A/N: Remember to review you guys!
Jeff had made it through all of his classes without having to see his study group. He didn't even know how he pulled it off; they were usually stalking him from afar. Regardless, he had to see them now anyway. It was study group, and as much as he would have liked to skip again, he knew he couldn't keep avoiding his friends. He wasn't too worried though; he had been trying to change himself back to how he used to be: selfish, narcissistic and lazy. Also rakishly good looking, but that trait never left in the first place. They only real obstacles he had to get over today were talking to both Annie about the weekend and his soon to be ex-girlfriend when he got home. He really didn't want to upset Natalie, but she was a mature woman and would get over it. As cliché as it sounded, it wasn't her, it was him. He was going back to his old way of life, and that meant if they stayed together Jeff would most definitely hurt her. A little part of him also wondered how Annie would take his personality change. Well, if she was mad about it, he didn't care anymore. Old Jeff didn't care for anyone except himself. The only way he'd care for other people is if there was something in it for him. And since in this case there wasn't, he could be a selfish prick and the most his friends would be is disappointed. And he could live with that.
He really wanted to be a lawyer again.
As Jeff sauntered into Study Room F, he grinned when all his friends looked up at him eagerly, even Annie. There wasn't any doubt in his mind that they wanted to know how everything was now between him and his girlfriend. "You guys, everything's fine with me and Natalie. We're fine." He took a moment to gauge the reactions that followed. Abed of course looked neutral about the whole thing, and Troy looked slightly upset. Jeff guessed that this was because he had spent the majority of his time in the last 2 days trying to make Annie feel better. Britta looked oddly happy for Jeff, which made him cringe a little bit. Shirley also looked happy, probably because Natalie gave her some more competition in the kitchen. Friendly competition, of course. Pierce looked rather put out, probably because he was still waiting for Jeff to bomb with Natalie. He gets to make fun of me soon enough, thought Jeff as he sat down. Only when he was taking out his books did he look at Annie. She was actually looking at him too, and had a smile on her face. He didn't know if it was fake or real, but it was one that he hadn't seen before on her face. He didn't really know how to describe it, but he opted not to smile back at her. Regardless of his decision to move back into his old ways, Jeff was still mad at her for embarrassing him on Sunday. She frowned when he didn't return her smile and opened up her binder to hand him biology notes she photocopied as usual.
"Jeff, here are your biology notes for this week – "Jeff slid them back across the table towards her. "I actually took notes already yesterday, thanks though," he lied. The group gasped at this information, and Britta smirked at him. "Really, Jeff? You took notes already? How could you possibly care enough to actually pay attention in a class?" Jeff turned around to glare at her. "Well Britta, when you've already been kicked out once and your prof used to be a prison inmate, you tend to take things a bit more seriously, okay?" Annie only said "Oh" as she silently went back to her text book highlighting.
Studying resumed after this as usual, and Annie actually seemed more engaging than she had been in a while. Jeff could tell she wasn't all there though. She took a while to answer the group's questions and was spacing out more than usual. She didn't look upset though; she just looked like something was on her mind. Jeff's actual studying had declined though. He was sticking to his new/old plan of not caring anymore. It was actually a good feeling that he was surprised he missed. The group noticed his lack of motivation, and remarkably, no one said anything. Jeff assumed this was probably just because they thought he was still upset about Sunday. He supposed they weren't completely wrong either. When everyone was getting ready to leave, Annie took a long time to put her books away and Jeff got the message, doing the same. After about a minute, it was just the two of them in the study room.
Annie looked like she was actually prepared for this conversation, which didn't necessarily surprise Jeff. It was Annie after all. She cleared her throat a bit before starting out. "Jeff. Thanks for not walking out right away." He didn't say anything to this, and she understood this as her signal to keep going. She stood up slowly before looking down at him. "Jeff, I am so sorry. I...I don't know what got into me on Sunday."
"Alcohol", murmured Jeff.
