Continued/