I stayed up there in my bedroom for awhile, until there was a rapping on my door and somebody called out, "Kenny's here!"

I pulled my boots back on, and went downstairs, to find Kenny on the front porch, standing with Kristin and Guthrie.

His smile made me feel better.

"Hey," he said, quietly.

"Hi."

Guthrie was asking whether we should ride four-wheelers to the creek for the picnic, or horseback. We decided on four-wheelers.

In the side yard, as we walked, we could see Clare and Brian, sitting with Adam.

Clare called out to us to have fun, and Adam gave a wave. I found it hard to look towards Brian, so I don't know if he

waved or not.

I let Kenny drive and I rode behind him, and with the wind blowing thru my hair, I began to feel better. Emotionally, I mean.

I had a slight headache, which I hoped would go away once I'd eaten.

We spread out the blanket that we'd brought, and began to unpack the basket of food. The boys tore into the

cold fried chicken, which had been left over from last weekend and taken from the freezer. There were cherry tomatoes and

pickles, and potato chips in there, too.

I made sure that I ate chicken and tomatoes, and finished off with an apple. The four of us talked about stuff as we sat there.

About Kenny's problems with the two guys at school, about Kristin's plans for her GED, about all of that. It was good, all of us

sharing that stuff. I realized then just how fortunate that I was. To have a brother like Guthrie, who always had my back, and

a true friend like Kristin, and now Kenny, who was comfortable and yet caused my heart to flutter.

We talked, too, about the argument between Brian and Daniel, and what all the private conversations meant that

were happening around the house. I could tell Guthrie was worried, too, and he said he would find out what

was going on. He had the determined look of a McFadden focused on a goal.

We tossed rocks into the creek, and hung around, splashing each other with creek water. The water was too chilly to

actually get in and wade.

I went to sit down on the blanket again, and Kenny followed me.

"Somethin' wrong?" he asked me.

"Headache," I said, with a sigh.

"Bad?" he asked, with a frown.

"No. Not too bad. I probably should go back to the house, though, and check my level and all that."

"Yeah. Okay," Kenny said, and immediately he stood up, going to tell Guthrie and Kristin, who were just a bit down

the creek bank, that we were leaving.

Guthrie came walking over, with a frown that matched Kenny's.

"You okay?" he asked me.

"I'm okay, Guth," I said. "I'm just gonna get a jump on it before it gets worse."

"We'll come, too," he said, turning to pick up the picnic basket.

"No. You and Kristin stay," I said.

"Well," Guthrie hesitated.

"Come on," I said. "I don't want to ruin everybody's afternoon."

"You're not," Kristin said.

"Guthrie-" I said, looking at him. My one word to him, but Guthrie got my meaning. He knew that I didn't like all

the fuss that accompanies my diabetes.

"Yeah. Okay," Guthrie said.

"Guthrie's going to take me home after awhile," Kristin said. "So, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay," I said.

Kenny and I rode back to the house, and he parked the four-wheeler. He walked me up to the porch, and paused

at the bottom of the steps.

"Take care, and do what you need to do," Kenny told me.

"I will. I'm sorry about cutting the afternoon short," I said.

"It's alright. I just want you to feel better," he said.

I reached up and kissed him quickly. We said our goodbyes, and I went inside the house. The living room was full.

Nancy and Evan were on one couch. They were looking thru the boxes of photographs. Adam was reading the Sunday newspaper, and

Hannah was leaning against him, with her legs stretched out on the other couch. Brian and Clare were ensconced in the oversized

chair, also reading parts of the newspaper.

They all looked up as I came in.

"You all back already?" Hannah asked me.

"No. Just me," I said. "Guthrie and Kristin are gonna stay at the creek awhile."

"Where's Kenny?" Hannah asked now.

"He's heading home," I said.

"Everything alright?" Adam asked, laying the newspaper down in his lap.

"Yeah." I was remembering my recent "talk" with Adam, where he'd impressed upon me the importance of taking my diabetes

seriously, and not trying to hide things from the family.

"I'm going to check my level," I admitted. "I've got a small headache."

"Did you eat?" Clare asked.

"Yeah. I did."

Adam nodded at me, and I headed off to the kitchen. I did my finger prick, checking my blood sugar level. It was slightly high, but

nothing too bad. I poured a small bowlful of nuts and headed back to the living room to report. I knew they'd be waiting

to hear.

"What is it?" Adam asked me, without hesitation, as I walked into the living room.

I told him, and Hannah said, "That's not too bad."

"When did you eat?" Clare asked.

"It's been about two hours," I said.

"No, that's not bad, then," Clare echoed Hannah's statement.

I held up the small bowl of nuts. "And, I've got nuts to eat," I said.

