"Yes, yes. I'm fine."
Moritz released his hold on the Rilow girl's shoulders. He took a step backwards to give Elise room. "It was my fault, really. I should have watched my footing," Elise admitted. She curtsied in gratitude to Moritz who merely shoved his hands back into his pockets. He looked up at the sky. "Hello, Moritz!" Wendla went over to greet her old playmate when Thea held her shoulder. Elise folded her arms and scooted next to him. "What are you looking at, Moritz?" His eyes widened. Elise turned back to her friends, widening her own eyes in exasperation as Moritz took another step away from her.
Thea shrugged. "Well, we'd be be going back to Martha and Anna. Come on Wendla. Lovely to see you, Moritz!"
The two girls half-skipped and half-ran away leaving Elise with Moritz. "Moritz?" The boy half looked at Hanschen's sister. "Is there something the matter? Why are you acting so strangely all of a sudden?"
He knew what she was talking about. He couldn't bear to tell her that her nude form haunted his dreams each night for the past three days.
"No reason," he said softly. Elise placed her hand on his arm. "You can tell me anything, Moritz. We're friends, remember?" Moritz shook his head. "I-It's just." Elise was confused. Moritz had been fine on Sunday when they were spending time together, just the two of them in the forest. "You were quite fine around me Sunday, remember Moritz?" "Yes, I do." "Then what is the problem? Moritz..."
He could hear the tears choking in her throat. He gave an exasperated sigh. "It's complicated, Lise," he admitted lamely. She pouted childishly. "How so?" Moritz shook his head once more sitting down and holding his knees. "You honestly would not understand it," he told her, staring up at the blonde. "I'm not as naive as I come across, Moritz. I'm not like them." She nodded back to the direction Wendla and Thea had left.
"I never said you were stupid Lise. L-Look, I just came to tell you I'm sorry. I d-don't mean to be ignoring you. It's just. I-I can't spend time with you anymore." Elise stared back at him in disbelief. "What? Why? Did I do something wrong?" Moritz turned his attention to the grass on the ground. His fingers ran through the green pulling at them. "Did I upset you in any way? Because if I did, I did not mean to," Elise said desperately. "I was merely trying to help you study." "I-It's nothing like that. I-I just need to have complete focus on my work right now," he told her lamely. "Then it is no problem, I-I'll help you, Moritz." "No." "Why not? We work well together! "Lise, please!" Elise curled her hands into fists. "Moritz Stiefel, you are a fool to deny help! I offered my friendship and help towards you and you act completely rude to me!"
"I-If anyone is rude here, it is you, Elise!" Moritz jumped to his feet pointing at the bewildered girl. "You prance around here wildly, flirting with everyone who crosses your path! You temptress! You little temptress!"
The early December wind whistled through the quiet wooded hill. Elise's face turned fiery red. Her eyes overflowed with tears. She clutched her chest as if in great pain. "G-God, another day w-where I have to hear this," she sobbed angrly. Her hand shot out, grabbing the blanket she'd dropped from her fall. Wrapping it around her shoulders Elise kicked the ground. "It is bad enough my own brother calls me a harlot. But now my friend does this as well?" She shook her head. "Mama and Papa were right. I SHOULD stay away from you! You foolish slacker! Y-You have no maners"
With that she turned on her heel and sprinted away, leaving Moritz standing there. He sunk back to his knees, clutching his head. "Oh, I am fortune's fool."
A little angsty Shakespeare seemed appropriate for this situation.
Elise nearly fell over as she ran. Her body wracked with sobs. How could Moritz do this? She thought they were friends. And she cared for him. Truly, she cared for the sleepyhead. She felt a strong pull to him, as if she were a mouse drawn to a piece of cheese spilled on the floor.
She was not a temptress! She merely tried to be friendly with everyone she met. She had no sinful intentions in mind. Sure, she might be tempted on a daily basis to run right out the door into the freedom of the woods and open air. But never would she tempt a man with her being. Why would Moritz think this anyway? "Lise? Lise?" Martha ran up to the crying girl circling her arms around her. Elise wiped her nose with her sleeve.
"I-I can't u-understand him!
The four other girls sat around in a circle, their knees pulled close to their chests. Elise pulled the blanket tightly around her. "Why can't you two see each other," Wendla asked, not entirely understanding. Elise's sleeve wiped against her nose again. She gasped and hiccupped. "H-He says he h-has to focus on s-schoolwork." "Then what is the problem?" "He called her a harlot, Wendla," Anna told her. "Harlot," Elise repeated.
