FML

A Hayate the Combat Butler Fic

By

EvilFuzzy9

A/N: Because nobody could possibly develop a healthy worldview from growing up in a family like the Ayasaki – not even Hayate.

To serve is the lot of the butler. To fight is the lot of the soldier. To love is the lot of the lover. ... But to get screwed over by the universe time and again? THAT is the lot of one Hayate Ayasaki, cosmic plaything and full-time woobie.

And this is his story.

My brother is a dick. Seriously.

I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize this. Maybe it's because I'd always looked up to him... Maybe it's because I wanted to believe that there had to be someone -ANYONE- in my life who wasn't completely irresponsible – someone who actually cared.

I really was so unbearably naïve, back then, wasn't I?

Nobody really cares. Not about me – not for MY sake. Anyone who pretends otherwise -anyone who pretends to care about me for me- is truly only motivated by self-interest. Whenever someone deigns to say "I care about you, Hayate Ayasaki," they do not say so because they actually care. Such a thing is impossible.

There is no inherent value in the individual. A person's life is worth only as much as their bank account. The only interest others have in me is motivated from their own selfish agendas. They do not see me for who I am – they do not see a unique human being with every bit as much a right to happiness as they. There is no such thing after all, and any who would say otherwise are merely suffering under the delusions of sheltered idealists.

No. When people look at me, they only see cheap labor. A bargaining chip. Someone who can be made to do what they want with no compensation. They see a nice little kid – an easy mark.

Everything -and everyone- in this world exists only for themselves. To live for another is to live a lie. To sacrifice one's own happiness for the sake of another is to commit the highest crime against the natural order. That's what I've learned.

That's the only real lesson that my parents have ever taught me: "Live for yourself. Live in the moment. Don't worry about the consequences, have someone else take the fall." And, perhaps, it's the only lesson that really matters. ... If only it hadn't taken me so long to realize this, I might've been able to...

... Ah, but I suppose that doesn't really matter, now, does it? It doesn't change anything, after all. What's done is done.

I'm with my family, but I'm still all alone. The only one who ever seemed to care abandoned me. He abandoned me years ago, leaving me with Those Two. Not even he really cared. As soon as he was able, he left Them. And he left me.

With Them.

And for this, I hate him. For this, he is a dick.

Seriously: Fuck you, Ikusa.

And fuck my life, too.

- Hayate Ayasaki

A/N: Honestly. When I think about it, what the hell was Ikusa thinking, leaving his baby bro with two of the most irresponsible parents in the history of anime? Even Yukiji, for all her many character flaws, took Hinagiku with her when she ditched their deadbeat parents. What the fuck, Ikusa?-!

Also, Hayate turned out a lot more eloquent in this entry, in a way. Looking at how this one turned out, it's definitely probably even darker than the first one. So for those of you who said the first one was depressing, well... If you're looking for something cheerful, then this really isn't the fic. For cheerful, you'd probably want to check out Paizuri or Om Nom Nom, Hamster-chan! or even I Don't Have Any Friends.

The Hayate of this fic is turning out to be quite the Nietzche Wannabe, though, isn't he? Haha, well, since this is mostly just being played by ear, who knows how it'll turn out, eh?

TTFN and R&R!

[P.S.: Christ, five days 'til I turn twenty. And I haven't made any notable progress on the next chap of ONNHc! in nearly a week... 'Course, to be fair, I'd been out of my meds (again) for a few days, and I've been busy watching a metric fuckton of Bleach on crunchyroll dot com for the past week. As a result, the song 'Number One' has been stuck in my head all day. "If you wanna see some action, you gotta be center of AT-TRAC-TION~!"]