The next morning most of the guys were staying home from church services, to tend to the bull, and to catch up
on chores. So, Hannah decided she would stay home, too, and breakfast lasted a little longer, and was more relaxed
than usual.
Guthrie and Kristin and I were talking about going on a picnic to the creek, and suggesting that I call and tell Kenny.
After breakfast Kristin and I were talking to Hannah about what food we could pack to take along, and the whole morning
had sort of a relaxed glow about it.
Kristin had gone upstairs to look for something, and I was refilling my coffee, when I looked out the back door and
saw that Adam and Brian, Crane and Daniel were all standing together, in a sort of a circle, out by the picnic tables.
Daniel was standing, his hands in his jeans pockets, and looking real serious. At least to me it seemed so. He was shaking his
head now and then, and then Crane would talk. Adam stood, seemingly quiet, but Brian-well, he was upset, too. He
waved his hands around and shook his head.
I couldn't hear what they were saying, at that distance, but I could hear that Brian's voice was raised, and then Daniel,
when he spoke, was talking way louder than usual, too.
"What's happening?" Kristin asked, coming up beside me to look over my shoulder.
"I'm not sure," I said, watching the foursome worriedly.
After a couple of moments of watching, and trying to listen, Kristin said, "They're arguing, though."
"Yeah," I agreed.
"They hardly ever argue," Kristin said.
"Yeah," I said, again.
"I hope everything's okay," Kristin said, and I heard the worry in her tone. I knew that Kristin liked being at our house, with
the family, for lots of reasons. Guthrie was a primary reason, for sure, but it was also because she was made to feel as though
she was welcome, and belonged. And, also because mostly everybody got along, and there was no drunken rages, or cursing at
one another, like at her house.
"Maybe they're talking about the bull," I said, in suggestion. Though I didn't really think that was it.
Hannah appeared beside us, from where she'd come down the back steps from upstairs. She was carrying Isaac,
and she said, "What are you two doing?" to Kristin and I.
"Watching the guys," I said, and Hannah stopped to give a quick glance outside.
"Oh," she said, then, and went about the business of making Isaac a bottle.
I thought that 'oh' sounded sort of strange-as if she had a fairly certain idea what was being talked about outside.
I exchanged a look with Kristin, and then said, "Brian seems mad."
When she didn't respond, I said, "Is it the bull? Did he die?"
"I think the bull's still improving, from what Adam said earlier," Hannah said. "Do you two think you could watch Isaac for me
for a bit? Clare and I are going into Stockton to do a grocery stock-up."
"Sure," Kristin said, immediately.
I said okay, and after that, Hannah and Clare got around, and left to go shopping. Kristin and I took Isaac outside, to let him
pet the goats, and then pulled him down the driveway in the wagon.
"I want lots of babies," Kristin said, as we walked along. She sounded wistful.
"You do?" I asked, sort of surprised.
"Yeah. Don't you?" she asked.
"I want kids," I said. "But, I guess I haven't really thought much about it. Like how many or any of that. It would be a lot harder
to finish vet school if I had kids."
"Yeah. I'm thinking that I might go to cosmetology school," Kristin said. "I mean, I'd like to. That's something that I could do while
I was raising kids, too."
"That's a good idea," I agreed.
"There's no money for me to go, though," Kristin said, sounding discouraged. "My dad left a little insurance money when he
died, but Mom has gone thru that a long time ago."
"She didn't save any of it back?" I asked.
"No. What she didn't spend, Buddy did. And Frank has had his hand out for years, too."
"Oh," I said, feeling really bad for her. Even if Doc G hadn't left me the money meant for my education, I knew that the
family would have made sacrifices and moved mountains to make sure that I got to go to the college of my choice. Kristin's mother,
well-not so much. She never put Kristin first.
"I'll tell you something-if you promise not to tell anyone else," Kristin said.
"Okay. What?" I asked.
"I'm thinking that this summer I'll get my GED, and then I can start working full-time, so that I can save up the money
for cosmetology school," she revealed.
I stopped walking, bringing Isaac's wagon to a halt.
"You mean quit school?" I asked, shocked.
"Well, yeah."
"But, next year is your senior year of high school," I reminded her. "The year that you get to have all the fun stuff
happening-"
Kristin shrugged. "I just think I should get a jump start on things."
"What did your mom say?" I asked, as we began walking again.
"Not so much, really. She told me I shouldn't rush into a decision about it."
"But, she didn't say that you couldn't?" I asked, even more shocked.
"No." Kristin shrugged. "You know my mom." She sighed. "She doesn't think about the future much. Hers or mine."
I was so astounded that I took a few moments to say anything more. It was so out of the realm of my realism that
a mom, a parent, would allow such plans-that of a sixteen year old contemplating quitting high school. I could only imagine,
in my darkest thoughts, what would happen if I were to approach any of my trio of Like-Dads with such a plan.
"You don't think I should, do you?" Kristin said, into the silence.
"It's not for me to say," I said. "I just hate to see you give up your senior year-"
"I know," she sighed. "But, I don't see any other way."
"Have you told Guthrie?" I asked.
"Yeah. I told him."