"Good girl," Adam said, smiling at me.

"I'm going upstairs," I said. "I've got a little bit of homework to finish up."

"You should rest a bit, until your headache goes away," Hannah said.

I said okay, and went upstairs to my bedroom.

I did rest for a few minutes, and then I began on my Anatomy homework. I was struggling with a couple of the questions

on the worksheet when there was a quick rap on my door.

"Come in," I called out.

When the door opened, and Brian stood there, I was mostly surprised. And, not all that pleased. I didn't feel like having another

go-round with him just then. I'd been sitting, cross-legged on my bed, with my books in my lap, and I looked up at him.

"Hey," he said, quietly.

"Hey."

"Your headache any better?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's gone," I said.

"Good." He stood a moment or so longer there in the doorway. "Alright if I come in and talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, though I wasn't too keen on it. I was still smarting from that hard scolding he'd given me earlier.

Brian came in, and closed the door behind him. He came and took the desk chair, moving closer to my bed, and turning

the chair. He straddled it, and rested his arms on the back.

"Anatomy, huh?" he asked, nodding towards the book on my lap.

"Yeah."

"Hard class, isn't it?" he asked.

I nodded. "Like some of the questions-does heart failure mean that the heart has stopped working completely? And we have to

explain why we believe it's yes, or no."

"It's no," Brian said, and I looked at him in surprise.

"If a person has heart failure, it doesn't mean the heart has failed. It just means the heart isn't workin' as well as it should be. It's

weakened, so it can't pump enough blood. So there's medication to help," Brian said.

I was surprised into silence for a moment.

"How do you know all that?" I asked.

"I guess I've listened to Clare talk about her nursin' classes enough," he said.

"Wow," I said. "Can I write that down? What you said?"

Brian waved his hand. "Be my guest," he said.

We sat there for another moment or so in quiet. It seemed awkward. I knew he'd come up here because he had

something he wanted to say to me.

"Daniel and I-well, we weren't bein' quiet earlier. Things got out of hand. That was my fault," he said.

I was so surprised that I could only look at him.

"And, I know it caused you to worry, us arguing like we were. We shouldn't have done it that way. And, I'm sorry

for snarlin' at you the way I did."

I felt a lump in my throat at that. It's not that Brian is above apologizing-it's just that it's not that common of a thing, either. And, I

could tell he was feeling badly. I figured it was because partly that he'd hollered at me, but also I knew it had to be working on him

that he and Daniel were at odds that way.

I didn't like being at odds with him, either.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry, too. For sassing you."

Brian nodded, and I could tell that my apology reached him, just as his had to me.

A good long moment of silence, and I said, really quietly, "What's going on, Bri?"

I figured this was my best and likely only opportunity to ask.

Brian met my eyes, steadily. He was silent, and I could tell that he was turning over words in his mind. So, I waited.

"It's somethin' that I can't share with you right now," Brian said, sounding regretful.

"Why?" I asked, feeling my worry increase.

"There's things that need to be decided first-and then you'll be able to know."

"Are we going broke?" I asked. I didn't think it was that. I was fairly certain that it had more to do with Daniel specifically, rather

than the whole family. But, still, it was a possibility, I thought.

Brian looked surprised at that. "What? No, Harlie, we're not goin' broke."

"Okay," I said.

"I understand that you're upset, and worried about what it is-" Brian went on. "And, we're not, none of us, tryin' to

make it worse by not tellin' you. Like I said, some decisions need to be made, and then, you and everybody else that needs

to know, can be brought into it."

"Okay," I said. What else could I say? He'd explained it the best that he could, apparently. I could tell he sincerely wasn't wanting to

keep things private just to treat me and Guthrie like little kids.

"So," Brian said. "Alright?"

"Yes. Alright," I agreed.

He nodded, and moved to stand up, moving the chair back to its place by the desk.

"Thanks for talking to me about it," I said.

"It's okay. I know it sounds easy for me to say, but-try not worry too much, alright?"

I nodded. "Okay."

He headed towards the door, and I said, "Bri?"

He paused to look back over at me, in question.

"Thanks for the apology," I said. I felt sort of emotional as I said it. I knew there were lots of parents, (which Brian sort of was) that would

never apologize for anything to their kids. Or their teenagers. They would think it would show weakness, or that the kid would then

think they could run rampant over the parent. Or guardian, or whatever. I, however, knew that Brian was far from weak. And, I also

knew, full well, that I would never be successful in running Brian over. I wouldn't even attempt it.

When I said that, thanking him for the apology, he half-smiled, and his eyes softened.

"Thanks right back at you for yours," Brian said.

We exchanged another long look between us. A look that spoke more than words. And, then, he smiled at me. A real full smile this time.

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