This is a shift day [see above]. There will be another upload this afternoon: The Long Aloha, chapter 1.

"One Hand To Hold"

chapter 3 of 3

The next few hours had been about settling back into wakefulness. Everybody was hovering about her, checking her over now that she was conscious. She just let them do what they needed to do, quietly so. Every once in a while though, all the talk, all the check-ups, would get to be too much and she'd start to panic. When that would happen, her eyes would go to the left.

Rachel had remained steadfast in her post, sitting on a chair in the corner. Mrs. Fabray was there a lot of the time, but often she would have to be out of the room, chasing down this thing and that person. Rachel didn't like the thought of Quinn being left alone right then, so she sat, and she stayed. When Quinn would look over, panic rising in her eyes, she would give her a small nod that meant 'it's going to be okay.' And eventually the blonde would calm.

When it was just the two of them, Rachel would get up, coming closer to the bed to stay in her line of sight. She still wasn't talking, not that Rachel asked her to. For now she was better off keeping calm. And as for her, Rachel would breach the static silence of the hospital room with whatever she could think of. Sometimes she'd worry that she'd just be boring Quinn, but when she'd look to her the blonde was just listening, attentive. She probably didn't care for the silence either. So Rachel kept talking.

At one time there had been talk of her having to leave, but she couldn't make herself leave, and neither her fathers nor Judy would force her out. She was halfway asleep on the small couch there when it wasn't her who broke the silence anymore.

"Where's my mother?" Quinn's voice came out frail, unused and strained. Rachel was startled into wakefulness and she got up.

"She's not far. Do you want me to get her?" Quinn's eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and Rachel could see the trace of a tear or two having rolled out of her eyes and down the side of her face, past her ear and on to the pillow. After a beat, she'd stepped up and taken her hand.

"No, it's alright," Quinn replied, breathing slowly in and out.

"Does it hurt to breathe?" Rachel asked, noticing.

"Getting easier," she told her, just as her face creased under pressure – she was afraid again.

"Hey, you're okay," Rachel hushed. "Didn't you hear them, they said things were looking good," she reminded, trying to pass on positivity.

"I know, I remember," Quinn promised, paused. "When I close my eyes, I see it again."

"See what?" Rachel frowned, then she blinked. "The… the accident?"

"It's the same five seconds, every time… I'm looking at my phone, I hear a horn, then I feel the impact and my phone shoots out of my hand and… nothing." She whimpered, new tears following the streaks already made. "Do you really think I'll be okay?"

"You're strong," Rachel told her, and now her own worries seemed to demand to be heard, if the sudden tremble in her voice was any indication. "And you've got… a whole future ahead of you. Can't pass that up," she went on, trying to smile even if it came out shaky. They were quiet for a moment, and Quinn decided she had to ask.

"Is it still today, I mean… the wedding and…"

"Well, by now it's…" Rachel looked to her watch, the mention of time briefly reawakening the fact that she was exhausted and she pinched her eyes shut for a second. "… the next day, but just barely." Quinn asked with a look, and Rachel replied with a shake of the head. "It didn't happen," she revealed. "I was worried that you weren't there, they were closing, I… I couldn't do it like that."

"But you will?" Quinn guessed. Rachel's answer wasn't immediate or expected.

"To tell you the truth, I'm not sure anymore," she bowed her head. "These last few hours sitting here, a couple times I would try to think about we would do, when we would go back there, and… I don't know." Again, silence swelled, with Rachel reflecting on events that never came and ones that did, and Quinn embracing the fact that maybe there really was such a thing as second chances. "I'm so sorry," Rachel spoke, and Quinn only vaguely recalled hearing her make this apology earlier, too.

"What for?"

"I shouldn't have kept texting you, I knew you were coming, and I distracted you…" she explained with all her fears unspooled.

"Rachel, don't," she begged, not wanting to see her blame herself. "I shouldn't have been answering. I should have had my eyes on the road, but I didn't. And I keep thinking… I could have prevented this. But… it happened," she breathed. "And now I'm here. There has to be a reason, right?" Rachel silently nodded in agreement, though Quinn doubted she knew what she was getting at. Quinn wasn't sure she did, either. "I think when I was unconscious I was dreaming," she revealed.

"What did you dream about?" Rachel asked.

"It's kind of hazy now," Quinn admitted. "Except one thing, I… I kept seeing you."

"You did?"

"I think I knew I had to get to you. More than anything, I had to get to you."

"Because I was being such a pain?" Rachel guessed, but Quinn shook her head.

"I was going to be there for the wedding, if that was what you wanted," she told her.

"But you didn't think it should happen," Rachel knew.

"I didn't… I didn't want it to happen," Quinn corrected her, and Rachel looked up. "There's a difference."

"Yes, there is," she took one small step forward, needing to stop and take this in. "Why didn't… Why wouldn't…"

She stopped, caught her breath, which was quickly being spent. She found formulating some sort of response to be the hardest thing. The longer it took her to come up with words though, the easiest it was for memories to replay themselves in her mind, under the glare of a new light. Now she was starting to question what it was that had made her hold off the wedding. Yes, she wanted Quinn there, but time was running out, plans had been made… In the end Quinn's presence had mattered more than the actual marriage to Finn. She had taken precedence. Sure, they were friends now, but it was hardly the whole story.

She inhaled deep, still feeling Quinn's hand in both of her own. She didn't understand everything that was happening, not completely, but she couldn't deny things weren't as they had been on that morning. What had remained subconscious, unspoken, now stood on the edge of emerging.

"I… Are you thirsty, I can get you…" she started looking around, slightly frazzled.

"Rachel?" Quinn called her back. When she'd looked back at her, the blonde showed brief hesitation. "Will you stay with me? Please?" Rachel found her calm, in needing to reassure her.

"I'm not going anywhere," she vowed.

THE END