I looked to my right at her, and she met my eyes. "He wasn't thrilled with the idea, either," she said. "But, he says he'll support
me, if that's what I decide."
"Maybe you could talk to somebody," I said, in slow suggestion.
"Like who?"
"Well-like Crane?" I said.
"No!" Kristin said, coming to an immediate halt. "I don't want Crane to know! You promised you wouldn't say anything, Harlie!"
"Okay," I said, as I once again, pulled Isaac's wagon to a stop. We stood there in the driveway, listening to Isaac babble
happily in his baby talk.
"I couldn't stand it if Crane found out," Kristin went on, looking as if she was going to start crying. "He'd think I was a real
loser, or something."
"No, he wouldn't," I denied. "He'd never think that!"
"Well-" Kristin said, starting to walk again. "I don't want him to know. If I do it, I'll have my GED before I tell him about it-"
I didn't say anything to that, and she said, sounding worried, "Do you think he might be angry at me about it?"
"I don't know if he'll be angry, exactly," I said. "But, he wouldn't think it's the best thing."
We walked along in quiet for a few moments, and she said, "Well, I'll think about talking to him. But, don't say anything, okay?"
"I won't," I promised.
We had reached the end of the driveway, and Kristin took Isaac out of the wagon, and was carrying him. I was pulling the empty
wagon, when we heard a motor roaring up the road. We stepped over to the side as Daniel pulled into the driveway. He came up to where
we stood, and braked to a stop. Jill was with him, sitting smack-dab next to him.
Everybody said their hellos, and I tried to study Daniel, to see if he still looked down, like he had earlier when he'd been talking in
the yard with Crane, Brian and Adam.
He did seem to be less happier-appearing than was usual. Jill was silent, and she looked totally unhappy. She kept her head
down, almost, not really even looking towards Kristin and I.
"Well, I better get to hittin' the work around here," Daniel said, and I thought he was forcing it to sound as though he was
light-hearted. "I don't wanna get fired or anything like that."
Kristin and I both smiled at his attempt at humor, but Jill didn't show any response.
After that, Kristin and I went back up to the house, where I changed Isaac's diaper, and then Kristin put a clean onesie on him.
We sat around in the living room, letting Isaac play with his toys. At one point, we could hear loud voices coming from the
front of the house. We got up and went to stand at the front door, with Kristin holding Isaac.
Daniel and Brian were in the front yard, and they were at the point of being real close to yelling at one another.
I stepped outside onto the porch, in time to hear Brian holler something about Daniel needing to use his brain.
Daniel shook his head, and walked away, a few feet, and stopped, turning back to Brian, and said something I couldn't
quite hear.
"How do you think you're gonna do that?" Brian yelled. "Got no job-"
I could see Daniel look up and see me standing there at the door, and immediately his whole demeanor changed. He tightened his
mouth, and I could tell he wasn't going to say another word where I could hear. Brian had been standing, with his back towards me, so
he hadn't seen me. He had to have noticed Daniel's change of stance and facial expression, though, because he whirled
around then to see me there.
"Get in the house," Brian ordered. He wasn't yelling at me, but he wasn't talking pleasant, either.
I hesitated, feeling my stomach churning at witnessing their fighting.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Did you hear me, young lady?" Brian said, and now he was hollering at me, too.
"Hard not to hear you," I said. Not loudly, but my voice was clear enough to reach Brian, because his forehead wrinkled in
disbelief, and he took a step or two closer to the porch.
"What?" Brian demanded of me. One of those questions where he didn't expect, nor even want, an answer from me.
I turned on my heel, and beat a hasty retreat into the house, letting the screen door flap shut behind me.
I went to look out again at them, but from the relative safety of the window, pushing the curtains aside.
Kristin came to stand beside me. "Wow," she said.
"Yeah."
We two stood there, watching, but it was only a couple of minutes longer, and then Brian waved his hand and
stalked off towards the barn. Daniel went the opposite way, off towards the corral, until he was out of my sight.
"Bat shit," I said. I dropped the edge of the curtain that I held.
"Something big is going on," Kristin said.
"Yeah." I had the sudden longing for Guthrie or Ford to appear, so I could tell them, and see what they thought was
happening. Ford, for one, would be calming, I knew, and make me feel better.
Isaac had his head resting on Kristin's chest, his eyes closing.
"Isaac's ready for his nap," I said.
I nibbled at my bottom lip, thinking. "Will you stay with him?" I asked. "I'm gonna go find Ford."
"Sure," Kristin said.
I went to pull on my boots, and to saddle Charlie. I went to the tack shed, making certain that I avoided the barn. I didn't
know if Brian was still in there, or not, but I for sure did not want to run into him.
I rode off into the fields, not even sure just where I was going. I thought maybe if I didn't see Ford, or anybody else,
in the pastures, they might be up at the cabin. At the cabin, though, I found nobody. The bull was standing in the small
corral there, and to me he seemed to be acting normally.
I rode a bit further, and then took a ride down the other side of the fences. I saw in the distance, and came upon Adam and
Ford, working on rolling up wire, and reloading it into the back of the Jeep.