She sniffed. "H-He called me a f-flirt. I-I'm not! I-I am not a flirt, am I?" Martha threw her arms around Elise comfortingly. "No, you're not. You are a friendly person and everyone enjoys your company. I'm sure Moritz was just upset about something else. He didn't mean to call you a..harlot."
"Elise, you should just not talk to him any longer." "Yes, th-that is what everyone is t-telling me." She shook her head. "B-But I cannot." Thea scooted over curiously. "Why not?" Elise sighed at her friend and blew her nose in her handkerchief. She uttered a loud hacking cough, bending over to cover her lips. "Elise?"
"L-Lise?"
Thea narrowed her eyes. "Go away."
Moritz staggered down the path to the girls. His eyes were red and face blotchy. He'd obviously been crying, Thea decided. "T-Thea, p-please." "Moritz, she is obviously upset with you. Please leave," Wendla muttered, not upset yet not pleased with Moritz. He stepped forward testing the waters. The tension was quite present in the area. Thea and Anna looked angry, Wendla seemed numb, and Martha was just staring at him disapprovingly.
Elise covered her eyes, refusing to meet Moritz's eyes. He could see her hands were wet from her tears. He felt completely horrible. "Lise," he called to her. Martha whispered something in her ear. Elise shook her head and buried her face in Martha's shoulder. The girl's shoulders shook. "Moritz, please," Wendla begged. "You really hurt her. I think you should follow through with what you said and leave her alone," Anna added.
"C-C-Can I just t-talk to Li-"
"M-Moritz, please!"
Elise wiped her eyes. She shakily stood on her feet. "M-Moritz, please, g-go." Mortiz's face fell. "L-Lise, I-I'm sorry!" She shook her head. "A-Are you?" "Please, for o-our friendship." Elise's heart broke more. She uttered a loud cry of sorrow. Martha held her shaking shoulders tightly. "I-If we w-were friends on Sunday, t-then why d-did you call m-me a-a-?" She stopped, breaking down into sobs. Why? It was all she wanted to know. Why did Moritz change so suddenly? He was so friendly Sunday. Now, he was insulting her and causing this emotional pain.
"Elise, let us go. You're getting ill," ordered Thea. The girls surrounded their crying friend. Anna merely glared at Moritz before leaving with a solemn-faced Wendla. Martha followed them as Thea told her she would walk Elise home. "Keep the blanket," Martha told Elise, a flash of fear crossing her face. Thea linked arms with Elise, who was completely silent. Her sobs had ceased. A kind of tranquility came over her.
"You start walking," said Thea. Elise slowly shuffled away from her friend and Moritz. The shorter girl whirled around to face Moritz. She slapped his arm. "You complete dummkopf," she hissed. "T-Thea, stop," Moritz pleaded. "Y-You don't u-understand." "I understand that you hurt her feelings!" Moritz eyed the grass shamefully. "How could you do this, Moritz? It is not in your character at all to call a girl a name like that, much less speak to one."
She added the last part quietly, but Mortiz could hear her perfectly.
She turned away, her braids whipping his arm. "Just leave her alone for now on! She was only trying to help you, and you ruined it. Good luck keeping Hanschen off your back," Thea warned him harshly. The girl turned to walk away before Moritz grabbed a hold on her arm. "Thea, p-please. Y-You have to believe me. I-I'm truly sorry for what I said to Elise." Thea jerked her arm back. "If you are sorry, you won't bother Lise again."
Moritz leaned against a tree, his knees growing weak, watching Thea run after her friends. "I'm sorry," he said to the empty space in front of him. "I'm so sorry."
That Sunday, the entire town crowded into the church for Father Kaulbach's sermon. The choir of young people took their places in a special pew. Wendla glanced over at Elise. The Rilow girl was pale and red-eyed. Elise, Wendla, Thea, and Ernst joined Bobby Maler, Anna, Hanschen, and two of the older boys at the pew. Bobby took his place in the back right next to Hanschen. His fingers lightly grazed over Hanschen's thigh, causing shivers to travel up the blonde's spine.
He quickly swatted Bobby giving him a look. Bobby rolled his eyes at Hanschen's look but removed his fingers. Ernst heard the slap and turned backwards. Hanschen merely smirked and gave the boy a little waggle of his fingers in greeting. Fraulein Grossenbustenhalter cleared her throat. The children straightened their posture. She motioned Elise to step forward in front of the entire church. Hanschen, though he was still angry at Elise for last Sunday, felt pride as his sister took her place in front of the piano.