Annie sighed and resumed her apology. "Yeah...I've never been that drunk, and according to Abed I was being pretty stupid. I already talked to Pierce about it though. He agreed not to mess with my drinks anymore if I agreed to still be his favourite in the group." Jeff just shook his head before getting up himself and grabbing his books. "Yeah well Natalie and I are good now, so apology accepted. I'll see you tomorrow." Annie stood there, dumbfounded as he headed towards the door. "That's it? You don't even wanna talk about us or anything?" Jeff just sighed and turned around. "Annie, we talked about us on Sunday before my party. Look how well that turned out. No, I don't really wanna talk about us. Look, its fine alright? I'm totally cool with us going back to being friends. We all make stupid decisions and I guess I'm in no position to say I didn't deserve you being the one who's jealous for once. Resolved?" Annie studied his face for a moment before replying. He looked sincere, but also a little irritated and eager to leave. She sighed and said "Resolved." Jeff smiled at her, but she could tell that it was fake. "Well then, I guess I'll be going. Later, Annie." She just waved at him as he walked out of the study room. She slumped back into her chair, staring at nothing.
She was at least hoping for a hug or something.
Jeff didn't necessarily feel good about how he basically shut out Annie during her apology, but he needed to do that if he was going to start not caring again. As he walked up to his door, he grinned to himself. The first difficult part of today was now over. Now he just had to take care of his girlfriend. The plan now was to get some take out, secretly watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey, shower, work out for a bit, mentally prepare himself for maybe an hour or so, and then go to Natalie's and break the news to her. Of course, all of that went down the toilet when he walked into his apartment and found his girlfriend in his kitchen cooking dinner. "Surprise, babe!" The redhead ran up to him and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. Jeff smiled awkwardly. "Uh, hey. What's all this? And how did you get in?" Natalie beamed at him before returning to the kitchen. "Well I wanted to make you dinner tonight to make up for last night. I know that couldn't have been fun for you, and I felt bad. Also, you gave me a spare key! You're so forgetful!" She laughed and he hung up his coat, sighing to himself. Of course I did. New Jeff made some bad decisions. This is going to be harder than I thought." He sat on the couch and she joined him shortly after, snuggling up to him and taking the television remote off the coffee table. "So how was your day today? Did you talk to your friends about us? They know we're all good now right?" Jeff just shifted awkwardly beside her before answering. "Yeah, they were fine." Natalie stopped flipping through channels and looked up at him, worried. "Is something wrong, Jeff? You don't sound too happy." Jeff took a deep breath.
This is the best opening I'm going to get.
The following hour or so filled Jeff's apartment with one sided yelling, various loud noises and the smell of food that had been clearly burnt from lack of attention. Natalie was crying, and Jeff felt genuinely terrible. This was so difficult. He'd dropped girls in the past, but this was his first committed relationship since Slater. And in that relationship he was the dumpee. But he just spent most of the hour listening to her yell while he was trying to explain things in a civil tone. She was having none of that though. She had reached octaves that he hadn't even heard in the bedroom on good nights, and to be honest that insulted him just a little bit. Jeff was more surprised that she was this upset in the first place though. He didn't think Natalie would care this much. She seemed so independent and put together, and even though he knew she'd be upset, he didn't think she'd turn on the rage so easily. Finally, the part of the break-up he'd been dreading had decided to poke its ugly head.
"This is about Annie, isn't it? You still have feelings for her, don't you?"
Jeff groaned. "No, Natalie. It has nothing to do with Annie. I can't be in a committed relationship with anyone right now. Like I told you before, it took me a long time to get to this point, and this whole thing is starting to make me feel pretty claustrophobic again-"
"Oh my god, Jeff! Shut up! I'm so tired of you blaming this whole thing on your inability act like an adult! For goodness sakes, you're going on 35 years old! Just because you're ashamed of having the hots for some form fitting brunette who's like 15 years younger than you doesn't mean you have to cut out women who are actually mature enough to deal with your shit!" Jeff was offended now. "Deal with my shit? Natalie, there's nothing to deal with. I just admitted that there were some problems I have because of how I used to act before I met you, but since you're refusing to accept that as a valid excuse at the moment, I'm pretty sure I was otherwise the perfect boyfriend." Natalie scoffed at him. "You are so egotistical. For one thing, you weren't the perfect boyfriend, because a perfect boyfriend wouldn't leave me to go do dirty things with a naive and stupid co-ed girl! I don't even know what you see in her, Jeff. She's insecure, completely immature and clearly doesn't know a thing about alcohol. And even if she was drunk, she probably wasn't so bad that she would clearly try and make things awkward with us without knowing what she was doing on some level. She's a bitch, Jeff. She probably doesn't even know how to deal with actual real life problems, and I feel bad for when she's on her own in the world."