I left Charlie ground-tied and walked over to them.
Ford grinned at me in greeting, and Adam said, "Hey. What are you doin' up here?"
"Just out on a ride," I said, in answer.
"Hannah and Clare home yet?" he asked.
"No, not yet."
"Where's Scooter?" he asked.
"Takin' his nap. Kristin's at the house."
He nodded, and went back to what he was doing. When they were finished, I began helping to pick up the tools
that were scattered about.
I had originally planned to talk to just Ford, but somehow seeing Adam, handling the ranch chore with such practiced
ease and efficiency, well, his actions made me feel safe and less frightened.
"Brian and Daniel had a fight," I said.
Adam pulled off his fencing gloves, and shoved them into his back pocket. He looked at me steadily, but said nothing. Ford, I saw,
was looking concerned, his forehead wrinkled.
"They did?" Ford asked.
I nodded. "Yeah. A bad one."
"What's goin' on?" Ford asked.
I shrugged, and we both looked to Adam for an answer.
"They have a way of workin' things out," Adam said. Which was, I thought, not really an answer at all.
"Brian was yelling, though," I said. "He was really mad. And, Daniel was upset. I could tell."
Adam gave me a long, lingering look. "Daniel'll be alright," he said.
Again, not an answer.
He said to Ford, "Ready?" as he went around to the driver's side of the Jeep.
I looked at Ford, and he got my unspoken request, because he said, "I'll ride back down with Har."
"Okay," Adam said, climbed into the Jeep, starting it up. "See you at the house," he said, and off he roared.
Wordlessly, Ford and I went to Charlie, and I got on first, and then Ford put a hand on the saddle horn, and pulled
himself up to sit behind me.
We began walking Charlie back towards the house, slowly.
"It was real bad, Ford," I said.
"It sounds bad," he said. "What were they sayin'?"
"Brian yelling something about how did Daniel think he was going to do a certain thing, when he doesn't have a job-that's about
all I could hear before Brian ordered me back into the house-"
"Damn," Ford said, and sighed.
"What do you think it's about?" I asked, turning in the saddle to see him a little better.
"I don't know." He sighed again. "Somethin' is goin' on, though. Daniel seems like he's not really all here. Like his mind
is somewhere else half the time."
"Yeah," I said in agreement. "When he first got home last week, he was more like himself, but now-not so much."
"Could be that Brian's just thinkin' that Daniel shouldn't have quit his job at the club," Ford suggested.
"Maybe if he was a little aggravated about it," I said. "But, not as mad as I saw him being. And, besides, Daniel's good with
money. He saves it like crazy. It's not as though he's broke or anything. So, why would Brian be so mad at him about it? It's
Daniel's decision. Right?"
"Yeah," Ford said. "There might be more to it than that, though."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like I said, I don't know," Ford said.
We finished our ride home in silence, and at the corral, Ford helped to unsaddle Charlie, and then toted my saddle
to the tack shed for me.
"I have to be gettin' around to head back to school," Ford said, as we walked towards the house.
"Not yet," I said. "Stay a while longer. Please?"
"I for sure have to leave by four," Ford said, relenting a bit.
"Okay. By four," I echoed.
We were crossing the yard when Brian came out of the house, and down the front steps, going to Clare's small car, and reaching
in to pull out two sacks of groceries.
"Just in time to help," he said, and both Ford and I went over to where he was. Looking in, I saw that the entire back seat was
filled with bags of groceries, and there were at least four gallons of milk sitting on the floor board.
Ford lifted out another two bags, and headed towards the house, while Brian stood still, holding a bag in each arm. I picked
up a bag for one arm, and hooked my fingers around the handle of one of the jugs of milk with the other hand.
I looked up to see Brian regarding me with a look that seemed to be speaking without words.
I returned his look, trying not to be cowed.
"What's with givin' me sass earlier?" he asked me.
"I just wanted to know what was wrong, Bri," I defended myself.
"What does one thing have to do with the other?"
"I was worried," I said.
"Alright. You were worried. But when I tell you somethin', you do it, regardless of whether you're worried, or not. Got it?"
Well, I might be impetuous, and stubborn, but I'm not stupid. I wasn't going to take Brian on.
"Got it," I said.
"And that smart mouth stuff better stop, too. Those remarks you think are so cute are gonna get you in a world of
trouble. Understood?"
I suddenly felt really bad. Like wanting to cry a bunch type of bad. It had been awful enough to hear him and Daniel
fighting, and Daniel seeming so darn down, but now Brian was raking me over the coals. I didn't think he was exactly being
fair.
So, I didn't answer him immediately. A fact which he took notice of.
"Harlie?" he prompted me, sounding gruff.
"Yes. Understood," I said, and then I didn't care. I went ahead of him to the house, and inside, where I took my bag and milk to
the kitchen. Brian was behind me, and the kitchen was filling up with McFaddens. I set my stuff on the table and turned to go
right past Brian again. I went thru the living room, and up to my room. I closed my bedroom door, and, well, basically I threw a
fit. I tossed some stuff around, though nothing breakable, you know. I took off my boots, and threw them against the dresser. And then,
I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling.
7