She was finally doing something right, Hanschen thought. He'd found that Elise had been well-behaved since Thursday. She spoke politely, using her manners all the time. On Friday, when all of the boys were meeting Hanschen for a Latin session, Elise had retreated to her bedroom instead of sitting alongside them. He found Moritz Stiefel to be quieter than usual too. Hanschen had merely smiled contently and turned to Ernst, aiding him on Virgil's poems.
Elise's eyes scanned the congregation. Her Mama and Papa were beaming proudly at her. Melchior Gabor was absent, as usual, though his mother sat with Herr and Frau Stiefel. Moritz was looking down at his hands. Her mouth went dry.
Georg played a piano scale, informing Elise that he would be beginning the song in a second. She cleared her throat nervously. Georg played the first note. "Ave Maria," she sang strongly. Moritz picked up his head at the clarity and strength of the girl's voice. "Gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena." Her confidence soared at the smiling and amazed faces. Elise smiled back at Georg as she sang, who nodded back at her.
Moritz couldn't believe how beautiful her voice was. He straightened his posture. Herr Stiefel glanced back to his son. Moritz looked wide awake, but pale. At least he is not sleeping, Herr Stiefel thought.
Elise finished the song strongly, her hands folding in front of her. The congregation applauded politely. Martha was beaming at her. Her Mama and Papa had wide smiles on their faces. Even Hanschen was grinning proudly at her. Her heart felt full. She felt free. It was the only time she was truly able to express herself. Father Kaulbach bowed his head at her, the signal for the choir to prepare for the next psalm.
Hanschen squeezed his sister's hand as she walked by him. "I am proud of you, sister," he whispered. Elise smiled. "Danke," she thanked. The mass passed by fairly quickly afterwards. The choir was able to get through all of the psalms. This was mostly due to Melchior being absent, Elise noticed.
Afterwards many people came up to her and Hanschen, congratulating the sister on her beautiful voice and the brother for helping raise such a "child of God". "Well, she does tend to succeed when she listens to me," Hanschen said good naturedly.
Moritz made his way through the crowd to Elise. He felt completely horrible about Thursday and wanted to make up for it. He managed to slink past Hanschen who was speaking angrly to Bobby Maler in a corner. Elise laughed at Georg, who was nervously trying to hold a conversation with Fraulein Grossenbustenhalter. She bid them goodbye before bumping into Moritz. Her eyes turned cold as Moritz held out his hand. "C-Congratulations, Lise. You sounded wunderbar," Moritz managed to say. Elise glared back. "Danke," she said coldly. She went to walk away but Moritz took a hold on her arm.
"Let go of me, Moritz," she hissed. "Not until you listen to me," he whispered hurridly. "You want to talk to me? I thought I was too much of a temptress to speak to." Moritz flinched from the venom in her tone. "Q-Quiet your voice," he begged. A few of the adults were begining to stare at the arguing teenagers. Elise slapped Moritz's hand away. "Go away." "Elise, please, let me try to justify this. I am asking you; just ten minutes," bargained Moritz.
Elise considered this. "..Six." "Ten." "..Seven." "Ten." "Seven or I tell Hanschen what you called me," threatened the girl. "Alright, seven. Can we please go outside?" Elise's cream colored sleeves folded across her chest, wincing slightly. Moritz held out his arm to her, smiling uncomfortably. Sighing, Elise took his arm and walked silently with him outside. They managed to sneak past Elise's parents and brother as they exited the church. Moritz took Elise to the graveyard behind the building. It was scaring Elise to be by the graves of those she'd known and not known. "You alright?" Elise folded her arms over her chest again. "You have seven minutes starting now," she warned him.
"I-I did not mean to call you a temptress. Honestly, i-it's just complicated."
"You keep saying that, Moritz, and yet it doesn't make sense to me," argued Elise. "You say I will not understand, but you forget that I am different than other girls." Moritz pinched the bridge of his nose. He was trying to explain this in a way that would not become awkward. "Lise, I really don't know how to say this." "Just say it," she said simply. Elise walked over to Moritz. "Moritz, we shared a special moment in the clearing on Sunday. Something grew between us. A friendship blossomed that day. What happened to it?"
His heart jumped. Special moment? Did she mean..
He couldn't speak. Elise took his hands in hers and looked at his stunned eyes with her emotional ones.
"Moritz, we shared a close moment. When you took me through the woods away from my brother, I had the most wonderful feeling ever! I felt so free from my life! You have no idea how suffocating my life has become here." Tears started streaming down her cheeks. Elise sniffed. Her pale fingers brushed away the liquid. Moritz smiled softly. "What went wrong? Did you forget how you felt when we spoke? When I listened to you about Ilse, you must have felt some sort of relief and understanding."