Now Jeff was flat out angry. "Spoken just like someone who knows absolutely nothing about her. You're completely wrong about Annie. First of all, she's been on her own for basically her whole life up to about 3 years ago. You have no idea what she's been through, and if you did, you'd take back what you just said in a heartbeat. She is one of the strongest women I've ever met, and yeah, I said 'women' because she's one of the most mature friends I have. She's miles more mature than you're being right now anyway. She's also compassionate, cheerful, caring and she tries extremely hard in everything she does. Her smile never leaves her face, even if she's having a bad day, which is usually enough to brighten the rest of our moods. And that's probably why these past few weeks have sucked so much. Seeing her so depressed killed me inside. Oh and another thing: Annie might have made some bad decisions on Sunday, but that was because she couldn't bear to see me and you together. She isn't a bitch; she's a human being who's capable of having their heart broken. And if Pierce hadn't fucked with her drinks then she wouldn't have even been that bad. And you wanna know something else? The only reason she came on Sunday at all was because she wanted to be happy for us. She cares a lot about me, and despite her feelings, she was willing to put that aside so she could see me happy because I was concerned about what our relationship was doing to her. See, Annie is always putting people before herself. But like you said, she's only twenty and she can only go so far before breaking herself. And I feel so terrible about putting her through all that. She cares about her friends more than anyone else, and that's probably because she's been abandoned by everyone else in her life including her parents. So I'm not gonna stand here and let you squander that like it means nothing. Because the reality of it all is that Annie was forced to grow up faster than everyone else. She was forced to become an independent woman when everyone else her age was still being stupid and making dumb decisions like teenagers are supposed to. So I think she's entitled to one bad night to put up with all the crap life's put her through. She deserves more respect than you could ever hope to give anyone, and to insult her like that is to insult myself, so I would appreciate it if you please left my apartment."
Natalie didn't move but she seemed less tense. Jeff guessed she was beginning to regret what she said. On some level he couldn't blame her for being angry though; after all she was just broken up with. Besides, Jeff knew she was still a good person. She looked rather confused and curious now though. "So if Annie's so important Jeff, then why did you even want to date me?" Jeff thought about this for a few tense moments before turning to glance out of his window overlooking the city. "I...I was running away. Annie means more to me than anyone, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it. She was all I thought about during Christmas break, and even before that during school. But acting on a potential relationship with her was something I kept telling myself I shouldn't do, for reasons I don't even really think are valid anymore. I would have done anything to get away from the feelings I had for her. But they were there, and they grew bigger and bigger, until I was just about ready to burst. Then I met you, and you made me feel like I was moving on with my life. And being with you was great, but eventually I realized that you just...weren't Annie. So now we're here. I guess it seems like I used you, and I really am sorry about that. But I just needed someone to distract me from what I perceived as inappropriate and wrong. The feelings I had for Annie were so strong that I opted to get into another relationship so I would be forced into not thinking about her. What I told you about changing back into my old self wasn't a lie either. I really was planning on doing that. But I think everything that's happened tonight has made me realize that I don't want to change back after all. Because if I go back to the way I used to be, that means I'd eventually lose Annie all together. And that's something I don't even think the old Jeff could bear."
Jeff was talking to himself more than Natalie now. But when he realized it was oddly quiet, he turned around and noticed she wasn't in the room. Her coat was gone, and when he glanced down at the coffee table he saw a tiny piece of scrap paper lying on it that hadn't been there before. On top of the note was his spare key. He opened up the note and read Natalie's handwriting. The four words she had written hit him like a ton of bricks.
Go get her, Jeff.