This is a shift day [see above]. There will be another upload this afternoon: The Cautionary Tale of Lucy Collins, chapter 1.

"In the Blur and the Haze"

chapter 2 of 3

For a moment, there had been nothing. A dark void had swallowed her whole, with nothing to hang on to. She didn't know that she could ever explain that feeling, of being in the process of doing something in one second, and then…

It had been loud, everywhere around her, everywhere… complete confusion, images that made no sense, swimming before her eyes before daylight turned to pitch black. Still it felt like after the darkness she had been dreaming, or… something. For a long time, she didn't know how long really, it felt as though someone had torn her head open and begun to pull out her memories like photos from an album, flashing them jarringly before her eyes.

She saw all of it, the good, the bad… the moments that made her laugh, and the ones that made her cry. Each one came at her with the feeling it inspired. The bad memories would stick to her, crawl at her or run into her, loud and harsh and hard. The good memories… it was as though they wanted to stay with her, breezing in softly and reassuringly, but in the chaos of those other memories they barely had time to touch her that they'd be shoved aside to disappear and they'd be gone.

She stood like a guiding line, from darkness to light, from the moment where everything had gone dark, to when the light eased and she could see again… Rachel. She'd see the words fly in. On my way. It was the last thing she remembered, but with that memory came everything else, the thing she'd been 'on her way' to. The wedding, her wedding, to him… In all the madness and the indecisions, the one thing that she'd come to know was that Rachel was a friend, and for that, Quinn had to be there, to support her. She'd said her piece, now it was up to Rachel to either go through with it or… She had to make her own decisions, Quinn couldn't make them for her.

In all that was happening now though, this odd place governed by her memories, there remained this sort of urgency, like she needed to get somewhere, needed to get to her. The bad things weighed her down, twisted around her limbs, blocked her path. And the good ones… the good ones tried to carry her forward, the good ones… so many of them had her face among them, it was impossible not to see her.

After a while, some things had started to change. She was following a new path now, and it wasn't so much about navigating the memories anymore, in fact they were falling away, she was leaving them, regained in darkness once more but only briefly before the light made its tentative return. It was muted and yet blinding after being in darkness for so long. It was the first thing that came, and then… sounds, also muted, or deafened, like her ears had popped or something. It would take some time more but then she'd begin to feel the aftermath of whatever had happened to her, to feel… the pain, so much pain and yet she wasn't moving… Maybe it was better if she didn't move.

The first bits of sound she began to recognize as human voices belonged to the doctor, the nurses… The first one she recognized was her mother's, still with something of a disconnected echo. Before long she began to understand where she was. The sounds and the sensations, they all came together to gather the conclusion that she was in the hospital. It would be a while longer before her memories realigned themselves, before she could know to think about what had happened to lead her here. They were telling her to relax, and of all things she could do, she would definitely do that.

She hadn't opened her eyes. She didn't know what would face her at this point, but she couldn't imagine it'd be good. She was scared, confused… Then there was a voice, a new one, a… The longer she spoke, the more Quinn felt herself awaken, until she could do no more than to tempt the odds and try to open her eyes. Like her hearing, everything was not perfect right away. There was a blur to all of it, but she kept listening, let the voice draw her out until her eyes could settle.

There she was, just as in those memories that had flashed in her mind, She had needed to get to her, and now there she was. As her eyes continued to settle, she kept them locked on her, just as her ears stuck to her voice. She didn't know that she was actually listening to or understanding the words yet, but she was hearing her and that was all she needed to do for now.

Just as her eyes had properly settled on her, Rachel had looked over, realized she was not only awake but looking at her. It was as though now that she could see her and know for sure that she was standing there, Quinn felt the need to tell her something. When she'd been driving there, her intentions were clear. She had told Rachel how she felt about this wedding before, and stressing that point would not get them anywhere.

But they were here now, and she didn't know… she didn't know… Had they gone through with it, was it done, were they married, was she… She tried to speak up, but Rachel stopped her. What could she have said? All she really seemed to want to know in that moment was if Rachel had actually gone and gotten married. How long had it been? Was it the same day, or had she fallen into a coma and it was days, weeks, months… It couldn't have been years, no way, but…

Rachel was telling her to stay calm, to relax, and maybe she was right… Maybe that was exactly what she should do. She would calm down, take time to make sense of everything so that when she could go ahead and talk to Rachel her head wouldn't be so muddled and… maybe she'd know what she was supposed to tell her. She may have given her reason as to why she thought marrying Finn would be a bad idea, but… that wasn't what she really needed to say. She needed time to sort it all out, and today she had very nearly lost all the time she'd ever get. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

TO BE CONCLUDED (NEXT THURSDAY)