Moritz laughed a little. "Understanding," he said to himself. "That is the thing, I do not understand." "Understand what," asked Elise. Moritz shook his head, feeling emotional himself. "Everything. No one tells me anything. I feel as you do; as if I am suffocating. At school, I cannot focus. I cannot comprehend the lessons and restrictions." He inhaled a shuddering breath. Elise saw his shoulders shaking. Moritz was getting very emotional now, tears threatening to spill over.
"A-At home, my f-father..he screams at me to study. A-And-"
He couldn't inform Elise of the abuse that occured. She would not understand it now. Not at this point in time.
"Moritz."
Elise saw the tears falling from his eyes. Moritz didn't dare burst into sobs right in front of Elise. He just shrugged as the silent cries wracked through him. Elise threw herself into his arms, comforting herself and him. "Gott, Elise," he breathed. This time when he hugged her, it wasn't awkward. It was comforting. His heart felt full. All of his problems melted away. "I'm so sorry, Moritz. I-I didn't know," she cried to him. "It's fine," he murmured into her ear. "Y-You understand me." "T-This is why you changed towards me?" He nodded and broke away from the hug. "It is the confusion, Lise. I'm not understanding what is going on with me, with my body."
"Your body?"
"My feelings, my emotions. Elise, it distracts me in my waking moments. How I feel towards people is so confusing. I do not know how to express this all." Elise took his hands in hers again, placing one on her heart. "And how do you feel about me," she asked in a small voice. Moritz stopped and thought. How did he feel? Well, that was the question, wasn't it? He went in as if to kiss her, but instead embraced her. Elise wrapped her arms around Moritz's neck.
"I do not know yet," he murmured honestly. "You do not know?" "E-Elise, feelings confuse me greatly. I-I feel something towards you, I do. You're special to me. Just how special I am not sure of yet." He placed his hand on her cheek. "Words cannot express how sorry I am for calling you a-a-" "Forget it," Elise said, happiness threatening to bubble over. She instinctively kissed his cheek causing Moritz's face to burn. Elise giggled and hugged him once more. "W-We should g-go back in," stammered the boy. His father would be looking for him. And Moritz did not want to be hit today. Not after making his peace with Elise.
Hanschen pushed through the thinning crowd of adults and children. He spotted his Mama and Papa speaking to Frau Bergman. "Hallo Mama, Father," greeted Hanschen. "Hanschen, where is your sister," asked Frau Rilow in a panicked tone. "Mama, I am sure she is alright. I'll go look fo-"
Elise walked through the door, Moritz holding her hand tightly. Hanschen spotted the two teenagers. Anger began to boil inside him. No. Elise could not have been alone with Stiefel! She would not shame the Rilow family. Would she?
"Mama, Papa!"
Frau Rilow gasped and ran over to her daughter. Moritz instantly released Elise's hand at the sight of her mother. "Elise! Don't you ever disappear on us like that!" Elise grimaced as her mother wrapped her boney arms around her. Moritz let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Mama, it is alright. I was with Moritz Stiefel here." "Moritz Stiefel?" Moritz straightened his posture at the sound of his name. "H-Hallo, Frau Rilow. Your daughter sang quite beautifully today."
Moritz turned to Elise and smiled. "S-She truly has t-the voice of an angel." Elise blushed. Frau Rilow was skeptical. She pulled her daughter close to her. Moritz noticed the tension growing between them. "Where did you two venture off to?" Moritz's pleasent smile faded. "W-We-" "Moritz told me he reminded me of his Oma," Elise explained quickly.
"Your Oma?"
Moritz gave Elise a quick glance. She nodded in encouragement. "Y-Yes. My O-Oma, God rest her soul, was a lovely singer. She had sung f-for one of t-the emperors." "Really? For whom?" Moritz crossed his arms. "I-I'm not sure." "Well, I am sure she did wonderfully. Elise, we must go. Your Papa leaves for Berlin in the morning." Elise nodded. "Good day, Herr Stiefel. It was nice to officially have officially met you," Frau Rilow said shortly.
Moritz nodded and bowed to the women. "Good day, Elise." "Good day, Moritz," Elise sweetly replied. Elise's cream dress swirled around her as she turned back to her family. Moritz felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and turned around. Herr and Frau Stiefel stood in back of their son. "Moritz, darling, it is time to leave," his mother told him. Moritz licked his lips nervously at his father's stern expression. "And I need to speak to you once we return home."
The teenager looked back at Elise, who was speaking with her parents rapidly. Her face brightened slightly. Her blonde hair whipped to the side as she went to look at Moritz. Her expression was hopeful. Moritz gave her a little wave.
"Ja, Papa."